forum Character Critique
Started by @itskayhere
tune

people_alt 8 followers

@Celestial-B

I'll have a go at them! :D (also, on somethings, sorry if I sound rude, i'm just very straightforward when I give critiques lol. I swear its not intended to be mean at all <3)

First, Clementine! I think she is a bit slim for her height, maybe up more in the 130s. You say her hair is wavy, how long is it though? To her shoulders? Elbows? Lower back? And how long is it in ponytails? Her mannerisms don't exactly make sense. A manner is 'A habitual gesture or way of speaking or behaving.' So a mannerism might be 'plays with her hair when embarrassed' or 'slouches when she's bored' and things like that! I am also a little confused on her motivations. What exactly is driving her to do what she is doing? You say something about showing women they can whatever they set their minds to, which is great, but I recommend just putting that and explaining it more. In her flaws, you only put one, which isn't that great. Flaws are what make humans human! So find as many flaws as possible for your character if you want the reader or whoever is looking at your character to relate to them! If you can find any flaws, then your character isn't that good of a character. One thing I noticed to, is you talk about her as if she is still in high school, but then you said her age is 28? Idk its just kind of confusing. And I think you can add some other stuff to her backstory. Like, did she have any siblings? How was her relationship with her parents? Did she have any other friends besides Jay? Did she have any major childhood events that made her the way she is today?

I'll come back and do some more probably, but I have to go for right now! Anyways, hope I helped! :D
(I saw justin beiber on there and now i'm really confused)