@The Seliph-loving Gryffindor who also loves dragons and cats
Cinderella and Sleeping Beauty. These are famous classics, beloved by all… Well, except me. The truth is, most classics are boring, horrible garbage. Here is why.
Cinderella is about a girl whose dad dies, and her stepmom enslaves her. Okay, first of all, that is dumb. Why would her dad marry someone like this? Did he not expect to die? If my husband/wife died, I wouldn't marry some psychopath on the spot. I would get to know him/her, and then decide if (s)he'd be a good partner. Cinderella's dad is the stupidest parent ever. Also, the stepmother's cat. There is so much wrong with him. First, his freaking name is Lucifer. Yes. And second of all, he is very unrealistic. Many cats in real life don't eat mice at all. Also, how does he keep failing? My 22 pound cat has successfully brought freaking birds home. Also, cats and dogs can be friends. Okay, now to the second part. The fairy godmother makes Cinderella a princess. …Okay? And then she gets some balls… I-i mean she goes to the ball. There is a sexy prince, and he falls in love with Cinderella instantly, and she loves him the same way. THAT IS NOT HOW LOVE WORKS! You don't just walk over to a girl and say "Ooh, you're sexy!" People fall in love because of them being close friends, and being interested in falling in love! Also, HOW DO YOU NOT RECOGNIZE THE "LOVE OF YOUR LIFE"? Does the prince has a foot fetish? Well, anyway, to Sleeping Beauty…
First of all, Maleficent is amazing. It craps on the original perfectly. Easily one of Disney's best movies. Anyway, Sleeping Beauty is about a princess, and another kingdom wants to have their prince marry her. Forced marriage, ugh… And then the fairy who got her own movie curses Aurora, and unlike Maleficent, she has no reason except she wasn't invited to the party… What about all the other dragon fairy things who weren't invited? Why aren't they cursing princesses? And couldn't the nice fairies reverse the spell? And then, much later, the prince has to fight a dragon. HOW MANY F**KING TIMES HAS THAT HAPPENED IN FAIRY TALES? And then romantic true love's kiss… Maleficent taught us that true love doesn't just come in the form of romance! Sorry, Sleeping Beauty, but your remake is much, MUCH better!
In short, these classics are overrated trash. Watch the Disney movies with actual character development!
