forum “Just because I’m the God of Humor doesn’t mean this is funny.” ((O/O RP)) ((CLOSED))

Started February 09, 2020 by @PaperHats business

tune

Salutations. I’m Yūmoagami. Less formally known as Yūmoa. I’m the God of Humor, Potential, Good Spirits, and Charm.
In short, I’m basically a stand-up comedian. *finger guns *
Lost soul, do you long for a home? A place for rest. You couldn’t find your way to the afterlife— but you couldn’t stay alive.
I’m sorry for you, lost soul. Sucks to suck ;)
Just kidding. I’ll offer you peace. So, how about you join me? I’ll offer you a name again. A form again. A life you never got to live— you can live it alongside me.
So, why don’t you join me, lost soul?

THIS STORY TAKES PLACE in an ancient world, where gods still walk the earth right next to humans. When someone dies, their soul has potential to become a god’s associate— essentially helping the god complete whatever prayers in exchange for an elongated life. Gods go to recruit spirits— lowly gods normally not getting the best ones, if any.
You’ve died. Unfortunately, the only god who noticed was a lowly god with, like, 3 worshipers… Yūmoa. God of Humor and Charm.
Great.

RULES:

• Probably keep it pg13 on the questionable topics but if you need to go R rated just run it past me.
• If you don’t like humor or playful insults then this probably isn’t the best rp for you.
• Please have at least ok grammar. I get that sometimes people don’t— heck, I don’t most of the time— but please try.
• Please have a sense of humor. Or sarcasm. This is supposed to be mainly a comedy rp, so please don’t be dull. Give your character a pErSoNaLiTy.
• Please respond with actual content, I don’t want to have to keep the story going myself. Have your character act more than react.

Character Template

Name:
Gender:
Age:
Appearance:
Personality:
Backstory (How did you die?):
Alignment:

My Character:

Name: Yūmoagami / ユーモアの神
Gender: Female
Age: uh… 13.760 billion years. Mental capacity of a 18 year old. (She’s much younger than most gods)
Appearance: Shoulder length light brown hair with gold intertwined. Her eyes are a sharp blue that have flashes of orange within. She stands at about 5’11” and wears baggy clothes. She doesn’t have a specific style, however she always has a mask on the side of her head. The eyes of the mask are always spiraling and it is contorted in an almost creepy grin. Yūmoa’s form is skinnier, and she’s extremely lithe and agile.
Personality: As the God of Humor, you can just guess. Yūmoa’s extremely sarcastic, witty, and sometimes intelligently stupid. She possesses little to no common sense and doesn’t care what anyone thinks about her— except maybe higher gods.
Backstory: Since she could remember, she’s been helping people with tasks, ranging from empire subterfuge trickery to giving good luck to someone to be charming on a date. Since there’s no room for extreme trickery and discerning humor to essentially build nations anymore, no one really needs her. So, now, she takes work where she can get it.
Alignment: Chaotic Neutral

Name: Aeneas Aetós

Gender: Male

Age: Was 19 when he died

Appearance: He has medium length light brown hair that he slicks back every morning with gel, but it will often begin to come undone by the end of the day and falls over his face. His skin is naturally tan, even during the winter. His jawline is almost always dusted with a thin covering of hair, despite the fact he shaves every morning. He's around 6 foot, but probably on the shorter side.

Personality: He is a joker by nature, even in situations where his life is in danger. He's most comfortable when smiling and often is seen with an alcoholic beverage in hand. Lazy by nature, he's a laid back but pessimistic guy who always sees the glass half empty instead of half full. He has a bit of a potty mouth, but knows when to install the filter when the situation requires it. A wild one when drunk (which is often), he has a tendency to break things when alcohol begins flowing into his system.

Backstory (How did you die?): He was drinking way too much one night and ended up crossing paths with a soldier and their ugly wife. After says something along the lines of "Godsdamn, she's ugly," he had his skull fractures, three of his ribs broken, and his throat slit. His last words were "This is still better than being married to that pig."

Alignment: Chaotic Good

“Who does Oshieru think he is?” she growled to herself, walking through the ghost town. Pun intended, it was actually a cemetery. This is what she called “recruiting.”
“Yūmoa, do this,” she taunted, quoting what the God of Teaching had yelled at her days prior. “Get it together, Yūmoa. You need an arsenal. Go gEt a lOsT soUl aNd StarT tAkinG yOur job seriOuSlY, blah blah..”
Yūmoa glared over at a gravestone, with Oshieru’s symbol floating just above it. Actually, that’s what many of these shrines looked like. They each had a symbol over them, showing what god they had been pledged to in the afterlife. They were all colors, all symbols. Though, Yūmoa’s color— blue— was no where to be found. No one had wanted to join her yet.
Their loss.
The humor god wandered throughout the yard, trying to find any soul at all. She was about to give up right as a certain stone caught her eye. It only had a name: “Aeneas Aetós”
Yūmoa raised an eyebrow, smiling. “This’ll show you, Oshieru.”
The god bent down and left her finger trailing just above the stone. In it, she drew her symbols:
笑い — Meaning “laughter.”
“Hopefully he decides to join me,” she said with a smile.

