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@Paperok

Meeting Jessica Rhoem changed Paul Fenn's life. Jessica's life was altered as well, perhaps more so, in a much different way. If Paul were a believer in multiverse theory, he would consider the morning of August 22nd to be one of, if not the greatest deciding moment of his future. Overstatement? Possibly. The days before the 22nd were quite awkward for the both…

Thursday, August 18, 2016

11:28 AM.

"Just about everything in this class is physical," Mrs. Indram snapped at Paul he shook off whatever his mind was wandering to and shifted uncomfortably in his chair as she continued to berate him. “If you don’t dress appropriately you won’t be able to get a grade!”

"I don't own any gym shorts," he said for what seemed like the 100th time. He had come to her office during lunch to see if she had any gym shorts he could borrow. Apparently, all she intended to do was growl and lecture.

"Buy some," She took a glance at her watch and stood up, she was a small old woman but in decent shape, donning a tank top and red shorts. "You'll have to sit to the side until you have a pair. And some better shoes," She threw a disgusted look at his flip-flops and socks. "Anything would be better than those," Paul considered hissing at her. the bell rings, he jumped a bit, unadjusted to this school's loud bell. "Get out to the gym." He left her office following the hallway into the gym while enjoying the defiant slap of his flip-flops on the floor.

"I like my flip-flops," Paul muttered. Already, students were flooding through the doors on the other side of the gym going into their respective locker rooms, and changing into gym clothes. Paul, clearly, had no need. The gym wasn't anything fancy, a basketball court some bleachers on two sides and a high ceiling. The rest of his gym class had gathered on the bleachers sitting on the bottom level. There was another class too, a weight training class. they stayed in the lockers and in the weight room for the last few days. Paul sat on the bleachers in between some guy named Tony and a girl named Kihara. Mrs. Indram paced in front of them, calling out names over the general chatter of the other students, he plucked awkwardly at his jeans. The wait for his name to be called always makes him tense. "Paul Fenn."

"Here!" Paul raised his hand. He watched her acknowledge his presence, and continue listing names. He silently regretted wasting the last ten minutes of his lunch coming here. His friend, Logan, was absent, He didn't have anything else to do. Noticing Mrs. Indram coming back out of the office, the thought of making a new friend crossed his mind. One of the doors on the other side of the gym opened. It wasn't the opening of the door that shocked Paul. It was the loud slam that followed behind it. A girl stood in front of the doors, he recognized her, short shoulder length brown hair, a backpack hanging off her left shoulder, she wore a button-up shirt and black jeans. The girl strolled across the basketball court, cocky as can be; then her bag slipped off. Paul stared, expecting the class to explode with laughter as she knelt, picking up some scattered items. A quick look to his left and right revealed that no one seemed to care. he was the only one paying attention, she locked eyes with him. He looked away. She picked up her bag and gives Mrs. Indram a tardy slip. They spoke for a minute, Mrs. Indram seemed to be angry about something, the girl went into the girl's locker room. Mrs. Indram came over to the students "We're going to the track, let's go" There are two things beyond the parking lot in the back of the school, the football stadium and the soccer field beside it. Paul think back to the clumsy girl, was she going to catch up?

"You don't have any gym shorts?" A rather tall boy spoke to him, he shrugged a bit, unsure of what the boy was saying. The boy held his gaze,

"No," I say "I only do jeans," he chuckled, and Paul relaxed some. What a weird conversation. Maybe he could be Paul's new friend, he recalled seeing him in another class. That's at least two classes together! They got to the Football stadium, inside, around the field was the track, six lanes. Mrs. Indram led them onto the track.

"Paul, Jessica, c'mere" Mrs. Indram nearly shouts. Paul made my way toward her and noticed the girl from earlier walking beside him, when did she catch? She is still wearing her black jeans. Mrs. Indram directed them to a tree "sit, don't talk." Paul sat against the tree and watched her line the class up. It took him a moment to notice the girl named 'Jessica' sitting next to him. He glanced awkwardly at her, what did she want? He caught her eye and they stared at each other for a moment

"Do you have any gum?" she asked in a monotone voice. Paul continued staring blankly,

"No."

"Do you have any snacks?"

"No," her face sunk, she scooted away some. Paul watched her for a moment and turned back to the class, they were running around the track.

