forum I want to write a dark fantasy Peter Pan story

Started June 27, 2018 by @mckapo

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Where he is a guide to purgatory(Neverland), and then watches over the souls until they are released from there, wherever that happens to be in the afterlife.

I would like to brainstorm some ideas with people

Hmmmmmmm. I like this. You could have a very chilling, "everybody thinks that heaven is in the sky. they're wrong," moment.

Ideas:

• Peter Pan is the Grim Reaper
• In the original Peter Pan, Wendy and her brothers died (there's potential for a dark and dramatic backstory here; I don't know about you but I'm fond of the whole "their father was broke so he killed his family while they slept instead of having to face the humiliation of being poor") and Peter was supposed to take them to "Neverland," and the pirates and mermaids were the children's way of coping with what was basically hell
• You could also do a spinoff of the Ancient Egyptian concept of a journey to the promised land

Here are some of my ideas for this:
fairies: native creatures to Neverland, they are ruled over by Queen Bramwe. Most are about 6" in height (though Bramwe is the size of a small child), have almond shaped eyes, and all have wings of varying size and shape, but all naturally secrete fairy dust (which has many uses). Tears from fairies can act as a drug, and the most potent are their tears of pain and sadness. Pan protects the fairies (especially from Hook and the mermaids), but he also tortures them to get their Pain Tears so that he can use the drug to calm himself when needed.
Souls: There are hundreds of souls in Neverland, where Pan has sectioned them all off to Skull Rock so he doesn't have to deal with them until it is time for them to go (reason for being in Purgatory, I haven't figured that out yet), where they are then taken to a pillar (there are multiple around Neverland) and they are sent to their afterlife (I need a good idea for this…). Most souls that Pan must take from Earth to Neverland are selected by Death.
Stars: The Second Star to the Right is the gateway back to Earth, from Neverland's POV, but from Earth;s POV it is both the gateway to Neverland and the soul of Pan. Each star in Neverland's sky is a soul stuck in Purgatory. When a new soul arrives, a new star is placed in the sky. When it is time for a soul to leave, the star flashes brightly and then winks out of existence once it has passed on. The brightest stars are Pan's Lost Boys, Pan himself, and the fairies.
Mermaids: the mermaids are cannibals and, before Pan, used to consume the souls stuck there and eat the fairies. Pan has mostly tamed them, or at least they don't try to eat him, and sometimes give him useful information if he gives them a soul or two. the mermaids are able to travel to earth through small gateways in the water.
Hook and his crew: actually good guys, they somehow came to Neverland (possibly as a way to counter Pan or something) and I don't have much else thought up yet for these guys.
Lost Boys: souls that Pan has taken personally (usually those that were stuck on Earth and turned to Wraiths?) and done something (ugh no ideas yet, still thinking) to them, and they serve as his companions on Neverland. As Pan is the god of nature, the closer they are to him, and the more time they spend with him, the more animalistic their features become. Tamaerean and Cassandra are the most important to Pan.
Neverland: a place that has been around for eons, but until recently, never had an 'owner'. As a god of nature, the island fused with Pan's soul and reacts to his emotional and mental state.

I'm still trying to figure out a plot for this. Why is Pan in Neverland? What is he trying to do? Where is trying to go? (Earth?) Why are Hook and his crew on Neverland? I need more ideas for the souls and such.

Pan is kind of sociopathic btw

You should Watch Once Upon A Time! Its actually very close to the idea of what you're doing. The TV series is about twists in stories, red riding hood is actually the wolf, snow white brought a curse, Peter Pan has a son and both are very evil!

So, I have an idea. What I'm suggesting might be a little bit of a cliche, but it blurs the line between the traditional lines of good and bad, which is something I love in a book.

Captain Hook is a magical mercenary, the last of a dying breed. Power runs through his blood and his boat (empowered by it's enchanted figurehead) is capable of going anywhere is the world. Since jobs are getting scarcer and scarcer as science begins to take a foothold in the world, when he and his crew are offered a high paying job by a mysterious man who reeks of opium, they take it without hesitation. Their mission: travel to the second star on the right, enter Neverland and free the fairies there from the clutches of the evil god Peter Pan and his ban sihde lover, Bramwe.

