forum Can someone give me feedback on my opening scene?
Started by @Crwned
tune

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@Crwned

The room was dark, just as it always was. The small room held the bare necessities and as the woman made her way around the dimmed room with practiced ease, something became glaringly obvious. She still hadn’t paid her electric bill.

It was fine though, the darkness was like a comforting blanket, a constant presence in Quinn’s life. Deftly making her way to the small kitchenette, her hands found the fridge door handle and pulled it open, the interior just as dark as the small room. Pulling out the only thing in there, an empty water bottle, she made her way to the sink.

Thank god I paid the water bill.

After filling the bottle she made quick work of a shower, pulling on a t-shirt and some jeans afterwards. Making her way towards the small dining table, Quinn’s hands reached out for her most prized possessions, her backpack containing her laptop, notebook, and phone. Pulling on the jacket that was laid over the bag, she swung the bag over her shoulders, pocketing her phone before glancing at herself in the mirror.

The sun had started to rise, and while it wasn’t much light, Quinn could still make out the dark circles under her eyes. Another day, another sleepless night. Shrugging her shoulders, she made her way out of the apartment, the four flights of stairs laughing at her as she slowly made her way down them.

She always felt uneasy in this stairway, the walls seemingly always getting closer yet never actually moving. She kept her eyes trained on the steps directly in front of her, trying to block out the itchy feeling on the back of her neck. When she finally made it to the lobby, she rushed out of the building, taking a deep breath of the fresh Seoul air.

Shoving her hands into her coat pocket, Quinn set off for work. She bobbed her head to a silent beat in her head, and watched people she passed on the street. People were interesting. Everyone minding their own business, leading lives completely separate from most people they encounter.
Finally coming to a stop outside Starbucks, Quinn’s current working location, she sighed and made her way inside. As she ordered her usual coffee, Quinn made her way to the corner seat by the window, setting up her laptop and notebook. Giving the barista a small smile, Quinn took a sip of the iced coffee.

Her job was simple. Study the behavior of seven people who have one thing in common. Quinn worked for an online publishing company who had taken to her weekly series DAE-Today (Day-to-Day). The weeks story was based off a group of people she observed, creating a fake series of events to connect them to each other.

It was fun, and paid just enough to pay for coffee and the bills. Sighing, her eyes trailed upwards as her first character made his way inside. Her eyes narrowed when two more people followed him. Quickly scribbling down basic appearances, she went to work. A list of names being hastily scribbled next to each description, her eyes darting between the notepad and her laptop. The only reason she started the series was to help learn certain behaviors while she minored in behavioral analysis. At the thought of collage, she ceased all movement before slamming her hand onto the table, the movement causing her notebook to fall on the floor. Burying her head in her hands, Quinn groaned.

Fuck, forgot student loans last month.

After staying like that for a couple more minutes, Quinn looked up when someone cleared their throat. It was the barista from earlier.

“Ma’am, if you’re going to cause a scene, I’m going to have to ask you to leave.”

Nodding her head, she quickly stuffed her laptop in her backpack, gathering her notepad and pens in her arms, deciding on going to the park for a new set of character development. Hurriedly making her way towards the exit, she ran into something hard, her grip tightening around her coffee as her notebook and pens fell to the ground.

Quietly muttering an apology, Quinn kneeled down and started to gather her things, noticing a wallet and papers had also fallen to the ground. Glancing upwards, eyes focusing on her first character as he stood directly in front of her before he bent over and snatched his wallet from the ground.

Quinn finished grabbing the loose papers that had fallen out of her notebook before shooting to her feet, her arms clutching the materials tightly against her chest. “Sorry for running into you.” The words came out soft, and her eyes drifted downwards on embarrassment.

“No, I’m so sorry, I shouldn’t have just been standing here, but I really must go.” He gave her a large bunny smile and with a quick bow of his head, he made his way out of the door with his friends.

Quinn pursed her lips and nodded her head in thanks, though she knew he couldn’t see her, before glancing back down at her notebook. Something caught her eye but she disregarded it as she made her way in the opposite direction as the boy.