"I can take it! I just…" he sighed quietly and kissed Padlock on the cheek, though he was obviously relieved as he slumped up against his chest. His hands slowed down in Pad's hair, running through it slowly. "… I'm not really good with it when it's about… this stuff. Like… liking me stuff." There were some bad memories there, stuff he did his best not to think about that still left him tying himself in knots inside.
He had to admit, he was a bit surprised by the confession, but it made sense. It certainly explained why Padlock went all pink and red every time he got affectionate. "Oh. Well… first off, you don't really seem like a player. You're… you're sweet. And even if you are basically a bad boy out of some shitty rom-com, you don't really have like… game. But! Um… I'm kind of hyper focusing on something that doesn't matter, aren't I?" He rubbed the back of his neck, a little sheepish.
"What I really mean is… that's… that's fine." He leaned in a little closer, glancing from Padlock's eyes to his lips. "It's kind of cute, honestly, and it doesn't change anything. I still wanna kiss you. If… um…" His cheeks went a little pink but he was smiling, relieved to know why Padlock seemed so skittish. "If you still wanna kiss me, I mean."
“Is it bad that I kind of like that title?” he asked, letting out another laugh. “Moody bad boy stereotype. It’s not the best, but I’ll take it.”
He shifted, adjusting his arms so his shoulders didn’t hurt quite so bad. His palms were burning and the ache was worse than ever, probably due to the medication wearing off and the fact that he wasn’t sleeping right, not being regulated. Still, his mind was elsewhere. No matter how bad the pain, his heart wasn’t paying attention to it.
“And— I don’t know how many times I have to tell you,” he continued, tilting his head to the side. “You want me to make a clearer answer? I figured it already worked, but if you need to hear me say yes, then I’ll do it. Do I want more with you? Yes.”
He raised an eyebrow, still holding that teasing smile on his face. He slowly uncrossed his arms, wrapping them around Phantom’s waist. He figured he’d probably have to put in a little more effort, even if he truly wanted to be as stubborn and sarcastic as he was being.
“How’s that?”
"It's not bad, it's just you accepting who you are. And who you are happens to be a bad boy stereotype with a lot more behind the eyes." Val gave him a sunny little smile, one that only got brighter as he finally got a clear yes. When Padlock wrapped his arms around him too it was pretty much heaven, and he was all too happy to bicker playfully in return.
"Alright, just for the record I may be flirty but this skull is fucking thick, so I'm not really gonna be at ease unless I get a nice yes or no all wrapped up and tied with a bow." He was definitely more chipper now. His hand slid down from Padlock's hair to settle on the back of his neck, tapping idly. Towing him in a little closer. "And now that I've gotten one, I can safely say that it's pretty damn good and I think I'll be collecting on my kiss."
With that, he leaned in, pressing their lips together gently. It was a nice kiss, all things considered. Warm, soft, maybe a little hesitant but that was just how first kisses happened. Chaste, above all else, because this was Padlock's first first kiss and it needed to be good.
Padlock only broke it off to be the stupidly giggly happy self he felt like. It was like he was finally in one place— finally focused on something other than his goal. It all seemed so far off now, because he wasn’t under the city, he wasn’t cold and wrapped up in a leather jacket and he wasn’t alone. He was with Phantom— with Valentine, more the like— and it was refreshing. It was new, it was weird, and it was enjoyable. It made him all giddy and shaky and excited and made him feel like jumping out of another window, but just for the sake of flying.
It seemed his senses were enhanced times a thousand, the fact that he could hear the blood pumping in his ears, and feel every movement through the wraps on his hands, just added to that feeling. He could see the sunlight through his eyelids, and he smiled. The first time in a long time, it was genuine.
He wanted to stop. To go back and introduce himself. To maybe get a real job. To maybe, just maybe, live a real life— here, with Val. And they could be Valentine and Solomon, not just Phantom and Padlock.
Although, just like his goal, it seemed so far off. But… he could just say it, right now. Tell Val his name. Tell Val his story. And, if Val still felt the same, he’d be safe. He’d be okay. He’d realize that his new ‘daydream’ of his wasn’t actually as distant as it may seem.
“This is hard when I can’t stop smiling,” he whispered breathily, cheeks still lightly red as he laughed. “I’m sorry, I don’t know what I’m doing.”