_{(If he does, his soul should appear in a human form just outside of his grave and then you can enter or something. Only if you want, or you could bs it and be however creative you would like)}

"_{Thheeeeeee fuck is} this shit?!"

A graceful entrance, as to be expected from Aeneas. One moment, he was burning in the depths of the Underworld for the various sins that he commuted while he was living, ("Hey, do you come here often?" he said to the God of Death, who promptly tossed him into a burning pit full of damned souls) then the next, he was standing in a cemetery, his singed hair still trailing thin tendrils of smoke into the night sky. The front of his tunic was still stained with the blood that spewed from his neck barely a week ago but the remnants of the wound were nowhere to be found.

"Well…..damn." Aeneas shoot the soot out of his hair and looked around, seeming way more unconcerned than the rest of the recruits she revived. "Nice to be up here again, although Dis Pater (random name for the god of Death I found on the internet) is a very charming fellow." His eyes finally turned to Yūmoagami. "Who the fuck are you?"

Yūmoa turned, smiling widely. She was propped up on the man’s gravestone, sitting there with her elbows resting on her knees and her head in her hands.
“Well hello,” she said. “You seem cool.”
She hopped down, bushing past him so she could stand directly in front.
“I’m Yūmoagami, harbinger of laughter, tricks, and humor,” she said, bowing with arms outspread. “And, I’m your savior.”
She lifted her hand, drawing her symbol of laughter in the sky. The symbol quickly darted to the man, emblazoning itself on the side of his neck in a blue, glowing manor.
“Pleasure to have you aboard the Yūmoa train,” she said with a laugh. “Woot woot.”
The god tilted her head with a smile, trying to stand up as straight and proud as she could.

"My mom's gonna kill me when she finds out I got a tattoo. Just kidding, she's dead." He rubbed the side of his neck, the spell sending a chill down his spine. Did he have a spine? He was dead, wasn't he? Was he still a spirit, or was he reborn? Well, the crabby grass underneath his feet were prodding against the bottom of his feet, so maybe he was alive again. "So…..what does this mean, exactly? I didn't pay much attention when my parents gave me the whole 'Here are the people you worship' talk, so this is all pretty new to me. Am I your pet? A slave? A new god? That would be pretty badass."

“None,” she said, matter-of-factly. “Although a slave would be pretty usefu— ANYWAY, you’re my associate now. Basically you help me fulfill the many… many requests I get from mortals.”
She gave him a cheerful wink. “Oh. Yeah. And you’re immortal now.”
Before he could reply, Yūmoa continued.
“I also get to give you a new name,” she said. “So… as my associate, you will be called… Itazura. Just so you don’t get your mortal life mixed up with your spirit life. But I can call you Aeneas if you prefer.”

"….Nah, call me "It". I feel like it reflects my personality well." Everyone always talked about how beautiful the gods were in person, but Itazura Or was he Aeneas? This shit was weird stayed so far away from anything considered holy that he never got to see one. But…..damn. She was hot. Great. First day on the job and he already had a crush on his boss. Fuck. And he also had zero shot with her, since she was a fucking Goddess. Double fuck. "Anyways, what are my jobs as an assistant for the Goddess of Laughter? Go tickle people? Whisper jokes into ears?"

“Okay that sounds fun,” she said, her eyes flitting around. “But no.”
She squinted, lifting up her arms and stretching, letting out a small groan as she did it. She had never actually… had an associate. Honestly, she didn’t know what to do.
Nevertheless, she acted like she did.
“We normally wait to be worshipped, then go and help out whomever,” she explained. “When I’m not beckoned, I normally just walk around a play pranks on people.”
Yūmoa’s eyes wandered back to the man.
“Sound good? I mean, if you have any ideas, let em fly.”

(Gonna bold his name, since it is a common word to use)

Pranks. Yes, yes, yes, and yes. Just an hour ago, It thought he would be burning in a pit with about 20 other souls for the rest of eternity. And even though he would try to make it as fun as possible, it was hard to find humor in that type of situation, no matter how dumb your humor was. But in 5 minutes, it switched from eternal punishment to hanging out with a hot chick and fucking around with people.

"I would, in fact, like to play a prank on someone," It said, rubbing his hands together mischievously. "A person I know quite intimately, since he killed me in a very gruesome manner."

(We can also use the name you made. I don’t wanna make it seem like I just pushed that aside. But I also think it’s hilarious to just be It)

Yūmoa raised an eyebrow. “Hun. I’m the God of Humor, not Death nor Revenge. I don’t kill… well, not on purpose, but we don’t talk about that.”
She turned around, beginning to walk from the cemetery. She couldn’t wait to see Oshieru’s face once she showed up with an actual associate. She was absolutely giddy.
Recently, she had been camping out at the God of Teaching’s shrine, considering she didn’t have one of her own. Oshieru was like a geeky older brother to her that was way too pushy.
“So, we can’t kill him,” she continued. “But, we can totally prank him in a… non-personal way.”

