forum Courting Traditions

Started June 23, 2019 by Sophie Herbert

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Does anyone have any ideas for courting traditions? Specifically with royals and upper class. How they choose the right princess for a prince?

I mean, standard dances and sweet-talk usually work if you're looking for love, but most people marry based on status. Big houses, lots of money, most people are looking to retire comfortably and sit around eating bonbons. That's the dream, at least, but lots of parties would have a dance schedule. You'd have to research it, but most parties would have one or two waltzes, a Grand March, a Quadrille, Reels, etc. until they all got drunk and went home.

@Yamatsu oooh thank you this helps! I'm trying to think of specific qualifications that will make one princess seem like the best fit for the marriage to the prince and how I can flesh it out into a ceremony form. I will definitely research specific dances.

Most prince/princess marriages are done for political means, usually making two kingdoms allies through thick and thin. As for what kingdom they would rule, I'm not sure. Either the prince becomes king of his home, the princess becomes queen of her home, or there's a bunch of political whatever that could even merge the kingdoms into one. I dunno.

Asking parents/guardian figure for their blessings in both courtship and marriage.

So my story is set in a weird diarchy (two kings) and a court made up of ten noble houses. Each house has a color/gem associated with it and each house has field that it is in charge of. The people who work in those fields wear the colors or arm bands with the colors of 'their' house.

If a noble boy is dating a girl, he will get her a thin gold bracelet with a tiny gem from their house. So for instance the War house is Sapphires, so he would get her a gold bracelet with a tiny sapphire. The lower class (that obviously can't afford gems) will tie a colored (still associated w/ house) ribbon around the woman's wrist.

For engagements, noblemen will present the woman with a ring with the house gem (noble), lower class-men will carve or have a blacksmith form a ring for them.

In the wedding itself, a noble woman will be given a dagger encrusted their maiden house gem, or if they are from a neighboring kingdom, a dagger bearing the colors/crest of their home. The bride will wear a base white dress with embroidery of their maiden and new house colors and gems. The bride wears a veil up to the front of the temple and then takes the dagger and cuts the veil down the middle and the groom lifts it away - symbolizing that the woman is willingly cutting barrier between the two of them and from then on, they move through life together. In two king houses, the new queens take on the new colors and leave their family colors behind because they cannot show preferential treatment.

@LittleBear Omg that concept sounds so cool!

Both the bride and groom wear gold, and are not allowed to touch each other at all during the ceremony until the priest puts cloth over their hands, while the cloth is covering them they hold each others hands and once the priest removes it they are married.

@TheDragonOfTheWest oooh that sounds sick I love it

Omg, @sophie Herbert, so sorry I didn't reply but, belated thanks!

@LittleBear Hahaha that's all good! Hope your writing is going well

Bringing this thread back from the dead to list a bunch more courting arrangements/traditions in no particular order:

• Royal Matchmaking: It is not uncommon for the monarch or other members of the royal family to play a significant role in selecting a suitable partner for a prince. They may consult astrologers, seers, and other diviners to find the most compatible match.

• Arranged Marriages: In many societies, marriages are arranged by the families of the bride and groom, based on considerations such as social status, wealth, and political alliances. This may involve a formal negotiation process and the exchange of gifts and dowries.

• Courtship rituals: Courtship rituals may vary depending on the culture and time period. For example, in a medieval European setting, a knight might perform feats of chivalry or engage in a tournament to win the favor of a princess. In other cultures, potential suitors might bring gifts or perform dances or songs to impress their beloved.

• Social Events: Balls, parties, and other social events are often used as opportunities for potential suitors to mingle and get to know each other. These events can be elaborate affairs, with elaborate decorations, music, and dancing.

• Trials and Tests: In some societies, suitors might be put through a series of tests or trials to prove their worthiness as a partner. This could involve demonstrating strength, intelligence, or other qualities valued by the culture.

• Family Approval: In many royal and upper-class societies, the approval of the families is crucial before a marriage can take place. This might involve meeting with the potential in-laws, gaining their approval and proving that they are a good match for their child.