forum Critique my magic system, please!!!

Started July 02, 2018 by @Pandapocalypse

tune

I'm not looking for critiques on the rest of my universe, just the magic system. Invalid Universe

Magic system is looking cool!
Couple of little things:

• you say that there are "There are six different groups of magic, each of which has two different types of magic in it." But you name only three groups with 2 sub categories

• you stick a random sentence about natural magic into the energy category "People who use Natural magic are known as Naturalists."

• you should probably give a clearer description of where different types of liquids comes from. From what I gathered, you add something to a Creator liquid? But what? Also, a naturally occuring black liquid is super interesting…like oil. You should add a little bit about where it's found in your world. Are there streams/oceans of it? or do you have to dig it up like oil?

Other than that, I found it super interesting and a good concept. Plenty to work with there!
Good job!

Thanks! The first two were probably just typos. I never really thought about where you'd find the Creator liquid. I'll have to think about that!

Some small things I noticed:
—> Iron, bronze, copper and steel are all metals, but in your description you’ve defined the two types of Natural magic as liquid and rock. Also, steel and bronze are alloys, not pure elements (steel = iron + carbon; bronze = copper + tin + other stuff) which is fine if magicians need to mix/buy the metals themselves but wouldn’t work for mining the elements straight out of the ground.
—> The names for magic users (naturalatist, energetist, etc.) sound a little unwieldy to me but that’s a personal preference and depending on the rest of your worldbuilding they might fit right in.

Like TryToDoItWrite, I’m curious as to how you make the different coloured liquids from the creator liquid. :) Also, how much of a liquid or metal/rock does one need to use, and does it have to be in pure/raw form? (Like, could a Naturalatist grab his enemy’s steel blade and use it’s power to then snap freeze his enemy? Would this mean that any time a Naturalatist touches, say, iron, she absorbs it instantly and then has to go heat something up, or can she not absorb it if she chooses?

Now I’m imagining someone unknowingly handing a Naturalatist her soup in a copper bowl and poof! bowl absorbed, soup everywhere. :D

It would be interesting to know whether there are non-magical uses for the creator liquid as well.

Some small things I noticed:
—> Iron, bronze, copper and steel are all metals, but in your description you’ve defined the two types of Natural magic as liquid and rock. Also, steel and bronze are alloys, not pure elements (steel = iron + carbon; bronze = copper + tin + other stuff) which is fine if magicians need to mix/buy the metals themselves but wouldn’t work for mining the elements straight out of the ground.
—> The names for magic users (naturalatist, energetist, etc.) sound a little unwieldy to me but that’s a personal preference and depending on the rest of your worldbuilding they might fit right in.

Like TryToDoItWrite, I’m curious as to how you make the different coloured liquids from the creator liquid. :) Also, how much of a liquid or metal/rock does one need to use, and does it have to be in pure/raw form? (Like, could a Naturalatist grab his enemy’s steel blade and use it’s power to then snap freeze his enemy? Would this mean that any time a Naturalatist touches, say, iron, she absorbs it instantly and then has to go heat something up, or can she not absorb it if she chooses?

Now I’m imagining someone unknowingly handing a Naturalatist her soup in a copper bowl and poof! bowl absorbed, soup everywhere. :D

It would be interesting to know whether there are non-magical uses for the creator liquid as well.

Thanks for your feedback! I currently do not have time to make changes, but I will think about these today, and I will tell you when the changes have been made!

Thanks for your feedback! I currently do not have time to make changes, but I will think about these today, and I will tell you when the changes have been made!

You’re welcome! I look forward to seeing what you come up with. :)

@Riorlyne
I was finally able to make the changes I needed to. I've been visiting relatives this week, so I haven't had the time before now.
I've added a custom category for magic in my universe, and the Creator Liquid is now an item.

Everyone else, I'm still open for opinion.

A few questions about your magic system:
1, why does the creator liquid require energy from the user, but the other liquids which are made from it don't?
2, just for curiosity's sake, what if the object a weightist is trying to use weighs the exact same as themselves?
3, what do you mean by "absorb" the energy? also, how do they apply that energy to the real world to do something?
4, do rock naturalists wear gloves because its automatic or only because of alloys and does that mean that the other magic users don't absorb automatically?