Valentine was grinning as they pulled apart. Padlock talked so big but he got so soft after one little kiss, it was enough to make his heart melt in his chest. He gave him another peck, then another, and then paused to laugh because he was smiling too wide to keep going. Shit, maybe he got soft after one little kiss too.
"It's fine!" He tried to tamp down the grin so he could talk without looking like a lovesick idiot but it didn't really work. Honestly, he was sort of glad it didn't. It meant he could show Padlock that he was just as excited about this as he was. "Way better than my first kiss, and honestly it's… it's kind of cute." He reached up to cup Padlock's cheek, rubbing over the blush a few times. Unfair that Padlock could be so adorable when he was normally all dark and mysterious, but it wasn't like he could complain.
"I don't think I've ever seen you go so red before," he teased, kissing Padlock again. It was a little longer this time, a little less chaste, but he stopped before anything could really happen. "Maybe I should kiss you more often, hm? I didn't realize it was so easy to get you flustered and I really didn't realize that you'd look so cute while I did it. Do you always get this flushed when I'm close to you?"
If it was possible, Solo looked even redder, the bridge of his face a brilliant rosy hue. He had to pull himself back, possibly leaning too far in and lingering there, even when Phantom had pulled away. It took him just a little too long to come too again, his entire sensory system with the exception of touch doing the complete opposite and shutting down instead. Like there was a white canvas, and Val and Solo were the only two people there.
Phantom’s words were what cut him out of his daze. He fluttered his eyes back open, but it felt like everything he did was in slow motion.
“Considering the helmet, I guess you’ll never know…,” he purred, letting his voice drift as melodically as he could make it. “But, in all honesty, no it’s not hard to make me like this apparently. You seem to be doing a pretty bang-up job so far.”
He flicked his eyes down to his arms, then back up to meet Val’s eyes.
“It won’t be like that forever, though,” he said deviously. “If you make it a regular thing. Or maybe it will be. I don’t know how it works yet.
“Seems we’ll have to find out, won’t we?”
Val kept his hands on Padlock even as he pulled away, still running over his cheekbones again and again because it never stopped surprising him how red Pads got when he was kissed. His eyes were half lidded as he glanced over at Padlock and he had to admit, he was kind of impressed when he spoke and there wasn't even a tremor in his voice. Then again, he was kind of the master of playing it cool.
"I'd be delighted to." He leaned in for another kiss, small this time. Short. He kind of wanted to pin Padlock properly instead of just sitting in his lap and it was absolutely freeing to realize that he could. No hesitation. No agonizing over whether he'd like it. A smile split his face and he pushed Pad down gently, pinning his shoulders with a small smirk before he leaned down to capture his lips in a slow, heated kiss.
It wasn't a very good pin, sure, but Padlock had come out of the other kisses looking all punch drunk and dazed so he was pretty sure he wouldn't be facing any resistance. He bit the villain's lip as he pulled away, trailing soft kisses up his jaw. "How was that for a first attempt? Got any critiques for me?"
Solo had to keep his breathing steady, this one leaving him nearly speechless as he held onto it as long as he could. He felt all fuzzy, his entire body abuzz with a certain kind of static wherever Phantom touched him. It was only cut short by the terrible anching in his shoulders where Val had pushed him down. He let him, trying not to protest, and to keep the pain down as best he could.
He let out a shaky breath as his arms fell back to his sides, and whether it was from the pain or the sheer fact that he found moving extremely difficult, he didn’t know.
“You think I have critiques?” he breathed, eyes still closed as he leaned further into Val’s touch. “Now, that’s funny. You know, whatever you do, I probably couldn’t tell great from terrible.”
His eyes flickered up to Val again, nearly letting out a whimper as he cascaded those kisses down his jaw.
Yeah, Padlock could bear the pain, if this is what it was for. So, he didn’t show it at all.
“But… this seems to be pretty… wonderful so far.”
Val seemed to remember his shoulders after a few seconds because his hands shifted down to push on his chest instead and he pressed a soft kiss to Padlock's cheek. Not explicitly apologetic, but as close as he could get without ruining the moment. He didn't want to pull Padlock out of this if he didn't have to, not when he seemed so excited. So at ease, letting Val follow the curve of his jaw to his throat.
