forum Critique my character/characters????
Started by @Raziel Gallephraya
tune

people_alt 2 followers

@Suspicious_Reptiles

*Apollo
-Overview
Who calls them star and where did it come from?
-Looks
Omg short baby. But anyway they’re a bit underweight from where they should be for their height. Is this intentional?
-History
How would all this death affect their mind? How did they react when they learned both of their parents were dead? Did they know they were adopted and did they try to look for or wonder about their real parents? Also the fact that that Raziel gave Apollo the wooden block makes me suspicious of Raziel and she seems really nice and good so I don’t want to be suspicious of her.
-Family
Just let Apollo get a ferret! They really are cute!

*Galizur
-Looks
He’s overweight for his height.
-Nature
What does he do when he’s in different moods? What do you mean by his prejudice? A prejudice is something they don’t like for one reason or another. Sometimes it doesn’t have a reason.
-History
How was his relationship with the rest of his family? Did he like his parents or resent them?

*Raziel
-Looks
She’s so pretty! Pretty baby.
-Nature
Ok so I open this up and just see a paragraph and think, “Oh boy, here we go again.” So don’t make things too long. Get straight to the point and put in about a medium amount of words. Like a short paragraph should do the trick. Again same thing for the flaws, just list them out.
-Other things
A few typos in her history but it’s fine. I find it kinda amazing that she was able decide on a career. Did she adopt Apollo?

*Nova
-Looks
What do you mean in her identifying marks? Does this display in a way that you could easily point her out? She’s also so pretty!
-Nature
Tell me more about her mannerisms. For her prejudices, does she not just like people who are closed minded?
-History
Was there an event that changed her life or something that just stuck with her forever? What motivated her to be a teacher? Man she’s been a teacher for nine years, how is she still sane?