Her no-nonsense look completely faded, her mouth falling open just slightly. Her heart twisted into a knot, her voice stuck in the back of his throat. She blinked multiple times, in attempt to rid of her own tears. "L-Lucas…" She said softly, her posture deflating rather instantly. Unable to keep them back, tears filled her eyes and she let go of his hand to hold it to her face. "Y-you… why didn't you tell me?" She asked, her voice breaking her lower lip shaking just slightly. It would look as if she was the one being abused. Of course, that wasn't entirely untrue, but as of the moment, he mattered more.
"I-I'm sorry! I… I didn't mean to make you cry, I… I'm s-so sorry… please…" Lucas's own tears threatened to spill out of his eyes and he took a couple steps back, now shaking harder. He was quickly losing the ability to string together coherent sentences and was mostly whispering apologies over and over again. "P-Please d… don't… l-lea… leave… s-sorry… so sorry, p-please…" He stammered weakly.
Her tears diminished quickly, and she stepped up closer to him. "Hey, hey, I promised I wouldn't. Remember?" She asked, taking his hand again. "Shhh, you didn't do anything wrong, don't freak out." She whispered, bringing the back of his hand up to her lips. Gently, she pressed a soft kiss to it, in attempt to soothe him. "I need you to calm down honey, please." She kept whispering, trying all she could to keep him calm. She wasn't the best, but she did what she could. "You can do that, can't you?"
Lucas drew in a few quick, shaky breaths, rubbing at his teary eyes. He wasn't in a stable enough emotional state to appreciate the affection or kind words from Melissa. He just kept stringing together apology after apology as he struggled to keep his tears from spilling out over his cheeks. He couldn't be weak in front of Melissa. Not again. She deserves so much better than you. You're pathetic. He told himself.
Lacing their fingers together, she reached up to wipe his tears away. "I believe you can relax Lucas, just breath." She continued to try and soothe. "You're a great guy, you shouldn't have to go through any of this." Melissa told him, leading him back inside. Shutting the door, she continued to lead him up the stair case, towards her bedroom. "Come on, I think you should lie down for a few minutes."
Lucas just let her drag him along, trying desperately to calm himself down. "I'm s… I'm s-sorry I ruined the walk…" He said weakly, sitting down on the bed when he was brought to it. Breathing exercises, remember? Don't be such a fucking idiot. In four, hold seven, out eight. Remember? He obeyed his rather rude inner voice and tried the breathing techniques he'd learned for situations like this.
Sitting on the bed, she pulled Lucas closer to herself. "You didn't ruin a thing honey, if anything, this is my fault." She whispered, gently rubbing his shoulder. The whole thing was hard to take in, but she did. Trying to piece together how long this had been going on, she didn't want to ask. It might set off something, she didn't want to start. This was enough for her right now. "Do you want to lie down?"
He shook his head. He might pass out if he laid down, and he didn't want Melissa to have to deal with that. He hadn't slept well in ages. After a few seconds of hesitation and breathing techniques, he allowed himself to lean into Melissa a bit. It helped relax him to some extent, but he figured he'd regret it later. He was already regretting everything, actually.
A gentle smile formed on his lips. Resting her head on his shoulder, she stroked his back. "What can I do to help you Luc?" Melissa was beyond worried for him, and she felt useless. She wasn't able to help him, there was nothing she could do. Unless he told her she could. But he wouldn't, he wouldn't ask her for anything. So she assumed. "I can do anything at all, you just have to ask." She whispered, feeling her eyes getting heavy.
"I just… I need a moment… I'm sorry…" Lucas continued his structured breathing, which seemed to be helping him some. He kept his eyes closed, afraid to meet Melissa's eyes, and he just looked utterly exhausted. He was drained, physically and mentally, and he didn't know what to do. He rarely got much sleep at his house since he lived in constant fear of his father.
Melissa fell quiet, and only continued to massage his shoulder gently. "Don't apologize," She said before quietness overtook her. It killed her, being unable to do anything, so she just sat there listening to his breathing. '1, 2, 3, 4…' She counted, attempting to keep accords of what he was suppose to be doing. If she could remember, maybe she could help in case of the next time.
