forum Creativity is a crime rp, anyone?

Started March 16, 2018 by @SabMatt

tune

Should I post more Phoebe backstory?)

(bye! I have to leave in about five minutes as well…)

Aww come on… bye ):

Yei ok

Phoebe tugged on her mother’s hand impatiently while they walked. “Can we cut through the Plaza, mum? Please?” Her mother, Nancy, sighed, smiling. “Okay, Okay.” Phoebe grinned, pulling her mother along at a fast walk, curving into the city’s main plaza. “Slow down, Phoebe!”
“Sorry!”, Phoebe called, slowing down as her mother had instructed. The sky above was choked with thick, grey clouds, and not a single ray of sun peeked through to greet them as they walked. A faint whirring sounded, and Phoebe paused, looking up. That was when all hell broke loose.

Fourteen planes planes dove out of the murky grey sky, crashing into people on the ground, landing on top of the fresh bodies. Phoebe screamed, pulling her mother farther as they ran, ran far and fast. They didn’t go fast enough. Masked men and women bearing guns leapt at them, surrounding them completely, closing in slowly. Phoebe gripped her mother’s hand, terrified. “Mum?” The first soldier fired. Phoebe saw the bullet fly towards her, as if in slow motion, unable to prepare herself.

Her mum lept forward, covering Phoebe’s body with hers as they both fell to the ground. The soldiers fired 34 times. Not one of the bullets hit Phoebe.

(Please critique, I know I’m bad at writing action)

(I have to go…bye!)

Aww bye!

Yay!! Thank you! Do you have any feedback/criticism?

(okay did you guys understand what happened to Micah's sister? I'm afraid I made it too subtle)

Sorta. She was going to call the police on him, and then he… killed her? I’m not sure..

(no, yours was really good and I also suck at writing action)

Thanks!

K bye ):

Yay!! I’m not alone!)

Who’s turn again?)

Also, any criticism for the paragraph above?