I know that the title of this thread is a bit over the top, but at least it got your attention. Lol Seriously though, I need help with writing an interogation scene for one of my stories, and was wondering if someone would be kind and willing enough to help me out. I'll give you as much (or as little) info as I can, so that you'll be able to understand why my main character is being questioned.
Alright hey hello I'm,,, willing to try! Not the best when it comes to plot, but I do like interrogation and questioning of motives/psychology/etc. Hit me! ^^ (if you still need help, that is)
I'm also available :) Btw I'm new, how exactly do you contact folks here? Just continue the thread I assume? :3
I'm also available :) Btw I'm new, how exactly do you contact folks here? Just continue the thread I assume? :3
That, or pm them, through the inbox. Until you create an @ username, though, you wont be able to do that
Yes, any help is more than welcome.
Alright bring on the info!!
So, first off, I'm gonna have you look at what I have on here for my MC. Invalid Character
Here's the chapter where I plan on the interrogation taking place. Please feel free to ask questions in relation to this. I'll answer them if I can.
Johnny pulled the car up into the parking lot of the Central Midtown Juvenile Center. The large four story building loomed over them as a behemoth dragon, guarding her treasure. Jason sighed. Whether it was because this was where he felt at home, or because he knew that he was innocent, he didn’t know. Perhaps it was both.
Johnny sat back in his seat, and also sighed. He peers into the rearview mirror to look at the young man behind him. Fumbling around with his keychain, Johnny began yet again to do something that his instructor told him not to do.
“Jason?”
“I didn’t do it, John.” Jason said, giving Johnny an ice cold glare.
“I’m not the one that you have to try to convince of that, kid.” Johnny pauses to let out a sigh. “I really shouldn’t do this, but what the hell…. The guy that they’ve got to interrogate you doesn’t mess around Jason. He’s gonna give you everything that he’s got.”
“Why are you telling me this John?” Jason asked. Johnny sat silent and still for a moment, clutching the steering wheel with one hand so hard that his knuckles had turned white. Tears were welling up in his eyes, threatening to overflow.
“It’s because you remind me of someone; that someone is why I became a cop in the first place. Jason, with all the times that you’ve been here, and all of our interactions I’ve started to think of you as a brother. I’m even willing to risk my job for you!”
“We hardly ever talked to each other.” Jason said, befuddled by what Johnny had just told him.
“That doesn’t matter, not now.” A loud musical tune starts playing, causing Johnny to slightly leap from his seat. He pulls out his phone to look at it. “It’s time. I have to take you in now Jason.”
Johnny got out of the car, and moved around to the back where Jason was. Jason cooperated with him, and allowed the officer to lead him inside. Once inside Johnny lead Jason past a large office-like area, through a doorway, and down a hallway. Johnny had brought his adolescent captive to a room. Next to the door was sign reading INTERRO 1.
“I can’t believe that this is actually happening. I’m gonna have to wake up from this nightmare eventually.” Jason said.
“I’m sorry Jason, but this isn’t a dream.” Johnny stared at the door, an uneasy feeling settling in his stomach. “Once we go through that door I can’t help you. All I can do for you right now is tell you that the guy holds the rank of Major in the military. I guess Mayor Salem Black pressed for him to get to the bottom of this…. Just because you’re a kid doesn’t mean that he’ll go easy on you.” Johnny said, and opened the door.
The room that they had entered consisted of solid brick walls all painted a dull grey color. In one of them was a mirror. A single table was situated in the center of the room with several chairs placed around it. Two of the chairs were taken by two men. One of them, Jason noticed, was a familiar face. Jason didn’t recognize the other man though.
Great, not only do I have to deal with Jack, but now his dad as well! Jason thought to himself. He sat himself down across from Clark and the stranger, who Jason could only assume was the major that Johnny had warned him about.
“Hello Jason. Would you like something to drink? Perhaps something to eat?” Alex Devereux asked. He was a gruff looking man with small beady dark brown eyes, and buzz-cut brown hair. The sound of his deep voice reverberated off of the walls, making Jason a bit uncomfortable. Wrinkles showed on the man’s face due to, Jason assumed, stress from his rank. The shape of his broad shoulders and muscular arms was only accentuated by what he was wearing.
