“I know what that's like.” she chuckled. “When we first met… that leech in the library, I didn't know what Farrah was going to do. Especially once he took her magic.” she admitted.
Elizabeth sighed and nodded. “I understand but I think that's something she has to tell you. From what she has told me, it's very personal and it's not right for me to talk about it.” she said sincerely and a little apologetically.
“I’m glad we met too. But I think she had the survival element under control. She even got a bear, of all things, to roll over and act like a cute puppy.“ she smiled, laughing a little. “If you're worried about her mentally… then I can understand the concern. I mean she seemed fine when we first met. Of course, that was before she told me about… that bitch.”
Saul sighed and shook his head. “Farah’s often more reckless than I wish she would be. She will always put someone else’s life before her own…” He trailed off for a moment, lost in thought as his mind took him back to the day when Farah got the nasty scar on her leg. But just like that, he snapped out of it.
“That doesn’t exactly make me feel confident about what she has to say,” he muttered. “But I understand. No offense, but I’d rather hear it from Farah when she’s ready to tell me.”
He laughed a bit when Elizabeth mentioned the bear, but his smile dimmed a bit at the woman’s next words. “Farah’s good at pretending to be fine. That’s what worries me more than anything else. She rarely talks to anyone and always wears her mask to hide whatever she’s feeling. I keep telling her that she can’t keep it up this way, but she doesn’t listen to me anyway.”
“Yeah. I think I saw that in action in the library.” she admitted, pretty sure that Farrah had been trying to protect her from Sebastian. “Guess she wasn't expecting me to be trying to protect her too. Was she like that with her team? Farrah told me about the Fairy/Specialist partnerships in this world.”
“No offense taken. But I hope that she does tell you about it.” Elizabeth said sincerely. “I know how close you two are but that might make it harder for her to talk about it.”
She nodded slightly at his concern and gave a soft hum. “I wonder if that started because of her empathic magic. Having to hide or control emotions that aren't hers, and now she doesn't know how to let her guard down with her own emotions.” she theorized. That or it's another scar from Rosiland…
Saul chuckled quietly. "You probably did, and she probably wasn't," he replied while shaking his head. "She just automatically goes into protective survival mode. Yeah, that was basically how she's been since we were paired together. We were all part of the battalion, but she was my fairy partner. Blackwoods Massacre was the worst I ever feared for her life because of it."
"Thanks," he mumbled. "I get that, but I wish she would tell me. We tell each other everything, mainly because I can't keep anything from her for very long."
Elizabeth's explanation made sense, but Saul still sighed. "Yeah. But I've never actually asked her about it. I'm not as good about my own emotions. I couldn't imagine having to take on other peoples'. Farah always says how mind magic is the most lonely type."
Elizabeth nodded at the explanation. “I'm not surprised. I've seen and been through that a bit myself. Trying to protect someone at the cost of being reckless…” she sighed, shaking her head. “She didn't tell me about Blackwood yet but a lot has happened today and I don't expect her to tell me all her war stories.”
“I bet it's hard enough keeping secrets from someone who can read your mind anyway.” she chuckled. “You probably never had a chance. Farrah on the other hand… I’m sorry. I know she would never abuse her power and how much you trust each other. I wasn't trying to imply anything.” she assured sincerely.
She hummed softly, nodding again. “Yeah, I can see that. No wonder… I mean, it must be really hard for her. I can't imagine knowing or feeling someone else's thoughts and feelings as well as my own either.” she admitted, glad that no one could currently read her mind.
Saul shook his head. “That’s Farah for you. But it’ll be nice to have another voice of reason on my side now,” he added with a grin. Then he hesitated a moment. “But if you decide to return to the First World after this, that would be fine too, of course. We won’t force you to stay here if that’s not what you want.”
“You have no idea,” he agreed with a quiet chuckle. “There were no surprise birthday parties for Farah when we attended. And I know you weren’t implying anything. I understand.”
But before Saul could say anything else, Farah returned. She rounded the bend and spotted the two talking with a faint smile on her face. “Sorry,” she apologized softly. “I didn’t mean to go charging off like that. I hope you’ll forgive me.” The mind fairy looked more at Elizabeth as she said the last part.
