forum If anyone needs any short story prompts, I'm your person!

Started January 18, 2018 by @p3ncil

tune

Fantasy action prompt maybe??

ooo
Any G/T promptsssssss? XD

I need a prompt!!!!

I'm terrible at opening scenes, please help! I just need something that will introduce the main character (whose name I won't reveal for a few chapters) to the other two main side characters. The main character's personality is somebody who's closed off and seemingly bored with everything. He acts like he is above everybody else. However he cares deeply for a lot of people. One of the main side characters is Amber, who is basically Lesbian Mom Friend™ and she doesn't take any bs. Her default mood is usually just generally chill, but will kill if somebody hurts her friends. The other main side character is currently unnamed, but he is very closed off and doesn't trust anybody. He's rude and won't hesitate to destroy somebody, and always represses his emotions.

How am I supposed to start off this story?

@Jensen-rs what is your story about?

I'm using the multiverse theory in my story. The story is about a demon king named Asura that used to be extremely power hungry. He had wanted to be a god, and the only way to do that was to kill one of the three gods of his universe so that he could inherit their power. He ended up murdering the god Mephistopheles. However, before Asura could inherit the power and become a god, Lucifer stepped in and absorbed the power himself, then banished Asura from that universe. Fast forward about 15 million years later, Mephistopheles is revived, and wants to kill Asura. Asura must stop Mephistopheles before he kills him.

Okay, couple questions:

1. Is Asura the main character? If not, how do the main characters and his side babes tie into this?

2. Just out of curiosity, how was Mephistopheles revived?

1. Yes, Asura is the main character.
2. Lucifer and Mephistopheles were really close ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°) before he died, and for years Lucifer had been trying to revive him. Eventually, using some sort of ritual thing that I haven't figured out yet, he brought him back to life.

@Jensen-rs are Asura's side babes also immortal god-like beings or are they just regular people? If they are just regular people, how did they meet, do they know Asura is an immortal god-like being, and do they know about the whole Mephistopheles-Lucifer-power struggle-clusterfork-thing?

Amber is a regular human that occasionally performs dark magic. Milo (who is the other side character) is a powerful warlock. Amber and Milo met when Milo was living on the streets, and she took him under her wing. It took him years to warm up to her, but eventually they ended up like brother and sister. Upon first meeting Asura, they will have no idea who he is, but they believe he might be a warlock. The readers won't know who he is either, until a few chapters into the book. Asura will slowly reveal information about himself as their trust builds. Eventually there will be a scene where Asura gets emotional, and will end up telling them everything.

Hmm. How do they meet? Are they immediately compatible or do they irritate each other? Or do they meet as enemies? (Sorry about all the questions I'm trying to get a feel for the relationships between people and whatnot).

So, if Amber and Milo are living on the streets or something like that it might be a situation where (I'm imagining night time but thats up to you) getting food somewhere or heading home or something, and, if you want you can have either Amber of Milo sense Asura, as some magical being/ people can do that and thats also up to you and your universe rules. It might help to have them encounter him in a place where everyone will go regularly to have them start to observe him. I would continue this but I a m b e i n g y e l l e d a t.

Well when Amber and Milo meet, Amber irritates Milo to the point where he's wanting to physically fight her. But she puts up with him and he starts to realize that he's being a butt and he needs to calm down and appreciate the fact that she's giving him a place to live and food to eat and all that. As for Amber, Milo, and Asura, I have no idea how I'm going to make them meet.

@p3ncil that actually sounds like a good idea. Milo is a pretty powerful warlock, and he likes to be extra cautious because the world he lives in is dangerous (although ever since Amber started to take care of him, he hasn't been living on the streets). Also sorry you're being yelled at that sucks.

@Jensen-rs Okay. At what point do you want the story to start? As Asura meets Milo and Amber? As Milo and Amber are meeting? As Asura is dealing with the Mephistopheles-Lucifer-power struggle-clusterfork-thing?