Fast forward 20 years:

Hook's only son, Will (IDK, choose your own name) is growing increasingly certain that his father isn't dead. Ever since his engagement to famed beauty, Wendy Darling, he's been having the strangest dreams– seeing a caravel sailing through the sky and a man with his eyes battling a young boy and his crocodile minions (???). [Insert a pivotal rising action that causes Will to be deposited in Neverland] After being saved from the clutches of naiads/mermaids by Tinkerbelle Will discovers that 1) He's in Neverland and 2) His father has been here for the last twenty years fighting the island's resident nature god, Peter Pan, for control of Neverland's most profitable resources: fairy dust and fairy tears.

*I have this thought that since fairies are traditionally nature spirits, and since at the time, opium was the drug of choice (derived from poppy seeds) that there could be some connection between the oriental drug and the fairies tears.
**ban sihdes (or banshees) are Irish fairies of mourning, who emit ear-piercing wails at the death of a loved one. Bramwe doesn't have to be a banshee, but with her name and position, it seemed appropriate.

Of course, there's more to it than that. Hook believes he's fighting for fairy independence when in truth, that's just a lie his employer (an earth-walking fairy who wants the fairy tears for himself). Peter Pan is defending more than just his supply of drugs– the magic that he drains from the fairies (along with the added drug) is the only thing maintaining the barrier between Purgatory and Earth, which is what Neverland was created to sustain. Plus Bramwe has her own plots too– she still hasn't forgotten how she died, by whose hand, and for what reason; suffice to say, she is going to have her revenge.

Wow, thank you @ellen
these are some great ideas, im going to incorporate it all into my idea I have for this story.

You should seriously watch Once Upon A Time though, your idea is close to the in in the series.

Ellen that's a great idea.
I'd read that book.

Alright going with some of your ideas, @Ellen, here is what I've got so far:

Locations:
Earth
Neverland - 'purgatory', where souls go when they have been deemed neither good nor bad, and must wait for their judgement, so they are sent to Neverland until this happens. Time in Neverland is different than Earth, as centuries can pass on Neverland and only a few decades can pass on Earth. The stars in Neverland are all the souls that are currently residing there. When a new star comes into existence, that is a new soul that Pan must guide. When one flashes brightly, that is a soul that has received Judgment and Pan must deliver them to their final destination.
Limbo - the realm of Fey. Titania rules this realm, but has since moved to Earth to gather more power and strengthen Limbo. Limbo is mostly cut off from earth because of the power of Neverland, but there are a number of hidden gateways the fey use to travel between Limbo and Earth.

Pan - Pan was born, along with several others, when the first tree sprouted from the ground. He spent centuries caring for this tree, and was the last nature god to leave it, protecting it with a large amount of his magic (as such, his fate is tied to this tree, and he will continue to be an immortal as long as the First Tree is alive). He was banished to Neverland by some god (God or gods) to be the ferryman of souls. When a soul has been marked by death, Pan must take them to the afterlife, or take them to Neverland (when a soul has been deemed neither good nor bad, they end up in Neverland until their Judgment is passed on, in which case Pan sends them on their way). After multiple escape attempts on his tie to Neverland, he has been barred from entering Earth to only once a month, in which he has a lot to make up for [though, his Lost Boys help carry some of the load]. After realizing that his soul is now tied forever to Neverland, and it is an essential part in the existence of the world (as without Neverland, souls would be sent to Limbo, the fey realm), Pan gives up on getting back to Earth permanently and decides to protect the fairies from the mermaids and the beasts of the forests. He uses the Pain tears to keep himself calm, and in extension, Neverland itself, and then pools them together in a large pool of water at the base of the Fairy Tree, mixing it with the fairy dust of deceased fairies (as they have to secrete the dust from the wings of dead fairies) and he then uses this and his magic (which he bolsters by stealing the souls of Wraiths) to uphold the barrier between Earth and Neverland and Limbo, which is weakening with the added strength of Limbo, thanks to Titania’s wealth of power on earth (which strengthens the power of Limbo).

