forum Critique my story?
Started by @jaethena
tune

people_alt 2 followers

@rot-baby-rot!

So far (I haven't read the entire thing) it seems really good. One note though:

"It was quiet inside the cottage, save for a young girl humming with voluminous, matte black hair as she hung bundles of herbs to a beam above the hearth."

This makes it sound like her hum has voluminous, matte black hair. Instead you could say

"It was quiet inside the cottage, save for a young girl with voluminous, matte black hair humming as she hung bundles of herbs to a beam above the hearth."