The skin was softer here, paler, and he could bite, maybe. Leave marks all over his skin. He refrained, of course. It was all chaste little pecks down to his collarbones, and then Padlock was answering his question and he was leaning up to kiss him on the lips again as he finished up. Soft, that was what this kiss was. The gentlest little brush of lips because as much as he wanted to go hot and heavy, Padlock deserved someone who would take it nice and slow. Someone who would let him take his time exploring this.
"As flattered as I am, I want you to tell me if something does feel bad." He pushed down on Padlock gently, not so subtly enjoying being the one on top for once. Padlock always managed to pin him when they fought. "This is all a sort of slippery slope and I'd really hate to make it upsetting or painful or even uncomfortable for you. You deserve better than that."
Solo managed a laugh, although it was a bit dodgy and hitched from the way he let out another shaky breath. No doubt, Phantom could probably feel his heart beat faster and faster, little skips that he both hated and loved. However much he had desperately wanted to keep his guard up before, that all melted away. Right now, it did seem like it was just Val and Solo. No one trying to stop the other, no one jumping out of buildings, no running from the other.
It had all happened so fast. Even though he had been pining after Phantom— though he hated admitting it— for over a year. Who knew, all he had to do was noticeably get himself hurt. Sure, he had accidentally hurt himself numerous times, but he figured Phantom hadn’t seen any of the other ones, even if he showed up the next ‘encounter’ with many, many new scars. Granted, it wasn’t like he showed them off either, always keeping something over the lengths of his body.
But, right now, everything was different. For once, Phantom was the one in charge. The one who had all the liberty. Padlock had never felt so vulnerable— so blatantly out of control. But at the same time, he didn’t hate it— liked it, in fact— more than he’d probably like to admit.
“Why thank you for your concern, and it’s bold of you to assume I wouldn’t speak my mind,” he replied, his voice still a softer whisper. “You seem to know me better than that.”
Val laughed and ran his hands down Padlock's chest. He really wanted the shirt gone, but he figured he should be at least a little courteous and work up to that. Besides, he'd seen plenty of Pad's chest yesterday. For now he just wanted to kiss him. Especially since he figured he had a couple of days before Pad left the nest again. They had plenty of time to get closer, so why not take it slow?
Why not take all the time they had and spend it on the things that mattered, like actually talking for once and trying to do couple-y things. Who knew, he might even take Padlock out on a date. Or… try to anyways. He didn't think his boyfriend (were they boyfriends?) would be all that receptive.
"I do, but…" he softened a bit, leaning in for a quick kiss. "It's just that this is different, is all. There's a lot of pressure with this stuff that you don't feel everywhere else and I wanna make sure you're not staying quiet 'cause you think I'll stop wanting to be around you." It was really important to him that Padlock felt comfortable enough to talk to him and granted, that had never been a problem before, but they'd also never been together before so he figured some new issues would arise.
"But since you're doing so well, why don't you come up here and kiss me this time?"
“Even with that pressure and all that ‘together’ jazz, I’m still the same old Sol— Padlock that you know and love,” he said, his voice hitching slightly. His face suddenly went blank and his heart sped even faster than it had been, which was probably a dangerous thing considering the speed, but that clearly was not his concern right now.
How could he be so stupid? Most importantly, how could he potentially backtrack? Just pretend like it was a slur? Pretend like the whole situation left him all loopy? Well, he wouldn’t have to pretend that part. That’s how he had almost let his name slip in the first place.
Or, maybe if he played it off, Phantom wouldn’t even know.
In that case…
“Oh, really?” he asked, trying to retreat back to his somewhat sultry tone. Almost as if to keep Phantom from asking any more questions, and the fact that he genuinely wanted to, Padlock leaned up, flicking his gaze up to the man’s eyes for a moment before closing them again and leaning in. Just like Val had previously done, Solo kissed him, hesitantly at first and much softer, but continuing to lean into it as he grew more comfortable. Though, in his mind, he just pleaded that Val wouldn’t ask any questions.
Valentine would have to be blind to not notice the screw up because Padlock's face got all twisty after and as cute as it was to hear his voice hitch, there was a distinct note of distress in there. He wanted to question it so bad it practically made him itch, but there was really only one thing it could be and he wasn't going to push Padlock for his real name. That was something he had to earn and he was sure he would, but that kind of thing took time. Especially when the person you were trying to wheedle it out of was Padlock.
