@Musical_Queen
I wrote a piece, but I'm not the emotional type, please help!
I wrote a piece, but I'm not the emotional type, please help!
Mari sat down in front of the camera. She took a deep
breathe before hitting record. Her live stream had started and there was no
going back. “Hey, guys,” She said in her stage voice, “I don’t even know if
this video is ever going to get out. I won’t ever know if I will ever be brave
enough to put this on YouTube. Right now, I’m sitting in my studio, trying to
find the right words, so I’m going to act like this is going out. This video,
this video, this video could be… This video could literally be the worst thing
to put out there.” She took in a deep breath and held back a cry before
starting again, “But this could also be really good. And sometimes in life, you
just have to follow your gut and sometimes do a bunch of things, Right?
Sometimes you to do that in life, and that’s what this video is about.” J.D.
stopped and took a deep breath, “So what is up my awesome fans, and welcome
back to another video. As you could see from that beginning, this video is very
big for me, because literally, I cannot even explain how big this is for me. So
let's get a few rumors out of the way, no I don’t and never have used a voice
changer. My voice can do this” She said making her voice go higher, “I could
just go really high and then go talking back to normal without too much
thought. So that’s the first rumor out of the way. Second rumor, no I have not
lied to you guys about it. It was not my intentions at least. Now that I’ve
gotten those out of the way, let's get to the main part of the video. Why I’m
making this video and why I’m using my real voice is because I have never expected
for me to make this video, But an interview of me where I usually volunteer got
uploaded three months ago, and for some reason, a lot of you guys have been
watching it, and I’m getting thousands of comments from you guys asking if I
could use t in a video or ask me why I’ve lied to you guys, and you’ve just
been asking me so many questions, and I get that, I understand why you have
questions about that sort of thing. And it’s so weird too, so I’m going to try
and explain why I made that voice happen and where it began, but honestly, I
don’t know myself. I know why I did it. I don’t know when it happened. You can
probably go back and watch Dawson’s videos and see the transition happening.
But for a long time, I didn’t even use that voice. Now, of course my voice will
sound different.” Entering stage voice, “Like right now, if I try to sound
excited or when I go to try a new thing, I’ll use my J.D. voice. Hi J.D. here”
Lower voice “And then, let’s just say we were talking and we were talking in
real life, I wouldn’t sound like J.D., I would sound like this. Hi my name is
J.D. and I like toast. I really, really enjoy toast, actually. My favorite type
of toast is French toast. I can go pretty deep, but I can also go pretty high.
My voice just has a wide vocal range and it can do a lot of things. I don’t
know what is up with that. So yeah, my voice varies from what I am doing. And
right now it is chill talk time. This is my regular voice when I am serious and
need to get a point across, which we still haven’t gotten too. So the whole
reason why J.D. actually started was because, in my opinion, was because, when
I first did a video with Dawson, so many people got exposed to me. I got so
much hate, but also a lot of love surprisingly, but also a lot of hate. And I
think I wasn’t used to it and I was very fragile back then, so I tried to
switch things up so if somebody hated on me, it wouldn’t feel like it was
actually on me. It would feel like it would be from the way I talked. Even
thought, the only thing that changes, I am still J.D., that’s who I am, even
when I talk like this, I’m still that personality. The only thing that changes
and you guys will have to get used to is my voice. That’s the only thing. I’m
still as crazy, I’m still as random, and I’m still the same person. All I do is
put on a voice, and that voice was created for me to deal with the hate. Now
that we’ve gotten that out of the way. I’m trying to make this very organized
so I can wrap my mind around it because I’m so scared about this video, like I
have never been this scared in my life before, like I am so terrified.
Literally, this could be bad, but this could be good and I hate taking chances.
