"Oh, okay," Sasha responded, "I feel ya on the forever alone part. It's okay though, cause I've taught Naga to tell me that he loves me. I've also… taught him how to curse like a sailor on accident," he said, face going a little red at the last part. "When we get inside, don't be surprised if he's making kissing noises or yelling 'get your ass in here'. Also, if we're unlucky, my entire family will be up playing Mario Kart. Just a bit of a warning in case you'd like to run rather than enter the fortress of doom."
Eugene giggled. "Well, at least you have a pet, especially one that can talk. My dad is against pets of any kind. He'd rather sell the house and everything inside it than have even a goldfish. That's one of the many reasons I got koi fish tats, and they're pretty visible too." He glanced over at Sasha, a bright smile on his face. "But why would your family be playing Mario Kart this late? My parents are probably asleep and my sister… who knows what she does."
Sasha sighed dramatically. "My family is a bunch of loons. Knowing my mother she probably roped my father into making a full-course meal so they can interrogate me about what happened at the party while we eat. The interrogation could stretch into the early morning, maybe even the next day," he said, a smile on his face as he imagined what food he might be welcomed home with.
Eugene couldn't keep a smile off his face. "Maybe I shouldn't come in then. That might complicate things more than they need to be." He said while turning onto a street. "This is the right road, right?" He asked, glancing over once again.
"This is the road but like," Sasha turned to Eugene, making his best puppy-dog eyes, "You've got to come in to see Naga. He's adorable. Very adorable. He'll sit on your shoulder, maybe even nuzzle your arm. It's worth the hassle my parents provide, I swear," he finished, his foot visibly bouncing as his house came closer and closer.
Oh fuck. That was adorable. Eugene had thought, opting for keeping his eyes on the road. "Well, you've convinced me. If you say it's worth it, I guess I'd better come inside." He said, smiling. Slowing down the car to make sure he didn't miss the house, he realized, he didn't actually know which house was Sasha's. "Hey, which one of these is your's?"
"The dark blue one, with the wooden porch swing," Sasha said, pointing in the direction of his house as well. The lights inside were on, and sure enough, his family could be seen playing Mario Kart through the front window. "Please don't respond when my family asks astonishingly invasive questions to try and scare you off, just head straight for the birdcage and they'll stop."
"Ah why? That's rude and I ain't about that life." Eugene giggled and soon pulled into the driveway of Sasha's house. He honestly loved the sound of Sasha's family. He almost got the feeling that they would have been the 'cool' family in elementary school and everyone would want to go to Sasha's house to hang out.
Sasha was quick to unbuckle and get out of the card, making sure to smooth out his clothes before approaching the front door. Right as his hand went to grasp the knob on the front door, Sasha spun around to face Eugene.
"One more warning; my sister is delusional and thinks every male on the planet would like to date her. She may flirt, but she may also flat-out ignore or hate you," he said in a slightly-hushed tone. "Just… don't say anything about her appearance no matter how much she presses you about it."
Eugene unbuckled and locked the car. He followed behind Sasha and was surprised at the other's sudden warning. He just nodded with, at this point, a smile stuck on his face. This had definitely been a turn in events. He had expected to stay in a corner all night then help clean up and give the people, unable to drive, rides. But this was definitely better.
The second Alexander opened the door it was like all hell had broken loose-his family started shouting for him, a dog ran to the entry hall and started barking, and Naga the cockatiel could be heard screaming 'Sasha'.
"Goddamnit. Get back, Laika, back!" Sasha yelled, trying to push past the dog who was clearly excited by Eugene's presence. Once Laika tailed back into the living room, a new obstacle appeared- his younger sister. Her eyes instantly went to look Eugene up and down before she let out a low whistle.
"Kristen. You're literally 13. Stop it. He could be rabid for all you know. He could punch you in the face and run to never be seen again," Sasha said, quickly turning to give Eugene an apologetic look. "He's here to see Naga, not you."
Eugene blinked, already a little overwhelmed. He petted the dog, kneeling down a little. Hearing Sasha's hypothetical description of him he giggled. "Rawr. Fear me, child." He said in a sarcastic, yet nonchalant voice. Of course, being him he wasn't able to stop himself from another little laugh as well as a smile from appearing on his lips. He stood up all the way and put his focus back on Sasha and Kristen.
"I'm marrying him when I'm old enough providing he likes girls. Just you wait, Sasha," Kirsten said, a venomous smile on her face as she melted away into the kitchen- presumeable
"Yeah, you do that, champ," he said, now guiding Eugene to the living room where (sadly) both his parents and Naga were. They both turned to look at Eugene, but said nothing, rather nodding at each other and then turning their attention back to Mario Kart.
"Uh, mom, dad? Say hi to Eugene? Please? That was weird. Like, really weird," Sasha said, chuckling nervously as he finished his sentence.
Eugene stayed quiet as Kirsten left and they went to the living room. He got a glimpse of Naga but was focused on Sasha's parents. He really didn't know what to do or say. He didn't want to appear rude by ignoring them but he didn't want to seem annoying by interrupting their game and talking. Then he realized he was thinking all of this and questioned himself even more. Why did he care so much about what Sasha's parents thought of him? He only met the guy less than an hour before, so he shouldn't be so worried about impressions.
