forum boarding school dark academia murder mystery queer love triangle rp (closed, but feel free to stalk <3)

Started April 13, 2020 by @darling-velocipede group

tune

Luckily, the library wasn’t too far from the coffee shop. The three of them chattered about the mystery while they walked there, in the same order they always walked. Something about it was equally comforting and saddening to Kate, as she thought of how soon they would go their separate ways.

Soon enough, the three of them reached the library. It was a nice place, a gust of cool air hitting them as soon as Zephyr opened the door. The three of them filed into the library, the space feeling practically cavernous compared to the simple coffee shop.

“What section do you think the murder might be under?” Leon asked, scanning the bookshelves and chairs in the library. Against the left wall, there was a small row of old library computers. The right wall held bathrooms and a staircase to the second and third floors. If they were looking for a book, they might be looking a while.

“We could try the old library computers,” Kate suggested, glancing over at them. They worked, certainly, but they looked like they hadn’t been replaced since 2008.

“There’s some sort of document area,” Zephyr added. They’d been to this library multiple times, but had never had to find specific documents or files. The one would probably know the most was Zephyr.

“What should we start with then?” Leon asked diplomatically. “Books, computers, or documents?” Kate wondered if they wouldn’t end up looking for all three anyway.

Within a few hours of searching it had become clear to Zephyr that, a, Kate was insufferably impatient and accordingly bad at combing the extensive archives of Thomas-Thyme Library, b, Zephyr himself was becoming impatient and growing poorer at keeping his focus on the endless sheets of laminated newspaper replications he was combing, and c, Kate was being too loudly beautiful for him to think. It was easy to say which of the three irritated him the most. The way his eyes seemed to find their way to wherever she sat, glowing in an angelic gold light from the high, dusty windows of the old Grecian building, hair falling in front of her eyes until she pushed it back with long, thin fingers. And of course the godforsaken freckles on her shoulders. He'd tried so hard to reason these feelings away– it's simply an aesthetic appreciation. He'd recited those words like a spell crafted to protect him. He'd recited those words until they lost their meaning and dissolved to sounds and syllables. He'd tried to fight the feelings away, tamp them down with bricks, harsh words, and two glasses of wine too many alone in his dorm at 3 am. She's nothing, he'd scrawled in his journal on one such night. A petty, horny crush on my part. An idiot. She's crass and rude and foolish, bold in the wrong ways. He called her things he'd never admit in those pages; a bitch and a whore. His handwriting fell into illegibility after that and he found himself unable to decipher a word the next morning. But at the bottom of the page was the most marred. i love her he'd scrawled. Three tiny, pitiful words. He ripped the pages out and burned them in the steel kitchen sink. Ashes clogged the drain.

