Hey fellow writers! I would love it if I could get some feedback on the magic system I've created for my world. I'm especially trying to make it clear, consistent and original. The link to the page is here (warning, it's wordy):
Please let me know if anything is confusing, inconsistent or just plain boring. And conversely, let me know if there's anything you really like! :)
TL;DR version:
Three realms: physical, soul and spirit. Magic comes by accessing the soul realm.
There are seven different kinds of magic, called Threads. These Threads are Light, Weather, Plants, Fire/Heat, Movement, Animals and Sound/Dreams.
I know! I decided to join and I'm having so much fun adding races right now. Though, tbh, they're more like ethnic groups, my world doesn't have elves and goblins and orcs and aliens, just humans. :D
I really love your magic system! It's really well thought out and it makes total sense to me.
All of your systems seem sound and I really don't have any critique for you. I just wanted to tell you that it's fREAKING AWESOME!
Thank you for having a look at it! Is there anything more that you'd like to know about it?
I love visuals so I would ask what the visual differences of each realm are?
All right! So, the physical realm looks very similar to the world we Earthlings see around us (though of course with my invented fauna and flora and the local architecture, etc.) I imagine the colours as very vibrant and varied, especially in wealthy locales, since the use of weather magic means droughts and destructive flooding or storms are less frequent, and the use of plant magic means not all flora is native to the area or climate.
I'll describe the soul realm from the perspective of a trained user of Light magic, because they're the only ones who can actually see it. It's a bit like a veil or an overlay over the physical realm, in that you can still see the plants, architecture, people, animals, etc. that you see in the physical realm, but their edges are a little hazy and their colours are a little dimmed. Everything is softer and feels slower, even though it isn't actually moving slower, and shimmers with a constant ambient glow that's sort of twilight-strength, no matter what time of day it is. Brighter streaks of colour show up where magic is being done or has recently been used. For example, the hands of the lady who just used fire magic to light the fire would be glowing scarlet, and golden pawprints across the grass might show where a user of animal magic shifted into a cat and leapt off into the forest.
Users of light magic don't see the soul realm all the time, only in flickers here and there or when they choose to. It's a bit like unfocusing your eyes, and then you see this other layer.
As for the spirit realm, no human can see it, but if they could they would see the true forms of people (uninjured, un-shifted) wrapped in a world of swirling mist like a moving sunset. They might also see spirit creatures, but I haven't decided what these look like yet.
I'm late to the party on this one but wow this is an amazing magic system. Kineomancy is such a cool idea! The only critique I have is that Hypnomancy evokes more of a hypnosis/psychic feeling to it when it's more like a sound or audio magic. Not that I know my latin maybe that's like the root for the Latin word for the sound I don't know. Otherwise, this is really well thought out, great job!
I'm late to the party on this one but wow this is an amazing magic system. Kineomancy is such a cool idea!
Thank you! I'm glad you like it!
The only critique I have is that Hypnomancy evokes more of a hypnosis/psychic feeling to it when it's more like a sound or audio magic.
Hypno is Greek for sleep, but you're definitely right on the connotations there. Thank you for pointing that out! I think I was looking for words similar to 'dream' since mages of that Thread get called Dreamspeakers, but since the -mancy words probably won't be used in story it would make more sense to have it relate to sound instead of sleep! I may go with Phonomancy instead.
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