forum Could you help me with my Plot outline? (its really long lol)
Started by @Paperok
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@Paperok

Its a bit messy and overly simplified.

Book 1- (Untitled) (1st person (Kaylee Shinzen)/Third person omniscient)
(Notes: this book is most likely going to be the most cluttered as it is what was Book 1 and 2 mushed together.)
Before the book- Kaylee Shinzen is assisted by Karen a spy inside of Jay Shinzen's palace to escape. Kaylee sends her sister a message telling her that she would rather die than become like her or any of her other sisters.

Chapter 1- Home/Escape (third-person omniscient) Introduction of major characters on the island of Flora: Cameron Moriantes, Carissa Kuronas, Michael Somatose, Jake Uzena, Reynold (to some extent) Megan etc. a Shinzen shuttle crashes on the beach. some advance forces are sent to see whats happening. the community, not used to warfare is in a general panic. The group sent to check out the shuttle find Kaylee who dubs herself "Kaya Heperts"

Chapter 2- Fidelity/Acceptance (First person) Kaylee catches her "captors" off guard and tries to drown herself. She falls unconscious, Kaylee wakes up in an interrogation room and is questioned by Michael Somatose. (Note: The queens; Kaylee's sisters never told anyone about the "weak link" of the family, Kaylee) Kaylee manages to convince Michael that she does not pose a threat to anyone. She is left alone; Kaylee contemplates a way to kill herself. to Realizes that she has been actively keeping herself alive. from not simply attacking the woman who found her and getting shot or telling Michael she would kill them. she sees that she is too cowardly. Even for death.

Chapter 3- Shock/Assimilate (Third person omniscient) Characters react to what is assumed to be a Shinzen attack; Reynold Stone rounds a crowd in the square and goes live over the radio. he informs the people that it was simply a false alarm. Reynold, Michael, and Megan go and speak to "Kaya Heperts" (Reynold introduces himself as the leader of the rebellion) Reynold tells them to move her in with Zaura and Angelica and then has a talk with Michael in private. Reynold reveals that he knows that she is a Shinzen but he does not want Michael to tell anyone. Michael is skeptical but trusts Reynold. Reynold gets a phone call from Stratus Gnigh. Reynold tells him to pull all forces from the front lines, the war is over. (Reynold Stone, Stratus Gnigh and, Zatoi Clodes are the leaders of the "rebellion")

Chapter 4- Experimental/Afterthought (First person) -by nightfall, Kaylee is released to the public. She is escorted to the building; 38 by Michael. The people there welcome her with a mild mood, Kaylee is shown to the room she will be staying in. The room only has two beds, Zaura takes one of her blankets and makes a sleeping mat out of it. Angelica is notably upset about something. Kaylee stays up all night thinking about what her sister, Jay would do, she notices that Zaura is awake as well but decides not to speak to her.

Chapter 5- Guard/Offense (Third person omniscient) (The events of this chapter are concurrent with the events of chapter 4) Jake Uzena, Cameron Moriantes, Carissa Kuronas, Jackson Eriks and Megan Stone are sent to Omara to help some of the rebellion's forces get off the planet. (Zatoi Clodes informed Reynold about the situation) on the shuttle heading to the Omara Jackson and Jake talk about Jackson and Angelica's relationship. Jake ducks all of Jacksons questions. It takes a few hours for them to reach Omara; They leave the ship and sneak through Noku city. The rebel force is cornered in a subway by two Shinzen tanks and a few squadrons, one of the Shinzen is on the line with his superior asking for an airstrike. Carissa strikes first from a nearby rooftop, hurling one of the tanks onto the other. Cameron immediately covers the gash in her arm with a towel he had prepared. Jake and Megan attack the mass of Shinzen soldiers. The rebel forces that were pinned down take this moment to attack, a nameless man absorbs all the power in the block and converts it into kinetic energy, accidentally going too far he knocks down a nearby skyscraper. Jackson tries to stop the skyscraper from falling with a small plateau of earth, The team watches in horror as the skyscraper falls onto other buildings. some of the rebel men hear on the Shinzen line (They have hacked the Shinzen line, it is how they were able to survive this long) that a third force is approaching the city. Shannon Shinzen, the queen of Omara orders her forces to evacuate the city. Reynold Stone is angry.

Chapter 6- Predict/Honesty (First person) Kaylee finds she fells asleep after all. she sees that both Zaura and Angelica are gone. she gets up and explores the room. eventually, she leaves the room and meets Taylor Uzena (Jake's little sister) and Fez Rumierre in the living room, they are openly worried about the battle happening on Omara. Kaylee sees on the news that Noku city of Omara is being evacuated. A news anchor explains that some terrorists are fighting against the Shinzen army outside of the east subway and that they have already taken out the power in the area and caused major damage. Kaylee knows exactly what Shannon is going to do. Kaylee demands that one of the two tell her where Reynold Stone is so she can warn him of what is going to happen. Taylor leads her to the main office a few blocks away, Kaylee considers how she will tell Reynold anything without him being suspicious of her. (Taylor mentions that a second team was sent to support the first team) When Kaylee gets to Reynold he reveals that he is already aware of what Shannon is going to do… Atomic strike. Reynold tells Kaylee that he is going to use her as bait, to get the queens reckless. Kaylee finds this funny; she tells Reynold that her sisters wouldn't give a damn what he did to her. Reynold has no response to this.