When he found blurred images of that very night returning to his mind he threw his pen down on the table among the scattered stacks of useless papers he'd been studying and stalked across the room to Leon who was reading in a corner, elbow propped on her backpack as she read a police report of the night.
"Have you found anything?" Carefully marking her place in the text with her index finger, she looked up at him.
"Not much you didn't already tell us, but there is one unusual detail– the handle of the dagger had no fingerprints, his or otherwise. It was so perfectly sanitized, in fact, that whatever combination of chemicals did it had begun to eat into the metal by the time they found him. Much stronger than any industrial cleaner. Much higher PH than any one could buy, because it'll burn right through skin if you so much as brush by it. Only chemists and the like can legally get any."
"No fingerprints at all? That's unbelievable."
"Well, was he a chemistry teacher?" Kate had appeared beside him, leaning over to see Leon's work. Zephyr jumped at her sudden presence, the skim of her warm skin against his arm, and bit his tongue to stop himself from saying something stupid.
"No, he was a classics professor– he taught Roman and Greek history and Latin language. But you might be onto something," he offered instead.
"So we think another chemistry teacher killed him? Think he had a torrid love affair with the chemist's wife or some shit?" She laughed. "How can you be taking this so seriously? This is a case from ages ago, guys. We're not going to find anything out. But since you both seem so content to play Nancy Drew for a day, I've found something. His apartment number, in the teacher's housing. The building is still there, and the room hasn't been remodeled I'm sure. You know how this school is for their vintage architecture." She rolled her eyes. Kate had always been openly mocking of their stuffy private school, maybe because this had been her dad's first pick for her, and to say they got along would be a vast understatement. "Anyway, the person who lived there for a time moved out a month ago. It's empty now."
"So you're suggesting we break in and look around?" Leon looked far too thoughtful, like she was considering Kate's batshit idea.
"Yes."
"This is ridiculous! You just said it yourself, Kate. It's a waste of time. When I proposed it, I thought you guys understood I meant research. Here. And maybe going to the bridge where they found the body." Zephyr couldn't believe what he was hearing.
"I never said it was a waste of time," Kate responded coolly as she studied him. "Stop putting words in my mouth. I suppose you only do it because you have something else you'd rather put in my mouth, though" She supplemented the comment with a rather pointed gaze downward, smirking, if he didn't already catch her meaning. Zephyr's stomach dropped, but Leon just laughed, albeit a bit nervously, glancing at him with a sheen of apology in her eyes. This wasn't the first sexual innuendo she'd tossed in front of them, and neither was a stranger to dick jokes, but Zephyr wasn't often on the receiving end.
"Oh please," Kate followed when they'd sat in a tentative silence for a moment too long. "It was a joke. You two are such grandmas. Now are we going or not?" Leon took the arm Kate extended to her, pulling herself to her feet as she smiled gamely.
"Come on, Zephyr," Leon's tone was light, matching her expression. "Let's do a little breaking-and-entering, Scooby-Doo style."
Zephyr sighed as he followed them, head buzzing with contradicting images– the burned pages of his journal and Kate's grin, her dirty jokes and the way Leon caught her eye, the dead professor.
If she said that, does that mean she's thought about sex with me? Just passively, of course, but like- FUCKING SHUT UP. His stream of consciousness was abruptly cut off and he internally kicked himself. As he weaved through the maze of towering shelves to the exit, he could have sworn some of the marble busts that topped them were judging him too.

Leon let go of Kate’s arm a little too late, the feeling lingering a bit too long. Though she pushed down the butterflies fluttering in her stomach. A somewhat violent image flashed through her mind of holding one of the butterflies at gunpoint, threatening to pull the trigger if they didn’t freaking stop. She had never been one to have violent intentions— she normally left that to Kate and Zephyr— but when it came to imbecilic notions, she definitely had other plans.
Still, her face ceased to show any kind of discomfort, awkwardness, or otherwise. She had gotten too good at it, by everyone else’s standards. By her own, she just enjoyed the fact that her heart was too far down her sleeve for her mind to ever hear.
She passed the two of them a somewhat playful smile as they exited the Thomas-Thyme Library. As she stood in the middle of Zeph and Kate, she put her elbows up onto their shoulders. Being taller than Zephyr it was easy, however as the same height as Kate, her arm was decently balanced. It was a little hard to keep in place as they walked, but she tried her best.
“What’s with you today, Lee?” Kate asked somewhat insultingly, her voice biting.
“Don’t know,” Leon replied, unwaveringly letting out another smile. “Felt daring today.”
Zephyr ran his fingers through his hair, dropping his hand limply afterward. His heavy overcoat ceased to hinder his actions, although the thick cloth would seem like it to any other. Though with these sorts of sophisticated clothes, the boy was a natural.
“Have you been listening to…,” he paused, squinting. “… Journey? Is that what that band’s called?”
Leon nodded affirmatively. “Their Escape album. The best one, in my opinion. Besides the Greatest Hits album.”
“Isn’t that cheating?” Kate muttered, glancing over. Leon almost bit her tongue, meeting the girl’s bright green eyes.
Again, shaking the uneasiness aside, she replied. “Of course not. If it’s a part of their official discography, anything’s game.”
“I knew it,” Zephyr mumbled. “They always get you… ‘amped,’ so to speak.”
Lee looked over, meeting his eyes as well. As her stomach churned with those stupid butterflies, she had to resist the urge to drop to the floor and scream.
One beautiful person on either side. This was a little bit of Heaven and Hell, all at the same time. And, frankly, Leon didn’t know if she could handle it. Even if she could, she figured it wouldn't go well by any stretch.
Feeling her face flush, she averted her gaze to the ground. It was hardly noticeable, not passing over the thick and peaceful mask she kept plastered on her face.
It was impossible for her to even consider the possibilities. The whole “what if he/she likes me back?” was completely foreign. Leon never even entertained the thought— nor ones even remotely relating to it.
Shaking her head, she looked back up to the sky.
“Even so, I’m in a good mood today regardless,” she said smoothly. Her words loosely rolled from her tongue, like they were perfectly rehearsed— as many of her words sounded.
“Uh, alright.” Kate raised an eyebrow, but let the subject drop. “Anyway, Zeph, what’s the deal? If you didn’t want to investigate this guy— y’know, the whole breaking and entering deal— why did you pose the idea in the first place?”
“Like I said, I just thought it was interesting,” he explained somewhat nervously. “And now with a little more information—,”
“Now with a little more information,” Kate repeated a slight bit louder, cutting him off. “We can break in and know what we’re looking for. So, let’s get crackin,’ hmm?”
Leon smiled yet again. “Yes, ma’am.”
Zephyr shook his head, closing his eyes. After running his fingers through his hair again, a small smile tugged at his lips. Leon’s widened, but Kate just gave a playful roll of her eyes.
He looked over to the other two, the evening sun shining off his silver glasses. “Roger that.”