Elizabeth chuckled and nudged Saul. “Probably more of a middle ground. I can be reckless depending on the situation.” she teased. Though her smile kinda froze at the mention of going back. “I hadn't really thought about it.” she admitted softly. “I guess I was just in… “mission mode”. If that makes any sense.” she shrugged. On one hand, she had a home, of sorts, and a job waiting for her… But she couldn't just walk out and leave this fight or Farah like this.
“I bet.” she laughed, trying to imagine the effort of keeping a secret from someone who could read your mind. “Thanks. I was worried something came out wrong.” she smiled in relief that he understood.
When Farah returned, apparently in a better mood, Elizabeth smiled back at her and shook her head slightly. “There's nothing to forgive. You needed some time to yourself. Nothing wrong with that.” she assured.
Saul smiled wryly. "Yeah, it makes sense," he agreed quietly. "I get it." The Specialist likely understood more than most ever would. His mind nearly lost itself in the midst of missions, where Saul was in too deep to realize anything else, and Farah had been the one to help him out of it. Just like she always did.
In reaction to her smile, he merely waved his hand. "Trust me, I'm not always the best with words either. Again, that's more Farah's thing." But the sight of his fairy returning with a more relaxed demeanor automatically eased Saul's anxiety.
Farah smiled appreciatively at Elizabeth's assurance. "Thank you," she replied. Though after a moment, the smile faded from her eyes, and a shadow seemed to cast itself over her. "Elizabeth," Farah asked quietly. "Would you mind taking a walk with me?"
Elizabeth smiled at Saul’s understanding of both her comments. She had a feeling that he would understand the first, at least, because he was a soldier too, in a way. But the second was mostly reassuring to hear.
“Sure.” she nodded at the fairy’s request. She wasn't sure if the look on her face meant that Farah was going to explain what happened or if it was just guilt for leaving the room. “Lead the way.” she smiled softly.
Farah seemed to light up a bit at Elizabeth’s acceptance, but something still darkened the edges of her face. She cast a quick glance at Saul, and the Specialist leaned back against the wall and nodded, a signal he’d remain to guard Sebastian. Even the small gesture put Farah at ease before she headed in the opposite direction.
Once the pair was out of earshot, Farah inhaled slowly. “What did you and Saul talk about?” she asked lightly.
“Oh, all kinds of things.” Elizabeth shrugged. “The current situation, me being a fish out of water around all this magic, both of us being soldiers, you… Just getting to know each other.” she smiled softly, trying to help Farah relax a little more for now. Though she had a suspicion that there was something serious coming up.
Farah nodded, a faint smile lingering on her lips. "Good," she murmured. "I'm glad you and Saul are getting to know each other." She led the way out of the East Wing and to the school's backyard campus. Specialist training mats lined the grass, and there were even a few supported like a bridge over a long pool. Farah stopped for a moment, her eyes surveying the yard. Nostalgia was heavy here.
"This was where I was made," Farah said quietly. "I trained here. Every day, when we weren't out on a mission." She paused a minute, letting her emotions play across her face. Too many to count. For once, she was glad not to have her magic. She didn't want to know what Elizabeth was thinking about her right now.
"So many bad things happened here. So many good things too. Andreas gave me my only training scar on that mat." She pointed to one suspended over the water. "Rosalind watched him do it and didn't say a word. And there," she pointed again to a bench by the trees in a more wooded area of the training grounds. "That's where… That's where I kissed Saul. Before you say anything, it was only once. We were young and stupid."
Farah looked over at Elizabeth, earnestness in her eyes. "I'm sorry for dragging you into all of this. You think I would've learned my lesson by now." The second part was muttered under her breath, more to herself than anyone.
“I think it might have something to do with both of us being soldiers but he’s very easy to get along with.” she smiled, playfully bumping Farah’s side. “I can see why he was popular.”
But she wasn't ignorant of when the mood changed as they walked the grounds. It was easy to notice the strength of the memories on the fairy. Elizabeth stayed quiet as Farah told her about this place. Though she winced at the thought of her getting hurt and that her teacher did nothing. “Hate to say it but that kinda reminds me of boot camp. Maybe worse though.” she admitted softly, since her teachers were pretty strict too but she at least knew they cared about how badly the recruits got hurt. Rosalind, on the other hand, didn't seem to.
