forum Can some one look over my character?
Started by @MonochromaticDelusions
tune

people_alt 11 followers

@Krystal

Looks good, though when it comes time to actually write about her I would advise not simply stating her height & weight and instead describing how she looks (height & weight wise) or feels (if someone tries to lift her up or something) depending on the scenario. Maybe it is just me but mentioning measurements doesn't seem natural as most people don't look at a person and know their height and weight.

@MonochromaticDelusions

She is a decent queen. She thinks of her subjects as people like her and wants to do best by them. Her subjects, however, think her to be weak and wish that she was able to take a better grasp on the country like queens and kings before her have.

Deleted user

Looks good. A very thought-out character. I have a few questions, though.
One: why does she have the scars/what gave her the scars?
Two: who did she marry if she didn't marry any of the arranged suitors? Or are her children illegitimate, if she never married at all?
Three: is it custom for her to become queen at the age of 18 or was there a reason behind it?
Four: was there a particular thing that began her addiction to morphine?
Five: Did her father also neglect her like her mother?
Six: Was her mother just neglectful or was she outright unkind?
Also, just curious: what is your story about? It seems very interesting.

@Mish

Everyone already took my questions, so I'm just going to say that I absolutely ADORE your character! It's so well thought out and interesting, with a backstory that's tragic enough to be believable, yet unique, and intriguing.

Keep up the good work, my friend, and may your writing go far in this world! ^-^

@MonochromaticDelusions

@AliceO'Mally

Aww, thank you so much!
And I'm so sorry for taking so long to answer I really had to think some of this stuff out and I was very busy at school.

Btw- you asked some really really good questions

So here we go!

One: Her scars have come from many places, someone which were accidental and others not so much. The scars on her face are
Two: She didn’t marry at first. After she became queen, she could not be forced into anything. Her children are not illegitimate but they are not her own blood. They are in actuality her step-children but she never regards them as so. They became her children when she married her first and only husband and she grew close to them and cared for them as a real mother would a child that she birthed. She originally did not want to marry, unfortunately, in her only marriage, she did not have a choice. The king threatened her and her kingdom, saying that he would attack her kingdom and burn the place to the ground. She weights out her options and knowing that her army was not strong enough to fend off his forces, she did what she thought would be best and married him. The children are from a previous marriage that the king had, however, his wife died during the birth of his daughter.

Three: Normally it is customary because that is when she becomes of age. Most of the time heir/heiress’s will take over their kingdom from their parents when they finally turn of age or in this case 18 years old. Marriage is not a requirement of becoming Queen/King but it is strongly advised that they start to have children as soon as possible. This is because they want to make sure that their family bloodline is continued on for the next generation. Normally a royal family will try to have at least 2 children so that they can for sure carry on the bloodline (Some of the kingdoms will have more depending on the nature of said kingdom). Now let's say that the Queen is unable to rule because she is incapacitated or she has died before any of her children have come of age. In that case the Kingdom will be turned over to the King ( Providing that he is in a fit condition to rule), who will become King Regent of the country until the time that the eldest child becomes of age ( Regent meaning a person appointed to administer a country because the monarch is a minor or is absent or incapacitated.)

Four: After the death of her husband (His death not affecting her too emotionally), she was placed as Queen Regent of his kingdom while at the same time still having to run her own and then on top of that trying to raise her children.( They are stepchildren by way of marriage by she regards them as her own blood) This, understandably placed her under a lot of stress. During this time she sustained an injury ( Broken wrist), this put her in a lot of pain, to help ease this the royal physician gave her morphine. After her wrist had healed she continued to use it because it made her feel calm and after a while of using it she became lethargic (affected by lethargy; sluggish, apathetic and drowsy.) This was her way of trying to put some pressure off of herself because she felt as though the stress was killing her.

Five: Her father was not neglectful like her mother, he cared for her and her sister very much and was there to care for the two of them for a good amount of years. He was there to fill in both rolls taking their mother’s absence in all of these was her shoulder to cry on and the person she went to if she needed some empathy in her life. He was always kind and always there for them until Macie turned 14 when he died from pneumonia. This threw everything out of whack considering the fact that she really didn’t have someone else to go to with her issue, dreams, complaints. She lost the only person she could talk to besides her sister who was four years younger than her.

Six: It was a little bit of both, to be honest. Her mother never treated her inhumanely but also never gave her the amount of love that she needs to thrive as a human being.( Which according to many psychological studies can be very very bad for babies and children) These events are why Macie was so well delved into the knowledge of books because they became a coping mechanism for her over the death of her father, as her mother was not there to grieve with her. Her mother was curt with her most of the time and was never a caring and compassionate person. After the death of Macie’s father, her mother was free to do as she wished with the concern of the throne and which child was to be crowned, so she decided to crown Cynthia ( Macie’s Sister who is younger by 4 years) rather than Macie because she was less able to be manipulated. This further pushed the two apart, until Cynthia ran away to avoid becoming queen in the first place, leaving Macie as the only one able too. Once Macie became queen her mother left off to retire in the countryside leaving Macie on her own. ( The death of her mother really didn’t affect her in the normal sense because her mother was, in all honesty, a stranger to her)

As to what my story is about I have a decent idea
I really like pulling ideas from Victorian England and medieval Europe.

So Macie is my main character and it is going to go through her life as she tries to rule 2 kingdoms with a world on the brink of war. She is trying to raise her children and prepare them to be married and one of them to become the ruler of the ivory kingdom.

I hope these answer your questions and if you have any more don’t be afraid to ask!
Thank you