forum critique away
Started by @bass_gal
tune

people_alt 2 followers

@bass_gal

The night air was crisp and cold, but they didn’t mind because it gave them an excuse to bundle up and sit close together, arm in arm, fingers intertwined. She could feel the warmth of his body next to hers and the steady rise and fall of his breathing. There was security here. A security she was not used to. She lifted up her head from where it rested on his strong, sturdy shoulder to sneak a look at his profile. His seafoam green eyes shone bright, as if they held the stars, with the reflections of the city lights surrounding them. Oh, how she loved those eyes. A calm winter breeze gently teased the shoulder length, caramel colored hair framing his chiseled face. He looked like perfection, and it took every ounce of self control within her to not grab him and kiss him, long and hard, right there and then. He must have heard her thoughts, because he turned his head to look at her. The sound of her quickening heartbeat filled her ears as they made eye contact, and she was sure he could hear it, too, pulsing loud and strong. His lips curved into the crooked smile she had come to know as well as her own reflection.

“I feel like I’m on top of the world when you look at me like that,” he whispered to her in his smooth, baritone voice that sent shivers down her spine. She felt a warm blush begin to flood her cheeks.

“Like how?” she asked, shyly.

“Like you’re purposefully seeing every bit of me, and saving it in your memory. I don’t know what I did to deserve that look from you, but I hope I never do anything to make you stop.” He intertwined his left pinky with her right one- their secret I love you- and squeezed it, gently, bringing a smile to her face.

He lived for that smile. He lived for the comfort he felt when her tiny hand intertwined with his larger one. He lived for the moments he got to spend by her side. Those were the moments that felt significant. Those were the times he felt like he knew himself. It was an unfamiliar feeling, and incredibly intimate. Initially, it made him want to run, but something deep within him kept him here. Home. That’s what this feeling was. That’s what she was. Home.

Sodawater

I want to say this sounds like a page straight out of Divergent. Its sweet I guess. I don't know what's going on though.