forum I'll critique characters!
Started by @Suspicious_Reptiles
tune

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@Suspicious_Reptiles

Yeet we're the reptile bois.

*Abram
-Nature
Could you tell me what he does when he’s angry or sad? What does he do with different emotions. You said he leads with his emotions s there must be something there.
-Social
What do you mean he doesn’t have any politics? He must have an opinion on everything. Something he just picked up from the people around him or something he just thinks himself that are right.
-Notes
Ok so I’ve always liked the name Theodore. But when I say it with the rest of the name it sounds kinda stupid but David kinda works.

*Otis
-Overview
Where did he get the nickname Cheeri-o and who calls him that?
-Looks
Could you describe his body type better to me? I don’t really get it.
-Nature
Could you tell me more of his mannerisms? Ya know stuff he does just without thinking.
-Social
Again with the politics. Really it doesn’t mean too much like voting and government politics but more like “How do they view the world? What’s right and wrong to them?”

*Annika
-Overview
Who calls her Butt-Butt and what for?
-Nature
Could you tell me more of her mannerisms? What does she do when she’s excited or bored?
-Social
You know what I’m gonna say. Politics. You said she doesn’t prefer LGBT+ people so maybe she’s conservative?
-History
Her history doesn’t tell us much. Just tell me simple things, like what’s she doing now, how is her relationship with her parents? Things like that.

-Other things
Lol. I’m taller than Abram. TARANTULAS YES BOI I ain’t the only one. Man the pic you used for Abram reminds me of this guy who used to go my school but dropped out. Oh well he was an a**hole who didn’t have a future anyways. I thought for a second that it was actually him. OMG ANOTHER SHORTY BABY I FEEL TALL! 2 out of 3 of your characters. That’s kinda strange due to the fact that it’s the most uncommon eye color. Even if one of the parents had green eyes, it still has a small chance to show up. UKULELE UKULELE UKULELE! I really like your characters. If you play your cards right you could have a really good book with good character on your hands.

@Suspicious_Reptiles

@That_One_Lavender_Owl_that's_into_Sci-Fi
So like ok this character reminds me of myself. Like a bit too much. Doesn't care about politics, same. Curly hair that is in a 'boy' cut, same. Like the only thing we don't have in common is that she's a Gryffindor (Slytherin for the win!) and she has brown eyes.
*Ellen
What do you mean when you say 'possibly agnostic'? Is she still exploring that? Her motivations don't really seem that motivating to me. Maybe look at that. I think you could describe the hair better just to get a better feel of it. Other than those things your character seems to be pretty good.

@Suspicious_Reptiles

@"Write Like You're Running Out Of Time"
*Daso
In his mannerisms you need to tell me what he does when he's excited, or nervous. You said he was a chaser. What is a chaser and how did he get this job? You might want to put this in the notes section or with the job. Does he not know his birthday, or is it something you just haven't really thought about? You don't have to put it, I'm just curious.

@Suspicious_Reptiles

@snowflake_castiel
*Wesley
-Looks
Can you describe his hair and body type better?
-Nature
Can you tell me what he does when he's in different moods? What does he do when he's angry? Does he just shut himself away when he's sad or does he try to get help? Why are justice and revenge his motivations? What is working toward justice for?
-Social
Does he have a religion? Does he have any politics? What does he hunt? You said he was a hunter for his job.
-History
-In his education, you just said 'some collage'. What is he majoring in? Is he still in collage? Can you tell me more about his history? How did he meet his girlfriend? How did her (presumed) death effect him?
-Other Things
It seems like you're trying to hide this character and not give out any information, just the bare basics. It's ok to a little bit too much about a character. I would prefer that over not enough information.

@Hey_Its_Snowy_And_Im_Generally_Confused

@Suspicious_Reptiles Thank you for the critiques, and I haven’t worked out all the details for him yet. One of the reasons for this is that I made him in a day. I’ll try and flesh him out with roleplaying, and I’ll fix what is needed :D Also, I use him for supernatural rps, so for them it’s clear that he’s a demon/monster hunter.

@WriteOutofTime

@"Write Like You're Running Out Of Time"
*Daso
In his mannerisms you need to tell me what he does when he's excited, or nervous. You said he was a chaser. What is a chaser and how did he get this job? You might want to put this in the notes section or with the job. Does he not know his birthday, or is it something you just haven't really thought about? You don't have to put it, I'm just curious.

I explain Chasing and the birthdays in the universe/location since it's pretty in-depth. Thanks for the critique! I'll be sure to add a few more mannerisms.

@Kaloobia

Hi! Is it okay if I give you my guy Tricky? Felipe Alberto Moreno
My main concern: I'm a white girl, trying to represent POC correctly, and I'm a little scared that Tricky in particular might be stereotypical, which is something I want to avoid.
Thanks in advance!

@Suspicious_Reptiles

@Kaloobia So sorry I'm getting this in so late. I really didn't mean to. But for the representation I can't really tell you anything on that. Just make them seem like a real person and don't focus on stereotypes because then you'll make the character awkward trying to avoid them.
*Tricky
What's his weight? It's a good way for people to picture him, and his body type. Talking about body types, what is his? is he muscular and big or weak and puny? Also, what's his eye color? Do you think you could tell me what he does when annoyed? Or confused? Tell me more about how he reacts to different emotions. Is he more mature for people his age? I would think so with him working jobs as a kid. Does he have any opinion on politics? Does he have a favorite Item? Something he can't live without?

@Kaloobia

Hey don't worry about it! Critiques usually take time so I knew to be patient, it's fine :-)
These are all good questions, in fact I feel a bit silly because a lot of them are actual categories that I simply neglected to fill out. The maturity thing is interesting, I hadn't thought of it.
Thanks for your time! :-)

@Suspicious_Reptiles

@Kaloobia again so sorry this is so late. I should have focused on him instead of procrastinating. again, so sorry
*Leo
Can you add more mannerisms? Because this doesn't give me a lot of info. What does he do when he's angry or sad? Does he just not have a religion? How is ambition and being independent flaws? I mean I would understand if he was overly ambitious but I just assumed it more around a healthy amount.Could you describe his body type better?

@Kaloobia

Hey it's alright, real life happens, I'm no stranger to procrastination myself :))
I suppose I did mean overly ambitious, it's to the point where he might ignore other aspects of his personal life to get what/where he wants. I could definitely specify his mannerisms, yeah, as well as religion.
Thanks again!