@Socially_Awkwardy_Butterfly
I'm new to writing and I'd like to know if there is anything I could do better.
So if anyone could read this first chapter of my story and tell me what I could do better then I thank you.
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Anima Classifications and Their Meanings
Anima are animal links to one's soul as well as the magic that dwells within almost everyone. There are several different magical classes that are sorted into two categories: Light Energy and Dark Energy. Light Energy magic is classified by it’s healing and helpful nature, while Dark Energy magic is classified for its destructive and mischievous nature.
The Light Energy category consists of magic pertaining to that of Light, Ice, Healing, Emotion, Earth, and Water.
The Dark Energy category consists of magic pertaining to that of Dark, Metal, Destruction, Mind, Fire, and Electricity.
Casts
The magical abilities and the capacity of magic storage of an Anima determine the cast that it is in.
The stronger Anima forms are towards the top tiers and the weaker towards the bottom tiers and those with no Anima are just dubbed Lessers.
You can usually tell what tier an anima is in by its size.
5’ and up - First tier
3’ - 4’11’’ - Second tier
1’ - 2’11’’ - Third tier
11’’ and under - Fourth tier
The animal that anima forms into is a representation of the personality of their holder. The colorings and markings of the anima are a visual representation of what powers they possess.
Lessers
It is rare, but sometimes people are born without or lose their anima. Those with no anima are left with a feeling of incompleteness and sadness for the rest of their lives.
Some Lessers are born without anima while others get separated from them due to using too much magic and draining their anima, their anima getting killed, or having them taken away due to them being a danger to themselves or others with that anima.
Elliott sighs and puts down the book looking at the cover one last time. The Complete History of Anima By Keith Addo. “I don’t think I’m a Lesser. Am I?” He softly notes to no one in particular. He stands up running a hand through his hair stopping when he hits a hard bone-like structure that reminds him why he is no longer allowed outside. Elliott walks to the nearest bookshelf and puts the book away before heading to the bathroom. He glances in the mirror putting a hand on the bony structures. “They’ve gotten longer,” he mutters quietly to himself. Two small white antlers sat perched in his curly snow colored hair. His baby blue eyes scrutinizing himself with a look of despondency. “Why couldn’t I be normal like my Papa had wanted?” His eyes filled with tears as he thought back to the night he first came here.
“Come on Elliott, just a little longer.” A woman with fiery red hair and forest green eyes urged him.
“Bu’ momma, fee’ hur’.” The woman looked at the child with a soft smile and apologetic eyes.
“I know my little buck, but we need to go just a little farther then you can rest.” She explained softly. Elliott nodded and followed his mom until they saw a light. “Just a small bit more dear. We can ask to stay there and then we can find somewhere safer tomorrow, okay?” the child nods and follows her up to the door watching while she knocks.
“WHERE IS THE FREAK?” Both heads turn around to see a large man running towards them. Elliott’s mother shoves him into the bushes.
“Hide here, I’m going to distract him.” Elliott nods watching his mother run off the man still chasing her.
After Elliott could no longer see his mother he turned back to the door which was now opened. two kids and a man stepped out, peering into the darkness as Elliott held his breath. “Hello?” the man shouts into the darkness, startling Elliott inadvertently making him rustle the bushes he landed in. All three heads whip to look at the source of the noise. Elliott pushes himself further into the bushes, curling up, and trying his best not to be seen. The man puts the kids behind him protectively before approaching. The man pulls back the bushes revealing Elliott, shaking and crying in fear. The man's expression of masked fear turns to something softer that Elliott didn’t understand at the time. “Hey, it’s okay.” The man’s voice soft and warm compared to his papa’s way of speaking. “I’m not going to hurt you. My name is Keith Addo, this is Annabelle,” He gestured to the girl who gave a small smile and wave. “And this is Benjamin .” he gestured to the boy who gave him a wide grin. “You must be freezing, please come inside and get warmed up.” The man, Keith, held out a hand, which Elliott cautiously grabbed and followed the trio inside.
“-lliott? Elliott? ELLIOTT?” Elliott is shaken back to reality, he was now curled into a tight ball, hugging his knees. “Are you okay?” Elliott looks up to the gentle voice and is met by red braided hair, emerald eyes, and freckles.
“Anna?” Elliott looks at her confused, his accelerated breathing not unnoticed by Anna. His eyes then darted to her pink and purple wolf-like anima who had the same concerned expression as her holder. “Dremur? You are s-supposed to be at school.”
Anna shook her head. “School ended a few minutes ago, we just got home.” She said in a soft calming voice.