He laughed a little as Padlock kissed him and soon he was responding in kind. He didn't try to control the it this time, just tilted his head to the side a bit and reached up to push Pad into a slightly better angle. There weren't any fireworks the way he'd hoped there might be, but this was just as good because he felt golden all over, like the softness was seeping into his soul a little.
It left him all smiley as he pulled away, tucking a strand of hair behind his ear while his cheeks went pink. "And you said you weren't good at this." He pushed Padlock down again, smirking at him. Brushing right over his little mistake. "You're already a natural, even if you do get a little loopy after you let me have my way with you. Are you sure I'm your first kiss?"
No proper word could explain the relief Padlock felt when Phantom ceased from asking questions. But at the same time, he wasn’t…
He wanted Phantom to know who he really was. That was the first step to normal. But… that would also be the first step to trouble, if that’s where he found himself. No, he’d wait until he fully trusted Phantom. That would be something the man had to ear.
“Mmhm,” he replied, smiling contentedly as he was pushed back down. “Positive. You really think highly of me, I suppose.”
Pad let out another laugh, taking his arms and wrapping them around Phantom once more. He tried his best to lace his fingers around the man’s back, to little avail due to the wraps, but he made his best effort, and it worked decently well. He pursed his lips, keeping his mind off the pain.
“I guess I’ll take that as a compliment, hmm?” he asked, tilting his head slightly. His whole body was still abuzz, eyes shining with that playful twinkle.
Val kissed his cheek with a soft smile and leaned in to steal another short kiss when Pad took a break to laugh. "Of course I think highly of you, I don't get all blushy smiley over any guy who walks down the street." He had to admit, he did have a bit of a type, but that wasn't anyone's problem but his own. And hey, it had netted him Padlock, so honestly he should be congratulating himself for his good taste.
"It's a very high compliment coming from me. Normally kisses don't get me all excited but you seem to be my one exception 'cause I don't think I ever wanna stop kissing you." He kissed Padlock again to prove his point. And then again, humming happily as he was wrapped up in Pad's arms. And then one last time, all long and heated, where he nipped teasingly at Padlock's bottom lipped and only pulled away because he loved seeing the look on Pad's face when he did. Loved how dazed he seemed for the seconds before he readjusted.
"Or… I don't wanna stop for more than a few continuous minutes. I like pausing to talk and you're really cute when you're trying to sound all flirty."
And dazed he certainly was, as he tried to gather himself again, the feeling still lingering there mockingly, teasing him. Sure, Padlock loved sarcastic mockery, but he couldn’t say he was too keen on being on the receiving end of it. Still, it didn’t bother him much, wanting to last like this for as long as he could.
“Oh, really?” he asked. “So I’m special?”
He quieted with Phantom’s next words, shaking his head as he felt his mind go all blurry again. It was almost like being drowsy, like all his words just morphed together and his mind slurred, and he felt all tired and buzzy and like he could fall asleep— like his eyes begged to stay closed. He was warm and he was comfortable and he was happy.
“You don’t have to stop kissing me,” he muttered, voice slightly heavier. “But what do you mean trying to sound flirty? I thought I was doing a pretty good job. Is it not enough for you?”
He wagged his head humorously, hair fluffed slightly by the pillow beneath.
(just fyi, I'm probably not going to be on until the day after tomorrow b/c I'm finally seeing my friends again)
"You're so special." Val meant to sound teasing but his words came out all warm and soft and honestly, he wouldn't change a thing about them. Maybe they could put away the teasing for a little while. Try out some sincerity, the way they'd been doing more and more often this morning. "Sweetest guy I've ever laid eyes on, I swear."
He reached up to smooth Padlock's hair a bit and he was just… so pretty, in the softest, sharpest sort of way. Cute was good for the warm little moments where he tried to put himself back together and hot was good for teasing and wrestling and fighting in the careful way they fought these days, never wanting to hurt the other too badly, but pretty really cut to the heart of it. All sharp lines and sharp sarcasm mixed in with the softest smiles Val had ever been given.
