forum Writing Excerpts
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@SupernaturalSyGuyIsTIred group

Share excerpts from what you're writing and receive feedback on them. Let the writer know if you'd be interested in reading more.


Excerpt from Demon's Hunt

“What be your name, oh great summoner?” He asked the man.
“You may call me father. From this point on you are to be known as William. You are to act as my adoptive son.”
He looked at this man. He liked the name that he had for him. Standing up and looking around, William noticed that strange markings adorned the floor surrounding him. Five lines were arranged in a circle, and some strange symbols were inside the circle. He tried to move toward the man that had wanted William to call him father, but a barrier halted his advancement.
“You want me to call you father, yet you hold me captive in a devil’s trap. Release me and I shall allow you to live. Better yet, I’ll give you a deal that goes past the limit.” What am I saying? Deals? Devil’s traps? How do I know about these?
“How many years are you talking?” He asked William.
“Fourteen years; your deal will last fourteen years if you set me free.”
“Alright, fourteen years until our deal comes to a close will do,” the man said.
“What do you want then? Youth? Fame? Fortune…? A bigger dick?”
“No. I want a son, and I wish for my son to be you.”
“No,” William said. “Surely there must be something else that you want.” The man shook his head, turned, and started to walk away.
“Then stand here for a long time. I’ll summon someone else to make my deal with.”
“Wait!” William said. Endless pain and suffering, or one measly deal? Surely a deal would be more bearable.
The man turned back around. This would be the first deal that William would ever make, so he decided to grant him what he wished.
“You’ve got a deal.”
“So, what do I do now? Sign a contract in blood?” The man asked.
“No, we seal the deal with a kiss,” William responded. Wait, a kiss? Really? How do I even know this? The man was at first hesitant, but then he moved his foot to break the trap. William stepped out and kissed him; their deal was sealed.

@SupernaturalSyGuyIsTIred group

Excerpt from Rising Flame.

“There’s Jason the Silent. Did you hear about what he did in Mister Sexy’s class?” A girl asked her friend.
“Yeah, he flipped out! I heard that he threw a chair at Katie Smyth,” her friend said.
“I heard that he had tried to punch Mister Stockton,” another boy said. Jason found this amusing, for he sickly enjoyed that people feared him. Those that were friends with him knew that he would do no such thing.

Deleted user

Excerpt from my fic, Love, Lili.

Lili never would have guessed that she would be this excited to go to school. But after two long weeks of hell at home, it was the only place she wanted to be. The moment she stepped onto Hogwarts ground, she felt safe. As she split off from Draco to head towards the Hufflepuff common room, she made sure that her wrist was hidden by her robes.
With every step that Lili took, she felt safer. She didn't know what it was exactly, but maybe it was just the fact that Hogwarts wasn't Malfoy Manor. Lili got into the common room through the correct combination of barrel tapping, and was expecting to go straight to her room.
"Lili!" She heard the moment she entered, dragging her bag in after her.
She looked around to see who called her name, and was delighted to see Cedric. She ran up to him and gave him a big hug, squeezing him tightly. "I missed you so much."
"Hey, I missed you too. You're my favourite little short stack."
"Hey! I can't help that I'm short! Maybe you're just the one who's tall."
"Perhaps…hey, what's that on your arm?"
Lili inhaled sharply and tried to hide it. "Oh, nothing."
"Hey, no." Cedric grabbed her arm, concerned. "Why do you have bandages on your wrist?"
"I just burned myself in the kitchen at home. Nothing huge."
He clearly didn't buy it. "I'm sorry, but I refuse to believe that you, a Malfoy, would have been in the kitchen cooking for your family." Lili looked down. "Now, what really happened?"
"Um…"
"Lili."
"Okay, fine. Father burned me because he doesn't like that I'm in Hufflepuff. Says that I'm a disgrace to the Malfoy name and should be lucky that I'm still apart of the family tree. If I'm being honest, I wouldn't be surprised if I'm disowned by the end of the year."
"Does Draco know?"
"Oh, he doesn't care. Mother and Father's views have gotten so into his head that he's terrible. Now that he's in Slytherin, he's not fun to be around anymore. Just a simple difference in house seems to have pushed its way through our relationship."
Lili sighed, then realised she was rambling a little bit too much. "Oh, I'm sorry. You probably don't want to hear anything about what goes on with my family behind closed doors. How was your Christmas?"
"Lili…" Cedric trailed, still extremely concerned. But he could see that Lili didn't want to talk about it, so he let the subject go. "It was okay, I suppose. Scarves like always. Nothing new. I guess you want to go put your stuff away."
"Oh, yeah. Probably should." She picked her things up and began to move towards her dormitory. She stiffened a little when Cedric grabbed her arm again, but it felt different. His grip wasn't tight, not like her father's.
"Hey. I'm here for you if you need me, okay?"
"Okay. Thank you."