"Crom," he repeated,
"That's such a cute name with such a sinister meaning,"
He didn't say much else after that, letting the stranger… or, acquaintance, now, he supposed, carry the conversation. Instead, he chose to focus on the ticklish tracing of the pencil on his skin, somehow making him more tired than he already is. He closed his eyes lightly and relaxed into the chair, his vision burning with the relief of the darkness behind his eyelids. They sat nicely like that for a second, before the moment was rudely interrupted by the jerking of Ollie's right shoulder,
"God-Im so sorry-"
"Ah don't worry about it, not the first time someone's fallen asleep in that chair. Just try not to jerk like that while under the needle and we'll be all good." He chuckled softly. "I noticed you looked a little tired when you came in but I figured that was just my eyes playing tricks on me."
Maybe that was what was throwing Mars off about Ollie. He looked exhausted, like he hadn't slept in days. Who knows, maybe he hadn't. Or maybe it'd just been a rough few nights. Who was he to judge other people's sleeping habits?
"Y-yeah- yeah, okay, I won't. Promise." He whispered that last word, settling back into the chair and keeping his eyes glued to the panels in the ceiling.
The sudden jerking wasn't really a "new" symptom per-say. It had been happening for about a week now, but no longer that the other symptoms; sleepless nights, whispering voices, the dark tall man that stands in his room and stares all night. Every night he tells himself that man isn't there, and every night his eyes get closer to his shivering form, demanding something, Ollie just wasn't sure what.
He squeezed his eyes shut and then shot them back open again, trying to focus them on the specks of dust that littered the ceiling.
Mars paused in his tracing, tilting his head curiously at Ollie. "Do you need me to turn the lights down? If they're bothering you I can dim them." He couldn't quite explain the odd feeling in his chest that gripped him at seeing Ollie so uncomfortable but it was there and it wasn't going away.
It was like a rock had lodged itself in the space between his heart and lungs, squeezing uncomfortably whenever his heart pumped. It was…weird. Really weird. He hadn't felt like this in his entire time on Earth, what was it about him that was suddenly changing that?
"Yes, if you wouldn't mind…" Ollie's voice cracked softly, and he mentally cursed himself for the sudden change in mood.
This was partially why he didn't go out of his way to socialise. What started as a joyful conversation had turned awkward by his own hand, as it had many times. He swallowed back the lump in his throat and blamed the water building in his eyes on the fact he had yet to blink.
"Sorry." He whispered again, barely audible.
"Nah, don't worry about it. I usually keep them lower cause you wouldn't believe how many hangover tattoos I do but y'know, working in that low light ain't good for the eyes so I cranked them up. Honestly, they were kinda giving me a headache so thanks for giving me a reason to turn them back down." He dimmed the lights, sighing in relief as he rubbed his eyes. "Ah, my retinas burn."
He blinked hard a couple of times before going back to finish up his stencil. "Anyway, where was I? Something, something, oh, Penny chopped her hair off and got a head tattoo, right. I swear to you, I have never and will never meet a woman as insane as she was." It's no wonder she died of a cocaine overdose in the 60s, she was off her rocker.
Ollie nodded along slowly, still caught in his thoughts. His finger traced his right thigh, up and down, just like his Babaanne had he was little.
It was a stupid thought to have, the feeling of self-worth slip lightly through his fingertips as he stopped to consider the reason he was ever put on this earth, all within the span of a few seconds.
An "overreaction", his anne would call it, then she would smack him over for being so silly.
"You're as unique as the petal of a flower," Babaanne would whisper to him, wiping the tears from his face. He mirrored her past movements at that moment, swiping away the tear that rolled down his cheek while Mars was distracted.
Mars paused in his rambling, scanning over Ollie's face. That rock was still in his chest, like his heart knew something was still wrong but he couldn't put his finger on what. He hooked a finger under Ollie's chin, forcing him to look Mars in the eyes. "Hey, you doing okay? I've been told I'm a great listener when I finally shut my mouth."
There was something wrong. But Mars had no idea what it was and, frankly, it was none of his business to know. Ollie was literally a stranger that had walked into his shop ten minutes ago, he wasn't privy to his life details. "You don't have to tell me but sometimes having an outside opinion can make you feel better."
"I'm just-" he took a quick, shuddered breath,
"It just hasn't been a good week."
While that wasn't technically a lie, It was certainly a gross understatement. The past week had been one of the worse since Babaanne's death.
"Sorry for crying, shit- this so embarrassing. The tattoo hasn't even started yet." he let a wet chuckle slip out between suppressed sobs,
"I'm sorry," the phrase was repeated for the umpteenth time,
"This has just been so fast, I haven't had a moment to take it in. Let's just- get this over with so I can cross it off the list."
"Hey, don't apologize. It's not your fault that your week has been crap and I don't judge you for that. Trust me, there have been blood, sweat, and tears in this chair, you don't have to worry." He offered a reassuring smile before letting Ollie's head drop and moving to prep his gun.
"You said list. What, is getting a tattoo a bucket list item for you?" Bucket lists were another thing that just fascinated Mars. A list of things you want to do in the time after you can go out on your own and before you die. In comparison to his lifespan, it was the blink of an eye. Such a small amount of time yet so much to do.