Chapter 7- Denounce/Retire (Third person omniscient) The team fighting on Omara get flanked by both Shinzen forces and a mysterious group of people attacking everyone. they retreat back into the subway. Jackson finds the energy converting guy and punches him. They almost fight but Megan stops them. Cameron tends to Carissa's womb, (Carissa had been fighting by digging a finger into the gash she had used to flip the tank) Seeing that the amount of soldiers has greatly dwindled, Jake wonders why Reynold would send them here for so little people. Megan comments that Reynold was told that there were almost 2 hundred people here. The soldiers in on the conversation are confused, the one acting as the command says that there were 20, tops. Jake wonders why Zatoi would misinform Reynold. Jackson insists that they need to get out of the city asap. They consider using the subway track to get across the city. It seems to be their only way out. They start down the subway on the tracks. Jackson and the energy converter guy have a conversation, someone appears further down the tracks; Zatoi Clodes. Megan demands to know what is going on, she orders the others to stay back while she, the commander, and Jake approach Zatoi (Megan, gets a bad feeling off Zatoi that goes mostly unnoticed by the other characters, this is what fuels her suspicion) Megan begins to demand information but Zatoi attacks. The scuffle doesn't last long, Zatoi fatally injures the commander and breaks Megan's arm. Jake bisects him. (When Jake bisects Zatoi he is still conscious but does not do anything) Jake and another soldier check on the commander to find that he has already died. while some of the others argue about why Zatoi would attack them Carissa suggests that there could be further down the tracks. she cuts at her clean arm and opens up the ceiling to the street above. Jackson raises them up on a pillar of earth and they see that the city is evacuated. Cameron notices a rebel shuttle circling over the city. Megan notes that they need a signal flare. afraid of getting spotted by Shinzen Jake objects. one of the soldiers fires a flare anyway fearing the coming atomic attack. The rebel shuttle descends and they board. it is the second team Reynold sent (Michael Somatose, Angelica Lauss, Zaura Whotet, Macy Whocrid and, Erik Brennan) Jackson and Angelica hug and kiss. Michael (Piloting the shuttle) takes them into space with no Shinzen resistance.

An empty building, a group of masked people enter, they make their way to the basement and find a file room. One (Zatoi) goes straight to a file box suspiciously on the floor and opens it. One notes, calling Zatoi by name, that the strike is happening now. Zatoi lifts the file box with a heave and goes over to that one, the man touches Zatoi and they both vanish abandoning the others to death.

Chapter 8- Revert/Expose (First Person) Kaylee remains in Reynold's office. Reynold is angry. He gets a call from one of the tower watches that a shuttle is returning. Kaylee follows Reynold out to the landing area, a crowd builds behind them. a bunch of people flow out of the shuttle. Reynold orders some people to rush two injured women to the medical ward. A man grabs onto Reynold and yells at him demanding to know "What the hell is going on?" he tells Reynold that Zatoi tried to kill them and that he killed him. Reynold seems shocked by this, he storms back into his office; Kaylee hurries to follow him. Reynold calls up Stratus and yells at him. Stratus says that he has no idea what Zatoi was doing. Reynold asks why Kaylee keeps following him around. Kaylee explains that she has nowhere else to go, he might as well kill her. Reynold thinks this over, then he gets a call. Zatoi. Reynold points out that Jake said that he killed Zatoi. Zatoi finds this funny. Zatoi explains that he has reached the end of his time with the rebellion, he has a new ally. Reynold calls him insane and asks what he is going to do. Zatoi responds telling Reynold that he and Rio will topple the Shinzen empire then hangs up. Reynold breaks his communicator in a fit of rage. (Kaylee wonders why Zatoi would break away from the group if their goal is the same) Reynold tells Kaylee that he doesn't care what happens to her, she can do whatever she wants; leave, stay tell the others who she is but if she contacts the Shinzen and tries to tell them where Flora is he will skin her. `Kaylee leaves the building deep in thought, she considers her family, her sisters. she didn't have to go back to that. she could be a nameless number, she could be nothing and that is all she ever wanted.

Chapter 9 Mend/Introduction (Third person omniscient) Cameron makes Carissa go to bed early after checking all of her bandages. Zaura talks with Kaylee about what happened on the mission, Zaura asks if Kaylee wants to sleep on Angelica's bed since Angelica is going to spend the night with Jackson. Kaylee says she will but wants to take a walk first. Cameron is walking he meets Kaylee. the two go to a convenience store and buy some slushies. they then go to the beachside park and talk. Jake meets talks to his brother (Igleminez "Eagle") about Zatoi, Eagle says he will look into it. Zatoi meets up with Rio and is introduced to Rodger and Miguel.

Chapters 10-17 (First person/Third person Omniscient) These chapters are focused on Kaylee integrating into the society of Flora. some important events are
-Kaylee getting a job at the convenience store Carissa works at
-Kaylee spending time working out with Zaura and Jake
-Cameron questioning his relationship with Carissa
-Reynold and his staff trying to find Zatoi

  • Kaylee had a talk with Cameron about his relationship with Carissa
    -The convenience store Kaylee works at burning down on the day she was supposed to clean up but skipped because she was sick.
    -Miguel, Rodger raiding a Shinzen military base on Zaura.
    -Marissa, queen of Zaura planning on retaliation.
    -Angelica and Jackson moving in together
    -Eagle telling Jake, he and Reynold have a lead on Zatoi
    -Kaylee kissing Cameron.
    -Carissa throwing a fit, Carissa slapping Kaylee. Cameron and Carissa affirming their non-physical relationship.
    -Carissa gets contacted by Zatoi.

