HI, so I've been doing a lot of these lately and I thought I should post a character of my own! So I offer up for judgement the characters of my ~new~ universe. The universe itself is VERY underdeveloped, but feel free to tear my babies apart!! (They've also been posted under Characters).
(I'm just gonna post all of them, but you can do one or all of them!)
Tally- Natalie Lindbergh
Clara- Clara Lindbergh
Nico- Nico Starling
Be as harsh as you'd like!! :DDD
First off, I love Tally's nickname! Definitely not something I would choose for Natalie, but it definitely gives her a bit of charm. She does look about the average weight for her height which brings me to the question of what is she eating on the surface? From what you've written of the universe, it looks like getting good food security might be an issue, especially if the gangs are competing against each other in all other aspects.
Have to admit, though, I was a little concerned when I saw she had a tattoo at fifteen, though in the context of the 'verse, it does make sense. How long has she been down there, by the way? It's not exactly clear.
How does she feel about missing her pinky? Angry? Sorrowful? Kind of wistful and wishes she had it back? Losing even something as small as a finger is definitely going to have some sort of impact on a girl who was previously used to a life of luxury.
Overall, I love the amount of detail you've already put into this character, and would definitely love to learn more about her and the universe as you go along.
Hi~ Yesss new characters! I love doing these to cure my boredom. ^-^
Gonna start with Nico and work up if I have the time.
First off, I LOVE the background. I'd definitely be interested in reading this story if you'd allow me? ^-^ Also, the bit about Kale cracked me up. XDD
Second, could you give me any details as to what the "down below" and the "above worlders/word" means? From what I can gather, it appears to be two different civilization–one underground, one above–with the above worlders being better off with a nicer civilization than the down below.
As for his weight and proportions–yes, I know, I've become almost a stickler about this sort of stuff, forgive me–they seem relatively fine, given the conditions of the down below. However, something to note with 160lbs and a height of 6'2 is that he's not gonna be that muscular. With the healthy weight for a 6'2 make being 171 - 209lbs, he's got around 20lbs of muscle at best. Just something to keep in mind. He's not gonna be TOTALLY RIPPED but he will be rather toned if anything.
That's it for Nico. Good job! You did an amazing job crafting his unique personality. I love it. ^.^
Moving on: ONTO CLARA!
First, MAJOR point: Clara seems to have no flaws. (No, seriously.) She may be "too trusting" (I believe is what you meant to put. "Too trustworthy" would mean that you could trust her almost to a fault. She can be trusted with anything and everything and never fails or breaks trust.) but other than that, you have no other flaws for her, which is a problem in making a relatable character. Drug addictions and a blind trust are good, but with a bit more depth, you could make her GREAT. Maybe add something about how she spends her money? She does seem to have a lot of money at her disposal, so it wouldn't be too far fetched for her to have a habit of excessive spending, or a compulsive buying habit, or maybe she's just a picky eater and will only eat higher-end foods. (Not cheap Walmart dishes * scoffs *. XDD) You don't even have to go that far. Maybe she's a clean freak or a tad OCD. Maybe she has a short tempter, or can be easily annoyed. Even the little things help to make a more realistic and believable character. You say she "Flutters her fingers when she's nervous, rolls her shoulders when she's stressed", so maybe she's a habitual worrier. Just, please consider adding a little something more to her flaws. We don't want her to end up looking like a Mary Sue, now do we? ;)
omg, but hey! She's got my proportions. (Like, my exact weight and height.) Cool. X3
That's about it! ^-^ Now, moving on to Tally and maybe, well find something that FantaPop hasn't. ;)
Again, bit on a minor scale: Flaws. I think this is kind of a recurring theme with your characters here, but they don't seem to have any minor flaws. While I do like the nice balance of flaws on Tally, she doesn't have any little ones, which–I think–are one of the most fun parts of making a character. They give each character their own little bit of unique-ness. Something else the other characters don't that make them stand out just a little bit more. (Of course, this is all just personal preference when it comes to little flaws. You don't have to put any in, if you so wish. It is your character after all. ^-^)
Other than that, I think I'm done! Thanks for letting me take a crack at your characters @CinnamonRoll ! ^-^
Ahh thank you guys!! The universe is SO underdeveloped–I literally made it up as I was writing backstory. (I just wanted these characters to be born SO BAD!!) I will totally check out those flaws–I completely agree that they're important (and I'm kinda disappointed in myself now, RIP). Maybe check them out again in a bit and tell me how I do? (If you want! If you want). Thank y'all so much!!! ;DDD