After a few minutes of this, Lucas seemed to have finally relaxed. He sighed softly and began to breathe more normally, carding his fingers through his hair. "Sorry about that…" He said softly, opening his eyes to look up at Melissa. "Didn't mean to get so worked up…"
Relived he was alright, she looked to him with a calmed look. "You are totally alright." Melissa reassured him, pulling away. "But you seriously need to stop apologizing for things you can't exactly control." A laugh came from her lips, when she spoke to him. Smiling, she took his hand in hers, running her thumb along the back of his hand. "And don't apologize for apologizing."
Lucas shut his mouth, which he'd opened to apologize, of course. He blushed a bit in embarrassment and glanced away again. "It's a habit…" He replied, clearly struggling to avoid saying 'sorry' after everything. "I should have told you sooner, I just… I dunno…" He sighed. "I didn't want to upset you or burden you with my problems or anything. You already had to deal with so much after Claus and mom…"
The girl looked at him, shaking her head. "Come on Lucas, I didn't have to deal with anything." She said softly, sliding off the bed to stand in front of him. She was being honest, she never looked at it that way. Melissa always looked at it, as if it were a favor, or even just helping her friend. And that's what she was doing. Helping her friend, even know. "I wanted to help you, that's what I'm here for. You can tell me anything and everything, you'll never hurt me so bad that I won't come back." She promised him, looping her arms around him.
"Don't undermine yourself, Mel… there's no way I'd be here right now if it weren't for your help." Lucas hugged her back tightly, really savoring the healthy physical touch. He felt safe with Melissa; he knew she wouldn't ever hurt him on purpose. "I had- well, have - a shit ton of problems, and you have to deal with me. I'm sorry."
Her chest formed another knot, and she couldn't help feeling awful. He did have a lot of problems, but she did her best to ignore them. He was still a human boy after all. "Come on Lu," She said softly, pulling away just slightly to look into his incredibly blue eyes. "I know you think that, but you're my best friend. I want to help you, even if that means dealing with things I shouldn't have to."
Lucas was clearly feeling immensely guilty as well. "And I really appreciate that, but I'm… I'm still really sorry…" He fidgeted nervously, looking away again. "Y-You deserve better, Melissa. I'm a horrible friend…"
A slight laugh came from her, looking completely amused. "You? A horrible… good grief Lucas!" She laughed more, unable to stop herself. "Come on, you should know better than that. You have your problems, it doesn't make you a terrible friend. I have plenty of problems." She admitted, tilting his chin back up to look at her.
"And I can't help you nearly as much as I should be helping." Lucas managed to meet Melissa's eyes, looking like he felt legitimately guilty. "If I were a good friend, then I… I don't know… you'd be happier. You'd have less problems. I'm really sorry, Mel. I am. I-I'm trying, but I just… I'm sorry…"
"Hey, shhh, you're going to start up again." She whispered, her smile softening to a more motherly like smile. "I am perfectly happy Lucas, trust me, you'd know if I wasn't." She told him, leaning forwards to rest her forehead against his. "Don't worry about me, I'm doing just fine. You have enough to worry about, don't add me to that list."
"It's a bit late for that…" Lucas laughed weakly, closing his eyes. "You've been on the list a long time. But in all honesty… are you sure you're okay?" He asked softly. "I'd hate for you to be struggling while I'm over here needing constant emotional support or whatever."
"I'm fine Lucas." She told him, forcing up a smile. That wasn't the full truth, but of course it wasn't. She never asked him for support on her problems, she never asked anyone actually. Forcing herself to get through it by herself, she held up the good girl appearance her parents expected from her. Her own brother didn't ever ask if she was OK. He just assumed. It killed her to lie to him, but she didn't want to burden him with anything. He already had her on his worry list, she didn't want to give him reasons to worry.
"No, you're not." He said simply, sighing. "I know your real smile, Mel, and that isn't it. What's wrong?" He asked softly, gently taking her hand. "I want to help you. You deserve to be helped. You're a good person."
Her smile dropped, and she felt the knot only get tighter. Her eyes grew just slightly, and with one glance she couldn't keep looking at him. "It's nothing Luc, don't worry about it." She told him turning her face away from him. 'Stop it! You just need to relax. You know he won't stop, so just get yourself together Melissa!' Harshly she scolded herself, trying to find something to say. "I don't really feel like talking about it, honestly."