It took him a while to speak and he flushed when he did, realizing it was probably a bit rude to just drift off in the middle of a conversation. "It's not that it's not enough for me, sweetheart." Were pet names okay? "It's just that I think you're a tad too dazed to be doing your best work." He gave Padlock a soft kiss, sweet. "Honestly, that's flattering enough. I never thought I'd be able to get you all fuzzed out with a few kisses."
(Cool, no worries. Have fun!)
“Too dazed to be doing my best work?” he hummed, tilting his head up to lean into Val’s hand. “Well isn’t that something.”
He shifted, adjusting his arms so he didn’t have to keep his shoulders suspended. He let them rest back by his sides as he winced, feeling one of his palms shoot a searing pain through his forearm. God, they were so inconvenient, but Pad really had no one else to blame but himself. Which sucked, because he really hated when his plans didn’t result in something he enjoyed.
Well, in hindsight, that’s actually exactly what it had done. He was here, wasn’t he? That was something. He was here with this odd angelic version of Phantom, the sun hitting both of them perfectly through the window like this was some kind of movie.
Pfft, yeah. It totally resulted in something he enjoyed.
“So, is that saying you think I’ll be better if I’m not dazed?” he asked, smile still present, so prominent that one could hear it in his voice. “Because, based on your initial reaction, it seems like I’d be pretty breathtaking.”
(back a bit early!!)
Val's smile slipped away as Padlock winced and he reached down, fingers ghosting over his shoulders. He did his best to perk up when Pad started talking again, attention back on his face instead of his injuries, but the worry was in his head now and he couldn't quite get rid of it.
"What I'm saying is that you're really cute like this but you're not exactly thinking your fastest." His eyes flicked over to Pad's shoulders in the second before he leaned in and kissed him, all soft. Ridiculous, maybe. Kissing him harder would probably distract him from the pain now that he thought about it, but he was too anxious to try. He'd already messed up once and shoved on Pad's shoulders and he was probably achey enough without Val making things worse. "So yeah, you're fucking… so gorgeous, but you're not in tip top shape for verbal sparring."
He pecked Padlock on the nose with a playful little smile. "Doesn't seem like you mind too much, though. You like kissing me a whole lot, huh?"
(Welcome back, hope you had fun :D Sorry for the late reply)
“What? Nooooo,” he said, the last word all drawled out sarcastically. “You’re insane if you think that.”
Pad let out another smile, tilting his head tauntingly as he listened carefully to Phantom’s words. He had to admit— being complimented like this was such a foreign delicacy that he didn’t really know how to respond to. It wasn’t familiar, whatsoever.
“But… perhaps,” he cooed, adverting his eyes. “Though, don’t get too cocky.”
He paused, thinking for a moment before meeting Val’s eyes again. His smiled seemed lessened, his hands clenching and unclenching subconsciously, triggering that stupid searing pain throughout his hands. It sure helped him out of his daze, like an emergency button, but not that it was pleasant at all. He just… he needed to be on guard a little better. Phantom was right— Solomon was completely off in that damn wonderland, and he had almost let his name slip. That was enough.
He cleared his throat, trying to collect himself. Still, his eyes danced around Val’s face aimlessly, and he really couldn’t help but smile again.
“Are we… are we doing this?” he asked quietly. “Like… the whole ‘us’ thing?”
Carefully, he put a hand up, backtracking quickly.
“N-Not that I don’t want to, I’m just so confused. I have questions..”
(I did have fun, thanks! Also it's np, it's good to see you!)
Val laughed and his smile was so wide that he couldn't have gotten rid of it even if he wanted to. And he didn't. God knew he really, really, didn't. He hadn't been this excited in years and sure, that excitement also came with a whole lot of nerves, but it was worth it a million times over. This was something he trusted, something he thought might be more—like serious relationship more, maybe like love more—if he gave it time.
Padlock was a little hard to read, one second he was agreeing to some lighthearted teasing and the next his smile was fading away, and that was a bit frustrating but he couldn't say he blamed Pad for being nervous. He'd be nervous if this was his first time too. Hell, it kind of was his first time. As much as he liked being with people, he'd never really done relationships before. Not real ones. Not ones that mattered.
