"It was a fucking rude observation that you should've kept to yourself," Damian corrected testily, though he was already starting to relax against Jude again. "There's a difference between being blunt and being a dick, you should think about how you'll make people feel when you say that kind of shit-" He cut himself off by flinching away from the approaching hand, slamming his head back against the couch cushions.
His eyes flicked up to Juniper's face, down to the extended hand, and then Damian leaned forward into the touch with an embarrassed flush. "Shit, um… just don't say that kind of stuff to me. I know people don't like touching me or holding me or any of that shit. I don't like being reminded."
he tilted his head silently, choosing to just nod and say "well you've found a person who does. you're rather easy to get along with."
Damian laughed. "No, I found a nice boy with mob ties who's content to let me hang around because he's sorry daddy hits me and may, on occasion, let me cuddle into his side as long as I keep my head down and my back bloody."
juniper raised his eyebrows at him, pulling half his mouth into a smile.
"who said you had to keep your head down and back bloody for me to let you lay on me? i'm not wastin' my time, hon. if you weren't around i'd just be scrolling twitter mindlessly right now."
"Every second you spend letting me lay on you is a waste of time, Hon." Damian looked up at him, challenging but not angry. "If I weren't some poor baby who couldn't stand up to his dad, you never would've paid attention in the first place."
juniper took the challenge, not seeing any harm in it.
"okay, but may i remind you who started flirting with you first in the diner? i would've asked you out anyway, love. and pssht, nobody holds more social power than old men. i know it'd be a while before you managed to get away, seeing as you need to get your mom away as well, so i figured i'd just offer the help and save you some suffering."
Damian rolled his eyes and propped his head up on Juniper's shoulder. "Fine, fine, maybe you thought I was cute before you knew about my daddy issues, but you can't deny that the only reason you let me do this," he gestured at their entangled bodies, "Is because Pop beats me and you feel like you owe me some comfort.."
"you're partially right. the reason i'm letting you do this is because you're injured, and i've already told you what philosophy i grew up with. but the twist here is that you don't stop caring for someone after they've healed, just acknowledge they can help themselves."
he looked pointedly at damian.
"everyone owes each other comfort."
"Honey, people haven't owed me shit since I turned five." Damian looked back at him defiantly, though there was softness in his eyes too. "And even if some did, you wouldn't be one of them, and the twist here is that I don't like sympathy. I don't like it when people do things for me because dad hit me once or twice. I don't want to be touched because you pity me." That was a lie, he'd let Juniper touch him even if he thought Damian was the lowest most pitiable thing to ever walk the earth "I want you to touch me because you want to."
"i don't pity you. i know what it's like to be pitied, it's awful. i want to help you and make you feel better, and if this is how it's done, i don't mind."
juniper recalled burning with shame as people openly asked everybody in their line of sight where his mom was, the hot feeling in his chest and shoulders at the pitying looks the numerous scars crossing and dotting his torso earned him. especially the two identical slashes on his ribcage, the stars of the scar show.
"if i trust someone, i tend to hang off of them anyway. and i have to say, while it's not immediate, i have a gut feeling i can trust you."
Damian had learned to deal with the part of shame that was about embarrassment, but not the part where his skin felt too hot and too tight and he itched to punch something so people could give him anger and fear instead. He didn't feel that here, just felt like his skin was crawling with emotions.
"I like you, Juniper. Like… in any sense of the word. I don't want this to be an obligation or… something you just do to make me feel better. That's the same as pity in my book and it makes me feel… wrong.
"it's not an obligation. it's a sense of purpose. for the longest fuckin' time, the only thing i've really done is dance and hurt people. it's… really neat, to be able to do something i rather enjoy, that also makes the other person feel better, instead of doing something that makes me feel… cold, that leaves them dead. does that make sense?"
it hurt, to say that. felt like a particularly determined bandaid ripping off the skin on his chest, but it was the truth. he didn't really enjoy being a part of the mob. it give one a nice sense of safety, and a place to take your anger out, but too often that just made people quicker to anger.
juniper often wondered what he'd be like if he'd grown up normally.
Damian clung a little closer to Juniper because he understood. He'd been hurting people for a long time, and it just made him feel… sick. The things he'd seen haunted him more effectively than any ghost. So when Juniper was done speaking he just nodded and pressed as close as he could and pressed a gentle kiss to his forehead.
"Yeah," he said after a long time. "Yeah, I… I get that. And I'm happy to let you… um… take care of me." His face was red and the words were clumsy on his tongue like they'd never been spoken before. "But I want to be able to help you too."
"i'm not entirely sure how you can help me. but we'll figure it out along the way, yeah?" he game damian a full smile, that reached his eyes and whole face.
Damian smiled softly when he realized he'd managed to work a second genuine smile out of Juniper and leaned over until there faces were just centimeters apart. An invitation for Juniper to close the space. "Yeah, I'm sure we will. But, in the meantime, thanks. For… confiding in me."
juniper huffed, a small equivalent of a laugh. "and the same to you. i'm assuming you want a specific something?" his smile took on a mischievous quirk.
Damian blushed lightly, gaze flicking away from Juniper's smile. He knew he was just being teased, but he didn't have the courage to ask for what he wanted or to do it, so he leaned in a little closer and kissed Juniper sweetly on the cheek. "Just this."
"thank you, love. okay, here." he shifted, starting to get up. "how's this. we go and get your mom tomorrow. and for now, i get you something more comfortable to sleep in, and we arrange how that's going to go down. hm?"
Damian let out a confused whine when Juniper started to move, wrapping his arms around his waist to pull him close again, but he hesitantly let go when he realized he was trying to get up. "I'm comfortable right now, you don't have to go."
juniper gave damian a look. "yeah, but what if i told you you can be even more comfortable? we look about the same size. i'll be right back." he turned back into his room, pulling open a drawer.
uhh,,,, fuck, okay. here.
he nudged the door mostly shut so he could change, and did as such quickly. eventually he came out holding a white shirt and gray flannel pants, and tossed them to damian.
Damian gave the shirt a single look- it was white and worn thin from use and looked softer than anything he'd ever owned- before he pushed it away and decided he'd just make do with the pants. He changed into them quickly, fumbling on the couch as he struggled to retain some sliver of modesty. "Um… I'm done. Thank you."
juniper had been averting his eyes, but looked over with a light smile still remaining. "no problem." he smoothed out his own shirt, purely from habit of wearing button ups all the time, and approached the couch to stand in front of damian. he was wearing a black muscle shirt, and charcoal gray shorts that showed the scars of the aforementioned ceramic plates.
"what's our sleeping position here? i figured i'd harass you into taking the bed and i'd sleep on the couch, unless you want to do something else that doesn't involve you anywhere that's not good for your back."
Damian found his attention drawn to several things at once, head a mish mash of how good Juniper looked in a muscle shirt and how bad he wanted to run his hands over those scars and how totally fucked he would be if he acted on anything he wanted to do other than pat the couch cushions beside him and convince Juniper to sit down again. "I think that ship sailed a while ago, Juniper. I'm gonna hurt no matter where I sleep, so I'd rather stay out here and let you take your bed."
"that's a fair point. we could also both take my bed, if that floats your boat." he sat down next to damian, but was careful not to get too comfortable so he could move to his bedroom if damian decided to.
Damian took a moment to consider before he nodded, slowly pushing himself to his feet. The wounds on his back prickled angrily, but none of them split open again so he didn't show the pain anywhere except his eyes. "I think it does. Can you help me over to your room?"