"It’s the mile run," Jessica was staring at him again, he avoided her eyes. "It's like four laps around the track or something" he nodded, looking up at the almost perfectly blue sky. He preferred cloudier days, not as bright.

"That sounds fun," he said giving her a smile, she wasn't amused.

"How is that fun?" She leaned close, furrowing her brow.

"I was being sarcastic." Paul looks down, eyes hurting from staring at the sun.

"Sarcasm will get you nowhere in life." She scooted back over to him,

"And trying to take other people's snacks will?"

"I didn't try to take your snacks.” She paused, thinking for a moment. “Wait, you have snacks?"

"I said don't talk!" Mrs. Indram yelled at them from the starting line.

"What does she want us to do?" Jessica groaned.

"Wallow in regret" Paul offered with a shrug, there is a bit of silence.

"Let's face away from her so she can't tell were talking," Jessica suggested.

"Why?" Paul asked.

"So we can talk." She replied, already moving. Paul followed her lead, shifting slightly so they were facing the school grounds. Despite what she said, Jessica didn't seem interested in talking, she simply watched her shoes. Paul took this moment to stare at her. she was a conventionally pretty girl: full lips, high forehead, broad face, small chin, and nose, short and narrow jaw, she wasn't skinny or exactly large. Paul felt as if he was supposed to be attracted to her, he wasn't. Perhaps he didn't like her personality, Paul shifted slightly to face her.

"This class is unnecessary," he said

"It's pretty important,” she contradicted, “can't have the next generation being out of shape." Unable to think of a good response Paul closed his mouth. A few minutes passed. "What is your favorite color?" Jessica asked,

"I don't know, blue or something?" Paul shrugged. He caught Jessica staring at him out of the corner of his eye. "What about you,"

"Red," she said, scooting an inch or so closer to Paul. Was she trying to make a move on him? Paul internally cringed at the thought. His mind was doing backward cartwheels while wondering what exactly a backward cartwheel was. This could simply be the way she is, she could simply prefer to be up close while she's invested in a conversation. Another possibility would be she wanted to kiss him. Was Paul flustered? "Are you alright?"

"Yes, I-"

"Quiet over there!" Mrs. Indram yelled again "Keep talking and I will send both of you to the office!" Jessica hmphed at me and smiled, Paul didn't notice himself smiling back. It wasn't like they were friends, it was simply a passing interaction between strangers.

Friday, August 19, 2016

1:15 PM.

Paul's last hour class was on the furthest west building, building 7, he had to make his way there on the covered walkways. The walkways were a system that reached every major location in Raulerson High. Brushing some sweat off his forehead, he cursed the size of the school.

"Paul, wait up!" He turned to see Jessica running up behind him. "You left so fast," She said breathlessly, bending over to rest. He met her the day before, but they had been spending an immense amount of time together since. It was hard not to they had every single class together.

"I didn't have anything to do but to get my backpack," Paul said, "if you want me to wait, all you have to do is ask." Jessica pouted at him and the two continued walking. Paul wasn't sure what was happening with Jessica. She acted as if they had been friends for years. He didn't dislike her.

"You should buy some shorts," Jessica said,

"I will," Paul replied.

"We're starting partner activities next week, I want to be partners with you."

"That's why I should get shorts?" Paul laughed softly,

"You don't want to be partners?"

"I doubt I would be able to keep up with you," Paul teased, recalling how nimble she was when Mrs. Indram had the class running suicides. "You are surprisingly athletic."

"Surprisingly?" Jessica crossed her arms and lowered her head slightly. "I used to play soccer," Paul looked her up and down only half surprised. "I was a forward."

"A forward?"

"That's right." The pair reached the entrance to Building 7,

"What's a forward?" Jessica explained to him what a forward was as they entered Building 7, inside was a hallway and a stairwell. They started up the stairwell as Paul concluded that a forward was essentially a running back.

"You'll be my partner?" Jessica asked, Paul shrugged.

"If I get shorts then yeah." He concluded, Jessica nodded flashing a toothy grin. They reached the second floor, Paul held the door open for Jessica but regretted it when six other people passed through after her. He cursed his act of kindness before stepping into the hallway. Mr. King, their last our teacher's classroom was right beside the entrance. Jessica had already walked inside. Some students had gathered around the entrance and were talking. Paul's twin sister, Crystal, was talking to her boyfriend by the door. Wearing a striped t-shirt and skinny jeans. Her neon purple hair was laid flat on her shoulders. Naturally, his twin was his absolute opposite. Where he was lacking in intelligence and physical activities she has advanced classes and was more fit than some of the boys in their grade. But that didn't matter to Paul, she'd protected him from bullies and such all their lives, so it was good to have her around. She was upset about something, Paul noticed her balled fists at her sides as he approached.