So when he got the questions, he took a few seconds to really think before he answered them. More effort than he usually spent talking, but Pad was worth it. "I mean… I certainly want us to be." He sat back a little gently pulling Padlock back into a sitting position. Probably better for them to be on even footing, literally and metaphorically. "And… just so we're on the same page here, I'm… I'm new to the whole us thing too. Even if I've had my practice with… y'know, more."
He went a little pink at the admission, embarrassed. Ashamed. It was usually his fault things stayed light, he'd never been very good at getting invested for more than a few weeks. Of course, some of that was the fact that he was pining away for Padlock, which he hoped would account for some of it.
"But! Um… why don't you tell me your questions. And then we can work things out together."
(Glad! And nice seeing you too!)
Padlock nodded, his eyes flicking elsewhere as he tried to decide what he was doing. Why couldn’t he just leave it? Play off this whole thing like everything was fine, and that there were no complications at all? Just act like the entire situation was perfect, no questions or inklings needed.
Maybe it was because he cared. Maybe it was because he actually wanted this to work, like it always did in the movies. Still, Solo couldn’t accept the fact that this was so uncanny— that it had so many holes he just couldn’t automatically fill without a set answer.
“I just… I don’t understand this,” he said, a slight growl to his voice as he admitted it. “Which is so weird, because I understand everything— not to sound so full of myself, but I take pride in my mind.”
He sighed, looking down to his broken hands, seeing the wraps stained with blood. He had never minded seeing his own blood, but this time, it was almost mocking. Reminding him of what his job really was.
“You.. you’ve been literally trying to stop me for years now. You can— You can just put all of that aside and ask for something like this?” His voice grew softer as his words went on, eyes still drawn to his palms.
Pad took a moment, closing his eyes before he glanced back to Val again. He shook his head, as if that would somehow help him comprehend it.
“I’ve narrowed it down,” he continued. “Either you’re being employed by someone else, or you’re doing this on your own terms. Based on your… feelings.. toward me, I would assume the first one, because that means you’re not just trying to stop me for the sake of your moral compass. But then, that raises the question of ‘who wants me taken down, and at what lengths will they go to do so.’ If that’s the case, then this… ‘affiliation’ may be dangerous— not only for me.”
And that wasn’t even counting if Phantom was somehow in league with these employers, just using ‘romance’ as a way to gain information. Although that was a previous lingering thought, Padlock decided it was something he’d rather push down than thing about right now.
"Yeah, I'm employed. It's just a part time job that happens to include running into you, what I do outside of it isn't anyone's business but my own." Val did his best to sound confident, but he had to admit that Padlock had a point. Working around his bosses would be strange, considering that he didn't know specifically who they were. Or how closely they kept tabs on him. Or what they'd do if they found out that he was dating the guy they sent him out to stop the most often.
"But to directly answer your question, I… um… I don't really see anything to set aside??" He ran a hand through his hair, laughing quietly. Definitely not nervously. "I like you and you're not a bad person so I don't really think there's anything wrong with us being… us. Y'know?
"And to answer the less direct question, I work for the government. State police technically, but there's a bit of grey area because the agency's also sort of an independent LEA on it's own." He shrugged, pressing closer. "It's complicated, but either way, it's not something that carries into my personal life. They don't have the resources to keep tabs on everyone and I'm not exactly high profile. I just… moonlight, I guess. Makes me feel like I'm living up to expectations."
Padlock sighed, clearly not getting the answer he wanted to hear. But what did he want to hear? What words would have made him happy? Unless they were some kind of words from one of his stupid dreams, he guessed anything of explanation would have made him feel like this.
“I want to trust you,” he said, voice almost breaking. “I really want to trust you.”
He looked back down for a considerably long amount of time, resisting the urge to grab on to one of Phantom’s hands.
The phrase ‘what am I doing’ was on repeat like a broken record in Pad’s mind. Whether he was asking how he could have ruined that wonderful of a moment, or how he could have even gotten himself that vulnerable in the first place, he didn’t know.
“But there are people behind you. And, based on what I’ve done, they probably want me more than dead. I don’t…”
Solomon took another moment, sucking in a deep breath and holding it for a while, before exhaling slowly.
“I don’t know if I can live that close to something— someone— who wants my work put to an end. Maybe they see me as the villain. Maybe.. maybe I’m really not the hero I thought I was. But— But I believe I’m doing the right thing. I think my work will result in a world better than what it is now. I… I have visions, and they need to be executed. If this is going to be any sort of faulty bridge, I don’t know if I can cross it. Especially… if those people are waiting for me on the other side.”
