She gave a slight nod at his assurance, slowly shifting her hand so that she was gently holding his.
"When we do make it to Outhila -because we're going to make it- what are you going to do?" Nym glanced at him, pulling another chip from the bag to nibble at, "If you could do anything, what would you want to do?"
Getting to the border was their first step, certainly, but after that…there was a whole world of possibilities. Nym knew the Outhilian government would be far from welcoming to an enemy soldier, but if he crossed the border as a refugee, he would be greeted much more warmly. Her own plans for what to do were simple enough; get her information to her superiors, then resign from the service and find somewhere to go away from the chaos and death. Rael's plans though, she had no idea if they would align with hers.
She glanced out the window next to him as she asked, watching the scenery pass by. Soon she could imagine the rocky mountains that separated the countries, but until then…it was a long way off.
Rael looked down at their hands. The left corner of his lips curved up into a faint smile as he went back to looking at the road. His sudden happiness was interrupted with her question.
What would he do when they get there? He has heard news about some escaping to Outhila, but all of it is used for propaganda purposes. Still, he knows that officials, soliders, like him get put on trial, locked up for the rest of their lives, then die. Even if that is going to be his life, he still wants to help them even if he is given shame posthumously. Of course if somehow they are miraculously generous and kind to him, he could always do what he had dreamed of before sacrificing it to war.
"I don't know, aren't they just going to put me in prison or give me the death penalty? At this point, I kind of deserve it." He bit his bottom lip in thought. Minutes passed by as he was silent. He was unsure whether or not to tell her what he really wanted to do, then again, he is here with her now; and he does trust her.
"Well, I probably would help your government the best I can with information. Maybe ask your government to see if they have my brother; he's not a solider or anything, just a doctor, but he disappeared awhile ago. Then going to college is the next one; I want to become a professor and also a writer. See my sister, meet my sister-in-law and their son. Then settle down somewhere peaceful and have a family of my own." He smiled before realizing. "Sorry if I carried on too much. Dreams are addicting, it's what helps soldiers carry on in the living hell they are in."
"I know you might have told me, but what are you going to do then?"
Nym shook her head. "Don't apologize, dreams are what people live for."
There was a fair chance that when the got to the border, Rael would be arrested, and Nym wouldn't be able to do anything about it. Though she was going to do her damn best to keep it from happening. If she could get a message out to her contact about Rael… Silently she closed her eyes. It would be a long shot, but she wanted to give him the best chance of living out his dreams as she could.
"Hm? Oh," She opened her eyes and snapped back to the present, a hesitant smile passing over her face, "I want to get away from it all. I want to see my sister and brother, and meet my nephew, but then I want to disappear. Resign from the service, and either travel or find somewhere secluded for some time. Eventually I plan to come back, but I need a break first."
She shrugged, looking out at the road ahead, "It's a stretch, but that's my dream."
Rael briefly glimpsed over at her with a smile then returned his gaze back to the road. "Very insightful and inspiring of you to say."
Are dreams what he really lives for? At this point, other than the goal of getting Nym to the border, he does not have much else. Well, realistically he probably shouldn't. All he can hope for is spending the rest of his life in prison in atonement. Couldn't that be his dream instead? He wishes it was.
Maybe his dream could be her. Not living through hers or just getting her to the border, but living to see Nym go on to accomplish her dreams, even if they get separated.
"It is definitely something worth living for, and for all what you gone through already too," He nodded. "I am sure you will achieve it all."
"You will too," She assured him, leaning her head back against the seat.
Nym couldn't help but think of what Rael would have dreamed if he wasn't stuck helping her. Would he stay in the service? Do like she dreamed and get away from it all? No matter what he would've done, there was no way he could go back to that. A shot of guilt pulled through her. She had uprooted his entire life and what he was dreaming now was simply what he could with the situation at hand.
Still, she didn't ask on it any further, letting silence drift between them for several minutes before asking. "Where's our next stop?" It didn't matter to her, but it was something to talk about to calm the ride down after the chaos at the gas station.
Soldiers always have the fear of what will happen next, even if they have accepted their fate. Rael knows he is a coward for this, but he always pushes the fact towards the back of his head; he doesn't want to admit it. Will he? Only when the time is right. He's not going to blame Nym if he gets thrown into a torture cell. He won't even blame himself to be honest. And to go further, he probably would have died if he stayed back wearing that pathetic uniform.
But that's all hypothetical and it's all in his head. "Hm?" His eyes darted over to get a glimpse of Nym. Facing forward, he bit the inside of his cheek. The image of the map and their plans appeared in his mind. "I think before our final stop for today….there's just one at a small village to get lunch and stretch our legs…We can make another stop before our last one…I don't mind."
Nym shook her head, eyes trained on the road ahead of them. "The fewer stops the better, we should get some distance between us and everything that happened." The chaos from before was still fresh in her mind and she knew there were people now on their trail if the cashier had called in their appearance. Whoever they sent after the two of them, she was certain they would be trained just as good as herself and Rael were trained, possibly even better when it came to tracking them down on their trip.
She trailed off into silence and let things grow quiet, turning over the thought of how to hide from their pursuers. Changing their appearance would help as well as switching the car or ditching it entirely. Other than that, there wasn't much else to do. Changing their path would simply mean it would take them longer to get out of the country, leaving that option off the table as well as the option of asking someone else for help. They could trust no one but the two of them and her correspondences, though she hadn't had access to them since she had been sent into the country.
"Right…Right." What Nym said is most definitely true. They need to get as far from that mess as possible. Rael knows that it won't be over when they do create that distance. It will follow them until they reach the border; it may follow both of them till the end. The only way to make things better is to adapt to this wonderful new addition to their plans. All he can guess now is that there chances of getting caught has raised; they have a tail on them now.
A feeling pinned against his chest. He wasn't sure if it was from yesterday or not. It made his chest tight, causing his heart to feel like there isn't enough space to keep beating. Everything is warm. Rael did his best to breathe, trying to ignore it along with the other thoughts running around in his head. He can't have anything stop from getting to the final stop for today. Looking far ahead, he forced his hands to relax on the steering wheel. His foot followed, slowly relaxing its weight against the gas pedal.