As Asura meets Milo and Amber

Okay. Do you want them to meet on Milo and Amber's turf (around where they live) or do you want them to meet Asura when they're out somewhere else for…a reason? (I'm so ineloquent). Oh! I have another question. Do you want Asura to have been travelling around ever since the Mephistopheles-Lucifer-power struggle-clusterfork-thing or do you want him to have settled down?

I kinda want them to meet in Milo and Amber's territory, since Asura traveled frequently since being banished from his home.

Also if you're feeling up to it, could you critique my writing style?

Sure!

I got bored and started writing a scene that I probably won't even put in my story.

“Asura,” A deep voice said, echoing through the dimly-lit cave. Asura spun around, turning to face a man that he thought he would never encounter again. The blood drained from his face, and he backed away, placing an arm in front of Miles protectively. 
“Lucifer,” Asura whispered. His gold eyes locked with his brother’s blue ones. It had been 15 million years since Asura had seen his face, but it still looked exactly the same. His dark blonde hair was still long and silky. It just barely brushed the tops of his shoulders. His body was thin and tall, the skin covering it perfectly smooth and light… except for his hands. 
Asura squinted slightly, tilting his head as he examined the burns that started at his wrist and twisted down his hands and fingers. They vaguely resembled lightning strikes. 
“Good to see you too, Asura,” Lucifer said, drumming his fingers on the rounded top of his cane. 
“That’s your brother?” Miles said, gently pushing Asura’s arm aside and stepping up next to him. His expression remained calm and calculative as he took in Lucifer’s appearance and demeanor. Lucifer glared at Miles. 
“And who are you?” He asked bitterly. Miles looked up, a cold rage in his eyes. He opened his mouth to speak, but Asura put a hand on his shoulder and pushed him back. 
“Don’t,” he warned, stepping closer to his brother. “Don’t say anything, Milo.”
“Milo? Is he your new pet?” Lucifer said, looking back and forth between the two and smirking. Asura glared, a letting out a low lion’s growl. Lucifer chuckled, lightly covering his mouth and leaning over his cane. “No? A sex toy then?” 

I have no idea why its formatted like that I'm sorry

Ah, don't worry about the formatting. So, do you want specific edits or just a general good, bad, needs work? Or maybe a general work on (such and such) or you have a very strong (such and such)?

Can you please tell me what I need to work on?

Okay. I'd just like to say, first off, that your writing is really good. The only thing I really noticed is a bit of exaggeratedness? (Is that the word?)

Not much, but here: "Miles looked up, a cold rage in his eyes." I feel like this reaction is a bit too strong for the situation. Lucifer hasn't done enough to elicit that kind of anger yet (at least from what we've seen in this scene).

There's also the … used here. "His body was thin and tall, the skin covering it perfectly smooth and light… except for his hands." It doesn't really seem necessary, it just kind of gives it a bit too much drama.

Another place where I feel the emotion is too strong for the situation is here: "“And who are you?” He asked bitterly." You're very good at conveying the venom he feels but I don't really feel that such a level of emotion was really provoked. (At least as far as I can see) Milo hasn't presented any reason for Lucifer to be jealous or to feel any particular negativity towards him. (I mean they only just met and Milo hasn't said or done anything to him yet).

This stuff is really minor though. I had to have my editor's brain on to notice it. It's a good scene, I like it :)

Also, getting back to the "where to start?" thing, do you know what kind of place you want Milo and Amber's turf to be? Like, is it a city? Oh! Also, what's the general setting/genre of the story? We fast-forward 15 million years, are we now in a dystopian society? A futuristic society? Something akin to the world today? Are we even on planet Earth in this story?

Thank you :) To add a bit of backstory on why Milo got so upset is because he's in love with Asura. Lucifer knows Asura very well, but he hates him (he was the one that banished Asura from his universe in the first place). He knows that Asura is naive, emotional, loving, and very protective, so he's hurting Milo in order to get at Asura.