It wasn't like Val hadn't expected something like this, but the words still hit him like a punch to the gut. He had to swallow a few times before he could speak and even though there were a million things running through his head like please and I'm sorry and don't go, I'll quite, I'll do anything, just stay, all he managed was a breathy little "oh". It didn't even sound surprised really, just disappointed. Like he'd known this was coming.
It would've been kinder for Pad to just say no. Say "I hate you" and "you're disgusting" and "I deserve better" and walk away because then Val wouldn't have felt like he had a chance. Then he wouldn't spend the rest of this week or month or maybe even year wondering about what might've been if he'd just made different choices. Chosen a different job.
He was blinking a bit too hard, but whatever. Padlock was just staring at his hands anyways, he wouldn't see.
"Oh. I… I guess I can get that." His voice was a watery, unwieldy thing. It wasn't like Pad was wrong. Wasn't like he had a single reason to stay. His whole shtick was based on logic, on thinking things through, how could Val have believed for an instant that this would be anything but a bad idea to him? He'd probably laugh about it later, when he was old enough to think about the way he'd let himself hope that maybe, just maybe, he'd be worth it without wanting to curl up into a little ball of shame. "I can't say you're wrong or anything. I kind of go against your whole thing, I can't even say you'd be safe—" His voice cracked a little.
He felt like he was falling apart, just a tiny bit.
"And… it's… it's not like you'd ever pick me over your mission, you're… you're so stubborn and the risk is… so high with…y'know, everything, so… um… yeah. Yeah, I… I get it if you can be close to someone like me, that's… that's just fine."
Out of all the decisions Padlock figured he’d face sometime in his life, picking a person over his work was never one he thought he’d have to make. His mind was awash with conflicting emotion. For one second, he was fighting every single urge he had. The other second, he was giving into them. He didn’t know what he was doing, whatsoever, and he hated it.
For once in his life, he wanted to be stupid. He wanted to be as much of an idiot as he possibly could, and take that risk— of being here with Valentine and just living. Sure, his goal wasn’t something he could abandon so easily, but he could figure it out. He always figured it out.
He wanted to be stupid. So bad.
Pad suddenly looked up to Phantom, giving about the saddest smile he could muster.
“I want to try. I really, really want to try.”
He took one of Phantom’s hands in his own, squeezing it tightly. He couldn’t break his gaze as he swallowed, shaking his head.
He wanted to be stupid. And Padlock was nothing but impulsive.
“My… My name is Solomon Moss,” he said, his voice smaller than he had ever heard it. “My name is Solomon Moss and to every single person on this planet, I was the kid that drowned in the lake west of the city five years ago. And god damnit, I really want to try this. I don’t care what I’m risking.
“For once in my life, I’m being as idiotic as possible, and I don’t care. I’m pleading that you’re telling me the truth… and if we actually want this to work, I can’t do it alone. It’s… It’s so much to ask, but I need you to help me. Not with my work, but with identity. No one can ever know my name.”
Val couldn't make himself meet Pad's eyes, didn't want to see whatever was there. He didn't think it would hurt so bad, was the thing, and then Pad was saying something about really wanting to try and that almost made it worst. Twisting the knife, that's what it felt like. Every word Padlock spoke about how he wanted to trust Val, wanted this to work, felt like another nail in the coffin because it would always be followed by some big, inevitable but.
Expect that didn't happen, because suddenly Val was being given a name to put to Pad's face and a whole lot of trust he hadn't been expecting and there were words and there was relief and he sort of blanked for a second or two. Or… or maybe a minute or two, honestly, because he was so caught up on the fact that this wasn't a no or an I can't or a you're not worth it that his brain couldn't handle anything else.
He just squeezed Padlocks—Solomon's—hand a little tighter and felt like he could breath for the first time since that first question. This time his "oh" was all softness and disbelief and a creeping sense of joy as a sunny smile settled on his lips.