"What are we doing?" she asked. Her boyfriend, Paul gave up on trying to remember his name the moment he'd met the guy, looked down. "What. Are. We. Doing?" She demanded again. Paul snuck past them as she continued. Crystal could be defined as a grown woman stuck in the body of a teenager. Especially when it came to her "romantic endeavors," she acted as if they were already married. Paul entered the classroom and saw that the seats were arranged into groups of four. Jessica was in the group closest to the door, the only person there. She happily waved Paul over. He sat down in the seat next to hers.

"What happened to you?" Jessica asked flipping through her notebook for no apparent reason.

"Got held up being a gentleman," Paul said only half-jokingly. He dug his notebook out from his backpack and placed it on the desk before checking the time on his phone. 1:19 PM. The class was about to start. Jessica was leaning over searching through her bag, Paul watched for a moment as some of the students who were standing outside of the class came inside. She straightened up and turned towards Paul. "Why even bother looking?" he asked. "You already know you don't have a pencil." She played with her notebook paper for a moment before speaking

"Can I borrow your pencil?"

"Yes." Paul opened his backpack, got his pencil pouch and gave her a sharpened pencil. "I should charge you a dollar." He joked

"I have a dollar," she said as a girl sat down across from him.

"Keep it," Paul said, getting a pencil of his own. Jessica prodded her finger with the pencil,

"The pencil or the dollar?" She asked,

"Both." The bell rang, Paul watched as the students made their way to seats. He glanced over at Jessica a few times, she seemed to be writing something onto her arm with the pencil. "That won't work," Paul said. "You want a pen?"

"It's fine." Mr. King started to talk. as per usual, dragging it out. Paul hated when teachers had ten-minute lectures. It was a high school not college, just give him the work and shut up. Paul looked down, tapping a finger softly against his forearm a pang of shame prodding at the back of his mind. Mr. King was explaining the ice breaker the class was going to do as he had forgotten his worksheets. Paul regretted his momentary shame.

"Select personal belongings to help you survive if you were marooned on an island," he said. "Each member of the group must contribute one item," he paces throughout the classroom as he speaks. "You have about ten minutes to select your items and plan how you will survive with the collective supply. Then, each group will stand and explain what they selected and how each object is essential to their survival." The girl across from Paul sunk in her seat at the last part. Paul looks over at Jessica and up at Mr. King, they were the only group made up of three students. "Yes? Taylor?" A girl spoke up,

"Can we use anything as our item?"

"Anything on your person at this very moment," Mr. King said. "Simple enough, isn't it?" No response. "Get to it."

"I have a calculator," the girl on the other side of the table spoke up holding up what looked like a fancy calculator.

"Hey," Jessica said, "what's your name?"

"Doyyanne,"

"Can I call you Anne?"

"You can call me Doyyanne," the girl said. Jessica huffed.

"Well, Doyyanne, a calculator is useless." Jessica explained impatiently. Paul picked up his bag and looked around inside it as Jessica continued trying to convince Doyyanne to pick something else. He ended up choosing his phone and placed it on his desk. Doyyanne looked over

"I think I'll choose my phone too," Doyyanne said. Jessica visibly gave up and went into her bag. "Paul, right?" Paul nodded, "I think we had a class together last year."

"That's cool," Paul said. He looked over at Jessica who was lifting her bag onto her desk.

"I choose my bag," she said proudly. Doyyanne was buried in her phone typing away, Paul nodded.

"Good choice I guess," he shrugged. Jessica whistled softly, a short repetitive tune. Paul was no good at understanding musical notes. After listening closely, he caught three notes, pause three more, four notes. He realized it was the Spiderman theme song. "Spiderman?" He asked, reaching over and tapping her shoulder. She flinched and ducked backward nearly falling out of her seat. The abrupt motion caught the attention of most of the room. "Jessica?" She was staring at him, eyes wide, mouth slightly opened, face pale. "Are you okay?" She got up and rushed out of the classroom. Paul stared blankly at the door as it closed behind her.

