I laugh nervously, trying to hide my possible blushing. "Thank you." I murmur, attempting to resist the urge to hastily put my beanie back on.
"So you'll come to Purple with me?" I add, returning to the topic at hand. "I didn't want to admit how actually nervous I was-am. I thought if I faked my confidence then maybe it'll become true." I turn around and open my backpack, folding up the beanie and carefully placing it into the already stuffed backpack. Turning back to Candy, I await her confirmation, which I didn't necessarily need, but provoked it anyway.
"I am coming to Purple with you." I check my watch, suddenly aware of the time. "Oh fuck, we got to run! The train will be leaving soon! We are not getting stuck in Green." I scooped the last spoonful of ice cream into my mouth, and yanked Jae out of her chair.
We ran as fast as we could to the train. I repeatedly glanced at my watch, hoping we'd make it in time. We did, but just barely. I threw myself onto the seat, my lungs left alone to breathe back the oxygen into my muscles. When was the last time I ran?
I looked over to Jae, who was equally tired. Giggles rose up, and for some odd reason I could not stop laughing.
After the rushed run, Candy and I sat huffing and puffing on the train seats. A few moments passed of us heavily breathing when Candy started giggling. I turn my head to her, already laughing from her contagious giggle.
"What?" I asked through chuckles. As the words come out of my mouth, the train bell beeps through the speakers and the engine hisses. Machinery begins working, and, slowly but surely, the train starts moving. Off to blue. I've heard stories about Blue. The Caeruleum Forest at night was magical. Every night, thousands of fireflies come out and shine their little lights, speckling the forest. It's quite a scene, but since it happens every night, it's only popular to visitors. I quietly do the math of when the train will arrive at Blue, and estimate it will arrive at around 9pm, giving Candy and us enough time to check it out. I wonder if she knows about it.
"What?" Jae says, also laughing along to my insanity. Before I could reply, the train interrupts and begins to move. I try to breathe out my giggles. "I think I'm high of adrenaline. Is that a thing?" I say, finally gathering my thoughts. I felt a small tinge of sadness as I realize I won't be going to Blue like I had hoped. I reassured myself that I still had 50 minutes of visiting, and that Purple would be much more exhilarating than Blue could have ever been. Yes, Purple is the one.
I must have fallen asleep, as I found myself resting on Jae's shoulder. When my eyes focused, the night welcomed me. The night wasn't the only thing as the smell of food greeted my nose as well. I quickly sat up, feeling hungry. "Are they serving dinner?"
I breathe in gently but quickly to try to smell the food that caught Candy's attention. As the train slows to a stop, I look at Candy with excitement in my eyes.
"I think they are. You thinking what I'm thinking?"
I quickly stand up and rush out the doors. My boots jump from the iron of the train stairs to the cold brick crosswalk. The air was cool, not humid like Yellow, and the white street lights gave off a gentle blue hue around them. I look at Candy, smiling uncontrollably. I turn around and look further into the distance. Various colors filled the train station, but Blue dominated everywhere else, especially at night. Blue diner signs that read "OPEN" complemented almost every door. People in blue based outfits walked around with their blue personalities. Slow acoustic music riddled the area, and I could even catch a few people singing along to the music. A particular blue light catches my eye and I turn to see a group of people walking into what looks like a subway, but can't be that considering this train is the only train. I begin to wonder what is down there underground.
Jae seemed energetic, as she jumped off the train before I could even wake up. "Wait up!" I called to her, trying to gather my stuff. My legs took off, nearly causing me to trip.
Blue was exactly how I imagined it. All different shades covering the city like a blanket. Since it was night time, the train gave us an extra 40 minutes to explore.
Jae was moving on her own, and I struggled to follow her. She was heading towards some type of underground world. As we got closer, music began to get louder and louder, and lo-fi type of sound. A soft male voice was singing along. I saw Jaeden grin, and my eyes led to a venue with a strange amount of neon colors. Although it was mostly blue, I caught some pink and purple hues. Everyone inside seemed to be having a great time listening and laughing and talking. This would be the life I would have lived a couple hours ago. My heart pounds as I shake off the same sadness that kept creeping in. No, it was fear. The indigo kind. Am I really going to Purple?