Bramwe - Queen of the Neverland fairies, a ban sidhe that was killed by the father of Hook (her transformation from a fey to a ban sidhe signifies that she is strong and determined to live. After she had died, on Earth, she was transformed and sent back to Limbo, where he stumbled upon a small gateway that connected Limbo to Neverland, and came out on Neverland when it was at its darkest, and decided to rule over the fairies in this realm until she could get back to Earth and get her revenge on Hook's father (or Hook, or his son, either would be a fine choice)

Hook - One of the last of the magical family of seafaring mercenaries, Hook takes on a job from a mysterious opium drug lord (this is Titania from fey land) to go into Neverland and release the Neverland fairies from the clutches of an evil god that has been exiled there. Titania guides Hook to the Second Star, and he and his crew end up in Neverland, where for about a half century he fights Pan and his Lost Boys to free the fairies. Hook does not know that the fairies are wanted by Titania so she can get their tears and their dust, both of which the fey in the fey realms do not possess, as they do not fly and they do not have the ability to experience emotions on the level of Neverland fairies. He is trying to free them on the sole basis that he is a good person, and cannot leave defenseless magical creatures if he can save them.

Wraiths - souls that have been tied to earth's astral plane and unable to move on, to anywhere. Here they become consumed with rage and grief at being stuck that they turn into creatures called wraiths. Pan has found a way to capture these wraiths, bring them to Neverland, and either submerges them in the Pool of Madness or the Pool of Tears (can't decide yet which one I want to go with) and uses his magic to turn them into Lost Boys (souls of great power that have returned to their sanity and are able to travel to earth to help Pan in his job as ferryman. Other wraiths, that Pan doesn't need or can't turn, are trapped in the Fairy Tree at the center of the island and are drained until their stars go out, which helps boost the production of fairy dust and also allows Pan to direct some of that power/magic/energy into maintaining Neverland's magical barrier between earth and Limbo.

Neverland's Magical Barrier - through a mixture of fairy dust, fairy tears, soul energy, and Pan's magic, he is able to maintain the massive barrier surrounding the island from Earth and Limbo, as the border is crucial so the fey do not overrun the earth and do not mess with the souls that are in Neverland. This, I'm thinking, is why Pan was sent to Neverland, to do this job above all others. Before Pan, Neverland sustained it's own barrier, but over time, it became weak and the fey were able to cross into Earth in the early years and created countless changelings and the like, before the powers that be decided that they needed someone who was powerful enough and smart enough to sustain the border on their own. So, they sent the most powerful nature god to Neverland.

I think I will add Hook's son in there, and Wendy Darling, it will make for a more complex story, though I think with the addition of Titania and the fey, this looks like it will be pretty long. Then, maybe I could have most of the story told from Pan's perspective, with few chapters added in from the POV of Hook's son and his journey, and then it will be two POV's on different sides, where the reader can get both sides of the story from characters that aren't really 'protagonist' 'antagonist', but morally ambiguous.

Title: PAN
I was thinking of having that as the title, but now I'm thinking, something different? Any ideas? Or should I just keep it how it is?

I feel like Pan is already the name of other movies/books based on Peter Pan's story, so that might be confusing?
(sorry I'm really bad at coming up with titles, but I'll def let you know when I come up with more)

Yeah, that's why I'm kind of iffy on it. I want people to know right away it has something to do with Peter Pan, but I don't want it to be too similar to what's already out there.

The second star and what comes next?
Pan, Guardian of _____ (insert something relevant there)

Subvert everyone's expectations and just call it….
Peter

You know that last one was kind of a joke but now I'm not so sure that's such an iconic title.
I think I've peaked. No suggestion of mine will be better than that.

I like both of those suggestions, thank you. Pan, Guardian of ___ makes me laugh because Pan is, you know, psycho in the head, so making him the guardian is an ironic twist, when he would probably never think of himself as any type of guardian whatsoever.

I was thinking he's kinda like Charon from Greek Mythology, who's not so much the guardian of death, I guess, but the ferryman

Here is my plot setup in 4 parts.

Part 1: Sets up Pan, Bramwe, Souls, Judgement and Lost Boys, and Hook.
Introduces the Pixie Dust drug when Pan goes to Earth.

Pan: introduced torturing a fairy for her Pain Tear, after the death of his 3rd in command, Tether, to Hook some months before. Converses with Poppy, and then goes to seal the barrier around Skull Rock. Meets Bramwe afterwords and they talk of Hook and their past lives.