"What happened?" Someone asked. Paul looked down at Jessica's bag.

"Is she okay?" Someone else spoke. Had he done something wrong? What could he had possibly done wrong? Was it the contact? He'd touched her before, hadn't he? Had he? Maybe she had to use the bathroom. Maybe. Or maybe he hurt her in some way.

"Hey Paul," Doyyanne said from across the table. "You have to explain why your phone is essential." Paul ignored her, eyes on Mr. King as he picked up the classroom phone. He mentions Jessica Rhoem walking out of class. Was she really that upset? Mr. King got the class' attention onto him and Paul locked eyes with Crystal across the room. He looked back down at Jessica's bag, weren't they friends? He started to put his things into his bag, his notebook, the two pencils the pencil pouch. He zipped up the bag and got up.

"What are you doing?" Mr. King asked as Paul slipped Jessica's notebook into her bag and started towards the door. "Excuse me," he snapped. Paul stopped.

"I'm going to give Jessica her bag."

"Sit down."

"No sir," Paul opened the door and stepped out. As he enters the stairwell and starts making his way down, Paul wondered: what if this had nothing to do with him. He starts trying to think of an excuse for why he left class if he found her. He reaches the bottom of the stairwell and exits Building 7. Looking around, Paul immediately saw Jessica standing outside of the outside bathrooms. He approached her quietly. The closer he got to her, the more she seemed like she was barely standing. She only noticed him when he was ten feet away.

"Paul?" She looked down at the ground as he tried to hand her the bag.

"You left this," he said simply.

"What are you doing here?" She asked, not taking the bag.

"You left this," he repeated. She took the bag from him and set it on her shoulder. Paul stood stiffly,

"I'm sorry," Silence. Jessica stares at him, the same way she was staring at him before she went flying out of the classroom. Expectantly.

"You stare a lot," Paul blurts out. She looks down scratching at her arm. "Hey, Jess," he speaks again. She looks up at him,

"Jess?" She asked, Paul shrugged.

"I don’t know, just, are you okay?" Her eyes drifted back down,

"Yes," she said "I am okay." Paul internally rolls his eyes, he himself had never been a very expressive person. Even with his sister and dad, he never opened up to them, if he had a problem he dealt with it himself. But when he sees someone acting like they can handle themselves but clearly can’t, it aggravates him.

"What's wrong," he asked. Jessica stepped past him and started towards building 7. He stared at her back for a moment before following her. "Hey," he said "What is going on with you?" Paul recalled his thought from before, she was acting close with him, now he was doing the same. He stopped, she didn't seem to notice as she continued. But they were friends, right? He made quick steps, catching up to her. "Jessica!" Grabbing her shoulder, he spun her towards him, she lashes out smacking him in the face. Paul almost falls onto his back, staggering backwards but recovering in a few seconds.

"Paul!" Jessica watched him feel his stinging cheek. "I'm so sorry!"

"No, no its fine," Paul said, "sorry I grabbed you liked that," he said while approaching her again.

"I don't like touching," Jessica said.

"Sorry," it clicked in Paul's head what had happened in the classroom. The shock of him touching her scared her that much, he let out a long breath. Jessica smiled at him. He glanced between her eyes, she seemed nearly apathetic of the last few minutes. "Jessica?"

"Paul?"

"What is going on here?" A man was walking towards them, Paul recognized him from orientation. The dean.

1:34 PM.

Paul came up with a weak excuse on the fly. He told the dean, Mr. Potter, that they'd forgotten what our last class was. He took them to the front office and found out that they had left class. Since the class, and the school day, was almost over Mr. Potter had them stay in the office. The office was small, chairs lining the walls, a man sitting at a desk opposite to the door. Paul noted that the guy must not have cared if they talked, since he didn't object when they sat next to each other. Glancing over at Jessica, he noticed that she was looking down.

“I have snacks,” Paul said quietly. Jessica put her head in her hands.

“My mom will kill me when she finds out,” she said.

"My dad won't care,” Paul said opening his bag. Jessica looked over at him,

"Is he one of those work over children types?" She asked.

"No, he's just really chill," Paul said shrugging his shoulders slightly. “He’d probably just make some jokes about it.”

"That's good?"

"I guess so," he said reaching into his bag. “Do you like potato chips?”

