forum Critique of my protagonist pleasseee?

Started June 06, 2019 by Rory

tune

Here she isssss

Before I begin: My critiques are usually very negative, but from reading the information about your character I think that what I know of the story and Ivy herself sound really cool. The whole ‘cabaret dancer in the big city’ is always a good read. Don’t get me wrong, I do like this character a lot. But, there are a few things I noticed about her that I was thinking about. Starting with the looks (perfect thing to start with for a vain character), her BMI. Even for a performer who cares about her appearance, Ivy has a low BMI. Especially being 24, someone who is 5’6 (which, even though you said it was, is not petite by most standards) will not be 100 lbs. I am a dancer myself, and some of the girls I know are very thin and boyish. Yet their BMIs do not go lower than about 18. A healthy BMI is from 18.5 to 24.9. With Ivy’s measurements, she would have a BMI of 16.14. This is underweight. When I was 100 pounds I was 10 and maybe 5’3. For a grown woman, and a particularly active one, this could pose health risks. Unless you write about her being underweight or even a struggle with gaining weight, it is unrealistic to think that someone like Ivy is 100 pounds. Next, the flaws. As you have shown, Ivy is vain and materialistic. One thing about flaws is that they go hand in hand with positive traits. If a character is self-absorbed they are most likely confident. If a character is greedy then they may be good at managing funds. One example I gathered from your character was how she wants to be successful and cares a lot about herself. Because of this, it makes sense that she is confident. With the info I am given, this is all that I could think of. I enjoyed learning about Ivy and I hope I could help you!
-redplanet