Damien shrugged, pushing several books back in the shelves, so they lined up perfectly with the rest.
"It's hard, but with enough time, its doable. Also a pretty good way to torture yourself a bit, if you're into that" he joked at the end, a poor attempt at trying to be funny.
"i dont think i have much talent either, i only write when i have some new ideas. I can show you some drafts if you want and you can tell me what you think"
The boy nodded, glad she found his home aspect pretty clever and safe.
"I will admit tho, i sometimes wish i could repair the whole place, to restore it the way it was. But maintaining it is already a big task for me, as it is now. I dont even use the whole house, but sometimes i just imagine what it would look like all new again."
A small blush made its way to his cheeks again, turning them that familiar shade of pink.
"Yeah… I guess so… Maybe we get to do that again soon, when we go out, who knows?"
"Sure thing! Feel free to ask me any time you want another one, and i will borrow it to you" he agreed, letting his hand drop back next to his body. He trusted Mari enough to allow her to browse his library whenever she felt like it at any time. Damien was aware of the large time gap between the books and what she was used to, but seeing her reactions at the subject they'd talked earlier, there were probably books in here she would definitely like.
"So, um, anything else you'd like to do now?"
Mari nodded a little, chuckling softly at the joke. “Yeah. I don't even know how long it would take me to read one of those kinds of books but it would definitely be torturous.” she agreed, remembering a couple of books she had to read for school… Fortunately, none of them were completely unbearable and somewhat informative at least. “Well, if you're comfortable with someone else reading your work… I would like to see your ideas.”
“It would have been nice to see this place when it was new. and it would be fun to fix up your parts of the house… without taking away from the deserted appearance…” she rambled as a suggestion even though she didn't know much about home repair or restoration. She smiled at his little blush and nodded. “Sure. That would be great. I can definitely show you around… That's pretty similar, right?” she asked, almost hopeful.
“I will. And I’ll take very good care of them.” she promised. Honestly, she did find genetics interesting but she was more interested in the age of the book and what it held than the actual topic. One of her favorite subjects was actually history, especially of older civilizations. “Umm… Actual, I do have one more question for you. It's a vampire question.” she warned, not remembering if she’d asked this one already. “Does… anything religious bother you?”
"It always takes a lot, thats for sure" he chuckled with her, bearing an expression that indicated both amusement and a small level of discomfort, most likely due to remembering the arduous process.
"Alright then, i'll go grab the notes" he smiled sheepishly, heading for the desk situated at the other side of the library.
"I only know how to maintain a house, not repair it… I dont think i could by myself" Damien pouted, looking at the walls around him, taking in the sheer size of the place. A small boy like him stood no chance at rebuilding the place, at least not the same way it was.
"I.. I think so… I'd love to go out exploring with you!"
Damien nodded in approval towards her before ducking down behind the desk, opening drawers and searching through the stuff he had put there previously. He had placed the large majority of his written pages somewhere in there, but where exactly, he didnt remember.
"Religious? As in items or the subject in general?" he asked from behind the desk, taking out several manuscripts and inspecting them.
“And sometimes it feels like it takes even longer than it actually does.” she added in complete agreement since she felt she almost understood the pain of reading something like that. “Thank you, Damien.” she said sincerely. She may not have been much of a writer herself but she knew how hard it was to show someone else what you put so much effort into.
“Hey, it's ok. I didn't mean for you to do it by yourself. If I knew more about repairing a house, I’d gladly help you out.” she assured him. Unfortunately, this was a little out of her depth. “It was just an idea.” she added softly, smiling brightly when he agreed to go exploring with her. “Great! Anywhere special you want to start?” Mari asked excitedly. Maybe they could even just start wirh the area around the house, past the parts he was already familiar with.
She was relieved that he did seem to mind the question though she wouldn't deny that she was blushing a little. “Uh, both actually.” she admitted, watching him search for his papers.
"It definitely does. Spending what feels like hours upon hours on a text when its only been just a few minutes. But one must press on, even so…"
Damien eventually placed a decent sized manuscript on the desk, before standing up himself.