"My mom gets really mad,” She grumbled, unwilling to drop the topic. “She might not let me come to school.”

"What kind of stupid logic is that?" Paul asked, dropping a bag of off-brand potato chips onto her lap. She picks up the bag and looks it over, silent.

"That is disgusting,” she said.

"Fine, you want the Oreos instead?" Paul asked, offering up a small Ziploc with some Oreo cookies inside.

“Yes!” She grabbed them and nearly ripped the Ziploc opening it. Paul considered reaching for the potato chips in her lap. Her earlier reaction on his mind, he decided against it. Jessica, noticing Paul’s silent dilemma, picked up the bag and gave it to him.

1:58 PM.

Jessica and Paul were sharing the potato chips when Mr. Potter walked into the room.

“Where did you get these?” Jessica asked,

“Publix, I think,” Paul guessed. “Makes Lays seem pretty bland doesn’t it,”

“I have to taste them side by side,” Jessica affirmed. “Next week, I’ll bring a bag of Lays and you-”

“What are you two doing?” Mr. Potter snapped. “This is not lunch, the two of you are in trouble,” The two kids stared blankly at him. Jessica chewing as quietly as possible. “Put that away,” Paul tried to pull the bag from Jessica’s grasp, but she swiftly shoved it into her bag. Internally cursing the loss of his afternoon snack, Paul noticed Mr. Potter turning towards the guy at the desk who was busy typing and had hardly cared. Paul liked the desk guy. “Mr. Yuma,” Mr. Potter approached the desk.

“Yes?”

“A word, later,”

“Yes, sir.” Mr. Potter then returned to the kids.

“The two of you will be receiving referrals,” He said. “You are here to get a proper education, not to joke around. If you do not intend to take your education seriously, then do not drag the other students down.” He turned to walk away but stopped. “If I catch you eating in here again, I will confiscate your food,” he left. The two didn’t speak for a few moments.

“Paul,” Jessica spoke up. “Why did you follow me?” Paul looked over at her, she was fiddling with the last button on her shirt.

“I think I want us to be friends,” Paul considered. “Maybe too much, I guess,”

“No talking,” Mr. Yuma interjected.

2:10 PM.

The bell ringing overhead, the two exited the office.

“Where do you go?” Paul asked.

“I walk,” Jessica said. The line of school buses was right outside of the front office, a line of buses. Paul’s bus was at the very front. #33, his house was only four miles away.

“How far?” He wondered.

“Two and a half miles give or take,” Jessica said, starting to follow a crowd headed for the gate by the highway. A woman was standing in front of the gate. Paul heard some of the buses starting to close their doors. He would be late if he waited too long, he would have to walk home. His father, Richard, was still a work at this time and Crystal would be going to her boyfriend’s home. Jessica had vanished into the crowd, what if her home was in the opposite direction of his? Paul took a deep breath and started into the crowd. It took him a few moments to notice the back of Jessica’s head, she was putting ear buds on. Stopping right behind her, Paul noticed the bus at the front of the line drive away, the rest slowly following suit, spreading out through all the varying streets along the highway. Paul’s home was south of the school, he could just walk out onto the sidewalk and take a left without crossing the road. Jessica could be heading in any possible direction but here he was, following her like an obsessive idiot.

“What am I doing?” Paul asked under his breath. The woman blocking the gate waited until the last bus had left before opening it, a police officer walked onto the road to stop the traffic as the group of students made their way onto the street. The majority crossed the street and went on their way, Paul could count on one hand how many students stayed on the same side of the road. Two boys started north, a girl with a bike and Jessica went south. Nothing short of a miracle. Paul watched Jessica, walking at a moderate pace, now he was stalking her. The girl on the bike, speeding off, Paul spoke. “Hey, Jessica,” his voice was almost drowned out by the sound of the traffic. “I didn’t mean to stalk you like this, sorry. I guess I wanted to spend more time with you or something,” he looked down at the sidewalk. Jessica stopped, and Paul almost walked into her. She turned around, reaching into her backpack. Her eyes fell on Paul, he made a small waving motion.

“Hey, Paul,” she took off her ear buds. “I didn’t know you were going to walk,” Paul shrugged noticing his chips sticking out of her bag,

“My chips!” He snatched the chips from her bag.