“N-no, th-th-that can’t b-be right, there w-were a few hours u-until you ha-ad to come home,” Elliot said panic seeping through his voice while he desperately tried to sound normal.
“Benny! I need help!” She calls over her shoulder before turning back to Elliott and using a much softer tone noticing his breathing getting even faster. “Hey, it’s okay. It’s safe here.” A tall brunette boy with wavy chocolate hair and stormy grey eyes rounds the corner a black leopard with icy blue spots following behind him, worry and protectiveness laced in both their features. “Benny, thank goodness. I don't know how to help and I don’t want to read his mind to calm him down.”
“Leopold, door please,” Benny commands, sitting on the floor as he started to comfort the boy whispering reassurances in the younger boys ear while Leopold guarded the door. After a few minutes, it seemed to have worked, Elliott had fallen asleep in Benny’s arms. The older boy smiles softly at the younger. Benny stands and carries Elliott to his room, gently placing him on the bed and closing the door with a soft click.
Benny walks to where he left Anna and sees her sitting on the floor her anima sat next to her, her tail reassuringly wrapped around Anna’s back. Benny sighs and kneels down next to her placing a hand on her shoulder. “Hey, are you okay?” Anna just shakes her head. Benny opens his arms for a hug which Anna gladly accepts burying her face in his shoulder. “Did you see?” Anna nods.
“I didn’t mean to. His emotions were so strong and his mind was so open. It pulled me in.” Her voice laced with confusion and worry. “He was thinking about her, his mother, the night we found him, and he thought about him.” she spits out the last word as if it was venom.
“He seems to think a lot about that night, a lot about him. Should we ask him about it?” Benny inquires trying to mask his anger at the mention of him.
Anna shakes her head. “You know he doesn’t like when I read his mind without his consent. It would only make him more frustrated and worried than he already is.” Benny nods in agreement before standing.
“I’m going to town for a little while to grab some food for dinner, can you make sure he has sweet dreams, he doesn’t need any more stress today.” Anna nods walking off to Elliott’s room as Benny makes his way to the door looking back one last time before he leaves.
“Benjamin,” The neighbor greets loudly. The old man was sitting in a rocking chair with his white cloud bloodhound anima, Patches, snoozing nearby. “Off to town ol’ sport?” Benny smiles nodding to the man.
“Yes sir Mr. Harris, I have to pick up some food for the house, we are almost out,” Benny replies to his neighbor, he was the only one that knew about Elliott other than he and his sister.
“Be careful son, they found a hybrid in town, they plan on making a show of him.” Mr. Harris frowned. “He was hiding out in the old sawmill. A shame what they do to ‘em, they are just people like us tryin’ to live in this cruel world.” Benny smiled a sad smile at the old man.
“I wish more people saw the way you do,” he said with a half-hearted chuckle.
“Yeah, me too boy. Anyways they said they are heightening security, doing random house checks and such, so, be careful with that little buck of yours.” The old man's face held a concern and sympathy that was rare to find. Benny heeded his words and left for the market as he thought back to the bathroom incident and him.
Elliott has been having a lot of dreams about him recently according to Anna. He ruined Elliott’s life. Even though Elliott doesn’t talk about it much Anna has accidentally seen more than enough to know that he is a terrible man. Anna knows more than she is letting on and I can’t help but wonder what she’s not telling me. Elliott calls him Papa whenever he wakes up screaming. With how we found Elliott I know his so-called Papa had to have been-
“WATCH OUT!” A man yells. Benny is snapped out of his trance just in time to dodge a fast-moving buggy. The man parks the buggy jumping off running to Benny and Leo. “I’m so sorry, were either of you hurt?”
“No sir, we’re both fine, right Leo?” The leopard purrs in agreement nudging Benny’s hand. Benny looks around the man seeing his anima, a rocky brown and white mule.
“That’s good.” the man sighed in relief “I’m sorry again, he just got a little spooked is all. I don’t know by what though.” the man scratched the back of his neck nervously chuckling.
“It’s alright. Do you know where the market might be? They tend to move quite often.” Benny smiles at the man. The man’s face lights up at the opportunity to help.
“Yeah, I can take you there if you’d like.” Benny nods and follows the man over to his mule-drawn buggy. Benny hops in back, patting the seat for Leo who leaps up not a moment later. The man takes his seat in front of him picking up the reigns and telling his anima to go to the market.
“So I never did ask your name,” Benny states casually, trying to make conversation.
“Oh,” the man chuckles, “I’m Ramond, Ramond DeClair. What’s your name?”
“My name is Benjamin Addo, it’s nice to officially meet you Mr. DeClair.” Benny smiles. Ramond scratches the back of his neck chuckling.
“You can just call me Ramond, you don’t have to be so formal.” Benny nods even though he knows Ramond can’t see him.
“Your last name,” Benny starts thinking carefully.
“Yeah?” Ramond inquires curiously.
“It sounds kind of… foreign? You're not from here are you.” Benny questions himself trying to find the right words. Ramond shoots Benny a quick smile over his shoulder.
“Yeah, I actually moved here not too long ago. I used to live in Malbrook. It’s north of here in the state Zhayshire.” Benny looked surprised, Malbrook was known as a city filled with lessers, hybrids, poor folk, and jam-packed with criminal activity. He didn’t think many pleasant people came out of Malbrook.
“Well let me welcome you to Ingnard and our little city of Syleon.” Benny greeted him, a wide smile making its way to his cheeks.
“Thank you, Ben, most people hear I’m from Malbrook and make terrible assumptions.” Ramond suddenly stops the buggy. “Well, here we are, the market. Be careful kid, not everyone is as kind as you.” Benny nods at Ramond before he speeds off.
After a few hours Benny had three bags and almost everything he needed when he hears yelling from a nearby crowd, naturally, he runs towards the commotion. Benny pushes his way through the crowd to see what everyone was shouting at, what he found appalled him. In the middle of the crowd was a young hybrid not much older than Elliott by the looks of him. Unlike Elliott though, this hybrid had large white wings on his back instead of antlers and chocolate brown hair. The boy was tied to a post his back facing out as people threw rocks at him. Finally, a man stepped in and stopped the barrage of stones and spoke to the people. “People, People, These hybrids have for years have tainted our DNA with their filth. Earlier today we found this abomination hiding in the old sawmill on the other side of town. We will make an example of him to show the hybrids that we will no longer tolerate their sad excuse of an existence on our planet.” The man pulls out a knife and turns on the now crying, pleading boy. He plunges the knife into the base of one of the wings, sawing until it falls off while the boy screams. The crowd throws insults at the boy calling him a monster, a disgrace. Benny looks at the boy knowing that the only monsters here was this crowd of malicious people and the man who was causing this boy so much pain. The man pulls back the bloody knife and watches the blood trickle down the young boys back. Benny watches the sight in horror imagining what they would do if they ever got ahold of Elliott. In a flash, wings were replaced by antlers and brown hair with familiar snowy curls. Leo paces back and forth anxious to help the unknown boy. Benny watches as the boy passes out and the man grabs the wing holding it as if it was a trophy, it made him sick. Benny forces his way out of the cheering crowd running home, not bothering with anything he may have forgotten to grab.
He slams the door behind him when he enters, inadvertently startling Anna and Elliott who were now in the living room. Benny drops the bags in the kitchen before walking over to Anna and Elliott. “Anna, we need to talk.” Benny’s voice shook as he tried to contain his anger and disgust. Anna just nodded before turning to Elliott.
“Elliott, could you start putting the food away, we will be out to help in a little while.” Elliott nods running out to the kitchen. “What happened?” Anna lowers her voice.
“See for yourself,” Benny declares his voice darker than he meant. Anna nods and places a hand on either side of his head. Benny closes his eyes and focuses on the memory of what happened in the market. After a few minutes, Anna releases him and stares in shock from what she witnessed.
“Why? How… how could they be so cruel?” Anna has tears prickling her eyes as does Benny.
“Mr. Harris said they’d be doing random house checks too.” Benny whispers “We can’t leave Elliott alone in this house… I’ll stay here when you go to school.” Anna shakes her head at Benny’s plan.
“The school will notice if you're not there all the time, then they would send someone, same with me. They’d also find it suspicious if we were there one day, gone the next, and back again the next.” They both sit in silence for a moment thinking.
“Is there a way to hide his antlers?” Benny questions. Anna shakes her head again.
“They’ve grown too much. It’d be too noticeable under a hat.” They both sigh. Benny suddenly lights up.
“What about Mr. Harris? He already knows about Elliott, and they both seem to enjoy each other's company especially after mom and dad…” Benny trails off frowning slightly, he quickly shakes it off and starts again with a renewed smile. “He could watch him while security is up and when it calms down Elliott can stay here again.” Benny voiced, his excitement was almost contagious. Anna smiles and thinks about it before she nods.
“We would have to ask him, but it sounds like the safest option. Come on, for now, let's help Elliott with the groceries you didn’t put away.” she shoves his shoulder playfully before walking to the kitchen.
Anna knocks on Mr. Harris’s door. “Mr. Harris?” the door opens to reveal the kind, old man. The man smiles at Anna.
“Ah, little miss Annabelle Addo. What do I owe the pleasure?” Mr. Harris questions, eyes sparkling with curiosity.
“Well we, Benjamin and I, were wondering if you could watch over Elliott for us while we are at school,” Anna carefully responds. “It will only be while the surprise searches are happening if that’s okay with you of course.”
The older man looked thoughtful for a moment before his sparkling eyes lit up again. “That would be perfect young Annabelle, while you and your brother are away at school, maybe I could teach him here just like old times.” Anna smiled at Mr. Harris as he spoke. Mr. Harris loved to tell them stories when they were children and Elliott had loved listening to the old man as he spun tales of the mythical Ancient Animas and unbelievable places that you could hardly imagine.
“Thank you, Mr. Harris.” Anna smiled brightly. “I’m sure Elliott will be excited to stay with you.” Mr. Harris smiled back at her. “I’m sorry to cut this so short but I should get back to my brothers before they make a mess of everything.” Mr. Harris nods bidding her farewell as Anna gently shuts the door.
“Elliott, Benny, I’m back,” Anna yells entering her home. She hears a loud crash from the kitchen and jumps, Dremur starts to growl as footsteps approach us. Out of the kitchen, a paler than usual Elliott runs to Anna leaving white tracks behind him. Dremur stops growling and sniffs the pure white boy only to sneeze.
“Hey Anna, guess what we did?” he asked his face stretched in a wide grin.
“Destroy the kitchen?” she asks with a chuckle. Elliott shakes his head a cloud of white dust forming around him.
“Benny tried to teach me how to make cookies, you know the ones with the chocolate bits in them, but he spilled the flour all over us ‘cause he picked it up wrong.” Elliott paused for a moment before lighting up again. “Wanna make cookies with us?”
“I’d love to make cookies with you guys.” Anna smiled and patted the boy's dust-covered head. “But first you need to be cleaned up a little bit then I have some exciting news.” she watched as Elliott raced off to the bathroom, she smiled to herself. She cautiously walked towards the kitchen. Maybe it won’t be as bad as I think. She rounded the corner to find that it was indeed not as bad as she thought, it was much much worse. Flour was all over the floor, partially melted butter dripping off of the counter, and Benny pitifully trying to clean up a spilled bottle of milk with a flour covered Leo helping lap it up as well.
Anna only had one question. “How?” Benny whips his head to face his baffled sister.
“Anna,” He nervously chuckles shooting a smile at his clearly ticked sister. “H-hey, So… um… before you get mad… I… uh… I swear, it was… Elliott?” Anna shakes her head, even Dremur looked exasperated at the obvious lie. Anna takes a breath and composes herself before confronting Benny and the kitchen.
“Elliott is in the bath cleaning the flour off of himself. You and Leo are banned from the kitchen without supervision after you help clean up.” Benny nods as Leo growls in agreement. Anna walks to the closet pulling out some cleaning materials.
By the time Elliott is out of the bath the kitchen is almost completely clean. He skips over to Anna with wide excited eyes. Anna pauses her sweeping turning to the doe-eyed boy.
“Can we make the chocolate cookies now?” He asks with a wide toothy grin. Anna nods at the overly excited boy. Elliott, Anna, and a highly supervised Benny make cookies. Elliott definitely didn’t slip Leo and Dremur cookie batter when Anna and Benny were not looking, and if the kitchen ended up destroyed again it was in no possible way Benny's fault.
Once they were finally flour covered and almost as hot as the cookies they stopped. Elliott turns to Anna a thoughtful look woven in his features. “Anna?” Anna looked at the seemingly anxious and puzzled boy with an acknowledging hum. “You said earlier you had some important news, didn’t you?” remembrance flashed through Anna’s mind.
“Yeah, I did. I was wondering how you would feel if when Benny and I went to school, you went to Mr. Harris’s house.” Elliot lit up like a shooting star.
“Yes, yes, yes, yes, yes! Mr. Harris can teach me just like how you learn at school! It’ll be so much fun!” Benny and Anna both chuckled at their younger brother as he continued his rant on all the wonderful things that he and Mr. Harris will be able to do.
He really is something, isn’t he? Anna hears Benny’s voice in her head. She looks overseeing a smile as he watched Elliott's excitement.
He sure is. She smiles. He sure is.