Kate actually thoroughly enjoyed spending time with her friends like this, despite the butterflies in her stomach that she attributed to anxiousness, though she knew exactly why they were there. Was it completely idiotic that she was more nervous about looking dumb in front of Leon than breaking and entering an empty house? At least that was straightforward–sort of. It wasn't like she had done anything like it before.

The address was a bit father from the library than they had realized, causing their walk to take several minutes. But, pretty soon the three of them arrived at the address.

"This is it," Leon proclaimed, all three of them staring at the apartments for a moment.

"No shit, Sherlock," Kate responded, crossing her arms across her chest and studying the building.

"So you want to just, go in?" Zephyr asked, making it clear once again that this idea made him uneasy. Kate didn't exactly blame him; this was a dumb idea. But that wasn't going to stop her.

"Yeah, come on," she responded, not one to back down from a challenge. She walked closer to the building until she was standing on the porch. The others followed, Zephyr still looking a trace reluctant, but, if Kate wasn't mistaken, a bit excited as well. She smirked.

Luckily, the kind of apartments that the man had lived in were the kind that more or less looked like regular houses, but with one apartment on top and one on bottom. The apartment they wanted was on the bottom, so they didn't have to climb any staircases and look even more out of place than they surely already did.

Once they were all on the porch, they each looked slightly nervous, but slightly excited. The one to actually try the door was Leon, which surprised Kate just a tiny bit. She felt another zing of butterflies that she did her best to quell. She had to stop thinking of that. She had admitted her dumb crush to herself a while ago, but had never brought it up. Despite her fights with Zephyr, she didn't want to be the one to spoil their group dynamic.

Luckily, the door was unlocked and it swung open on creaky hinges, making them do an anxious glance around. "Stop looking so suspicious," Kate hissed, even though she was sure that she looked just as suspicious as the others.

They stepped inside, one at a time, with Leon in the front and Zephyr in the back. He quickly shut the door behind them, it making another loud creaking noise. The three of them studied the apartment. The front room was fairly boring, with nothing but a moth-eaten couch and broken TV. It looked like it hadn't been cleaned in several months, either. For several movements they all just stood near the door, looking ready to bolt. Kate would've laughed if she wasn't sure that she had the same expression on her face.

"I'm not sure if I'm glad the door was unlocked," Zephyr said, shivering even in his woolen coat. It was freezing inside the old building, a swift current of cool air circulating through the house. There must be an air conditioner somewhere in their, left on high for far too long on an already cool day.
"Might have been fun to try and pick the lock." Kate grinned, despite being clearly as on edge as the other two. She isn't quite as good as playing immortal as she thinks, Zephyr told himself. It made him feel vindicated, even as she took another opportunity to make fun of his every word. Leon was quiet, rubbing her arms; from nerves or the chill it wasn't clear. Zephyr found himself slipping his coat from his arms and holding it out to her as she opened her mouth to protest.
"Just take it." He practically threw it at her and Kate glanced at him bitterly. He couldn't imagine why. Studying the empty apartment, he steeled himself to take a step forward. He didn't want to be a coward, especially not in front of Kate.
"I can't believe we're here and now you guys are too scared to even look around," she laughed, not making any move to begin herself. Gritting his teeth, he pushed himself further into the room. The light-bulbs were bare, as were the walls. There was a bathroom, a small kitchen/dining room, and the living room with it's threadbare couch and unfortunate TV. He wouldn't have imagined the faculty housing to be this poorly furnished, but perhaps some of the stuff they gave the teachers was waiting in storage for the next resident. Overall, the place was disappointingly unassuming. It hardly made for an exciting setting. He grabbed the handle of one of the cabinets in the kitchen and flung it open.

