@Reblod flag
This is the beginning of my story. Feel free to be as honest as you like. Unfortunately the formatting gets a bit eradicated when it's pasted here.
Louise’s muscles ached and quivered. Metal screeched against metal as she struggled against the sword pinning her down. The elf brandishing the sword bared his teeth in a grim smile. He knew he would win. He relented against Louise’s meek defence only to bring the sword down over and over. Louise groaned under the assault. She stumbled and fell to her knees, her wings falling limply to her sides. Blood from a wound she couldn’t feel dripped into her eyes. The grimacing face of her assailant blurred into redness. She grit her teeth and tensed, waiting for a final blow. It never came. The sudden nauseating warmth of the elf’s blood spraying onto her face made her gag. The now lifeless body crumpled into the dirt. Louise fell forward, drawing breath like it was her last. It nearly had been. She shakily wiped the blood away and squinted upwards. The figure of a human soldier came into focus. He reached forward and pulled her onto her feet.
“Aaryan. I never thought I’d be glad to see you but here I am, glad to see you,” Louise panted.
“Same ‘ere. Thought ye ‘ad gone to the Void, did I,” Aaryan mumbled distractedly.
Louise gazed around at the battle. The heavy stench of blood and sweat tainted the salty air. Steel clashing sung through the tiny glade, nullifying the distant noise of waves breaking on the shore. Blood pooled on the ground and slashed crimson stains on the trees. Corpses lay strewn across the ground. They were mostly humans.
“Orders, Commander?”
Louise’s eyes snapped to Aaryan’s cool brown ones. How he always remained so calm was beyond her.
“Retreat…we have to retreat. We don’t stand a chance.”
“Good t’e see ye ‘ave grown sense over t’e years,” Aaryan grinned and dashed away, no doubt to save more lives. Louise watched him go for a moment before steeling herself and slowly, painfully, lifting her bloodied wings over her head.
“Fall back! Retreat! Everyone, retreat!” Her call rose above the sounds of battle.
The human army backed away, slowly at first then faster. The formidable assortment of elves and ravens shouted their victory, some even chasing Louise’s soldiers as they fled. She managed a sneer, her blue eyes flickering to red. They would suffer for their arrogance. As she turned away reluctantly, an eagle wailed overhead. Her gaze snapped up. It was Ignavess. He swooped down and landed on the ground next to Louise. He clacked his beak, bobbing his head westward. Louise flinched. Another angel was coming.
“I’ll handle the angel, you distract the phoenix,” Louise said to him in Fletan.
She winced as she worked her wing muscles. She never thought she would ever have any difficulty getting off the ground before the war.
A stray raven’s long ears twitched in response to the flurry of wingbeats. He turned to face her with a tooth-filled snarl. Louise nearly abandoned her ascent to engage but she resisted. She needed to save her strength. She glared at him as he approached but she was well in the air before he got too close. The raven growled with frustration, his narrowed stare filling Louise with a sense of dread. It nearly made her freeze and fall back to the earth. She shrieked in fury and tore a knife from its sheath. She flung it down at the raven and it hit its mark with a resounding thud. The raven stumbled, groping at the blade embedded in his chest. Louise watched on as his blood fed the grass. She turned away.
Without the tree-line obscuring her view she could see two figures rapidly approaching. She drew in a deep breath. At least she didn’t recognise them. Ignavess surged past her, changing from an eagle into a giant firebird. He bellowed out a bone-shuddering cry as he bore down on the other phoenix. Louise could feel the breath leaving Ignavess’s lungs as he collided with his enemy. She drew in air sharply and pushed down her concern. He could hold his own just as easily as she could. Her attention was dragged back to the other angel who was now diving towards her with rage twisting his face. Louise grimaced and hesitated before moving into a battle stance. He was so young. His wings were dark brown, that could have passed as black, speckled with bright orange. His honey-coloured eyes burned with hate. Louise understood why.
“Traitor!” He screeched as his body hit hers.
Their metallic talons locked together and Louise wrenched herself around, spinning the angel away from her. She kicked him back, letting herself fall. He followed, plunging straight down, talons outstretched. Louise straightened out, arcing up. She shot upwards with the assistance of her magic, her eyes glowing softly. She looked down at the other angel as he followed furiously. Louise waited until his claw scraped against her boot before she locked her wings to her sides and pushed off the angel. He lost balance and fell. She went with him, snatching one of his arms and yanking him towards her. Louise saw a flash of fear in his eyes as her hand closed around his throat. She resisted shutting her eyes as she tore through the tender flesh of his neck and crunched through the bone. Blood gurgled up into his mouth as the light in his rich brown eyes faded. Louise shoved him into open air. His feathers flickered, changing from brown to white, closely followed by his hair and then his eyes. Ignavess called from behind her. Louise peered around to see the other phoenix turning to ash in Ignavess’s claws. Louise swallowed and beckoned for Ignavess to follow as she left the battlefield to find her army.
