forum Hey guys I need major help
Started by Deleted user
tune

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Deleted user

Hey, I'm Meadow and I need help critiquing my story. I feel like the characters are cringy and fake even though they have so much backstory, same with the plot. Now so that you're not completely lost here's the plot. I have plots for four books down but, I haven't written the books yet.

Magic: This story takes place in a world that's just like ours with our same technology but, magic exists but is only extremely rare.
Everyone has one of the three genres of elemental powers earth, fire, sky, and within these genres, each person gets one ability, they just don't know it because it takes higher magic to unlock these skills.
There are also three Amulets that represent each of the major races of carnivorous animals. Wildcat, Wild dog, and Wild bird. There are Keepers who influence the owner and help them make decisions on what would be best for the world. These amulets have disappeared and appeared at random throughout time. With this power, you could unlock your Elemental powers. Even though such a power looks like a great blessing-
they're a curse.
When the Elemental powers start to change and the advantage is given to the enemy, who's Elemental Genre is the biggest of them all, sky. They discover that there was a guardian looking over the Amulet powers and Elemental powers, balancing them out.
(This was copied and pasted off of my universe.)

Book one: Untold Secrets of the meadow: Death In the Moonlit Shadows
Drama, action, mystery

Ember and Hunter find the WildCat Amulet and the Wild-Dog Amulet to fight against Raven, a supervillainess who only wants destruction and chaos. With the Amulets comes a Keeper or a Giver, (Idk what I'm gonna call them in the end.) a kitten-sized version of the animal the Amulet is based on. They give advice for what is good for the world and help their owner in times of need. Ember dawns the name Ocelot because that's her aniaml and she's not creative at all. Hunter becomes Rouge Coyote.
A new villain rises up, wanting the destruction of Ember's superhero self. His power is none of the Amulets but something even more powerful. He can wield all the Elemental powers and Shapeshift. He goes by Shadowed Revenge. (Yeah, I couldn't think of anything else.)
In their civil lives, they have no idea who the other heroes and villains are. They're just a group of friends who all have their histories. When Hunter's best friend starts acting off he investigates.
With the battles getting more intense they start loosing hope. One day Raven approches them and reveals she's been being used and now understand what chaos she has created and is willing to team up with Ember and Hunter to defeat Shadowed Revenge. She stays true to her word and they almost defeat him. Until Ember gets the shit knocked out of her. Her mask get's ripped off and Shadowed Revenge stops. Hunter has no effect on her real self because he's a theroist.
Turns out Shadowed Revenge was James, Hunter's best friend. In a battle a rogue flaming arrow killed his older sister. He sought revenge blah blah blah. He turns good again.

It'll be awesome if one of you could take some of your time to read and critque what I have written that'll be amazing! There is TONS more story to this and i'm too lazy to write four book plots in one post.

Story link:

You can look at each of the characters' backstory with this universe link: