Heyo! My children, my babehs. Critiques are appreciated and encouraged!
Scarlett: Scarlett Arielle Lyon
Roane: Roane Hyssop Ward
Laura: Laura Heck
Emma: Emma Florence Lyon
Cole: Cole Koshi
Clara: Nia Wisteria Ward
Anthony: Anthony Ross Rare
Angelo: Angelo Hollyhock Ward
Andrea: Andrea Magnolia Ward
Alexa: https://www.notebook.ai/plan/characters
I think you need to update your children to public - I'm getting permission errors!
ah, just changed it! Oops :P Thanks!
I'll do a few I i'm able to!
First, Scarlett! Very good explanation of her looks! That really helped me picture her better! Her mannerisms are good too, but I think you can add a few more things. Like, how does she speak to others? What does she do with her hands when she has nothing to do? Does she bounce around when she's happy? Mannerisms go a lot deeper than the few things she does when she's angry or nervous. In her flaws, you say she thinks she isn't as good as Emma. Tell us who Emma is. Tell us why she thinks Emma is better than her! Hmm, her background is a bit ehhh. Explain more! Tell us why she is the way she is. Was there any major childhood things that made her that way? Did she have any siblings? Pets? Did she want any? Did she have any other friends? How were her parents to her? So many other things you can put! Background also goes a lot deeper than most people think!
I might do some more, but I have to go!
Ok, I'll do another one!
Now, Roane! First, you said his gender is 'man' xD that made me laugh, you should probably put 'male' instead lol. I also think he is a bit underweight. If he is 6'1 he should be somewhere around 160-200 pounds, and up in the higher parts of it if he is buff! You say his eyes are black, like, straight up black? I think you should probably say something like deep brown because people that appear to have black eyes just have a lot of melanin in their eyes. It appears black at a distance, but really it is just dark brown! Unless that is possible in your story's world, then go ahead! Give him black eyes :D. I have the same thing to say about him with the mannerisms! Add more! His motivation is to find his siblings, where did they go? What happened to them? How long have they been gone? Elaborate please! Ahhh! Give him more flaws! One flaw does no good to a character and makes them seem like just that, a character! You want them to seem like an actual, literal human! Flaws, prejudices, and mannerisms do just that! You say he has no political beliefs, which I find hard to believe. People his age tend to have STRONG political beliefs! Some people say to base their political beliefs on how liberal minded they are! I find that a good way to go about it :D Ohhh red flag! His background is basically bare!! I tell this to a lot of people so don't feel bad. Tell us, how did he feel about his siblings? What do you mean by a 'nuclear family?' Why did he drop out of college? Any major childhood events that made him the way he is?
Anyways, hope I helped and good luck with your story and characters!
Okey-dokey, just updated some stuff that not even /I/ knew! :) Hope you can review my other characters :P
For Scarlett:
I love the eye color description!! Can you make the hair the same way?
Elaborate more on the skin tone.
For mannerisms, explain what makes her nervous, mad, happy, etc. What do you mean by verbal assault? Maybe give an example?
What do you mean by weathering the bad days?
For flaws, explain what how reckless, like how she brushes with death. Is it her protecting her friends? Is it her not listening to advice? Or is she an adventure seeker and doesn't think about the consequences? Explain her relationship with Emma, why does she think she isn't as good as her? And what kind of good? Is she jealous of her looks? Smarts?
Is there a story behind her hatred for gossipers?
I love that you use Myers-Briggs!! I do the same thing! Just remember not to make them stereotypical to the type. That's really easy to do.
why does she want to be a sketch artist? Sketching wasn't in her hobbies!!!
Ohhh ok, so Emma is her twin that makes sense now. Are they identical or fraternal?
Explain how her mother's assumed absence affected her as a person, and how it affected her relationships with her sister.
Be careful not to fall into the stereotype of ADHD, that's easy to do too.
Other than that this character is great!! Hoped this helped!!
For Roane:
Describe hairstyle more. Is it a buzz cut or is it something else?
Elaborate on the body type
What makes him nervous, mad, etc.?
Is there a reason in his history that he has something against alcoholics? Is it anybody who is drunk at that point in time or somebody who is constantly drinking?
Is he arrogant around everybody or only around certain people?
What causes him to become manipulative? Is it justified?
Does he over-analyze people when he figures them out? Is he a people watcher?
Once again I love the Myers Briggs it helps me tremendously
What was his major in college?
Elaborate on his backstory a whole bunch. If he is looking for his siblings, where did they go?
@childoftheuniverse Okey-dokey I updated them a bit more! Thank you so much for critiquing them :)
No problem :)