"Hi, Eugene," the two said before Sasha's mother started bombarding the poor boy with questions. "How old are you? Where'd you meet Sasha? Are you drunk? What are your intentions with our son?"
Sasha sighed very loudly as he fidgeted with Naga's cage, eager to show off the bird and get Eugene out as soon as possible so he wouldn't have to put up with his parents.
"Ma, chill with the questions, would you? He's chill," Sasha yelled over his mother whilst trying to coax Naga from his cage.
Eugene somehow saw the moment right before the bombardment of questions in a sort of slow motion. It was like how he felt before an especially powerful spike in volleyball. The second he heard a pause in Sasha's mother's question, he softly answered them. Unlike normally answering questions about himself, he kept them short and to the point. "17. The party. Nope, hopefully never will be. I don't know, I saved him from dying under a sink and he didn't have a ride home." It was like he was answering a survey instead of a parent's questions.
Eugene took a breath before looking at Sasha's mother again. "Sorry if that was curt or anything. I normally somehow end up telling my life story if I go too in-depth. Also, hello, It's nice to meet you two." He finished off with a smile.
Sasha's father went to ask his own questions but Sasha's mother slapped his arm before he could speak. "It's nice to meet you as well, dear," she then turned her newly stony gaze to Sasha. "What happened to Kyle, hm? I always knew that boy was no good as a friend."
Sasha pulled back from the birdcage, Naga perched on his fingers. "He was nowhere to be seen. Presumably getting some STDs. I wish you could've seen the others there playing Spin the Bottle, mom. It was like watching a circle of whores-pardon my language-go at it. Their tongues were practically down to each other's windpipes no matter who someone landed on," Sasha said, crinkling his nose in the last part. He moved towards Eugene until he was close enough that Naga was starting to become vocal. It was then that he stopped moving towards Eugene in order to reassure the bird that nothing weird was going on.
Eugene gagged ever so quietly. "Oh my god it was disgusting. I always ask myself why I even bother going to parties, it's not like I do anything there. I participate just about as much as a broken chair does." He said before turning his attention to Sasha and Naga. The bird was adorable, well worth the craziness that came before. "Can I…?" He asked, referring to the bird while glancing at Sasha.
"Uh, yeah," Sasha said, "Don't hold him close to your face, though. You're a stranger so I can't promise that he'll be docile."
Sasha pulled Eugene's hand up and moved two of his fingers out so he could properly hold Naga. As he handed the bird over, he made on more note. "If I were you, I'd hold him mid-chest at the highest."
Subconsciously, Eugene held his breath. Taking all of Sasha's words into consideration, he kept his hand just above stomach level. A bright smile was on his lips as he got a better look at Naga. "Oh man, thank you for inviting me inside to see Naga… he's amazing…" He said quietly, enthralled by the bird.
"He's stupid," Sasha remarked, Naga quickly turning his head to face Sasha before letting out a squawk of 'bitch'. Sasha looked stunned for a second, then remembered where Naga had learned that from. "Ignore him, he just learned that from Kristen calling me stupid and me always having a highly intellectual response."
Sasha proceeded to make kisses noises as Naga, which the bird eagerly returned.
"Ah yes, highly intellectual." Eugene giggled and watched the bird copy Sasha. It would definitely be cool to have a bird, although, with his upbringing, he'd probably be completely inadequate to have a pet with much more maintenance than a fish.
"You two do realize how late it is, right?" Kristen asked, waltzing into the living room with a plate of cookies, "Your friend should go home, Sasha. Mom and dad are waiting to grill you about the party, and I don't think he wants to hear them asking you about… personal party happenings."
She turned to face Eugene. "Y'know, they once asked him if he and Kyle were-"
Sasha quickly cut Kristen off, not yet trusting Eugene enough to hear the next bit. "FRIENDS! GOOD FRIENDS. VERY GOOD FRIENDS. BEST FRIENDS. THAT'S ENOUGH, KRISTEN. I BANISH THEE BACK TO THY KITCHEN," he yelled, quickly lowering his voice, "But not in a sexist way or anything."
"Anyways," Sasha said, this time his attention on Eugene, "You probably should leave. After giving me my bird back, of course. I'd hunt you down if you left with Naga."
For reasons unknown to Eugene, his heart dropped at the talk of him leaving. But, it was probably for the better, at least that's what he told himself. It had been a while since he had made a friend, especially this quickly. He hadn't been fully aware of Sasha's sister and the coversationshe had started. But he just smiled.
With one last fond look at Naga, he outstretched his arm to give the bird back to Sasha. "You'd never find me, no matter how much you looked. But I save you the pain of trying to find me." Eugene joked with a smile.
"Mmm, good to know," Sasha said, taking Naga back into his own hand and moving to return the bird to his cage. "Nice knowin' ya, I guess. See you at school? Assuming you aren't a frequent skipper, that is."
Sasha latched Naga's cage after easing the bird back into it, then turned to face Eugene. "Shall I escort thy to the door?" he asked, giving a dramatic bow.