Ollie smeared the ball of his hand against his wet cheek,
"Yeah, something like that," the answer was short and sharp, his eyes now pulled away from Mars and settled on the wall of portraits again.
The old ones sparked his emotions the most. People of different shapes and sizes, all from such a fragile period, connected by their love of an art. He wondered if they were still alive somewhere, reflecting on the memories their ink-spotted skin held.
His skin was the same, yet completely different. Instead of illustrated drawings of self-expression, marks of self-loath littered his body, reminding him of the sins he carried with him.
Mars finished setting up the tattoo gun and rolled back over to Ollie's side. "I never really understood bucket lists. Like, I get the sentimentality behind it but it seems a little depressing, ya know? You have this list of things you wanna do before you die and so many people do it so young like they expect to die tomorrow. It confounds me, truly. So much to do, so little time."
He shrugged. "Who knows, maybe I'm just a pessimist. But can you blame me? Humanity's obsession with "We may die tomorrow, might as well go out with a bang" is as depressing as it is inspiring."
"…yeah"
The sensation of a thin wipe ran delicately over his scar made the hair on his arm prick up, sensitive from the cool air and the tingle of the disinfectant mixing.
might as well go out with a bang.
That's been his mindset these past few hours, giving in to temptation because, fuck, he'd probably never get to again.
The diagnosis wasn't a surprise. His mother had died of it, and so had his aunt. No, what surprised him was how quickly it happened, how young it was going to take him.
Mars gave Ollie one final once over with a slight smile. "Ready? Last chance to rethink everything and run out of here screaming."
It was a chance he gave all of his clients. Last chance to rethink. Last chance to back out. It was a common courtesy that the gods had extended him and ignored which had landed him here. So now he always offered it in earnest.
"Yes." was all he said, mind wrapped up in a cocktail of anxiety and heartache.
He tensed as the small needle grazed his skin, marking it with the same dark colour it had Mars. It reminded him of a blood test, a gentle pinch followed by a burn, it made him bite his lip to keep in a cry. He white-knuckled the side of the chair and closed his eyes, his ridged body staying as still as it possibly could.
Mars worked as quickly but carefully as he could. He could tell Ollie was scared and uncomfortable, could practically feel his heart beating out of his chest from under his fingertips. He leaned in close to get the details, his breath coming in uneven half-gasps as he choked on air when he felt his breath warm his face from where it rebounded off Ollie's skin. Something about being this close, about having Ollie like this, it felt…strange. Strange in a way he'd never felt with another person ever. Strange in a…good way. The buzz of the tattoo gun which was usually like an angry bee swarming around his head was but a dull afterthought compared to the sound of his heart pounding in his ears.
Oleander opened his mouth to say something but choked.
The air around them was thick with something he couldn't really pinpoint, be it tension or just general awkwardness.
He kept his mouth shut from then on, only letting the occasional whimper. He closed his eyes and tried to relax his muscles, but the buzzing of the gun kept every nerve in his body one high alert.
to late to go back now he supposed,
might as well stick it through
Mars only sat back once he was done, taking his first real breath in who knows how long. "And there we are. Congrats, you just made it through your first tattoo. How's it feel?" He couldn't help but smile when he asked. He always loved hearing how people felt once their tattoos were done depending on their meaning. Some people felt relief, some felt comfort, some just felt better about themselves. It gave him a strange sense of satisfaction that he couldn't quite explain.
The tinging sensation of irritated skin burnt his chest, but it was the most he's felt alive in months
"Good. It feels good to cross something off the list, thank you."
He took the mirror from Mars' hands and held it out in front of him, studying the intricate patterns and swirls of the plant. It reminded him of something he had seen once growing in his grandmothers garden, and old, droopy plant with vibrant flowers that vined along the wall. The tattoo itself vined similar, following the curve of the scar under his breast.
Mars watched him for a minute, tracing over the lines with his eyes. "You'll have to keep me updated on that bucket list, maybe you can get a new tattoo for every one you cross off." He laughed, mostly joking. "Depending on how long the list is, you could end up with a whole sleeve by the time you finish it."
Oleander frowned slightly. Mars had been so quick to pick up on the fact he was working on a bucket list of all things, was he really being that obvious?
"Ha, yeah, well, I don't think I'll have time for all that- you know-" He tried to joke, but not even he was sure what he meant by that.
"Uh, thank you, for the tattoo, how much?"
Mars looked over the tattoo for a minute, contemplating. Logically, he knew how much he should charge for it but something in him really didn't want to.
He shook his head with a smile, pushing himself back. "Y'know what, I like you. Just take it. Consider it a gift for saving me from my boredom with a fun story."
A confused half-smile crossed his face,
"What- really? Like its free?"
Ollie slowly stood to his feet, hands clumsily dance around each button of his shirt. They made their way back to the front of the store in a sort of stunned silence,
"Hey- um- take this"
Ollie handed him a smooth, green card, a logo with beautiful flowers and curved writing grace the front and back.
"Its a card- from where I work. Its a little flower shop down the street." He paused as they reached the front counter, laying his sun-graved hands on the cool metal,
"Come by sometime, if you need flowers, I mean. Its on the house, to say thanks, for being such a good listener…and- you know, the tattoo."