Something fell out with a crash, and Zephyr and Kate both screamed, voices equally high in pitch as he scrambled back away from whatever object had just tumbled out, pressing himself against the table and shielding his face.
"What the holy fucking hell was that," he shouted, perhaps unnecessarily. But Leon simply moved forward, calm and unaffected, scooping up the fallen object as she wore the closest thing to a smirk Zephyr had ever seen on her. She held it out to him. It was a box of sea salt, half empty, store-brand. And, apparently, prone to making quiet loud noises when dropped from height.
"You were saying I was being weird?" She smiled serenely. "Come on. There's a lot left to look through." Beginning to climb the stairs, she was quickly tailed by Kate who scrambled after her without so much as a backwards glance at Zephyr. He slammed the cabinet closed moodily and went to search the couch cushions.

Leon couldn’t say she wasn’t relieved when Zephyr stayed behind. First, she wouldn’t have to deal with his and Kate’s bickering, and second, it was better to deal with emotions from afar. And with a room hosting only a single distraction, it seemed easier.
But… she also couldn’t say there weren’t downsides.
Sure, she only had to deal with one, but it was her and Kate. Alone.
Not like it hadn’t ever happened. So why was today so… difficult? Why was she more… emotional today? She hated it with a burning passion— something she very rarely had.
Of course, she didn’t show it. As cool, calm, and calculating as ever.
She pushed through the door to the upstairs room, hearing the clicking of a clock get louder as she did so. A grandfather clock came into view, about the only thing in the room next to a small rocking chair and cases upon cases of books. Each looked old and dusty, housing nothing but either fables or tales from long ago. Without a second glance, this man was certainly a classic history teacher. Greek and Roman books lined the shelves, all written in a Latin dialect of some variation. Lee brushed her paint-stained fingers against a binding, brushing off the dust and breathing out of her nose quickly so as to not inhale the thick stale scent.
“Historiarum ab Roma?” Kate mumbled, leaning up against the bookshelf beside her and reading off the words engraved carefully in the spine. Leon's heart leapt too high within her throat— from Kate appearing randomly or how close she seemed to be, Lee didn’t know. It took her a minute to push down her will to jump out of her skin before speaking. It was odd for how fast her heart was beating, she seemed completely calm.
“It means Stories from Rome,” she replied nonchalantly. “It’s in Latin.”
“Well, Zeph did say he was a Latin teacher, right? With some Greek and Roman history? Seems to all tack up,” Kate murmured. “I’m really not seeing anything out of the ordinary.”
Kate pushed herself from the bookshelf, beginning to search around the rest of the room. The ticking of the grandfather clock gave the room quite the eerie feel, Lee resisting the chills creeping up her spine. She continued to file through books, trying to see if any pages were missing, or any had been added in.
Suddenly, an odd sound escaped Kate’s mouth. It sounded like a sort of scoff and gasp at the same time, as she stepped quickly back from the clock and shook her head. Lee spun, glancing from her to the object of target.
“What?” Lee asked, her tone too mellow.
Kate just outstretched her arms, exaggeratingly motioning to the clock.
“Look… look at how new it looks,” she mumbled. “Without maintenance for… what? 50 years? It’s… it’s on time perfectly. This wood isn’t damaged— the polish is newer. Is that weird at all? The round thing—,”
“The pendulum bob and lyre,” Lee corrected, but Kate just shook it off.
“Yeah whatever. It looks… glossy. Is it possible they just put this here for, like, storage purposes?” she asked.
“Maybe,” Lee replied, slipping a book back into its shelf. “But I don’t know if I’d count on that.”

(personally, i’m just playing it all by ear lol so i’m gonna roll with it unless velicopede has other plans)

Kate was actually grateful for the distraction of the clock being out of place. Her heart was in her throat and every time she searched something her gaze seemed to find it’s way back to Leon. She had to stop being so obvious, so she really put herself into searching the second she noticed the clock. It being oddly well kept was just a bonus.