Chapter 18 Rupture/Blame (First person) Kaylee talks to Zaura about her spat with Carissa. Kaylee goes to apologize to Carissa; finding Angelica, Michael, Erik, and Radish but no Carissa. Kaylee checks Carissa's home and speaks to Cameron; Cameron states that Carissa left.

Chapter 19 Provoke/Inflame (Third person omniscient) Jay Shinzen's palace is attacked, her guard holds off the attack as best as they can but are overwhelmed by the sheer force and speed of the attack. the queens across the galaxy are alerted to the attack on Jay. (Jay is ordered to evacuate but out of stubbornness and in an attempt to show power she stays) news of the attack is displayed on TVs. Kaylee and Cameron see the scene on the news, Kaylee tries to negate her reaction. Zatoi reaches Jay taking a news camera with him, he has Rodger hold the camera. Jay shoots Zatoi. Zatoi breaks Jay's neck.

Chapter 20 Agony/Control (First person) Kaylee is screaming. Cameron tries to console her but is also watching the news that is still going. Zatoi explains that he is the king of Utopia now and if the Shinzen want it back; they have to come take it before the entire area gets blown to hell. Rascal bursts into the room demanding that Cameron has to go. Kaylee is left bawling her eyes out. Kaylee thinks back to Jay taking care of her, the kindest of her sisters. Michael shows up. Michael tells her that he knows who she is. Kaylee expects him to kill her. Michael gets her to move. they get a shuttle and take off. They talk during their flight; Michael asks Kaylee what she wants. Kaylee has no response. Michael tells her that she cannot get away from her responsibility. Kaylee returns to silence.

Chapter 21 Prepare/Evade (Third person omniscient) Zatoi is relaxed on the throne of Utopia. Rio makes his first appearance warning Zatoi to be prepared for the oncoming attacks. (Carissa is with Rio, Zatoi pays Carissa no mind, Carissa comments on that angering her) Rio takes Carissa and has her teleport them to his laboratory and gets her on a lab table. Brandishing a needle he tells her to prepare. A Flora team (Cameron, Jake, Zaura, Jackson Angelica, Eagle, Megan and, Macy) and meets up with a group of rebel soldiers and prepare to attack the palace. Several Shinzen fleets arrive in the atmosphere, led by Marissa Shinzen queen of Zaura. Zatoi's armies, taking up the Shinzen shuttles of the Utopian force attacks the Shinzen fleets.

Chapter 22 Duel/Respect (First person) Kaylee and Michael arrive at the palace. they sneak inside and make their way to the throne room. Michael reminds Kaylee that she needs to take the planet back, for the rebellion. Kaylee doesn't respond, Michael says that he will defeat Zatoi for her. Michael attacks Zatoi but is intercepted by Miguel, Miguel tears off Michaels' arm and decapitates him. (Michael displays his immortality first here) Kaylee shoots at Miguel, Miguel tries to catch her but she evades him. Michael catches Miguel off guard and knocks him unconscious. Zatoi questions how Michael is alive, Michael goes to attack him again but is interrupted when the palace rumbles with explosions. Kaylee rushes to the nearest window and sees that shuttles are filling the sky attacking the palace and the other shuttles. then a group burst into the throne room; Jake, Eagle Zaura, and Macy.

Chapter 23 Arrival/Threat (Third person omniscient) Cameron, Jackson, Angelica Megan and the rest of the rebel team sent to the area fight Zatoi's armies while searching for the explosives Zatoi set up. Zatoi is supported by some other of Rio's men as he fights off the team in the throne room. Marissa's fleet overtakes the hijacked Utopian fleet and descends towards Ouranos city (Ouranos city is the capital of Utopia and the location of the palace) hovering building appears over the palace. it fires out some missiles around the palace. Cameron realizes that this building is the bomb. Jackson hurls Cameron and Megan up to the "bomb" building and they explore.

Chapter 24 Vulnerable/Sight (First person) Michael, seeing the situation tries to get Kaylee to run away. Zatoi injures Jake and kills Eagle. the team starts running. Marissa's fleet reaches the ground and sweeps the city; Kaylee and the rest are confronted by Marissa. Marissa tells Kaylee to come home. The others find out who Kaylee is. Marissa gives them a chance to run away if they give her Kaylee. (Michael stays silent. Zaura gives Kaylee a long look, Jake is screaming in pain) Zaura agrees with Michael's dissent. Marissa takes Kaylee onto her shuttle and tells her soldiers to kill the others. Kaylee struggles and screams attacking Marissa but Marissa shoots her in the thigh.