"Is that a bar?" Mischief danced in my eyes, pushing away any negativity. "I have a fake ID, I could sneak you something." Jae hesistated, so I added, "only if you'd like, of course. No pressure."
My eyes widen as we enter the crowded room. It was calm. Well, not necessarily relaxing, but it was calm. No one was jumping and yelling, no one was pushing each other around. A few people sat in cushioned chairs as a thin smoke exited their mouths. I watched to see how that happened, and a few of them proceeded to put a metal stick in their mouth and inhale, later to release the fumes.
"Is that a bar?" I snapped out of my trance of watching the people with the vapors and jolted my head around to Candy. She was smirking at me.
"I have a fake ID, I could sneak you something."
Adrenaline filled my veins at the thought of doing something illegal.
"only if you'd like, of course." Candy added, "no pressure."
Well, we're only going to be here for another 80 minutes. It's not like we'll get caught, right?
I nod at Candy and murmur, "Something light, though. I don't want to get sick or anything." I turn my head at the band playing, and suddenly felt the peaceful energy of the crowd. Blue is quite a distance from Purple, but I'm beginning to wonder if I'll be willing to run here if I can't live in Purple.
To my relief, Jae agreed, "Something light, though. I don't want to get sick or anything." I nodded my head, showing the bartender my fake ID. He eyed the card for moments too long, but I kept my cool. Finally, the man smiled and asked what I wanted.
"Um, get me a margarita, and maybe a wine or something. Surprise me." I hoped the bartender wouldn't notice why I got two completely different drinks. As I waited, I watched each person and wondered what kind of life they led. A good majority of them had strange tattoos, I noticed.
Glasses clunked on the bar table. I slid the margarita to Jae. "Don't drink too much." I thanked the bartender, who I noticed had purple roots. I nudged Jae and whispered, "Look, a fellow Purple."
I giggle and take a sip of the margarita, the sharp liquid hitting my tongue and stinging my entire mouth. It was at that moment I realized I've never had an alcoholic drink before. I try to avoid making a face and reacting to the drink as I gulp the liquid down. "Look, a fellow Purple." Candy whispered, motioning towards the bartender. I chuckle and wonder if he's been to Purple. Maybe he lost confidence at Blue and stayed. Maybe he never left Blue. I inhale softly as I listen to the music next to Candy, feeling an utter sense of peace and serenity wash over me.
I eyed Jae in curiosity. She seemed so at ease, when before she looked as if a mouse could shock her. I wondered how long it had been since she felt this way. Jae nodded her head to the beat, taking tiny sips and obviously trying to keep a straight face. She was lost in thought, and that made me more calm than the music ever could.
The song ended, and another began. I enjoyed the silence, but the urge to find out about the bartender's past had taken over. "Jae, the bartender has totally been eyeing you. I think it's your hair. Let's talk to him, eh?"
I didn't wait for her to respond before I waved over the man. "Hey, uh," I glanced over his name tag, "Joseph!"
I chuckle and blush madly. "Candy!" I whisper-yell at her while trying to hide behind the invisible wall of anxieties. Joseph turns around and comes towards us, drying a cup.
"You need something?" He asks, looking at the two of us, which I then noticed his eyes lingered on my hair for just a second. I smile, but deep down I'm panicking. What is Candy planning? What is she going to ask him? I certainly can't think of anything to say in the moment. I'm blanking out. I feel my heart beating out of my chest as I attempt to inhale deeply and slowly in order to calm it down.
Unfortunately, Jae's calm didn't last forever, so it was up to me to initiate conversation. I don't blame her, though, he was a stranger. I decided to be straightforward.
"We could not help but notice your purple roots. Were your parents from Purple? I'm sure you get this question a lot, but we can't help be be curious. As you can see, Jae has some Purple in her, too." I added a wink.
Joseph rubbed his neck, laughing nervously. "I, uh, actually don't ever get this question. No one notices really. I've been to Purple before." He continues drying the already past clean cup, occasionally looking at Jaeden. "It's… okay. I wouldn't go there again, though."
I squint my eyes, not happy with his answer. "Why?"