“No thanks.” Jason answered. So far he wasn’t getting why Johnny was concerned of this man’s presence.
“Well, it doesn’t matter even if you had said yes. I wouldn’t have given you squat, you little worm! And it’s no thanks, sir!” Alex said, slamming his mighty hands down, and leaning over the table. Spittle hit Jason in the face. He turned one of his hands into a tight fist to try to keep himself calm.
“Take it easy, Major Devereux.” Clark requests of him in a respectful tone. Alex settled himself back into his chair, and straightened his tie.
“So Flayme, why’d you do it?” Devereux asked.
“I didn’t do anything.” Jason answered.
“Well, according to witness statements you were the first to run outside before the fire took hold.” Clark states. “People were hurt, Jason.” Jason sits silently, looking down sorrowfully. Alex and Clark also remain silent. Clark breaks the silence.
Alright alright
1) I'm sorry for being a terrible grammar nazi, but I noticed you switch very inconsistently between past and present tense. Stick to one or the other?
2) Good hint to Jason's state with the tight fist to keep calm, maybe sprinkle more of those throughout the passage. I read his profile and there's a lot of interesting stuff there, and I know this is only a short extract but we see very little of his personality here.
3) Officer Johnny starts to cry? A bit unexpected, considering he's a cop. Unless that's the sort of person he is? Again, hard to tell because we only have a small passage to deduce from, but how many times have Johnny and Jason actually interacted, for Johnny to react so strongly about Jason getting in trouble?
I assume you have things in particular you want us to look for and critique on? You need help writing this interrogation scene, but what in particular are you having trouble with? And what exactly did Jason do? (That last question is simply from a beta-reader's point of view, not as a reader, again this is only a small passage so of course I don't expect to know, as a reader, exactly what happened yet.)
@Kaloodia First off, this is my first rough draft, so there's bound to be inconsistencies. Howver, I do thank you for the critique. Yes, being a caring person is part of Johnny's personality. I'm having trouble with interrogation as a whole. Jason didn't actually do anything, but he has been framed for starting a fire at his school. If you want, I can share everything that I've wrote so far.
@Syguy20132 I think it would helpful to read everything from the beginning, yes. It's hard for me to get a feel of these characters simply from one short passage (you, as the writer, are absolutely not at fault for that! I may have made that unclear in my first reply?? Sorry if I came off rude). Maybe link me to a shared google doc, or wherever you write your drafts? Or you can create a private discussion, whatever's easier for you.
And when you say interrogation as a whole, I assume you mean you don't quite know how to question Jason and/or how you want this to end? Perhaps you haven't,,,, watched enough crime shows and don't know how an interrogation usually happens? ;) I don't know, again I think it'd be helpful for me to beta-read the story from the beginning.
@Syguy20132 I think it would helpful to read everything from the beginning, yes. It's hard for me to get a feel of these characters simply from one short passage (you, as the writer, are absolutely not at fault for that! I may have made that unclear in my first reply?? Sorry if I came off rude). Maybe link me to a shared google doc, or wherever you write your drafts? Or you can create a private discussion, whatever's easier for you.
And when you say interrogation as a whole, I assume you mean you don't quite know how to question Jason and/or how you want this to end? Perhaps you haven't,,,, watched enough crime shows and don't know how an interrogation usually happens? ;) I don't know, again I think it'd be helpful for me to beta-read the story from the beginning.
I have watched several crime shows, and have even done research on interrogations. No, you weren't rude. I know that you only intend to help, and I am greatful to you for that. I actually want to be an author, so I'm gonna have to deal with 'rude' critiques and opinions…. I think that I handle critism well…. I'm still quite new to this site, and don't know how to make a private discussion.
@Kaloobia Here's the link to the story, Rising Flame. I'm aware that the prologue jumps all over the place, for I did that on purpose. It jumps around to show just how messed up Jason's life is, and to show that his… abilities can have horrible consequences. I hope that you enjoy what I have so far, and that it helps you gain a better understanding for my characters (and anything else that it may help you with, so that you can continue to help me.) https://www.wattpad.com/story/71523488-rising-flame