@WriteOutofTime
Hi, I'm not sure if I'm at all accurate so i'd really appreciate critiques or suggestions. thanks!
Hi, I'm not sure if I'm at all accurate so i'd really appreciate critiques or suggestions. thanks!
Okay so, first thing is his role: why does everyone fear him? That's sort of skeevy, especially with both an autistic and multiracial character. I love his hair, but how else does he keep it - long, short, more of an afro or clipped close? You also say he's twitchy - is he stimming, does he also have a problem with ADHD (which is often comorbid with autism, just saying), is he overstimulated and fidgeting out of desperation? How else does he stim - flapping hands is pretty common, along with rocking and toe walking, but every person is different.
You don't describe the Trader's cause - how does that affect how he sees the world? Is it all black and white, does he have trouble understanding the nuances that could make someone not believe in the cause? Why does he want to make it above ground?
Why does he look hostile - does he have trouble with facial expressions and making correct ones for the social situation? How badly does he stutter? Is he prone to echolalia - repeating things to himself or certain words because of how they sound and get "stuck" on the word? What do you mean by "sometimes a pushover" and how does he handle conversations that he has to endure? Does he get frustrated with himself and not talk, so people think he's going along with what they're saying? Does he not like to speak up for himself due to the stuttering?
His talents and hobbies look alright, but could stand to use a bit more detail explaining what he does, exactly, for people who aren't familiar with the 'verse. I do love his personality type - it's good to see autistic characters with empathy and not cold, unfeeling robots! But you really, really want to stay away from words like "mildly autistic", which is not something a person in the community would use for themselves. Instead you could use "on the autism spectrum", which covers people ranging from those who need daily assistance to those who do not, but are still affected by their autism.
I love that he likes to eat weird combinations of food together - is that a stim? What sort of food textures does he enjoy? Is there some he cannot stand? There's also nothing wrong with his background - it's interesting! - but you could add a bit more detail to it. What relatives is he staying with now? Why does he still want to make his parents proud? (though, you could also add that to his motivations!)
Overall, I think you have a pretty solid character without falling into many of the common cliches and tropes, but he could stand to use a bit more detail. Sorry for the rambling, but I hope some of this helps you out! ^^;
Thank you!!! you helped so much. :D
The following keyboard controls are supported across Notebook.ai. All keyboard controls are disabled when editing a document or notebook page.