@lord-of-the-carnival group
(hmmmm. . . wb "Ferro," the Galician word for "Iron?")
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Halp- boredom sucks- (Open OxO)
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@lord-of-the-carnival
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@RhysTheFirebird group
(Fer, its Iron in French, also, keep in mind, is ANY metal, not just iron)
@lord-of-the-carnival group
(Fer. . . that'll work lol; and i know- but like- it's a metal-related name)
@RhysTheFirebird group
(Yeah, (I still think he’d prefer to use his given name, lol)
@lord-of-the-carnival group
(possibly- its whatever you want tho-)
@RhysTheFirebird group
(Dust, I’ll go with Dust)
@lord-of-the-carnival group
(alright!)
@lord-of-the-carnival group
Renata stood above the hero on her craggy mountain of concrete, staring at him.
Her old friend.
Her new enemy.
The one she knew they'd sent after her because of who he was.
"Dust." she says quietly. "You know it's useless. You could never beat me."
She looked. . . sad. But more determined than anything.
Determined to win. Determined to change things. Determined to survive.
"And if you try, you'll hurt yourself." she adds.
@RhysTheFirebird group
(I need more story behind this, I am vastly confused as to what’s happening right now)
@lord-of-the-carnival group
(at the beggining [in the description] i do say they used to be friends- but could you specify what exactly you mean by "story?")
@RhysTheFirebird group
(How did they get to where they are right now in the story? What were they doing leading up to this point int time? You don’t give very many dentals as to what they were doing before this, who ‘they’ is that sent Dustin? What was Renata doing BEFORE she saw Dustin- and what is going on between them right now? (And if it’s in your character sheet, I’ll try to read it, but I’m spacing out a lot rn))
@lord-of-the-carnival group
(they- met during one of Renata's terraforming jobs, hence the pillar of concrete? Dust had just gotten word of Renata's appearance in a nearby construction zone and the begginings of her self-given job- ill say who "they" are in the story soon- as for what they're about to do, think about it- the hero is where the villain is, what usually happens then?)
@RhysTheFirebird group
(That gives me more questions. Terraforming? Why is she in a construction site? What is her self given job?)
(I’m sorry for all the questions, but as I cant fins a backstory on your template, and your post has none of the details of a back story, there are details I need to know so I can write my response acordingly)
@lord-of-the-carnival group
(Motivations (Optional): "Her motivations are to tear down everythig that's wrong with every government's political structure and rebuild it in a way that truly benefits all." like- dude- there it is, that's basically her self-given job- the construction site is a step to get there, since it's the site of a parking garage project- plus you dont even have a backstory on your template so-?)
@RhysTheFirebird group
(Yeah, because, if you read my non-one liner RP’s, I provide back story to the first few posts. And I’m sorry if I’m coming off a little rude or something. I don’t mean to at all, I am just incredibly confused as to what I’m supposed to do.)
(I also don’t know this world at all, the social structures and the like, making it difficult for me to come up with an appropriate back story for him.)
@lord-of-the-carnival group
(look, im just going to redo the entire post, alright?)
(it's literally just modern day but superpowered; does that clear something up?)
@RhysTheFirebird group
(Yup. I’ll add backstory now.)
(I’m sorry if I’m being difficult- I don’t mean to upset you-)
@lord-of-the-carnival group
(its whatever- im used to having to explain things a lot; keep forgetting people aren't me and they can't possibly know what I have in mind.)
@RhysTheFirebird group
(It’s fine)
@RhysTheFirebird group
Dustin crosses his arms, looking up at Renata. He’d met her a couple years ago and they’d become friends. Then she’d started to tear down government buildings. He didn’t agree with what she was doing, but he agreed with her end goal. A new government, but for now. . . He had to stop her.
“I can always try though, can’t I?”
@lord-of-the-carnival group
(oh- we're just going with the original thing-?)
@RhysTheFirebird group
(Yeah- ig)
@lord-of-the-carnival group
(i was working on the new one, since the original wasn't quite detailed enough- ig we can work with it tho, now that you have the info?)
@RhysTheFirebird group
(Yup, we can)
@lord-of-the-carnival group
Renata smiles sadly, looking down at Dustin.
"You can," she starts quietly as the earth starts to liquefy beneath Dustin, turning into quicksand.
She lowers her collumn of concrete as well, to be more even with her old friend, now turned rival.
"But that doesn't mean you should." she finishes.