(I like the name you made way better, so let's roll with It)

"I wasn't talking about killing him," he said, even thought me most definitely was. It liked the way it sounded when she called him "hun." Made him feel like the thimble of charm he had was actually getting through. "Living with his ugly ass wife is punishment enough for what he did to me. What I wanted to do was, like, loosen a wheel on his wagon or let his donkey run free. Little things that would piss him off without actually harming him physically." Although being able to just jab a knife into him would make this a lot more simple.

“See, I chose you for a reason,” Yūmoa yipped, knowing full-well she hadn’t actually had a choice. It was either him or some 100 year old dead corpse on the side of the road who had the soul of an absolute moron.
She lead him through the dark alleys of the small town, soon coming to a somewhat elegant shrine.
“Welcome to your new house,” she said with a smile, turning around on the steps before him and spreading her arms. She knew it wasn’t actually theirs, but he didn’t have to know she was most definitely squatting.
“So,” she began. “Who is this person you know of?”

The question didn't actually process for a good 30 seconds. He was too busy studying the shrine. There was more gold in this one spot then he'd ever seen in his life and he wasn't sure how to feel about it. It was freshly polished, so the fire glinted off of it like a mirror.

"He's a soldier named Basil Barak," It said as soon as the question made it from his ears to his brain. "He lives on the outskirts of town on a pig farm. He doesn't own it, just works there. I think it's also the place he found his wife, but that's besides the point."

Yūmoa let out a small snicker of sorts, but was soon interrupted by the shuffling of feet aproaching the two. Yūmoa spun around, a wide sheepish smile on her face.
“Hey… Oshieru…,” she mumbled, slightly embarrassed.
A tall man appeared from the shadows, a giant sword by his side and a scribe block in his hand. His hair was long, tied back behind him and a pitch black. His featured were angular yet elegant, and his robe held royal gold highlights. Now this was a god. Next to him, in her stupid baggy clothes that looked like she had found them in a lost & found, Yūmoa looked like a peasant.
Though, he raised an eyebrow, his piercing gaze flicking to Itazura.
Yūmoa recomposed herself, letting out a joyful giggle and putting an arm around the shoulder’s of It.
“Ey, Oshi, meet my new associate,” she said, infinently more confident now. “Itazura. Pretty cool, huh?”
The man sighed deeply, closing his eyes for a moment. “Congratulations.”
His deep voice resonated through the temple, yet Yūmoa kept up her grin.
“However, when I said associate, I didn’t mean a previous criminal,” he said, acting as if It wasn’t even there. “Either way, it does not matter. You’re here now. Headmaster told me to go find you. We’re having a council meeting.”
“Why?” Yūmoa asked snarkily, clearly disappointed.
“See for yourself,” he replied. And just like that, he vanished into the night.
Yūmoa looked extremely unimpressed as she leaned the majority of her weight on It. She glanced up at him, beginning to laugh a little bit.
“First day on the job and you get to go meet gods, eh? What a night— er— couple minutes.”

"'I didn't mean a previous criminal,'" It mocked, doing a surprisingly good impression of Oshieru. "It was one person, and they literally told me 'Stab me, you aren't brave enough.'" He paused for a moment, then mumbled under his breath, " _{I was brave enough….}"

He took a couple of steps back as a large, rainbow-lined portal opened up in front of the two of them. From what he could see, the inside was….bland. Boring yellow grass, a dirt path leading up a hill that was cut off by the top of the portal, and a couple of figures milling about in the foliage.

"I expected something a lot more……extravagant," It admitted, tilting his head at the sight before him. "And is this your doing, or some other fucker that's been watching over us this whole time?"

Yūmoa stared blankly at the portal, pursing her lips. She took her arm from around It’s shoulders and walked forward, peaking in slightly. She glanced back at him and nudged her head forward.
“Dunno, but it leads to the council,” she mumbled. “It’s a building at the top of the hill. Those people aren’t gods, by the way. Those are other associates.”
Her gaze drifted to the colorful outline of the portal. “Think Oshieru gave this. He probably thinks I can’t teleport myself. Stupid.”
Quickly, Yūmoa slid her fingers in a ring in the air, small sparks issuing forth from the tips. She made a vague portal that looked too small to fit through, and looked as though it lead to a completely different location.
“Okay, yeah, we’re using this one,” she said, defeated. The god slid through, smiling at It as she passed, grabbing his hand, and yanking him in after her. The portal closed swiftly behind them, leaving more of the same scenery in its stead.

It blinked a couple of times at the sudden change of climate. In this new place, it was cool an even, exactly 70 degrees with a breeze whenever it began to get too hot. Almost like it was controlled by a god. Probably was. This would take some getting used to.

"Wait, will I be able to learn that shit?" he asked, gesturing back at where the portal was. "Whole bunch of magic shit? If so, that would be fucking sick. Won't ever have to walk again. Oh, need to go to get to the tavern? Boop, straight into a booth. Scare the shit outta ever drunk fucker in the place."

His ramblings kept going as they walked up the dirt path, the musings of the powers of teleportation getting more and more ridiculous the farther they got up the hill.

"So, are they all, like, the size of normal people, or are the gods the size of mountains and shit, like in the stories we're told as kids?" The question sounded stupid coming out of It's mouth, but it needed an answer.