Whenever he looks at a picture of Areum or at their children, he always gets transported back to the first day they met. Her smile. The way her eyes lit up. He always remembered. "Beautiful in every way," He mused before adding on, "Just like those two." Now he was looking at a picture of Mina and Adnois from their first birthday. Both of them were laughing in the picture; they have same sparkle in their eyes just like Areum. He sighed while looking.
For a split second, he slightly tilted his head to the right. Why is Felix thanking him? His eyes lingered on the photos. They blinked. What should he say? Thank you for not pulling back on my sleeves? Thank for not asking about my scars? Thank you for saving me from myself? Thank you for looking after my children? Thank you for not being weirded about by me? Thank you for spending time with me? He didn't know how to talk in moments like these….he just never learned how to.
He stared at Felix. He stared into those eyes he was always curious of. They are fascinating to him. But then, Damian took a step forward, gently wrapping his arms around Felix. "I should be saying the same to you."
It's abundantly clear to Felix exactly how much Damian loves both Areum and his kids. The detective claims that all their good qualities had been inherited from their mother, but Felix makes a living off of reading people and he can clearly see Damian's intelligence and inquisitiveness in the children. The gambler's too busy staring at the photographs that he doesn't notice Damian suddenly step beside him and bring him into a loose embrace. Felix smiles, tipping his chin so his nose is practically touching Damian's.
"Well, I thank you for that, Damian," Felix says quietly. "I guess the two of us have had a beneficial partnership." As he says it, Felix carefully places his hands atop of Damian's shoulders and then slides them around his neck. Felix stares right into his dark eyes. God, screw all the shitty songs about the perfect man with ocean blue eyes. Blue is overrated. Who needs blue when he has Damian's inky eyes less than four inches in front of him. "Mm. You have good eyes," he says because suddenly all the charm has left his body when he's this close to Damian.
Beneficial. That's one way to describe it. Damian wondered, what even is this partnership? First it was just for the case, but now it's bled out into something else. It was detective and gambler, but what are they now? Does he dare to ask this question? He wonders if such a thing could be possible even in the middle of an investigation or his grieving.
He could feel Felix's hands brushing against his skin as they moved around his neck. When he blinked, he saw those wide almost golden irises staring into his. Somehow he placed his hands on Felix's waist. This isn't happening. He must be drunk. Sure he only had a few sips of wine, but it could be possible. "Is this just a partnership?" He hesitantly whispered.
At first, he said or did nothing. His jaw hung agape. He stared for a while before breaking into laughter. His head tilted back while his shoulders lightly bounced. "Yah, neo gae saekki, huh?" The detective continued to laugh until he needed to take a breath. "Felix, you have good eyes too. And a good heart and a good looking face…and oh-" He removed his right hand to fix a strand of Felix's hair sticking out. "And hair too."
The question is terrifying. Yes? No? Perhaps? God, Felix hates the word perhaps. He wants a concrete answer. No. Yes. Perhaps. Felix wants nothing more than to stomp the damn word into the ground. He wants to be a little more than a partnership. There's reciprocated feelings. There's a comfortable air. There's so many secrets that Felix has shared with Damian that he waited years to even crack open with his closest friends. However, before he can get out a plausible answer, Felix's dumb mouth spews a subpar compliment and Damian pauses.
It's amusing to watch the gears turn behind the detective's eyes, as if his hanging jaw had been a pully to trigger the thinking. The detective's laugh pulls Felix from his internal ramblings. "Stop it, I'm blushing," Felix drawls, his smile widening. "And my hair better be good. I've spent a lot of money on it." He can't help but his own small laugh. He wants to tip his head on Damian's shoulder, but that means looking away from him. Felix doesn't want to do that. Not yet.
"And–" He sobers. "And, yeah. Is this just a partnership, Damian?" Felix's hands tighten around Damian's neck as he tips his chin closer. "Because I think I would like this to be just… just a little more."
Felix's words gave him both relief and anxiety at the same time. Damian wished he had time to pick a part which thoughts were relief and those that were just his anxiety spiraling. He wants this thing between them to a little more too. Yet his eyes glimpsed back at the wedding picture of Areum. It's been five years, and he hadn't thought of moving on. Sure, he somehow finally mustered up the courage to take off his wedding band, but he's scared. Can he move on and be scared to at the same time? In the midst of this, he found himself briefly looking at the pictures of Adonis and Mina.
While his mind darted around, his lips trembled. They waited for words to fall out, but nothing happened. All he could do was stare. Stare at the pictures, his past, and Felix, that's all he was able to do. He was perfectly fine a while ago. For once in the last five years, maybe even his entire life, he felt okay and things could get better for everyone.