Chapter 25 Another/Capture (Third person Omniscient) Zatoi goes underground and recovers. Cameron and Megan confront Rio Giraud. Rio reminisces about his history with Cameron. He gladly shows them, Carissa, limbs bolted down, on a table. Cameron; enraged, threatens to kill Rio. Rio assures him that Carissa will be fine he gave her the power to regenerate. then Carissa is lit on fire. Cameron Megan, Rio, Carissa and numerous random civilians and soldiers are transported to a pocket dimension created by Carissa. Marissa's fleet leaves the planet. Marissa is scolded by Shannon over a call; Shannon tells her that she should not have attacked, she wasted many of her soldiers. Marissa tells Shannon that she has their wayward sister. A nameless soldier comes up on her line, saying that she needs to get out of the atmosphere NOW. the rebel soldiers take cover and prepare for the explosion. but it does not come. Angelica and Jackson see a massive fleet streaking across the sky.

Chapter 26 Duplicate/Recognition (First person) Kaylee finds that she passed out from the pain. she wakes to her sisters; Marissa and Shannon. "I always hated your eyes" Shannon tells her. "But we do need you," Shannon explains that all of the sisters are clones of Ashley who is a clone of Mason. Kaylee is Ashley's successor, the single perfect clone of the batch all they have to do is wipe her clean. Kaylee thinks back to Michael's words "What do you want?" thinking back to everyone's faces when they realized who she was; back to the way she watched the world from behind a thick mirror, back to when she never smiled. she finally finds her response. she wants to bring it back, the freedom.

Chapter 27 Impending/Final (Third person Omniscient) Reynold steps out to address the citizens of Flora on the subject of moving away from Utopia. Someone points out the fleet approaching the island.

Book 2 (Untitled) (1st person (Carissa Kuronas)/Third person omniscient)

Chapter 1 Ambiguous/Potential (First person) Carissa awakens to the sky of the pocket dimension (she comments on the sky being familiar) the land is a barren desert. she is attacked by a Shinzen soldier, killing the soldier, she wanders contemplating the size of the dimension she created. Eventually, she comes across Rodger who tells her Rio had him looking for her. Rodger leads her to what seems to be the edge of the desert (The edge of the desert is a cliff side, on the other side of the cliff is a multitude of floating islands) Rio congratulates Carissa on her achievement and states that all they need to do is get back to the real world and she will be unstoppable. Carissa thinks it over for a moment and asks "Why did you wait this long to give me this ability?" Rio ignores this question and tells her to take them back, back to the real world. Carissa thinks of a way to hurt herself; no longer having her dagger she decides to get creative. Then Cameron appears. Cameron knocks Rodger off the cliff and holds Rio at gunpoint. How did Cameron get here? Carissa wonders. Rio pulls a gun and shoots Carissa; Cameron rushes to her aide. Rio commands her to strike Cameron. (Carissa is torn here. she wants to go back to reality and destroy the Shinzen but she also loves Cameron possibly as much as she hates them) Carissa shoves Cameron off the cliff but gets pulled off with him.

Chapter 2 Burning rain/Ignorance (Third person omniscient) The fleet fires missiles down on Flora. alarms sound and everyone rushes to get to cover. Reynold yells over the intercom for them to evacuate underground. Radish gathers Pico, Persa Taylor and Pops while looking for Boomer. Unable to find Boomer Radish gives up. Zatoi speaks to Miguel in his shuttle, Miguel questions what happened to Rio; Zatoi assures him that Rio will be here.

Kaylee is in a bed. A woman enters the room, tells Kaylee to come with her. Kaylee refuses. The woman leaves. (Kaylee comments on forgetting what the woman looked like the moment she left) This happens two more times. Kaylee wonders why she doesn't want to leave the bed, the bed is so comfortable, that's why she is happy here. why would she want to leave?

Chapter 3 Disgust/Goal (First person) Carissa survived the fall, of course, she did the first thing she notices is the field of floating islands above them. (Cameron is dragging Carissa away from the cliffside) Cameron's arm, he broke it. (Carissa wonders what happened to Rodger) Carissa reaches out to him but he yells at her. They argue about why Carissa left; she tells him that she needs to kill the Shinzen, all of them. Cameron looks at her with disgust. Carissa considers his perspective, Maybe she could turn him to her side. No, he will only get in the way. Cameron looks on as Carissa thinks about what she should do. He speaks again stating that he thought she was happy with what she had; this angers Carissa. She has to get back to reality, that's the only way she'll be happy, she has to kill them.

Chapter 4 Rhyme/Counter (Third person omniscient) Flora is fighting back. Pops uproots a building and hurls it into the fleet. Some of the soldiers end up on foot and start shooting. Zatoi reaches the main building. Reynold is calling Stratus and demanding that he send reinforcements. Stratus says that the Shinzen are evacuating the entire planet, they cant get anyone in or out. Reynold throws a small fit.

A shuttle starts shooting down other shuttles. Michael jumps out of the shuttle and hurls a shuttle. Macy lands the rogue shuttle and gets some people to help Jake who is injured. Zaura and Jackson fight off the nearby soldiers. They all proceed to retreat underground.

Zatoi, orders the fleet to pull out; the frontmost shuttles in the fleet hit an invisible wall. They are trapped by Flora's defense mechanism, the barrier.

The woman enters Kaylee's room again. She lectures Kaylee on her cowardice and weakness. Kaylee tries to ignore her unaware of how close the woman is getting; The woman makes Kaylee face her and screams in her face. The woman leaves again and never returns.

Zatoi has his forces land and orders them to find Reynold Stone.