But most people never really mention Dawson’s videos where I don’t use this
voice, because if I meet you in real life, I’m not using the J.D. voice, I’m
using this voice right here because this is my real voice. Honestly guys, I’m
both really happy, and also really terrified about so many of you guys finding
this out and I feel like, I feel like a lot of you guys, some of you guys are
going to take this negatively and think that I’ve lied to you, and trust me, I
never intended to lie to you. I don’t even see it as a lie. Just know that was
not what I wanted to do at all. I love you guys more than anything and it’s
something that just got out of control and honestly, I’m kind of tired of doing
the J.D. voice all the time because it is destroying my throat, you can tell
that I have to tense up my throat a lot to be able to do the voice and it is
really uncomfortable for me. It’s not healthy for my voice and I think that it
is time to put that voice to rest okay? I really think it is. I know some of
you are going to be disappointed in that, but all I can do is show you that my
videos will still be as entertaining. And I also want you guys to like me for
me. I don’t want you to like me for this crazy high pitched voice I put on. I
want you to like me for the person I actually am. And I am J.D., don’t get me
wrong. I am just as crazy, just as random as J.D., it’s just that all the
difference there is, is that my voice is different. That’s it, I promise. I
promise that’s the only difference okay? Now as I said in the beginning, I am
going to act as if this video is going up on to YouTube and that you guys are
watching it, but legitimately, I don’t know if I can actually upload this video
and at some point you guys were going to have to find out anyways. And I don’t
want to, I didn’t, I never lied to you guys. I don’t think I ever intended to
lie to you guys. I don’t think I ever tried to make you think that that was my
real voice. It’s just the voice I’ve been using in videos for so long and I got
used to it, you guys got used to it, and it all just got out of control. It’s
kind of like when you lie to a person, and you keep lying to them, even though
I don’t find this as a lie, because I don t think I ever intentionally lied
about it, you know, it’s just kind of something that happened, and I’ve never
been this scared guys, Like legitimately, I’ve never been this scared to make a
video because this whole thing that I’ve worked so hard on for over a year,
J.D., Dawson, the channel, having you guys liken family, everything, like that
means the world to me man and the reason I have to address this video, the
reason I have to address it is because there are so many comments about it. And
I’m also tired of not sing my real voice, and I’m just so scared. I feel like
you guys don’t like me for me, I feel like you like me for my high pitched
voice. Which might sound really ridiculous, but I’m really scared that once you
guys found out that I start making videos with this voice, that you guys will
stop watching me. And I will lose every single one of you guys which every
single one of you is like a family to me. And I really hope that that is not
the case. I actually hope that this will be a positive thing, but the scary
thing is, is that I literally have no control over how people are going to
react to this. I don’t know if they are going to hate it. I don’t know if they
are all going to unsubscribe and get all of this hate on my channel, but
something had to be done you know, and um, this is my real voice guys. You know
right now I am talking very calmly so this is not how I am going to sound on
future videos. I’m going to sound way more excited, but this is a very serious
video and I’m honestly terrified. I’m so scared. I really am. I guess that’s
it. I still don’t know if I am actually going to put this video out, but in
case I do, um then the comment from the last video with the most likes is on
the screen. I’m trying to get myself back up to a higher energy level because
maybe this isn’t a bad thing. And maybe it is a good thing. I’m just going to
have to put all of my trust into you guys. And trust you guys that everything won’t
go completely insane. But I don’t know, so I’m just going to keeve it at that.
There is a million more things that I could touch up on, but if you guys have
any questions, leave them down in the comments below and I will make an episode
where I answer all of the question that you guys have. But right now I am just
really scared, I’m terrified, I’m nervous for how this will end out. And I
literally could lose everything that I care so much for, but don’t worry, I’m
still J.D. I’m still as crazy, I’m still as random. I just have a different
voice for this channel. Anyway, that’s going to have to be it for this episode,
I hope you guys enjoyed. If you did please hit that like button and subscribe,
and the reason that I’m not pumped right now is because I’m nervous. And kind
of sad, and terrified and I’m everything at one time, and I’m yeah. I’m just
going to see what’s going to happen, if this video even goes out. I just can
think of that right now. But please, if you see this video, if it’s actually
out there, please don’t hate me, okay? All I still want to do is entertain you
guys and it’s been my goal from day one. I’m just tired of, I’m tired of doing
that voice. I want people to like me for my real voice. As I said, J.D. is not
an act, J.D. is not a lie, the only thing different about the J.D. you know is
the voice. That’s the only thing. But please guys you mean the world to me
okay? Please don’t leave me. I know that sounds very desperate, but I don’t
know what I would do without you us. I really don’t know. I really don’t know. I’m
on the verge of tears all the time during this video because I’m just so
scared. I don’t know how else to say it, but please don’t leave me. You mean
the world to me and hopefully this will be the start of something good? Or
maybe this will be the end of my channel because you guys will hate me. It
might actually be the end of my channel you guys. If you guys don’t like this,
you know? But it couldn’t… I had to tell you guys, you know and it feels good,
but, what if this is the end of me. What if this is the end of something I have
worked day and night on for two years all because I wanted to do a silly voice.
And this is the reason you guys won’t want to watch me anymore, like what of
that is actually the case? You know, I’m
just going to have to turn it off here or else I’m going to be talking forever.
I love you guys. Yeah. I’ll talk to you guys later, okay? Love you. I’m so scared.
Bye” Mari turned off the camera and let the tears she had been holding back
set free. She sat there for a long time, her face burried in her hands, sobbing. She barely heard her door open, she didn't hear the steps in her room, but she did feel the pair of arms wrapped being wrapped around. She heard a soft voice voice whispering, "Shh, shh, I've got you. It's okay." The voice came from Dawson. They sat there for what felt like hours - Dawson holding a crying Mari.
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