She smirked a little at the mention of the kiss but patted her back at her apology. “It's ok. Don't beat yourself up. I’m actually glad to be here.” she assured. “This has been… crazy but a lot of fun so far.”
Farrah couldn’t help a quiet laugh. “You don’t know the half of it. The parties they used to put on in the East Wing when Rosalind was away in the capital… I have no idea how they managed to get three kegs on and off campus without getting caught. They never told me their secret, but they swore it didn’t have anything to do with magic.”
She sighed slowly at Elizabeth’s comparison. “For your sake, I pray that your boot camp and mine were nothing alike,” she stated simply. The fairy made it a point not to look at Elizabeth for as long as possible, but the touch on her back was so soothing and genuine that she turned to the other girl and listened to what she said. Though, internally, she winced.
“I’m sure you have questions,” Farah replied slowly, hesitantly, before giving room for Elizabeth to ask anything she wanted. She didn’t want to bring up Vanessa, but she knew Elizabeth had to be curious about the other woman. Farah didn’t need her magic to tell her that.
“Three kegs! Must have been a wild party. Wish I could have been here for that.” she laughed, impressed by the feat. “Who else was invited? I mean was it just a group of friends or did half the school show up?”
Elizabeth shrugged at the sympathy. “I don't know. It was tough, I’m not going to lie. But looking back… I’d like to say I had fun.” she hummed as she thought back to those early days.
“I don't want to make you uncomfortable.” she replied, not denying the fact but she didn't want to force Farah to talk about something she didn't want to. “But, I guess my main question would be; are you ok?”
Farah’s thin lips pressed into a wry smile at Elizabeth’s laugh. “It was,” she agreed. “And I can’t remember how many people came. Enough to fill the entire East Wing and more.”
“I’m glad then,” Farah said, each word getting quieter than the first. “That you had fun. You deserve fun.” The fairy left out her own implied words, You don’t deserve all of this.
Farah’s fingers curled into shaky fists, and she looked away from Elizabeth. “Don’t worry about my comfort,” she said shortly. “I’m fine.” Her stance became just a bit stiffer, and she closed her eyes for a moment. It didn’t take a genius to figure out she was wrestling with her thoughts.
“Kinda reminds me of all the times me and a couple of friends snuck out at night to hit up a bar or club.” Elizabeth shook her head with a light chuckle. “Though we never got as wild as that party.”
Elizabeth raised a brow at the comment and bumped Farah’s shoulder. “So do you. Everyone deserves a bit of fun at least once in a while.” she tried to encourage.
“Farah… Even I can tell you're not ok.” she admitted softly. “You don't have to tell me anything if you don't want to but just know that you can talk to me.” she reminded gently.
“Leave it to Saul and Andreas,” Farah quipped. “There’s a reason why the Annual Specialists’ Party is annual.”
The fairy turned quickly toward Elizabeth, not expecting the bump. But she relaxed quickly. Though a sad smile appeared on her face. “Some of us aren’t meant to have that luxury, darling.”
Farah shook her head slightly. “I know,” she said quietly. “But I can’t help thinking that this is all my fault. You shouldn’t be here. I took you from where you were happy and whisked you off here and now you’re involved in this…”
Elizabeth couldn't help but laugh at the explanation but nodded. “Makes sense.”
She frowned at the expression on the fairy’s face. “It shouldn't be a luxury. Not in that way.” she argued. “And I stand by what I said. Everyone deserves to have some fun. Including you.”
“None of this is your fault, Farah. I met you on a run in the woods.” she pointed out. “And I offered to let you stay with me. But that doesn't mean it's my fault either. If anything, the blame falls on her.” she nearly growled at the thought before sighing. “I almost want to feel bad for that blood which she’s tricking but his attitude makes it hard.”
Farah didn’t say anything more after Elizabeth’s comment, but her saddened smile faded into her neutral expression once again. In her world, fun and enjoyment were rare luxuries. Farah had rarely been allowed or allowed herself either.