"You do?" It was all he could say at first. His eyes were wide in disbelief. A part of him thought that this wasn't happening. "I want this to be something more. I want it to be more. I want it to be a different kind of partnership too."
There's a slight panic in Damian's eyes. There's conflict, there's a clash, there's a collision between his old life meeting a new one and Felix knows how unsure Damian is about the whole ordeal. "Doll, you don't have to make any quick decisions," he says softly. "If you need time, I'll wait for you. Simple as that." The feelings are there. They've already been reciprocated. Felix only prays they won't fade if Damian needs a little while to process it all, to get accustomed to the thought of something as new and exciting as Felix.
"And yeah, I really want this to be something more." He means every word. It's been a while since he's felt like this for someone, been a long, long time since he's felt willing to trust himself to another like this. He could laugh at Damian's eager response. Maybe the detective won't need as much time as he thought. "God, I'm so glad. I'm so glad you feel this way, Damian." Felix swallows his anxieties. "And I really want to kiss you right now."
"It's fine…It's fine…It's just that I never expected anything like this to happen to me again," He admitted. Part of him felt weightless. It wasn't numbness or indifference or anything related to the two. He felt different and all the same as he was a long time ago. Whatever kind of partnership is going on between him and Felix right now is kind of scary, but Damian knows that he will be fine. Just as he always tells Adonis and Mina, it's all about taking one step at a time. Guess it's time for him to actually practice what he preached.
In a matter of seconds, his face flushed pink. The corners of his lips delicately lifted up into a smile. His head tilted to the left as he listened to Felix. Again his eyes expanded, but this time it wasn't out of anxiety or anything. He was just taken aback for the millionth time in a row; for good reason, of course. Turning to the side, he quietly cleared his throat then said, "I think you really should." Damian tried to meet Felix's eyes with his, but they fell on his lips. His adam's apple bobbed. He sighed, "Vamos…bésame, Felix. Bésame."
(omg after 16 months,,, they finally kiss)
"I'm happy to be your second go at this," Felix whispers. "And I know Areum would want you to be happy like this." Trying to at least withhold his massive smile, Feliz awaits Damian's response. Their partnership, well, isn't quite professional anymore, but has Felix ever been good at those types of relationships? Professional is annoying, stuffy, restrictive–Felix doesn't want anything like that with Damian. He wants ease and trust and funny little half-embraces like they're sharing now.
"Well, si insistes." And Felix doesn't need any more permission to tip his head up, closing the short distance between them as he slowly presses his lips to Damian's. It starts chaste, barely even there before Felix pulls away, eyes half lidded. Before he really knows what he's doing, hes leaning in to kiss Damian Mae again and again and suddenly his place in the world clicks and it's right here.
(azgsjalzhkja it's about time lmao)
His second go. Another attempt at this…No Damian never expected it to happen. He even buried himself in his work to ignore any chances of thinking about possibly going out with someone ever again. This is different though. They'll have to be careful when working together and until the case is closed. And he'll have to make sure that Adonis and Mina are fine with this too. He needs their approval more than anything, but he's overthinking everything now.
Step by step, Damian tried to take in everything. All of his senses melted as Felix's and his lips pressed together. The hairs on the back of his neck stood up. A shaky breath barely passed through his lips after the first kiss. He set his hand on the side of Felix's cheek with his thumb slowly brushing left to right. His lips followed along, welcoming each and every single kiss. Damian could not move from where he stood. He didn't want to, he didn't want to move on from this moment. Just a little longer…
Despite how right this feels, Felix can't stop the swell of guilt as he eventually pulls away. He's kissed plenty of people since his last big relationship (the one that was never even satisfyingly resolved) and he's flirted with more people than he can count, yet he still somehow got feelings for the stuffy detective he originally wanted nothing to do with. Felix found the man who was still grieving his dead wife and practically inserted himself into Damian's life. But… but they both needed each other. Felix had to be brought down in some way and Damian needed someone to pull him up. Funny, feelings are weird like that.
"Was that okay?" Felix asks, his voice far to soft to even be considered his own. His eyes are still shut, his forehead still resting on Damian's. There's butterflies swarming his chest and its been quite a few years since he's felt them after a kiss. Carefully, he opens his eyes and finds himself looking straight into Damian's. The sun has gone down, their shadows long where they stand beside Damian's photographs.
