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forum Critique opening scene?
Started by @p3ncil
tune

people_alt 11 followers

Deleted user

So far, so good. The first line is catchy. The protagonist is interesting. The aesthetic is fluid.

I personally like to spend some time getting to know the characters involved before they're put in peril. Makes me feel the protagonists loss more acutely. Zachary is a good example. From what I read, he's a stoic, no-nonsense, athletic sort. When there's a scream from the direction Zachary went, I'm sad to think of this protector potentially cut down in his prime. Because there's less backstory for the other brother, I'm not invested in his safety.

But like you said, it's a short snippet. Ultimately promising!