Chapter 5 False witness/Parallel (First person) Late night. Cameron is considering his options, Carissa notices that Rodger is preparing to ambush Cameron. Should she alert him? No. Carissa remembers Cameron setting her up with her job at the convenience store. He was manipulating her. he only wanted her body, he didn't care for her emotions. Carissa keeps remembering further back, back when they first spoke to each other, when she first arrived at Flora. Rodger shoots Cameron.

Chapter 6 Cameron/Carissa (Third person omniscient) Having diverted the bullet Cameron fights off Rodger, their fight takes them up onto one of the floating islands. Carissa takes up Rodger's lost gun and shoots herself in the hand, she, blessing herself with the ability of flight she heads up towards the battle. Rodger catches Cameron and gets him in a hold. Carissa gets onto the island Rodger is restraining Cameron on and hesitates. Rodger yells for her to kill Cameron. Carissa freezes up. Cameron breaks out of Rodgers grip and pummels him before shoving him, unconscious, off the side. Carissa approaches Cameron and peeks over the edge to see if Rodger survived, (Cameron takes note of the fog growing around the islands.) They talk, slowly growing in aggression. Cameron insists that Carissa can go back, she does not have to abandon everyone for revenge. Carissa decides to attack him with Rodger's gun. Cameron and Carissa fight, the fight lasts until what looks like the break of dawn. They end up falling from one of the higher islands. Carissa defeats Cameron as they land knocking him unconscious. Cameron's last thought is anger over his failure.

Chapter 7 Carissa/Cameron (First person) Two voices rock Carissa's mind, two dissenting opinions. Help him/kill him. Talk to him/break him. They argue over what Carissa has to do, they argue over her responsibility. Carissa approaches Cameron; gun in hand, a bird catches her eye. She looks up and sees the sky, rays of sunlight slicing through the fog. Carissa realizes that she made the dimension as a copy of Kleoa, her home. Tears. Carissa breaks down the voices raging now, she curses her family she curses Zatoi she curses Rio she curses herself. But it wasn't her fault, it was everyone else fault she turned out like this. He would never understand he has to die/No one would understand, they wouldn't care to understand. The voices in Carissa's mind seem to come to an agreement; everyone has to die, Carissa, earned it. She wraps her hands around Cameron's throat, "squeeze, you aren't squeezing enough" the voices egg her on. There is no other option, this is what you deserve, everything they did to you, This is your responsibility. Carissa finally speaks, she says no. She lets go of Cameron's throat and shoots herself as many times as she can. "You cant die anymore" She presses her blood-soaked hands against Cameron's head and forces her life into his mind. She needed him to know what she knew, she needed him to feel what she felt, she needed him to see what she saw. She wanted him to pity her. "You broke him" Carissa passes out.

Chapter 8 Queen/Human (Third person Omniscient) Kaylee's sisters enter the room: Jay, Marissa, Betsy, Shannon and, Ashley. They each congratulate her; this hurts Kaylee. Kaylee knows why it hurts, lies always hurt. Kaylee awakens to find herself in Marissa's palace.

Reynold has a talk with Erik about how they need to get off the planet. They would have to sneak everyone on the nearest evacuation shuttle. Erik walks throughout the crowded underground area. He speaks to Radish and Fez and a few others before finally returning to Reynold; Reynold has a malicious look on his face.

Kaylee and Marissa talk. Marissa says that it was Jay's job to condition Kaylee for her rule, now it's up to her. Kaylee says that she will never take the throne. Marissa snaps at her declaring the people need someone to rule them, to keep them from destroying themselves. Kaylee says "Yeah they do, just not us" The two scuffle but Kaylee is restrained by soldiers.

Zatoi is having some of his forces fire on the force field around the island, he gets a call in from his ground forces on the eastside, they are getting overwhelmed.

Reynold orders the people around sending them to different places. "Victory or death" he repeats over the radio.

Chapter 9 Justify/Nowhere (First person) Carissa wakes, her head in Cameron's lap, she comments on herself losing consciousness too much recently. She also notices that her eyesight is weakening. Cameron watches her; silent. He apologizes, he wishes that she would've told him about her past, what happened to her. He goes on explaining how he felt seeing everything she experienced from the death of her family to being used like a machine to fuel the battle.
"I wanted to destroy everything." He says "The world, life itself I felt like I deserved revenge" Those words elate Carissa; he understands! But Cameron goes on "I was wrong." Cameron explains how pointless Carissa getting revenge the way she is would be. She cannot destroy the Shinzen alone, she has to work with everyone else. They go back and forth for a bit then Cameron tells her to take them home. Carissa wants to do something else.