“Hey!” She tried to grab them away from him, but he cradled them to his chest. “Let’s share,” she offered. Paul considered this and opened the bag.

“Fine,” he took a few as she zipped up her bag. The chips lasted about five minutes. Jessica didn’t try to take the empty bag from him, Paul smashed it up and stuffed it into one of his backpack pockets. They walked in silence, Paul staring straight ahead, he could see the bridge half a mile or so down the road. The bridge, his house was on the other side of the bridge. “Jess,” he said nervously.

“Trying to make a trend out of that?” Jessica asked,

“Do you live on the other side of the bridge?”

“Yeah, why?” Paul’s heart was using his chest as a punching bag. How did he forget about the bridge? His legs were trembling, each step seemed like an impossible task. “Paul,” Jessica said. “Hey, what’s wrong?”

“Nothing, nothing” Paul sputtered.

“Are those chips making you sick?” She asked, “If I get sick, im suing you,” she gave a bright smile making it come off as a joke, but Paul doubts it is one. The bridge gets closer, fast. Jessica was talking about her bra. While Paul questioned her seemingly randomized levels of social comfortability he also considered texting Crystal and pulling an excuse out of his ass. “My mom won’t let me buy a bigger size, she says I’ll have to buy them myself, I don’t get what her problem is!” Paul shrugged in response. “What is your mom like?” The question woke Paul from his daze,

“I don’t know,”

“Oh geez,” Jessica cut him off. “She’s dead isn’t she,”

“Maybe,” Paul said. “She left a while after I was born,”

“That sucks,” Jessica said. They were reaching the bridge, it wasn’t too large a bridge, large enough to horrify Paul. It was a girder type bridge, built over a canal, full of traffic, especially at this time. School traffic. Paul stared at the bridge, slowing to a stop, Jessica didn’t slow down. “What’s up?” She turned around, looking at him.

“I just,” Paul felt his legs trembling. “I just,” he took a shaky step. Then another. Soon, he was walking. The traffic seemed louder on the bridge, the two had switched sides, Jessica on the side of the road and Paul beside the railing. He kept his eyes on the sidewalk,

“I got a computer last week,” Jessica said. Paul looked over at her, “I don’t know how to connect it to the internet it though,” she added.

“Do you have a router?” Paul asked. Jessica fidgeted, “Yes? No?” He urged.

“What’s a router?” Paul went on to explain how routers worked.

“I have to buy one and then I can get on the internet?”

“Well you need a service provider of course,” Paul said.

“Right, of course,” Jessica took a moment, seemingly deep in thought. Paul let his eyes drift, the loud busy traffic, the railing, the water far below. His stomach dropped. He stared down at the water unable to move. Somehow, he’d been able to distract himself, he sunk to his knees. He was going to throw up, he could feel it. His chest was burning. “Paul?” She reached down, placing her hand on his shoulder. He jumped and scooted backward. “What’s up with you?” She asked, helping him onto his feet. Paul kept his eyes on her,

“Can we just get off this bridge?” Jessica suddenly seemed sympathetic. She walked backwards in front of him, “what are you doing?” He asked.

“I assumed you have like heightophobia or something,” she explained in a soft voice. Was she trying to be supportive? Paul easily ignored her usage of the word ‘heightophobia,’ when he noticed her hands on his. “What’s this?” he stammered, “I thought you didn’t like touching,”

“I’m being helpful,” She assured.

“How?” Paul continued. “I’m just confused now,”

“I thought you could focus on me and we could walk like this,” she encouraged. Paul watched her suspiciously. She was being uncharacteristically kind. His mind wandered, was that uncharacteristic? He didn’t know anything about her. They walked slowly, Paul decided to speak up.

“What’s with you?” Immediately after speaking, he hated his own blunt tone.

“What do you mean?”

“You keep being so nice to me. I keep expecting you to kidnap me or something,” Paul said

“Is that weird?” Jessica turned red. Paul looked down at the sidewalk, Jessica looked toward the water. “I see.”

“I mean,” Paul started, no words came to his mind. He noticed her grip on his hands loosen. She didn’t let go. They were off the bridge a few minutes later. Jessica let go of Paul’s hand, he sat down on the sidewalk. “Which way is your place?” She was staring back the way they came, “Jessica?” He reached up, touching her forearm. She shrieked, jumping back. Paul watched, silently.