"Here, this is one of the more recent ones i could find. It's a little big because i just so happened to have an idea i throught was worth. I wont guarantee its the best though" he said sheepishly, sliding the manuscript to her. It had all been written on paper yellowed by time, the dark ink being the single proof that the text was not as old as the paper. The boy's handwriting however, was interesting - it was readable, but in an interesting kind of cursive.
"Do tell me how it is after you read it"
Damien shook his head reassuringly towards her, knowing full well the two of them alone could not restore the manor back to its original form, even of they tried.
"its a good idea, we just lack the power required to do so. It's alright"
He really appreciated her ideas, though going out to explore with her was easier to achieve than rebuilding a house.
"Hmmm, how about around the greenhouse? There are plenty of places here to see, in my opinion"
Unlike with the past questions, Damien did not take time to think too much about it.
"Well, i've never been to a church before, so im not too sure about it. There was one cross in one of the rooms in here, but i never touched it or went too close, so i cant respond to that either, sorry"
“Exactly.” Mari nodded at his comment before her jaw dropped at the sight of his writing. “Wow. You sure you’re not a writer? Having an idea you put this much work into… This is very impressive just to look at.” she told him. “Beautiful penmanship too…”
She chuckled softly and nodded. “Power and the right kind of know-how.” she agreed, her smile growing a little at the mention of the greenhouse. “Sure. That sounds like a good place to start.”
“It’s ok. I just wanted to make sure…” she shrugged, deciding to err on the side of caution if became necessary when Damien was ready to go and see the town with her. Honestly, she hadn't expected him to have gone to a church because of his almost hermit-like lifestyle.
Damien initially gave her an "hm?" look before gazing down at the pile of books he'd placed down on the desk.
"Oooh, these? I just had too much free time on my hands. Plus i tried to build it as best as i could." He chuckled, lightly slapping the manuscript with his opened palm. "Ah, thank you… I learned that from my mom, she used to write like that"
"Oh yeah, definitely the knowledge as well" he agreed with her, the comment bringing back the shy smile on his face. "Would you like to do that today or another time?"
Her reaction made him frown a little bit, as he wasn't exactly sure what she meant by the whole religious thing.
"Why do you ask? Is there anything between religious objects and vampires?"
She nodded, smiling softly. “Ok, I’m actually a little jealous. I've never really had that much free time.” she admitted with a soft chuckle. “It’s absolutely beautiful. Is it calligraphy or just an older style of cursive?”
Mari chuckled lightly at his cute little smile. “Umm, either one is fine with me. I’m pretty sure I’ve got time to hang out today.” she told him.
She nodded softly at his question. “Yeah, there's a fair bit about vampires and religion. Like Holy water can burn them, a cross or crucifix can repel them… I’m sure there are others but those are the only ones coming to mind at the moment.” she said gently, holding back the one other thing she knew about the topic. But like everything else she understood about vampires was only from the myths, lore, and legends… So who really knew if it was true.
"hah, it might seem awesome at first but too much free time sometimes gets… weird. One can only last so long when always free." he laughed a little, rubbing the back of his head. Truth was, there really wasnt much for him to do in the first place, therefore he tried to occupy his time as best he could with whatever he could.
"Im not sure. Maybe both?"
Damien's face lit up, seeming to bounce a bit with excitement.
"We could go after we're finished here if you'd like"
"Whoa… i did not know about those ones. Are vampires that bad…? like evil spirits kinda bad?" he whispered softly, quite taken aback. No wonder the people back then treated him the way they did. If they believed this kind of stuff
“Yeah, that's true.” she nodded, understanding his logic. If she had all the time she needed to get things done and still had more… Well, she’d use some of that time to relax and wind down for a while, but she knew she’d get bored quick. Especially if she didn't have anyone to even talk to.
“Sure! If you want we can just put these books with my bag in your room then we can go.” Mari offered with a soft chuckle, sharing in his excitement.
