forum What do you think of this character?
Started by @Reblod flag
tune

people_alt 2 followers

@Azuresbend

Ha, well my first suggestion would be remembering that anyone coming in cold to this wouldn't know the universe as deeply as you do, your descriptions sound as if they are written for someone who already has a deal of knowledge about the species and politics of your world. And on one hand thats fine if you want to use this site as a personal notebook instead of a platform from sharing your character, but if you did want to use it for the second option than you might want to explain more about your character. For example a bit about the kingdom she rules, about how she got her scars, about why she has talons? Just remember that we the people of the internet aren't familiar with the brand of angels ou use for your story. And that's something the tripped me up, when I hear angel I'm thinking divine warrior of an ethereal plane with makes some of your description confusing because you don't seem to be writing a typical angel. For example, how can an angel not be religious when angels are the servants of a monotheistic God? Stuff like that can be confusing.
Anyway all and all though she sound like a good safe redistion of the warrior princess archetype.

@Reblod flag

I completely forgot that people wouldn't know about that
Well that was silly
I'll add something if I find the time

@CW-BornConfuzzledLeftILoveYa

Overall,great character, could use some more detail,though.

How did she get the claw marks? If she is an angel, why does she have talons? Please add some more detail on her race. And a drawing is SUPER helpful. Even if it's just a crappy sketch that your 13 year old nephew did or something that you doodled in bed, please give some sort of referneces.

@Missilekid

I thought it was amazing, I do agree with the others but I feel like we can get caught up in the bad things. Your character is amazing and I would really like to read about her some day and how she would fit into a story. A drawing would be good but then again, I know how frustrating it it :)