Bramwe: meets up with Pan after he closes the barrier and tells him she can feel her wail pressuring her, and that something strange is going on in Limbo and Earth.

Lost Boys: Pan takes Cassandra and Tam with him to Earth to guide the Judged souls and then to take the Un-judged to Neverland. While there, Pan senses Neverland magic around and comes across a remnant of fairy dust. He also comes across a Wraith, whom, instead of taking back to Neverland to fuse it’s power in the Pool of Tears, he drains then and there, alerting Death. He talks to him, and leaves after an argument.

Part 2: Sets up Jem, Tinkerbelle, Wendy and Titania. Pan meets Titania, whom insists he destroy the magical barrier and let Neverland fall into the abyss. Pan refuses and goes back to Neverland through his own Star before Titania can catch him. Jem and Wendy follow with him, as Tinkerbelle holds the portal open longer than it should have been with the help of the dust infused ring Pan left for her.

Jem & Wendy: Jem recounts his intense, reoccurring dreams to Wendy about his father, firmly believing that he is not dead, and that he instead has been lost.. Somewhere. Jem feels a pull and guides Wendy to an area, where Wendy spots Tinkerbelle hiding among the things that Titania owns and Pan, whom she had met as a boy.

Tinkerbelle: As Titania closes in on Pan, Tinkerbelle is seen by both Wendy and Jem, though Pan seems to not notice her (as he is protecting her from Titania’s wrath and pooling Never magic into a ring he has on hand.

Titania:

Part 3: Sets up conflict between Hook & Bramwe, Tinkerbelle and Wendy, and Titania & Pan. Titania travels through a gateway under water after capturing and torturing a mermaid (Poppy).

Part 4: As Titania captures the wandering souls of Neverland and kills off all of Pan's Lost Boys, the Neverland Barrier grows extremely weak, and the island goes out of control as Pan feels the pain of his lost boys deeply, and his wraiths have all gone, lessening his power (though his power was always there, he just thought he needed more).
Wendy, Jem & Hook come to the realization that Titania is trying to enslave the Never fairies and open access between Limbo to Earth and Limbo to Neverland, disrupting the balance between the three realms, and causing Death to seek them out to ask them to help Pan, as he is the Guardian of Lost Souls.

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Part 1: Pan POV
Part 2: Pan & Jem POV (or Wendy's?)
Part 3: Pan, Jem(or Wendy), & Titania POV
Part 4: Pan POV

What is everyone's opinions on POV changes?

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I'm in the middle of fleshing Parts 2-4 out like Part 1, but what are the opinions so far?

Honestly it all looks fantastic??? I'm sure in the 6 hours since you've posted that it's only gotten better.
I'm fine with POV changes- in my trilogy, I use a diff POV every chapter (book 1 alternated between the two protags, mainly, but I have this subplot from a special POV), and so far, book 1 has used a diff POV for each of the 4 chapters. Just label the chapter or section header with whoever is narrating if it's in first person

I hate to sound mean and critical here, but I want you to know this: I think that you need to choose one myth system and stick with it. You have elements of Greek, Celtic, and Egyptian culture wrapped up into a modern English storyline. It's pretty cool sounding, but also a little bit confusing. I think that (possibly) Titania and Bramwe could be the same character, and if you wanted to use banshees, you could play with the Celtic concept of reincarnation (Pan has to choose the souls that get reincarnated v the souls that stay in Neverland/Purgatory)
Okay. Two more points:

1. the whole starts=souls concept. If you're going to sell that to readers, you're going to have to have an incredible sales pitch.
2. The idea that Neverland is… and intermediary between Earth and other realms, like Faerie and Purgatory??? I'm not sure what you're trying to do there.

(Sorry I was so mean. I really want to read this story, btw. I think I'm getting emotionally invested.)

Oh, yeah, you mentioned another earth fairy, so somehow I thought of fey and Titania and Limbo got put in there haha. 1
Neverland (Purgatory), with its magical border that you mentioned, could be a protection against the fey from earth, and also the home of lost souls, so it has two functions.
Alright, I'll think more on the plot