Chapter 10 Domestic/Revolution (Third person omniscient) Reynold and the Flora "army" find themselves in a war of attrition With Zatoi, as long as Zatoi holds out and keeps them there, they will be subjected whatever the Shinzen is planning to do to the planet. As Reynold thinks this over he reaches Zatoi. Zatoi's closest soldier shoots Reynold. Michael Jake and Zaura fight and take down Zatoi (Radish and the others with him gang up and manage to trap Miguel in a burning building. Jackson Angelica and Macy shut down the barrier) Reynold, bleeding out; tells everyone to board the shuttles and go to the nearest city, join the evacuation. Erik refuses to leave Reynold behind. Reynold curses him and dies. Nameless people try to force Erik to go, Erik spots Zatoi desecrating Reynolds corpse and attacks him in a burst of rage. As the people evacuate, Erik and Zatoi fight. Erik knows how pointless it is (Erik referring to the fight as pointless is addressing that 1: They don't have a way to really kill Zatoi and 2: they have basically won at this point) Erik gets knocked down and Zatoi goes for a gun. Erik flashes back to arriving at Flora, it was a miracle. Erik had abandoned his post as a Shinzen soldier and fled out to sea on a boat the size of a fridge. Near death, his "boat" washed up onto the shore of what would become Flora, Reynold took him in and nursed him back to health. Erik grabs the gun Zatoi has on him and twists it getting shot in the shoulder; he then punches Zatoi as hard as he possibly can. Zatoi is unconscious. Erik falls in pain and slowly bleeds out. He dies.
Kaylee is approached by Marissa in her cell. Marissa opens the cell and opens her arms to Kaylee. Kaylee hugs her, Marissa slips a knife into Kaylee's hand and Kaylee goes to stab her but hesitates.

Chapter 11 Cross/Home (First person) Carissa and Cameron are silent as they reach the cliffside where they last saw Rio. Carissa wonders if Cameron hates her now even more than before. Carissa takes them up the cliff and they don't find Rio. Cameron tells Carissa that it does not matter where he is and that they need to go home. Carissa sees Rio approaching, he motions for her to stay silent. Carissa attacks him and gets shot, Megan appears shooting wildly at Rio. Carissa is shot twice in the back. Rio shields himself with one of his wide variety of powers. Cameron yells for Megan to stop shooting and checks on Carissa. Carissa hears Rio promising the pair that he could get them home if they let him go. Carissa wonders why Rio never left this spot, what had he been doing? she tries to yell at Cameron to not agree. Megan and Cameron talk about something out of Carissa's earshot, she gives Rio a look and realizes what he is doing. Cameron returns and agrees with Rio. Carissa hears Rio's voice in her head "When I do it, kill them" Carissa tries to speak but finds her throat tightened to a point where she can barely breathe. She never realized how powerful Rio was. Pain courses through Carissa's veins. Rio yells at her to do it! This is the pathway to completion, the only way to satisfy yourself. Carissa rises to her feet; seeing her intent Rio stops the pain but Carissa, before she can reach him, Rio encases her in a sphere of ice making sure not to harm her. Cameron fires a beam of light through Carissa and hits Rio in the arm. Megan shoots at Rio again; Carissa opens a "portal" between her and the pair and whips up some heavy winds in an attempt to keep Rio pinned. Megan jumps in with no hesitation, seeing Rio making his way around Carissa Cameron holds his beam pulling it towards Rio while cutting through Carissa. He orders her to jump into the portal. Carissa bites hard into her arm and tries to paralyze Rio, but the pain isnt enough. Rio, his body partially paralyzed, starts pulling the earth around the portal closer to him. Cameron fires another beam almost taking Rio's left arm off; the portal wavers. Carissa whips out her dagger and stabs herself in the lung. in the few moments that follow she turns and pulls Cameron towards her tripping him into the portal then tackles Rio off the cliffside. desperate, Rio runs pulses of electricity through Carissa's body. Carissa, however, does not let Rio go; her final thought being "No more"

Chapter 12 Evacuate/Final (Third person omniscient) Megan tries to find a way to get to Flora, her and Cameron are swept into an evacuating crowd.

Betsy, Shannon, and Ashley meet up on a ship over Utopia. Shannon orders her fleet to hold the asteroid for a few more hours. (The Queens are using special shuttles capable of creating a gravitational force to direct an asteroid towards Utopia. Betsy comments on Marissa's absence) Ashley asks why the evacuation is taking so long. Shannon retorts that Utopia is a large planet. Betsy comments that that's why so much of the rebellion is based there. Ashley assures her sisters that the rebellion will end with this move.

9 hours pass. The evacuation shuttles start to rise across the planet. Kaylee watches this from a ship she stole, thinking about everyone she has grown to care about on that planet she watches the asteroid being directed towards it. Kaylee watches the destruction of Utopia then turns to her unconscious sister.

Ashley congratulates her sisters. Shannon questions what will become of the refugees. Ashley tells her that they will be assimilated into Omara.

Cameron sits with other nameless refugees crammed tightly together. He knows everything, his history with Rio, what Rio was trying to do, what Carissa was trying to do. The Shinzen, Cameron raises his head to see Carissa with him; she smiles and tells him "We'll do it together, we will take this galaxy and free it from them"

Book 3 [final] (untitled) (First person (Cameron Moriantes)/ Third person omniscient)
(Note: six years have passed since the events of the previous novel)
Chapter 1 Subject/Occurrence (Third person omniscient) Angelica wakes up in her new home and gets dressed she joins up with others in her camp to go out and work in the mines. (The refugees from Flora were spread out into mining camps across both Omara and Kleoa) Shannon is speaking to one of her generals Ujotts. Ujotts mentions a supply ship being hijacked, Shannon reminds him that the rebellion will always try to overthrow them, it will never disappear.