Her expression softened as she nodded at his questions. “At least, in general, people think they are. As far as I know, no one has ever actually been able to prove anything about vampires.” she told him, hoping to reassure him somewhat. “I’m sure there are exceptions if that is the rule…” she added, hinting that she didn't think he was bad… at all. In fact, he was one of the sweetest people she'd ever known.
"It's a little funny, you know? Some people just want to get away from it all, and others long to go back…" he continued, as his gaze began to wonder away from Mari. "Being all alone for a long time can really mess up with your head sometimes, you know? It's a tricky situation to be in"
His adoptive mother's death had been one of those hard moments for him. Since her passing, it had taken him a few years to adjust to the new lifestyle, but he'd never quite gotten past it, despite the hardest times being long behind him now.
"Sure thing!" he chirped, putting back the files he'd placed on the floor and heading towards the bookshelf through which they came in. The boy was almost bouncing up and down, excited to go places with his friend.
"Still, there must have been some form of truth in there, if it came to rumors like that" he protested. "I just dont know how much of it is true.."
Having grown up isolated from all and never meeting his biilogical father, Damien couldnt be sure of what real vampires were like, therefore his opinion of them was highly warped. At the very least Mari thought of him positively, which made him hate his heritage a bit less
“I guess it is. Mostly I thought it just depended on if the person is introverted or extroverted.” she shrugged. “It is odd how big of a difference there can be between the two.” She looked at him, a little worried when he mentioned the mental concerns about living alone. “I’ll have to take your word for it, I’m not actually sure. I know that there are studies that say being alone for too long isn't good for anyone's health.” she said gently.
Mari chuckled at his enthusiasm and held the books close to herself as she raced over to join him, a bright smile on her face. This was something that she really enjoyed. It might be a simple expedition but it still gave her the same thrill as any time she got to explore.
“Maybe there is… I don't know how much is true either. Maybe it was just a few bad apples who ruined the name or… It could also be the opposite.” she admitted a little sheepishly. She’d heard lots of fantasy and fiction stories and not all of them were kind to the mysterious nocturnal creatures… There were others with just plain bad characters and very poor storytelling. But none of that was conclusive or proven as fact.
The boy was about to add something else, but stopped at the two new unfamiliar terms. His gaze seemed to wander into the void for a little while before moving upwards toward her face, with a slightly shy expression, like he was apologizing for his lack of knowledge with the next question.
"Um, what are extroverts and introverts…?" he popped the question.
Knowing each other for so little, it was a bit hard to see, but Damien was a bit of a tangled ball when it came to emotions. Loneliness coupled with some past trauma had shaken him up a bit - not too much - but he would still require a bit of careful handling to properly unwind in the future. It was probably not as bad as it could have been however, with almost two centuries behind him he was doing pretty well.
"There's studies for that as well now? That's interesting"
As the last time, he pushed the bookcase aside - it must have been on wheels or pretty light, if a skinny boy like Damien could do it - after fumbling a bit with his hand on its side, then motioned for her to walk in first.
Damien shrugged at her comment, not knowing what to say about the matter. Who knew, perhaps there was a possibility for some vampires to be somewhat nice - his mother had always referred to his father fondly, making him sound like a nice person in general - so why not? It was the reaction of the normal people that put him on edge; sure, maybe vampires were generally hated for multiple reasons, but he just felt so small against everything he was supposed to face because he just happened to be a vampire.
"I've no idea…. i just hope it was the first option though…" he said, not too positive about it. So far there were tons of points in the bad category and next to none in the good category, which didn't really convince Damien that perhaps being a vampire wasn't as bad as people two centuries ago had made it out to be
(Happy New Year to you too!!)
“Oh… Those are personality types. Introverts are usually shy, quiet, and are more thoughtful while extroverts are more outgoing, party people, and much more expressive.” she explained, not realizing that those terms were new to him. For someone who loved history and learning about it, she was shamefully forgetful on dates of when something was discovered. “Yeah, a lot of people study the human mind. How it reacts to certain things like stress, isolation, fatigue. You name it, it's probably been studied.” she told him.