At the indirect mention of Rosalind’s name, Farah’s lip curled with disgust and anger. She shook her head slightly after Elizabeth was done. “It is my fault,” she repeated. “I shouldn’t have made the gateway and brought you here. You deserve better than all of this. Better than me. I’m afraid that now these feelings won’t leave, and l won’t be able to let you go.”
Suddenly, Farah’s eyes widened, and she blinked at her own words. She hadn’t meant to say that…
Elizabeth stood up straighter and looked square at the stubborn fairy. “We had just been attacked by that dumbass jerk and needed to deal with him. Not to mention getting your magic back. We couldn't have left him there.” she replied firmly. “None of this is your fault. I wasn't going to let you be alone.” she reminded, fairly certain that even if Farah had tried to keep her out of this, she still would have found a way here.
Though her expression softened, raising an eyebrow at the last part. “What do you mean?” she almost whispered. They hadn't known each other very long but Elizabeth wasn't dumb. She could read the signs in front of her she just didn't realize when this feeling had started.
Farah parted her lips to argue back with Elizabeth, but she found herself speechless. The other woman was making definitive points. There was nothing Farah could do but accept that unlike her first exposure of a human to the Otherworld, there was nothing she really could've done to stop it this time.
Fuck. Fuckfuckfuckfuckfuck. The softness of Elizabeth's expression and the little arch of her eyebrow made Farah's stomach flip unintentionally. She took a step back and shook her head. "No, I… I'm sorry. I shouldn't have said that." Farah blinked and backed up another step. "I shouldn't have said that," she repeated, quieter.
“Hey…” Elizabeth nearly whispered, gently taking the fairy’s hand. “It's ok. If you're saying what I think you are, it's fine. I’m actually flattered.” she admitted with a slight blush. “But I'm sorry I didn't realize it sooner.” she added, not turning down Farah’s feelings.
Farah jumped as Elizabeth took her hand. “No, it’s… I… Uhm, I don’t…” she stammered her way through several beginnings before blushing profusely. “But I can’t,” Farah whispered. “I shouldn’t… I couldn’t… to you…” Her voice caught in her throat, breaking her words with newfound emotion. “You deserve… much better than me,” she finally managed to say.
Elizabeth waited patiently for Farah to get her words out before gently pulling the fairy into a hug. “What if I wanted you to?” she whispered. “And what I deserve is up for debate. I’m no saint either, I know it, but I would be willing to try this if you want to.” she offered with a kind smile.
Farah let herself be hugged, but Elizabeth’s next words caught her by surprise. She wanted Farah too? How? Why? Torment filled Farah’s eyes. “I’d ruin your life,” she whispered. “I’d take you away from your world and drag you into nothing but chaos.”
“You haven't ruined anything.” she shook her head. “Actually, you brought me back to life. I thought I needed the calm and quiet that I was trying to live with before we met. But now I realize how dull and bored I really was. That's not me.” Elizabeth smirked. “I don't really have anything to go back to. Besides, I like a little chaos.”
Farah listened to the other woman talking, and she realized that she was right. Neither of them had been in a position where they were able to be themselves. Every excuse a Farah could come up with Elizabeth easily found a way around it. But did that really mean what Farah thought it meant? She’d been the victim of this game too many times before. She wouldn’t let it happen again. She needed clarity.
“Are you saying…” Farah trailed off, a small glimmer of hope in her eyes as she looked intently at Elizabeth.
Elizabeth smiled back at Farah and gave a slight nod. “If you want me to stay with you, then I’ll stay. I’ll stay with you.” she assured in a near whisper, gently cupping the fairy’s face. “Farah… May I kiss you?” she whispered as she started leaning in. As much as she wanted to, she wasn't going to do anything without asking first. From what she knew about Farah’s past… She was not going to treat her like that wretched woman did. Ever.
The words broke Farah’s last resolve. Elizabeth didn’t want Farah for her power or for what Farah could provide for her, not like Rosalind had. Gods, Farah didn’t even have her power now, and Elizabeth was looking at her like she was the only thing that mattered.
Farah’s eyes softened, and she studied Elizabeth’s face. Her own was a reflection of her adoration for the woman in front of her as she whispered, “Yes.”
