I´ve been writing a story in my spare time and would love some reviews, since they´re so sparse I can´t tell if I´m doing better each chapter in terms of storytelling, plot and grammar (not a native English speaker). Please do mind the tags at your own risk.
https://archiveofourown.org/works/11520747/chapters/25857843
I've only read the first chapter so far, but so far, I think your writing is really good! There was a few things that I noticed, however. In your first line, it should be "stars" instead of "starts."
Also, I kinda feel like everything that you wrote before the man going into the bar kind of dragged out a little longer than needed. It's good writing, so I don't think it should be scrapped completely but when people start reading a story they want to be reading a story, not a big info dump. I think maybe you could either use that part as a prologue or maybe just edit it down a bit.
Other than that though, your writing seems to be pretty good. I'll try to finish reading later when I have more time.
Thank you, I have next month off as I´ll be switching jobs so I´ll be editing the earlier chapters and separating those into a prologue and the actual chapter 1. The beginning is a year old so don´t be surprised if the writing style starts changing, I´ll also update the first chapters on that.
I would love it if anyone else would give my story a go, I´m on ch14 and editing the older ones (they´re a year old and my writing developed as the chapters went by)