Mari smiled at him and carefully stepped into the passage, giving him enough room to join her and close the door. She hadn't really thought about the possible weight of the shelf. Either it was very light, even with the books on it, or he had some degree of strength hidden in his small body.
“I hope so too.” she admitted softly. “Though after meeting you and hearing how you talk about your mother… I’m sure your mom wouldn't have spent time with someone who was… a jerk, to put it mildly. You and your dad must have been some of the good ones.” she told him a bit more firmly, almost sure of the fact.
"Ah, i see. Would i classify as an introvert then? With the whole shy part i mean"
It was intriguing for him to learn that people could be divided by personality types, making him even more curious to find out more about the subject, perhaps in the future.
"That's fascinating! And do these studies help with anything generally?"
With Mari now in the passage, Damien could finally close the door back up again and seemingly latch it shut from within, sinking them both into darkness. Immediately after the small click of the latch, the boy turned around - gesture made clearer by the fact his pupil gave off a faint shine in the dark - and gently grabbed her arm, leading her back towards the room where they'd left all of their baggage in.
"I guess… Mom sometimes said i might get to meet him once he came back home, but he never did." he said, slightly hesitant, thinking of all the times the mysterious male figure had been brought up in his life. "But i do agree he was probably nice. Thanks for the encouragement though."
She shrugged a little. “I think so… I mean, it wouldn't surprise me if you were but there's nothing wrong with that.” she told him. “I’m actually something of an ambivert; someone who walks the line between extrovert and introvert.”
Mari was very grateful for Damien’s guiding hand on her arm. She was a little surprised by the gleam of light in his eye but wrote it off as just one of his unique quirks as she followed him.
“Well, I hope you still get the chance to meet him… somehow.” she said honestly, gently placing her hand on his. “Did you ever see him before? I mean, he does know about you right?” she asked.
"How does that work, exactly?" he questioned, tilting his head in his usual curious manner. He understood a little bit when it came to personality types like how some could be more withdrawn the way he was, or more outgoing and friendlier, like his mom or Mari were, or just mean and scary like the other people he'd encountered, but he hadn't been out there in the world enough to realize there could be mixes between them nor how they worked exactly.
Slowly but surely, the two made their way through the dark tunnel, guided by the boy's sure steps that had been through them so many times along the years. Unlike last time, Damien seemed to take a different turn, which led them both to a different door - a loose floorboard tile, which the boy pushed up, climbing out then assisting his friend. The room in which they'd end up was the familiar kitchen next to the room where Damien lived.
He shook his head, with a defeated expression on his face, sighing.
"I dont know… im not even sure he's around anymore, and even if he was, how would i know its him? And would he even want anything to do with me, after all this time?" he argued, resting against a table. Ever since he'd been separated from his mother, most of the hoped he'd had for the future had faded away into nothing. Alone, in a new place, surrounded by strangers that he had grown to fear, he didn't know where to go or what to do, let alone go find his father. His name had long escaped his memory, so how was he going to find him anyway?
"We never met in person, he left before i was born.' he continued, inwardly grateful she held a hand over his. "But mom always sent him letters, and he sent back gifts sometimes. So i'm sure he knew of me, just never saw me."
“Well, it just means that I have enough traits to be considered both. I can be absolutely content to just sit in the quiet in my room with a book for hours or have fun at a loud party and it not bother me.” she explained, hoping that cleared up the term for him.
Mari was more cautious of her steps as she followed Damien since he obviously been down this path dozens of times. She stumbled a little when he made a corner she didn't know was even there but she trusted him. Her jaw dropped when he moved the tile and brought her into the kitchen. “Wow! Is there anywhere these tunnels don't lead to?”