Joseph hesitates, staring at me with a look of almost disgust. "You chicks aren't planning to go there, are you?"
His response somehow sends a chill of disappointment through my skin. He heaves a sigh as he sets down the cup and looks right into our eyes.
"It's hell. Really. I couldn't last a week there. I think it…changed me somehow. Negatively, though." He grabs the cup and sets it on the counter behind him.
"Seriously, you two. Don't go to Purple. Y'all are both too young for that."
I exhale, a bit of dread coming over me.
"So it really is as bad as it seems." I murmur to Candy, taking a gulp of the margarita and turning away from the bar to watch the concert again, but this time with a hint of frustration and disappointment radiating off of me.
I furrow my brows, angry I said "I didn't ask for advice. We're going no matter what you say. Plus, if you don't even explain what the hell is there, how will we know it's to be avoided?" I felt utterly disappointed. "You're just like everyone else. Too weak to truly experience Purple until death." I don't know what I expected. Some badass backstory? That he would be some knight? The goddamn bartender dyed his hair, obviously he wouldn't have a good comment on it.
He refused to look me in the eye. I scoffed, standing up. "Come on, Jae, let's leave. We still have the rest of the town to explore." My words no longer had the sense of security and sincerity anymore, which I regretted instantly, but I couldn't be sitting in the bar anymore. The air suddenly felt too heavy and the music felt off-key.
I made sure not to leave a tip,
I quietly follow Candy out of the venue, feeling a weird mixture of emotions. Candy seemed frustrated, and I felt uneasy by it. I hadn't seen her frustrated before, and this was definitely something new and a bit unsettling to me. She guides me back up the stairs and out into above ground. The familiar scent of the dinners loomed in the air, as if nothing had happened. The atmosphere was back to the gentle serenity. I force myself to stop walking and turn to Candy.
"Hey, are you okay? What was that back there?" I ask her, seeing how angry she got at the bartender, it made me wonder if there was something more to that.
I stopped and stretched, trying not to look at Jae. I hadn't realized how hot it had been until now.
"Hey, are you okay? What was that back there?" She says, concerned.
I think about my answer. I wanted to say: "Just tired of people telling me what to do, I guess. Don't do this, don't do that. It's not like we're weak, you know? We aren't like them. We didn't come this far just to change our minds."
I didn't say that. My brain got in the way, and I closed myself off. Like I always do. What actually came out of my mouth was:
"Nothing. I'm just tired. Let's find a souvenir store, shall we?"
I nod, still concerned, but I try not to let it get to me. She said nothing, right? So it really is nothing, right? I sigh as we walk into a souvenir shop, the gentle, yet unidentifiable aroma dancing in the air and filling me with bliss. I look around, grabbing every candle I see and smelling it, showing it to Candy, and commenting on the scent names.
"This one smells like Antarctica! Isn't that cool?"
"I've always wondered what Florida smells like."
"Do you think they have a scent for each Color?"
I rambled more and more, hoping Candy didn't realize how much I rambled when I'm nervous. I'd point out every little thing and comment on it, trying my hardest to keep my mind off of the bar incident.
I giggled when I saw Jae's arm full of candles. She was chattering much more than usual, but I dismissed it. If it was about my humiliating explosion, I would rather forget.
My phone vibrated in my pocket. I pulled it out, expecting my dragon eggs to have hatched, but disappointingly stared at a message from my sister.
"Are you 'there' yet?"
I frowned, deciding not to tell her that Blue was only another stop for me. She would only scold me.
"Hey," I waved Jaeden over. "Want to get matching necklaces? They have these cute little blue circles! They're fairly cheap, too."
I set the candles I was holding back onto the shelf, careful not to drop any, and walk over to Candy. She was holding two adorable blue necklaces. I marvel at them before taking one and trying it on, smiling at Candy. "What do you think? You like it?" I smile at her. I didn't realize I'd be this comfortable and having such fun with someone. I kind of just assumed my future would be a silent ride to Purple and my debate with myself on whether I should stay, and it's all been so different than how I imagined. Funny how things work out that way.