“What’s wrong?” She asked, seemingly oblivious to her own outburst. Paul got up,

“Which way is your place?” He asked again, she pointed further down the road

“What about you?”

“Same way”

“Let’s go then,” the two continued. “You want to hold hands?”

“What?”

“Sorry, you’re right,”

3:02 PM.

They didn’t talk much for the rest of the way. Both of them were deep in thought, Paul was sufficiently confused.

“This is it,” Jessica spoke up. Paul looked over her house, it looked the same as all the other houses on the street.

“Alright, see you later,” Paul was ready to go home. He kept walking,

“Paul,” he stopped. “I have a crush on you.”

Fen

I'll say off the bat I'm no syntax or dialogue or anything expert, but I can tell you what a reader would want. To start, your first sentence has to be thrown away, it's cliche and boring and won't drag the reader in. Consider your first words more carefully since they're your make or break with the reader. There was also a bit of dialogue that was super confusing to follow so I would make it more concise and easy to read. "What are we doing?" she asked. Her boyfriend, Paul gave up on trying to remember his name the moment he'd met the guy, looked down. "What. Are. We. Doing?" She demanded again. Paul snuck past them as she continued." In this sentence you make it seem like Paul is her boyfriend, not her brother which confuses the reader. You shouldn't put a period after 'she asked' the sentence would flow better if you got rid of the comma and moved the period "… she asked her boyfriend. Paul … ". The last thing that confuses/bores me, Jess, confessing her crush on Paul. To me, you made it seem like that day at the gym was the first time they ever saw each other and that Jess was new to the school, and if I was the reader of the full book I wouldn't even bother with the rest after that confession since I thought they just met that day. That's what makes the end of the chapter seem so rushed. Another thing that bothered me was how Jess almost fell on her ass from a tap. even if you're insinuating she's abused she wouldn't react so violently. A hard flinch at most, but almost falling out of her chair and running from the classroom is way over the top. Also, the whole I stalk you and then you stalk me from the characters is a bit weird considering that Paul only met her that day. That is all I can think of, for now, hope this helps.

Fen

I'll say off the bat I'm no syntax or dialogue or anything expert, but I can tell you what a reader would want. To start, your first sentence has to be thrown away, it's cliche and boring and won't drag the reader in. Consider your first words more carefully since they're your make or break with the reader. There was also a bit of dialogue that was super confusing to follow so I would make it more concise and easy to read. "What are we doing?" she asked. Her boyfriend, Paul gave up on trying to remember his name the moment he'd met the guy, looked down. "What. Are. We. Doing?" She demanded again. Paul snuck past them as she continued." In this sentence you make it seem like Paul is her boyfriend, not her brother which confuses the reader. You shouldn't put a period after 'she asked' the sentence would flow better if you got rid of the comma and moved the period "… she asked her boyfriend. Paul … ". The last thing that confuses/bores me, Jess, confessing her crush on Paul. To me, you made it seem like that day at the gym was the first time they ever saw each other and that Jess was new to the school, and if I was the reader of the full book I wouldn't even bother with the rest after that confession since I thought they just met that day. That's what makes the end of the chapter seem so rushed. Another thing that bothered me was how Jess almost fell on her ass from a tap. even if you're insinuating she's abused she wouldn't react so violently. A hard flinch at most, but almost falling out of her chair and running from the classroom is way over the top. Also, the whole I stalk you and then you stalk me from the characters is a bit weird considering that Paul only met her that day. That is all I can think of, for now, hope this helps.

@Paperok

Yeah, my dialogue writing is a work in progress I see what you mean. Huh, that's strange, she's not a new student. And as it's explained in the latter half of the chapter they have literally every class together. (As stupid as that sounds) Paul's confusion which I guess isn't really expanded on until chapters 3 or 4 where Crystal and Logan call them out on their shit. But anyway lemme explain OH yes. It wasn't supposed to seem like an abuse thing. Clearly it can be portrayed better with the way it's explained and Paul's reaction but she's just pretending. Yeah I understand what you mean. She's into Paul, but not romantically she just wants to be friends with him. Until on the bridge when he calls her out for being weirdly personal and she assumes that he wouldn't let her be close to him unless she was his girlfriend. It was very helpful! I know now I need to make it seem less like a love story and more off putting like it's intended to be. And you're right I really should kill that introduction it does not help at all.