She looked at him sympathetically, trying not to give the impression of pity. She couldn't say anything on whether or not his dad was still around so she just nodded slightly.”Maybe he’d know you? I don't know how much you look like him or if you take more after your mom but I don't think that there would be that many half human half vampire kids around your age. If you run into each other someday and he's smart, he should know it's you.” she consoled. “What wouldn't he want with you? You’re still family. And he could teach you a lot, answer any questions you have. If your mom wrote him and he sent you presents, then he sounds like a good guy.”
Well, now that made a lot more sense - actually it sounded a lot like what a normal person would do, at least from what his mother had told him people do.
"Ooh, so that's it. Sounds pretty fun actually, to be able to enjoy all of it" he said, more like for himself, judging by the look on his face.
The boy chuckled a bit, as he was pushing the tile back in its place.
"Just the front of the mansion and the green house. Mother used to say those places have a direct exit to the outside, so theres no need for a tunnel there. The farthest they will go is at least one or two rooms before them"
Damien sighed again, shaking his head.
"I'm not that sure…" he whimpered. "I guess you'd be right about me being the only half breed kid my age, but how would we even run into each other? i have no idea if he even is in the area."
He didn't have much hope when it came to reuniting with his estranged parent whom he hadn't even met, especially because of all the clues he was missing. There was a whole world out there and he was just one person, way too behind on everything going on.
"I dont know, who's to say he hasn't forgotten about me in the meantime? I never managed to send any letter to him, he doesn't even know if i'm alive. if only i knew where to start looking, maybe then i could perhaps try find him, tho i'm still very unsure about it."
If he had to be honest, a small part of him did want to meet his father, but on the other side, he still harbored a weird sense of tension when it came to adults, especially men. Had he carried this conversation back when he was still with his mom, before his trauma, then he would have been quite eager to meet him, but now he wasn't as sure.
She smiled at him and nodded a little. “Well, I think it is. It feels like a nice balance… Though there are times when I can't tell which I feel like doing.” she admitted. It was enough to drive her a little crazy when that happened. “Oh, I’m sorry. You asked a question earlier and I completely missed it. I think it was about those mind studies I told you about?” she asked, feeling a little embarrassed that she had forgotten until now.
Mari grinned, glad to hear him laughing and more relaxed, and nodded again. “That makes sense. Those areas don't really need a secret exit so there's no point for them to open there.” she noted.
She sighed a little when he whimpered like that and carefully set the books on the table before taking a step towards him. With gentle motions she softly wrapped her arms around him, hugging him. “There are ways to find people if you really want to find them. It doesn't always matter where they are.” she assured him softly. One of the first ways she could think of was to put a message in the newspaper or a missing persons article on the web, but that might be a little too much public attention for Damien and his father. “If he's a good man, a good father, then he wouldn't have forgotten you. No good parent would. He probably just doesn't know where you are.” she pointed out as she remembered him saying that he had been sent away… and his parents probably had a meeting place planned out. Damien just… never made it there. “I’m sure there's a way to find where you lived before, if your dad is still there…”
"With so many options, i can see why you'd be stumped sometimes" he giggled lightly, finding the whole thing a little amusing. To have so many options of what to do that you got stuck in them, he could only imagine what that felt like. "Oh, I did? Don't worry, i'd forgotten about it too. But i'm still curious to know the answer if you would still like to tell me"
The boy replied with a smile of his own, stepping on the tile to ensure it didn't jiggle in its place.
'They'd also be easier to discover if they were there. Perfect entrances for unwanted guests, and no one wants those" he added.
Damien tensed up for a second as the girl wrapped his arms around him, before relaxing and resting his cheek on her shoulder. The last hug he'd ever received had been from his adoptive mother, right before she passed; to receive one again, after so many years, it brought back memories for him. It felt nice.
"If there's ways… could you help me find him?"
With all his doubts and hesitations, the small wish to meet his parent pushed Damien to finally pop the question. It was a lot of him to ask her that, but if there was at least one glimmer of hope, then he would take that chance to try and look for him. At least he would know he did all he could.
