So I'm creating a world with multiple gods that are all real and interact with one another and the mortal world, kind of like greek/roman mythology, and i wanted to see what people think of said gods. they still need fleshing out but i have the basic concepts for them and their interactions. it might take a bit of back and forth the get the full picture, sorry. Anyways, here you go:
Talnai: Talnai
Lilaeth: Lilaeth
Neiha: Neiha
Filorin: Filorin
Myria: Invalid Character
Roni: Roni
Tylus: Tylus
Fyrdiese: Fyrdiese
Myvekim: Myvekim
Viathyrda: Viathyrda
Tukos: Tukos
Kagnus: Kagnus
Siatha: Siatha
This is probably going to be pretty long if you want all of them done xD
- Ok, first with Talnai~
For his race, I don't think god so much as a race, unless your gods all have the same race or that is literally what the race is called lol. Say he is white, or indian, or Filipino, or whatever race you have on your planet. Unless you don't want your gods to have a specific race
Ok for his nature, you only put his personality type. I think fleshing out an putting more than that will really help you and others know the gods better. Of course you don't have to put his favorite color or favorite pet or whatever, just put some flaws, or talents, or prejudices! Same thing for social! Also, I don't think that 'loves his wife unconditionally' belongs in politics.
So for him, I think if you just add some more stuff, you'll have a pretty good God in your hands!
- Now for Lilaeth, love the name by the way!
I like how Lilaeth and Talnai married each other, the Lady of night and Gentle Deaths and the Lord of day and Life. And the same thing as Talnai for race. For indentifying marks, 'Always wearing a black veil' doesn't really belong there. Indentifying marks are more like, 'has a scar on the palm of her hand' or 'has freckles across her face.' I see you put more in her nature then Talnai, but I still think you can put other things like I said earlier. Also I think that when you say she mourns every life she takes, it really puts her personality in perspective so good job to that! And In politics, I don't think that would belong there. Politics would be basically how liberal they are and open to certain things. I think you'd put the gods things in religion too. And what you said would probably be put in backstory. Also, she loves her sister despite what? What would make her possibly hate her sister, but she doesn't? And who is Florin to her? What does he think about her sister?
- Ok for Neiha, lol you said she is a 'giant freaking surpent' but what does she look like? what colors does she have? Does she have any special marks on her? Explain her more so we get a better idea about what she looks like!! On her personality type, you said she 'was gentle and kind before the Ascension.' Whats the Ascension?!? I'd actually really like to know! Put that in there, explain it in her backstory if it happened in the past! That is all what backstories are about, their past, things that built them up to who they are now! And in her motivations, I guess its fine that you say she is content in the ocean, but you said her nature causes her to make storms and destroy ships, what is her nature that causes her to do this?
- Next, Florin; again, just some things that I said with the others about race and all that fun stuff xD. On his motivations you said 'Cares deeply for others though he tries not to let on' But I feel that is more of his personality type than a motivation. Now, I know its hard to find motivations for gods because most of the time they don't have a choice. But maybe you can say 'to protect the people of _____'! Just a suggestion~
- Now, Myria! Also really like the name for some reason. Ohh I really like how you described her hair! I really shows what it looks like with the stars and everything. I like her personality and everything! I think you've got a good goddess so far!!
- Ok, now Roni. I think he is pretty good like Myria! So good job!
I'm going to split this post up into two so that its not supper long and unbearable to read! So here is the first half!
Ok! The next half!!~~~
- First, Tylus! Y'know same thing with the race and all that~ Like I said before, put more than just a few thing and a personality type! Add as much as you can think of! Build your god out like they were a real, living, breathing person with fears and flaws and motivations! It really helps them seem realistic if you do this. Again, I think what you put as politics would be more as their personality or backstory. For politics, put something along the lines of what they believe. Like maybe they think that everyone should be like so and so, or have this. I like that you actually put a background for him! But maybe add a bit more. What were the lands like before the twisted them? how important was his daughter to him? Things sort of like that.
- Fyrdiese! You always seem to explain their eye color so beautifully and I love it! But when it comes to hair color, you explain it so… blandly? Maybe instead of just saying its black, say it's charcoal black and shines brightly during the day. Yay! You gave her some mannerisms lol! And the same thing with politics as the others, the things you put probably belong more in personality type and background!
- Now Myvekim! Ohh I also like his name! Good flaws, motivations, mannerisms. A good god for the most part! Nice!
- Next, Viathyrda! Nice description of her. Like I said early, her politics are more of her personality than politics.
- Ok, Tukos! I like how you said he is 'the weird emo kid of the gods' xD That really explains how he is to them and his personality. Same thing with the politics and the race and stuff.
- Now, Kagnus! I like how the name sounds! I got a pretty decent image of him from the way you explained him! Good job! But again, and a bit more description to his image. Instead of just saying his eyes are brown, say they are tree bark brown or whatever they look like!
- Last, Siatha! I see you don't have much down for here. So i'm assuming either that you haven't finished her, or that is part of the story!
All in all, good job! Just a few things you could work on. Good luck and hope I helped!~ <3
Hey @Celestial-B, thank's so much for your feedback, its really helpful. And sorry for being a little unclear. they all make sense to me but of course i made them, so its good to hear what fresh eyes see. Some quick points: The ascension was the event that turned the nine humans into gods, thousands of years ago, and its pretty relevant to the plot so I've got that contained elsewhere. As for Neiha, she is a larger version of the Drahim, which i have described in more detail elsewhere as well. And yes, Siatha is intentionally kept very vague and mysterious for plot relevance. As for politics, i kept all their interactions with the other gods there simply because there wasn't really anywhere else to put them, but i suppose i can make a custom category. Anyway, thanks for your advice. I'll update them and maybe share them again when they're more complete