"You won't regret this!" he promised, fierce in his determination, and then tossed his arms around Solomon's neck to pull him in close. "You won't, I swear you won't, I'm gonna put in so much goddamn work to prove that to you and I won't tell anyone, I'll take this to my fucking grave." He sounded so sincere and he was. There wasn't a single exaggeration in his words and he needed Solomon to know that. "Your secret's safe with me, okay? And… and I'll help you however I can, just tell me what you want and I'll do it!"
There were no words to express how much relief he felt. He always figured his confession would be met by something along the lines of disgust and disbelief. He always figured that the fact that he had literally faked giving up his life would be met with some kind of extremely uneasy mistrust.
But that wasn’t the case. That wasn’t even in the picture, and then Val was hugging him and it felt like he could breathe, because for the first time, there was someone that knew him. Someone that knew him and didn’t hate him for who he was or what he’d done.
He had always guessed having someone else in this escapade with him would be harder. That he would have to regulate just another person, and this entire load on his back would just gain so much weight, because now he was carrying someone else. He had never expected the fact that maybe, just maybe, that person would start carrying it with him. It was so much to ask— so much to ask— but he needed to be here. He didn’t just want to anymore.
“I— Th— Thank you,” he stuttered, burying his face in Val’s shoulder. “I know it’s too much to ask. I know I shouldn’t put this on you. Yet… yet I thought you had the right to know, especially because I’m not giving up on this that easy.”
He looked up, resting his chin on Val’s shoulder so his voice was no longer muffled.
“You said it yourself. I’m so stubborn. Even if it’s against my own mind.”
"It's not!" Val was probably hugging him too tightly but he didn't care. How could he when Solomon had just given him so much because he wanted to. There was something about this, about knowing that he'd been given this information because he was more important than whatever was holding Solomon back, that had him feeling like he was all joy and adrenaline. He was almost surprised that he was still here. Everything about this felt fucking ephemeral, like Solomon might reach right through him. "It's not too much, I… I want it. I want to make this work just like you do and if that means shouldering a few of your burdens then I'll do it happily."
He pulled back a bit and the want, the need, to kiss Solomon (Sol? Was he allowed a nickname when he'd only had the name for a few minutes?) was overpowering. He didn't bother to fight, just crashed their faces together. Far from his best work but he didn't care. This didn't even feel real yet, it just seemed like a dream.
Then again, he doubted a dream would have Solomon so beat up. And it probably wouldn't have so much danger attached either, so many uncertainties lurking in the shadows.
"God, I never thought I'd be happy for that stubborn streak." There was a shaky laugh in his voice as he cupped Solomon's face in his hands. He was shaking, just a little. He couldn't figure out if it was excitement or relief or maybe some mix of the two but it wasn't exactly a priority. Not when he had Solomon to focus on. "But hey, seems like today's pretty full of surprises for both of us."
Solo’s mind was racing, his arms all shaky and his body all cold from the cracked windows and the fact that he wasn’t under the covers anymore. At least, that’s what he told himself. The adrenaline rushing through him, and the sheer jubilance kept him seemingly warm, not even noticing his icy skin.
“Yeah, and the majority of the surprises are stemming from myself,” Solomon muttered, blue eyes all filled with that happy twinkle once again. “I swear I’m probably catching myself more off guard than you.”
He almost melted at Val’s offer to help him ‘shoulder’ the weight he had. Not only that, but the fact that he said he’d wanted to. It made him feel like he was truly letting go, and it was so freeing. It felt so unusual, and he felt so light and happy and perfect.
Though, something still tugged at him.
Solo had to convince himself that the guilt he was feeling didn’t need to be there, but he really didn’t know if Phantom knew what he was signing up for. Considering Phantom worked for the people Solo was wary of, Val probably did know, but he couldn’t help but feel… guilty, still. He was living in some kind of broken world, and he didn’t know if Phantom had helped him out, or if Solomon had tugged him in right alongside.
“Also… If it’s not too much to ask… could we… could we try to closet this? Just for a while, maybe? Or longer, of course. I… I just want to try to maybe be normal for once. I wan’t us to maybe be Solomon and Valentine, not Padlock and Phantom. Is— Is that too much to ask? I don’t understand the concept of quantity very well when it comes to something like this,” he replied, just trying his best to take in the situation. He didn’t even have the nerve to begin thinking if this would be something he’d regret later. He didn’t need to consider that. He was here and this was now and he was happy.