"We are buying them." I look at Jae dead in the eyes, then return to my normal relaxed face. I pull out my wallet and hand the blue lady a ten dollar bill. After, we walk out and I helped put Jae's on. It has been about a day, and I had already bought the poor girl friendship necklaces. A strange feeling I couldn't identify washed over me.
"It doesn't match your outfit, but who cares? I'm so glad we found these. Where to next?" I squealed, bringing back my hyper vibe. The time until we would arrive to Purple was coming fast, yet the anxiety had not hit me yet. Something about being with Jae made me feel like I'd survive it. Normally, the thought of a horror movie would make me go pale, but now, I feel like I could sail the world while punching sharks
I smile and follow Candy around town. "How much time do we have?" I ask, realizing how much I've lost track of time. It seems to be getting darker and I didn't want to miss the train, despite me deep down hoping I would, I'd still be okay if I end up at Purple. Again, the train gives us plenty of time to reconsider. I sigh deeply at the thought of Purple, suddenly realizing that thinking about it no longer makes my stomach turn. Hearing the word no longer makes me flinch and I suddenly realize how long I'd been faking my confidence in my true self. I never actually embraced the fact that I was some purple girl, I just allowed myself to be affected by it. This comfort in the lack of discomfort because of it caused me to smile to myself. I look back up at Candy.
"Hey, do we have enough time to look at the fireflies in Caeruleum Forest?"
I glance at my watch. I thought we wouldn't have time, but strangely only 45 minutes had passed. We would have time to stop by the forest and go back to the train. Deciding to prank Jae, I wear a disappointed look on my face.
"Yikes, looks like we only have just enough time to go. What a shame. Forty-five minutes left," I sighed, but couldn't keep up with my illusion. A smile spreads on my face as I let Jae lead the way. I had heard about the Caeruleum Forest from my sister, but I usually tuned her out at a certain point. I never remembered her mentioning fireflies. An image crosses my mind, a depiction of how the scene would play out. I'd walk through the forest with Jae, marveling over the dancing lightning bugs. The blue trees would glisten from the moonlight, but not so bright that it'd drown out the fireflies. No, it would be just right.
We rush to the forest and come upon the entrance. It's a beautiful archway with cursive letters spelling, "Caeruleum Forest" as a greeting. In the blue ocean of leaves and trees, I can already see the yellow specks. I run into the forest deep enough until I'm surrounded on all sides by the fireflies. It was truly indescribable. Such a smooth clash of two colors, yellow and blue, filled my heart with an emotion I'd never felt before. It was almost as beautiful as seeing all the stars, except the stars are moving all around you and zipping by your eyes. It's magical and almost unreal, but there's no way I could have dreamed this up.
I let Jae run up ahead of me. I quietly pulled out my camera and snapped a photo of something magical.
In the center, a girl with soft, purple hair falling on her shoulders. She wears a rust orange jacket, hiding a mustard yellow sweater. Tight black jeans frame her legs, and a small pack rests on her back. She looks up into the trees, smiling at a small drop of light. The light resembles fairies, as they sparkle up the already magically environment. These lights belong to the firefly. Billions of them, dotting the photo. The trees were shades of every blue. It was like living in an underwater forest. They surrounded the girl, watching over her, protecting any living thing from danger. The sky was the most life-changing experience. A galaxy imprinted onto our usually bland sky. Stars' lights millions of light years away twinkled to each other, very much imitating the way fireflies would shine.
I put away my camera and caught up to Jae. We didn't exchange any words, but it was okay. A soft cricket noise chirped all around us. Every now and then, an owl would sound in the distance, calling to the night. The true place for a soul laid here, in nature. Connection with the earth, with the person walking right by my side. A scene out of a movie was happening. And I never felt better.
I flinch as Candy brushes up against me. I was so enveloped in the magic before me that I momentarily forgot that other life existed. It was almost as if I temporarily traveled to another universe. A universe where only I existed. Me, and these hundreds of thousands of living lights. I look over at Candy with a smile on my face. I could honestly sit here forever. It was like the calm before the storm, at least as far as I know. I soaked in every moment of this, wondering if it was going to be my last day of happiness. Maybe not, now that I have someone to accompany me on this journey.