Taylor and Angelica meet up with other "slaves", they share food. Radish is still broken up about Fez's recent death. (Fez and many others were crushed in a mine shaft collapse.) Angelica wonders whether Jackson is alive. Angelica has always known Jackson as the most powerful person she had ever met. Taylor wants to start a riot, Angelic snaps at her (In the first month of their labor, there were dozens of escape attempts. motion sensing automatic sound-based weapons (It has been proven since generally, you don't see a powered one with their ears defended, sound-based weapons are objectively the most effective) and heavily powered guards and booby traps around the perimeter that react to trackers implanted in every slave's bloodstream have annihilated every attempt. Everyone is ordered back into the mines. Angelica finds herself thinking of death as she mines. Death would be better, she would be with Jackson, right? She considers using her power to crush herself and those around her. She starts to raise her arms; a solder notices and raises his gun. There is a muffled impact in the distance, then the camp and in the next instant the cave is hit with a blast of wind and dust. (H-27 The nearest Omara military based was bombed by a 53 kiloton atomic weapon)

Shannon is scrambling to organize her forces, 3 of her biggest bases were bombed and are swarming with rebel ships, what are they doing? where did they get this much power? Shannon has her armies engage and goes to call in Betsy but a single person appears in the doorway.

Chapter 2 Paradigm/Butcher (First person) Cameron and Carissa approach Shannon, Shannon asks if he is responsible for the bombings, Cameron shrugs. Carissa tells Shannon that it is a new beginning; Shannon ignores this, that annoys Cameron. Cameron tells Carissa that he will make Shannon respect her. Shannon is confused, Cameron attacks her. The two fight for a bit but Kaylee appears shooting Shannon in the back. Cameron Carissa and Kaylee make sure Shannon dies and go to meet up with Stratus. They discuss the possible use of all the slaves, Stratus offers using them as a decoy. The three meet up with some other soldiers and take out a few guards. They load onto a ship and take off. It takes a few hours for them to meet up with the other ships with the slaves that survived the attacks. Kaylee gives a speech explaining that they are going to fight the Shinzen, now, they don't have the resources for a drawn-out war. It is kill or be killed, The slaves cheer.

Chapter 3 Arm/Lunacy (Third person omniscient) The slaves are prepped for war, Angelica reunites with Jackson after nearly a decade apart. Cameron is spoken to by some friends from Flora, Michael asks him what happened to Carissa and him… and where is Carissa? Cameron tells them that they got lost in the battle in Ouranos, and explains how he got out of Shinzen custody and ran into Kaylee, Carissa is right here. Jake Michael Zaura and Radish discuss Cameron in private. They pity him but decide not to confront him about it. Cameron Stratus and Kaylee explain their plans to the most capable of the soldiers. (send the bulk of their forces to Kleoa and have a small team take out Ashley Shinzen.) Zaura wonders how they have the resources for even this operation. Kaylee explains that they have Marissa.

Betsy speaks to Ashley, Omara has gone silent, no word from Shannon or her generals. Ashley tells Betsy to ramp up her defenses, relay it to Marissa and goes silent.

Chapter 4 Wraith/Impend (First person) Cameron has a talk with Carissa. She asks him who will be on the team killing Ashley. Himself, her Jake, and Stratus. Carissa worries that she will get in the way, Cameron assures her that she won't. Forces across Omara and Zaura are mobilized in the next seven hours. Cameron and Carissa join up with Jake and Stratus. They start their journey to Breema. Carissa raises a thought, what if she isnt there? With everyone's silence Cameron worries.

Chapter 5 Round/Impact (Third person omniscient) Betsy has a meeting with her generals, they question her certainty of the attack, she orders them to base the defense around her palace. Alarms go off throughout the palace and the city while fleets of ships gather in the airspace of the capital. Betsy is informed of an army entering the atmosphere on the other side of the planet. Betsy suspects someone with a portal ability. Betsy is alerted that ground forces are attacking a large city called Vallkana. Betsy sees that they want her to send her forces to Vallkana but the moment she does they'll attack her palace. She orders all her forces to Vallkana.

The rebel forces settle in Vallkana ordering citizens to evacuate. Kaylee watches as Marissa's largest ship enters the airspace. Marissa and her discuss what will happen if they win, Kaylee offers the possibility of letting the people choose. Marissa finds this funny. A soldier tells them that Betsy is attacking. Kaylee steps out to see the battle already beginning.

surprised by the number of ground forces there are Kaylee orders Jackson to create a ravine with the help of a few other people with abilities like his. Jackson's team manages to create a 100 ft ravine.

A few soldiers infiltrate Betsy's palace to find that she is gone.

James, Betsy's lead general orders the forces back and lands the ship in the outskirts of the city. Betsy steps out.

Chapter 6 Breema/Addition (First person) Cameron and the others arrive on Breema. They engage some soldiers and kill them. Jake is almost killed by a soldier Carissa failed to kill. Jake and Cameron argue over Carissa's existence. The four are caught off guard by Ashley Shinzen. Stratus goes to shoot her but she reflects the bullet off her arm with Jake's ability. (Ashley's ability is to use the abilities of those within 100 feet) Stratus keeps trying to shoot her, Jake tells Cameron that it does not matter if Carissa is real; they have to kill Ashley. Stratus asks why Ashley would come to them. Ashley explains that it is time for her to do what her father did, restart everything. Soldiers sweep into the room, the team runs away. They manage to ambush and kill the soldiers, Stratus offers that one of them should fight Ashley alone, Cameron nominates himself. Before he goes Jake speaks with him. Jake tells Cameron "Tell Carissa to stay here," Cameron tells Carissa but she does not want to. Cameron shrugs her off. It takes a while for Cameron to find the bunker Ashley went to. Picking off the soldiers one at a time from a distance he approaches.