She smiled a little at his first comment. Honestly, it was a little less of having so many options and more of being slightly overwhelmed when she made the wrong choice. “Yeah… I think you asked if studying the human mind was generally helpful. And the answer to that is definitely a yes. Because of those studies, it's easier for people to know or recognize when something is wrong with them mentally.” she told him. “Though people still have a hard time admitting that they need to get help for it.”
She chuckled softly and nodded. “Well, I don't know… They seem pretty well-hidden to me. But if someone got lucky, then I see the problem.”
Mari was a little nervous that she had overstepped their boundaries when she hugged him, but was very relieved when he didn't pull away. She had just wanted him to feel better. At his question she smiled softly and nodded. “I’ll do my best. I can't make any promises that I’ll be successful but I’ll do what I can.” she said sincerely. Honestly, she didn't have much to go on at the moment to find Damien’s father… but that didn't stop people from searching for El Dorado or Atlantis. And if they were able to find clues and keep looking, than so would she.
"Why would they not want to admit they might need help? Are they scared?" he asked. Surely, if someone was a bit sick in the head then getting help should have been the first thing they did, right? Or was there some kind of stigma attached to it, like people of the old did?
He confirmed her statement with a nod, making his way to the door, so they could go back into the room, to put the books away.
"Thank you… Just.. thank you" he whispered softly into her ear, as he was resting on her shoulder, closing his eye. Even if she couldn't help too much, at the very least she was willing to, which meant so much for Damien and he was very thankful for it.
Mari shrugged a little at his question. “I’m not sure. There's a lot of reasons that people will give you for not getting help though.” she told him. “It’s too expensive. I don't need it. I’m fine.… And not everyone has a positive view of psychiatric help.” she explained.
(Once she released him from the hug she picked up the books and followed him back to his room.)
“Don’t thank me yet.” she whispered back, holding him a little closer for a moment before slowly letting go. “I don't know how much I'll actually be able to help… But I will try.”
Given the response, Damien frowned slightly, intrigued by the reasons one could produce to avoid getting help. It felt so bizarre to him.
"Why would they not have a positive view? I mean, its supposed to help them right?"
In the room, the boy gathered some of the things she'd brought to him, arranging them in neat little piles so he could inspect them carefully later on.
"So, we go exploring now, right?"
Damien shook his head at her comment, saying:
"I'm most grateful for the fact you are willing to help me, and thats what matters the most to me right now. im not sure we're gonna succeed either, but its the effort that counts."
“I’m not sure. Most people just have a hard time asking for help in general.” Mari answered. “You’re right. It is supposed to, and usually does, but… I think it's the fact that psychiatrists used to treat people who were clinically insane and no one wants to be associated with that just for minor help.”
While he was sorting his new possessions, she carefully placed the books in her bag. “Sure!” she nodded, excitedly.
Mari found herself blushing at his comment. “Well, of course, I’m willing to help you. You're my friend, Damien.” she reminded him with a gentle smile.
"i never quite understood the stigma about mental illness. I mean, sure, no one wants to be around a crazy person but still…" he muttered, lost in throught.
"This way" he led down the usual steps and corridor, but this time through a different set of rooms, leading to the promised green house. It was Damien who opened the large door, revealing the lush green landscape within.
Being reminded he did have a friend made the boy feel a pleasant warmth in his chest, which he really enjoyed.
"But, where would we even start looking?" he asked, after returning her smile.
“Me neither.” she agreed softly with a shrug. “I also don't understand why some people are so reluctant to ask for help when they need it.” she added, even though there were times when she had that problem too.
She smiled eagerly and followed Damien through the house. It may have been a simple thing but she was excited to see the indoor garden and the plants growing in it. When he opened the door to all the greenery, Mari took a careful step in and breathed in the scent.
She smiled softly at him. “Well, we can always start at the library. That's a great place for research and… Even though you never met him, you know more about him than I do. Maybe your mom might have mentioned something… Oh! You don't happen to have those letters, do you?” she asked. It may be a long shot but it still seemed like a lead.
