forum Can Someone Critique My Characters
Started by Magical Universe
tune

people_alt 7 followers

@FantaPop

Okay so, for Blue Worm, what is the worm tribe, exactly? How did she become the leader of it? You put her weight at 90, but 90 what? Pounds, kilograms? Because both of those have very different implications with her height. 90lbs is severely underweight for a girl at 6', you'd be somewhere in the range of 150lbs and upwards. 90kg, on the other hand, doesn't match her body type of 'thin and curvy'. What does that mean? Does she have wide hips and an average bra size? Are her arms sticks?

What sort of mannerisms does she have? You put unknown, but think of the way she talks - does she talk with her hands, talk with her mouth full, pronounce each word crisply and enunciated, etc.? What does she do when she's bored - fidget, pull at loose strings, repeat something to herself? Her prejudices are set to unknown as well, though I'm sure you can figure something out for that as well! How does she treat people outside of her tribe? What about people threatening her tribe's livelihood? Her personality type is 'nice but fierce', what do you mean by that? Which is seen more, her nice side or her fierce side? How do people react to that? In what ways is she nice?

What are her politics as the leader of the tribe? Does she shun and abhor outsiders, does she welcome them, but with a healthy dose of suspicion? Does she assume that all outsiders are going to ruin them? (hey, that's another prejudice!) You put earlier that she was the fastest flyer in her tribe, but don't mention anything else about it. Does she ride creatures, or have wings, or fly with magical help? Does she hunt Doge herself, or prefer to let the hunters of the tribe kill it? Why are mini wolves her favourite?

Her birthday looks good, though the 6042 threw me off a little at first! ^^; You say her education is middle, though do you mean average for her tribe? In fact, how was she educated, as the daughter of the king and queen. Expand on that and her backstory! What was she like as a kid? Why does she like Grey Worm?

This is all I've got the energy for at the moment, but I like where you're going with her and the rest of them! Don't be afraid to fill out all the boxes notebook.ai gives you, or add custom categories if the website doesn't have exactly what you're looking for!