forum Is my villain good?
tune

people_alt 16 followers

@WriteOutofTime

I'll admit, I don't understand her at all. She doesn't even seem like a person. Why is so much about her unknown? These things should be know to you even if the people in the story don't know it. I'm seriously confused. why do you know her eye color but not her hair or skin? Why don't you know her mannerisms? She needs at least a few; everyone has some. Peeling her nails, tugging at her clothing, yawning when she's bored –anything! Also, her motivation is vague. How does her past motivate her? Is she doing things out of spite? Hatred? Vengeance? Her flaws are a bit off, too. There's nothing inherently wrong with being sassy. That's not really a flaw. Her talents and hobbies are extremely dehumanizing. You may as well have put "she just loves villaining" because that's all i'm getting from the talents and hobbies. The worst villains have things they care about, things they enjoy outside of "being evil", things that humanize them. And of course, her personality type is just "manipulative murderer". Yikes.

Here's a few pointers! (Because I used to get this wrong all the time myself.)

A villain is a person first, and a villain second. The best villains are relatable and believe themselves to be completely right. Unless your villain is humorous and always calls herself evil ironically, then it's not effective. Let's take a look at a popular villain. If you've ever seen any Marvel movies, then you'll probably remember some of the worst and best villains. I'll compare two: Loki vs Ultron.

Loki: He's manipulative, snarky, and believes humans are inferior to him. So he wants to subjugate earth. If that were it, he'd be super boring, right? However, we can kinda empathize with this guy because in the movie Thor, we see WHY he decides to subjugate earth. We see him grapple with his humanity, forgo his graying morality, and exact his revenge on earth just to spite his brother. We see him evil, sure, but in Thor we see him cry. We see him fall. And instead of trying to kill his brother or exact revenge on Asgard, he hurries over to a place easy to destroy because Thor likes it. So, suddenly, this poised villain with slicked back hair and a crazy look in his eyes makes sense.

Ultron: He's…an evil robot. He wants to destroy things because…he's evil! He bops around, bein' evil and doing evil stuff…and yawn. I'm tired of him. He wasn't an effective villain because he had no real motivation, no real humanity, and his personality went as far as "evil".

See the difference? (I hope you've watched these movies lol otherwise…)

So, in the case of your villain: Flesh her out! Give her real personality, real motivation, real character! Don't think of her as a stumbling block for your protagonist. Think of her as a real, living, breathing human who turned to the dark side because _____.

Now, to finish this off, I've got to commend you on that backstory. A bit confusing here and there, but well thought out, much more so than the rest of the character. Good job.

Good luck! And remember, a Loki beats an Ultron any day!

@WriteOutofTime

Like I said, it's fine if no one in the story knows what she looks like. But you need to know what she looks like, what her hobbies and talents are, etc.

@WriteOutofTime

That seems kinda pointless, but that's fine. As long as you've got it written down somewhere! Just keep in mind what I've said in my critique and make sure she makes sense! Good luck