Damian breathed. His hand cupped Felix's cheek even though he had his eyes shut. Five years, that's how long it has been since he has kissed or been kissed by someone. It's been that long since he was able to have one moment where he didn't need to worry because he had someone with him. The kisses and small embraces were like a breath of fresh air. Part of him still clung to the grief; he felt it, but he felt content again in this moment. Something in him changed though. He felt safe again; he wondered if Felix felt the same too. Damian wanted him to be.
The question prompted him to open his eyes. Even though Felix still had his closed for awhile, he stared at him. Despite the aread being dark and dimly lit, he observed some of the pictures close by for a couple of seconds. Damian looked back at Felix, giving him a nod. "It was more than okay." His thumb caressed the side of Felix's cheek. A shiver made his shoulders tensed. His breath hitched before he sighed. This all seemed too good to be true to him. Damian smiled before chuckling softly. "If this is some sort of dream, I don't want to wake up. Somehow it seems like you have made the impossible possible."
The hand on Felix's cheek is warm, grounding. It's been a long, long time since he's been brought out of his head and ego. He has both feet on the ground. Felix laughs, leaning in to deliver one, two quick kisses right to Damian's lips. "Well, you're awfully sappy after being kissed for the first time in half a decade." He doesn't have to ask to know it's been far too long for the detective. "And it's my damn job to make the impossible possible. Spiting the universe is a favorite hobby of mine."
Felix reluctantly pulls away, finding the clock on the oven. It's late. Very late and Felix can still feel the slight buzz of the wine poking at his mind. "It's late," he notes because he's Sherlock Holmes. "Do you mind if I–" he cuts himself off, but since he's already started the sentence, he'll be damned if he doesn't finish. "If I stay here for the night? I could stay on the couch and you need someone to take you back to the car we abandoned in the parking garage." He cracks a smile, hoping that it doesn't come off as too brash. He just barely got past Damian's damn armor. He isn't going to ruin it by taking this all too quick.
It had been half a decade; not anymore. He would have argued it hadn't made him sappy yet he decided to concide and roll his eyes. "Yah. Be grateful I have the capability to be sappy." With his index finger, he lightly touched the tip of Felix's nose. As much as he can be stern and strait laced, it is possible for him to be other things. He just never knew it would be possible to be anything else.
Damian turned to take a look at the time. It is getting late. Plus, he would rather not have Felix to take the risk of driving, even after just a drink. He smiled, "Sure, I don't mind." Walking over to the sofa, he started to look around it for any toys that may be hidden. Of course, he had picked up a few things then sat them down on the coffee table. Pressing down on the sofa, he hummed to himself. "I'll go get you a pillow and some blankets then. Hold on a minute." He kept extra sheets and blankets in his closet. As his hand touched the door handle, he got an idea. What if he asked- No. He shook his head then went into his bedroom.
"For the record, I love it when you're a little sappy, Damian," Felix laughs and leans against the wall as Damian ensures that there's no hidden toys in the couch cushions. There had been a couple. Felix wonders if that's what it's always like having kids–cleaning up their forgotten messes and tucking them into bed. Sweet, domestic, something Felix doubts he'd ever be quite good at it. He gambles and drinks and throws loud parties with louder music, all of those hardly suitable for kids.
"Don't leave me waiting too long," Felix teases as Damian disappears down the hall. While he waits, Felix turns and studies each of the photographs. Piecing together the emotion, the setting, and the actions, Felix can almost imagine himself right there with Areum and Damian. He can hear the conversation, the easy smiles, the soft looks and tender touches. It all pulls at his stupid heart. With a huff, Felix brings out his phone and gets on the first social media he can. Bypassing all the obnoxious pop-ups and notifications, he finds the man he hasn't had the heart to unfollow, even though they've been broken up for months. The most recent post was from two days ago, Drew Donovan standing at a podium with a bright smile and crisp suit. Some sort of charity celebration, damn that philanthropist. Always using his douchebag father's money for something better. Tall, dark hair, slightly sad eyes–God, Felix hates to admit that he has a type. Before he can get too caught up in memories, Felix unfollows the account and hides it from his page for good measure. That chapter's over. It's been over for a while, Felix just hasn't had the guts to flip the page.
All of the extra blankets and stuff were tucked in a bin in the corner of his closet. Damian was supposed to put them in another room, but never had the motivation to do so. He bit the corner of his lip trying to pick out which one to give; there's too many for him to simply pick one and be done with it. His hand lifted up the corner of a blanket before going down to lift another and another. Most of them had flower prints or were at least ten years old. All of them were thick and heavy too. He decided to settle with a pink blanket covered in various purple, white, green, and orange flowers. Then he grabbed a pillow, covering it with a clean pillowcase.