Chapter 7 Consider/Tribute (Third person omniscient) Betsy's fleet lands, she steps out in front, some shots are fired at her but they pass right through her body.
Kaylee leads a few soldiers out to meet her, Marissa stays behind. Kaylee speaks with Betsy, Betsy asks what became of Shannon and Marissa. Kaylee plays dumb. Michael quietly comments on Betsy seeming off. Kaylee asks Betsy to join her, Betsy scoffs and demands that she surrender now. They go back and forth, Kaylee growing angrier. Her radio goes off, an alert. The city is flooded with light and wind.
(Explanation: Betsy had some men surround the city and put up a dome force field, then dropped two atomic weapons from above, the force field not only jams their signals it protects everyone outside of it from the blast) Betsy then has her men fire on Kaylee's party, Michael shields Kaylee with his immortal body and the others fight back. Kaylee tries to yell at Betsy over the gunfire, there were so many innocents still in the city. Zaura and another soldier raise a wall of fire between them and they try to run away.

Jackson and many others were blown into the ravine they created. Jackson, in a panic, pulled the walls closer to him and Angelica in an attempt to stop their fall. Angelica is grunting with pain, something drips on Jackson from above, he realizes he crushed someone in his attempt to save himself and Angelica. Jackson cries. Angelica tries to comfort him, he hears how shaky she sounds and tries to pull her up; she tells him she is stuck, leave her. She keeps trying to convince him that she is bleeding out already, her lower body is useless. Jackson hears the muted sounds of the war from above, screams, gunfire, explosions. Angelica pleads with him to go fight, her voice is hoarse with dirt. Jackson leaves her, traveling through the earth, he bursts into the air and strikes down several warring shuttles with some of the earth he brought up with him. Kaylee gets to the whats left of the building Marissa was in. Betsy has to die.

Betsy returns to her shuttle.

Chapter 8 Ruler/Patch (First Person) Cameron fires lasers at Ashley but she uses the ability of one of the dead soldiers to make him miss. They fight, hard. Cameron is unable to gain an upper hand, he notes that she must've put that team of soldiers together with abilities that benefit her the most. Cameron is injured and hides for a moment. Ashley turns and goes to board a shuttle, Cameron fires a laser into the shuttle and approaches painfully. Carissa appears beside him. she warns him that if he goes after Ashley, she will kill him. As Ashley's shuttle disappears into the sky, Cameron turns to Carissa and asks her to bless him with immortality, like she did Zatoi; they can live forever together happily. Carissa reaches out to him but her hand passes through his chest. They share a silent moment. Cameron finally admits that he never wanted to let her go, he never wanted to live on without her, that's why he will go after Ashley. Without another word Carissa disappears. Cameron gets on a shuttle and takes off after Ashley.

Chapter 9 Sister/Heal (Third person omniscient) The battle seems to be going quiet, shuttles are wrecked across the city, Kaylee rushes through some muffled shoot-offs. Some soldiers round up behind her as they make their way towards Betsy's shuttle. Jackson and Zaura work together to launch Kaylee at the shuttle. She gets in and shoots down Betsy's guards in an instant. Betsy holds her at gunpoint, Kaylee is in a rage, she shouts at Betsy telling her that the Shinzen is done, there is nothing left worth killing over! Betsy hesitates a bit and, laughs. Kaylee makes her way to her sister, as she goes on about how the galaxy cant recover with her still here. Kaylee agrees and shoots her.
Kaylee lands the shuttle and declares the battle won.
Ashley's shuttle enters the atmosphere. Kaylee tries to get someone to shoot it down.

Chapter 10 / (First person) Cameron follows Ashley into the atmosphere of Kleoa, he curses his shuttle's lack of weapons as he catches up to her. Ashley evades some missiles and continues across the sky, Cameron wonders where she is going. Cameron pushes the shuttle to go faster, he is nearly on top of Ashley's shuttle. He crashes his ship into hers.

Chapter 11 Final (Third person omniscient) Zaura approaches Jackson, she tries to comfort him. Kaylee has some scouts go after Ashley. She assures those around her that everything will be fine. The scouts return reporting that they found the remains of Ashley's shuttle and they found a man, alive. Kaylee, Michael and a few others see Cameron covered with immense burns.
News gets across the galaxy of the death of the queens. there is chaos and disorder, Kaylee manages to display herself across several large cities and she informs the people that they are free to live for themselves. When she is done Michael warns her that they could destroy themselves. Kaylee chuckles and says that if they do, they have no one to blame but themselves.
Possible epilogue- Zaura and Jackson live together as war buddies on Omara. Kaylee lives alone on Breema. Cameron also lives on Omara a few blocks down from Zaura and Jackson. The galaxy is in a fragile transition period but people have been putting together their own communities with varying cultures and things seem like they could possibly turn out alright.

@doug

Ok, a suggestion I have is to either eliminate the first person or the omniscient pov's. It can be extremely confusing when a story switches between first person and third person, so I would suggest just to stick with one and not use both.

While I think the actual plotting is solid (you seem to have a really good base to write from) I'm having a hard time figuring out your characters and the actual depth in the story. For a plot outline, it is good. I would need to know more about the individual characters and the setting to know if the thematic elements in the story are solid too.