The blanket slightly dragged behind him as he strolled over to the couch. "You sure you'll be alright out here?" He asked. Once again, he checked all of the sofa cushions before placing the pillow down. "You can always come to my room." Damian unfolded the blanket then laid it out on the sofa. The realization of his words only had hit him when he looked over towards Felix. "Uhh…" He stiffly patted a sofa cushion. "I mean if you need another blanket or anything…of course."
Felix has just finished texting his friends back when Damian reappears with a pillow and blanket in tow. He has to smile at the outrageous pattern. Felix is fairly certain he owns a tie with the same fabric. "I'm fine here, doll, don't worry. I've slept in much worse places." Bars, Sticky floors, holding cells, stranger's apartments, dirty Ubers, the list goes on for far too long. Damian's next words halt him, mid-text, but the detectives quick backtracking makes him laugh.
"Damian, if I didn't know any better I'd say you were inviting me to bed." He grins, leaning in so his nose is barely brushing the other's. The sentence serves as both a tease and an invite, but hes only serious if Damian would allow it. Of course, Felix has known people for hardly hours before finding himself in their bed, but this time is obviously different. Damian is different.
Was it really that obvious? He wondered if it would be considered moving too fast. Honestly, he wouldn't mind. Sleeping alone, it always feels weird to him. Damian also thought that it would be weird to have Felix sleep out on the couch after they just kissed. Although, he worried that him asking Felix to join him in bed would also be….weird. Yet now, after not-so-subtly asking him, it doesn't seem odd or anything. It's Felix. One of the weirdest people Damian has ever met, but it always seems to be right whenever he's with him.
His face turned pink almost instantly. Damian liked his lips as he looked away. "I mean…." He tried to piece together what he wanted to say. His eyes moved side to side as he was thinking. "I would be okay with it if you are…if that's something you want." He smiled while gazing back, "The bed is more comfortable than the sofa."
Watching the man scramble has to be the most amusing thing Felix has seen in a while. His red face, stuttering words, backtracking and correcting–Damn, Felix is down bad for this mess of a man. This relationship is going to be a strange one, but Fekix has never really been one to back down from a challenge. He might as well leech himself to Damian's side until he has to get a crowbar to pry him away.
"All you had to do was ask, darlin'." Felix cups Damian's cheek, turning his gaze to Felix’s before placing a chaste kiss to his lips. He tries to think about how long its been since he's just laid with another and deducts only that it's been too long. "No funny business," he whispers just a hair away. He winks. "That'll at least have to wait for the second date, Detective Mae."
"Hm?" He did, didn't he? Well, he tried to ask. The possibility of Felix saying no and being weirded out was a possibility that Damian grew anxious over. But…the train of thought was interrupted by Felix's kiss. That silly little worry was nothing. The weight of Felix's hands on his cheeks was worth more. Then he realized that his face was warming up.
Licking his lips, he hummed softly. A soft chuckle rose from his throat. His brows pressed together. Funny business? Second date? Damian shook his head, "I think I'm too tired to do any funny business." Taking Felix's hand, he led him to the bedroom. "The best I can do for now is cuddle, if you want to."
There isn't much to Damian's room aside from the closet, bed, wardrobe, and an ivory desk with a mirror. He had been planning to hang up some maps, murals, and photos that are in his home office, but he never had the time nor motivation to do so. The walls were painted black from the time him and Areum had moved into the house. His matching black bedsheets were neatly laid out. He let go of Felix's hand then strolled over to the left side of the bed.
"I think we're both a little too tired for funny business," Felix responds, allowing himself to be dragged to the master bedroom. His heart flips at the simple thought of cuddling and if that doesn't say anything about Felix’s current intimacy status, he isnt sure what will. His internal bisexual interior designer desperately wants to spice up the walls, but he decides that'll be for another time. Black walls… Gold accents? Is that egotistical to throw his favorite color onto these sad, drab, unfortunate empty spaces? Probably. Eh, Felix decides that's an issue for Tomorrow Felix to deal with.
One of the wardrobe draws is left slightly ajar, inside just being simple t-shirts and basketball shorts. Well, pajamas. "Doll, do you mind if I steal some of these?" He points to the dresser. "I'd really rather not sleep in this fantastic outfit." He points to himself. A quick laugh breaks from his lips as he's unable to hold a serious face for too long. He quickly checks his battery life on his phone (45%) and notes Rhyda’s response to Felix asking her yo feed Jackpot in the morning as well. It's one vomit emoji which Felix knows is code for "have fun at your stupid one night stand whore. I'll make sure your stupid weasel doesn't starve."
Lifting his chin up, he looked to see what Felix was talking about. He laughed a little before nodding. "Well, you don't want to wrinkle such an outfit." Most of the shirts in the drawer were the same as the one he is currently wearing. Sure there's some short sleeve ones, but he always preferred wearing long sleeves even in the hot Las Vegas weather. Letting his eyes look Felix up and down, he returned to untucking the sheets at all the corners. "Pick out whatever you want. Bathroom is the first door on the left."
He moved around the bed in a lethargic manner. If he got into bed now, he would immediately fall asleep. It has been a painfully long day, but he didn't want it to end so soon. Damian sat on the edge of the bed. The frame squeaked as he sat down. His eyes blinked slowly. He felt his phone buzz in his left pocket, but didn't bother to check it. Instead he placed it on the nightstand then put the charger in. As Damian yawned, he turned the vibration off. Whatever it is, he can deal with it tomorrow.
"Fantastic," Felix says, bending directly at the waist to look through the drawer. Long sleeves, shorts, what looks like a beige novelty t-shirt handed out at charity events. Not wanting to spend too much time trifling through the clothes, Felix grabs the first ones he decides won't be entirely atrocious before finding the doorframe. "I'll be back in a minute, doll." He spares one last look to Damian before ducking out of the room and finding the modest bathroom directly where the detective had told him it would be.
He makes quick work of changing, avoiding his reflection until he's fully dressed back in pajamas. He leans into the mirror, checking his teeth and hair for any foreign objects. There's a brush sitting on the counter, one that he can tell is Damian's from the hair length and miniscule smell of product, but Felix figures that the product in his own hair will have to sit overnight. Same thing with the small touches of concealer and eyeliner just barely sitting on his features. Really, the small bits of makeup he wears on a day-to-day basis are nothing compared to what he occasionally dons when helping his friends out with the band. Regardless of how much he's wearing, Felix knows if his dear old dad saw, it would just send him hurtling that much closer to the grave.
Shaking his head, Felix grabs his folded day clothes and exits the bathroom, making his way back to Damian's room. "You alright?" Felix asks upon seeing his exhausted posture. He drops his clothes onto the top of a chair and carefully takes his seat on the other side of the bed.
Damian sat on the edge, waiting for Felix. He tried to go over everything that he needs to do tomorrow. When he was in the bedroom earlier, he called off going to work tomorrow. It just seemed necessary to do. He didn't want to sit in that office all day feeling sluggish and detached from everything. Even with taking time off, Damian was still thinking about work one way or another. He considered having a laundry day, possibly adding stuff to the bedroom walls, or cleaning around the house. It would be a dream to just lay in bed all day, but he knew that wouldn't be happening.
"Hm?" He hummed, looking over his shoulder at Felix. Must've not noticed him coming back in. Slowly he got to his feet. A soft smile appeared on his face. "Oh yeah, I'm fine." He lifted the covers and got underneath them. The mattress wasn't too firm nor too soft. There was an exhausted feeling that arose in him as he relaxed into the bed. "I was just waiting for you." Damian paused to yawn then went to lay on his side to face Felix. His eyelids were getting heavier. The effort to keep them open was slowly slipping away. Nevertheless he asked, "Are you alright?"
Felix studies Damian carefully, sliding off the bed while he pulls down the sheets. It's slow, a domestic sort of action that Felix never knew could be so warming. He looks to the pillows, the one of Damian's side of the bed noticeably flatter than the one on the empty side. It's certainly not Felix's side, and it hasn't been Areum's side for half a decade. The empty side. "I'm just fine, doll. I am with you after all." He gives his cheesiest wink as he settles into Damian's bed in Damian's house while wearing Damian's clothes.
The pillow is soft, the mattress unlike his at home, and the sheets a little less soft than he was expecting. And it's all perfect. Felix settles in, shifting to make himself comfortable. Finally, he looks to Damian, their noses just a few inches apart. "Go to sleep," he says in his gentlest tone. "I'll probably still be here in the morning."
His eyes never wandered off of Felix. It may have gotten difficult for him to keep them opened, yet they remained still. The tips of his fingers laid against the mattress, feeling the dip near where Felix laid. He hadn't felt such a thing for almost five years now. Damian hadn't had the chance to look over and see someone laying next to him. And he had gotten so used to it too.
A hum resonated from his throat. Just like his kids, he didn't want to go to sleep, yet it was obvious that he would be very soon. For awhile he watched as the back of his hand caressed the side of Felix's face. Feeling the texture of skin, taking in the little details, he repeated it a couple of times. His thumb brushed Felix's cheek for a bit before he sat his hand beside him. Eventually Damian did give in to the imaginary battle of sleep. He let his eyes close as his breathing slowed down.