“This is weird as hell,” she added, staring at it in thought. Staring at the clock was certainly easier than looking at Leon and hoping the other girl didn’t see the dumb expression on Kate’s face. Her crush was probably the one thing that she had gotten good at hiding.

“Yeah, but do you think this could relate to the murder?” Leon asked, her words bringing Kate back to the subject at hand. “It’s certainly odd, but what does this clock mean?”

“Maybe the man really loved clocks?” Kate joked weakly. “And put it in his will to be cleaned?” Leon gave her a look and she shook her head. “Okay, this is certainly sketchy. Zephyr might know something, since he is our resident bibliophile and the person who found this mystery. You can’t tell me this isn’t just like an episode of Scooby Doo.” Leon laughed lightly at that, and a swell of pride blossomed in Kate’s chest before she managed to tamp it down. Zephyr might help her focus on something besides the beautiful girl next to her.

“Let’s go get him, then,” Leon agreed, and the two girls went back to the living room where Zephyr had stayed. Kate wondered why he hadn’t just followed them. Maybe she had unintentionally been rude to him. Okay, maybe only partially unintentionally. Unless he was still being weird about her dick joke. She shrugged it off.

“Hey, Zephyr, have you found anything yet? Kate discovered this grandfather clock that is suspiciously well kept for such a run-down place,” Leon informed Zephyr, the boy in question lifting his head from where he’d been inspecting the couch cushions.

“What do you mean?” Zephyr asked. “Well kept like polished?”

“And perfectly on time,” Kate added. “Come on, we’ll show you.” She actually was getting a bit excited, and a bit nervous (though she had been a bit nervous since stepping foot in this house). She did her best to hide it, though the others could probably see through her bravado anyway.

"So the whole top floor of this house is exactly as the man left it half a century ago, despite there having been multiple residents between now and then, and you two are worried about a shiny clock?" Zephyr looked from Kate's face to Leon's, eyes flickering wildly around the room in disbelief. Most everything was blanketed in a gratuitous layer of dust and some of the books seemed like their pages would crumble from their bindings with a touch, but everything was here. He pulled open the closet and found it full of clothes; slid open the bedside drawer to reveal scattered pens and bookmarks. And, in the back corner, a well traveled notebook.
It was a crimson shade of red, neatly marked about halfway through with a dark ribbon that had frayed to silken threads at the bottom. All the pages up to the marker were filled with flowing cursive, looping "y"s and "g"s, punctuated by the occasional sketch of a face, diagram, or statue. They were precise and unemotional, clearly the works of a scholar rather than an artist, but they captured their subject well– even in his brief flip through the pages Zephyr had spotted Michelangelo's David at least three times. Though far messier than he'd ever allow his own notebooks to become, he felt an uncomfortable pang of connection to the man. The dead man.
Eager to get the tome out of his hands, he distractedly thrust it at Leon and went back to the drawer. Nothing else of much mystery-solving value was inside, but there was a fancy fountain pen, the kind that could cost upward of $30. Without a second thought, he pocketed it when no one else was looking.
"The inside of the cover says this is volume 18," Leon said softly, startling Zephyr.
"He probably has the others somewhere in here then."
"The other whats?" Blurted Kate from inside the closet. Pulling herself out, she tossed her head of gold-strung hair impatiently. It shone in the light and Zephyr found himself all too transfixed. "I get you've been in full on detective mode, but you could at least explain what you've found."
"A notebook. Maybe a diary?" He brushed her off, sharply adverting his eyes.
"And you said there were others, Lee?"
"Yes, somewhere, hopefully. I don't know if these are the kind of things people keep but-"
"Found 'em." As Leon spoke, Kate had ducked back into the closet and now emerged with a large cardboard box of books of the same size in varying shades of red and purple. Leon beamed.
"We should probably get out of here before the storm breaks," Kate said lazily as she sat down on the bed, rusted springs creaking under her weight. "The ghosts probably come out when the sky gets dark."
"Fine by me," muttered Zephyr. "I have a science paper due tomorrow, so I should really get home. I'll take the journals and we can read through them together when we get a chance." Zephyr, in fact, had no such paper due any time. But he wanted his apartment, his order, his quiet. And a moment to look through the diaries on his own.
"But my dear Zephyr," Kate smirked. "We're real detectives now. There is, to put it professionally, some weird shit going down, and we discovered it. I think that's deserving of a party, at the very least."
Parties with just the three of them were an odd affair, far from the parties Zephyr imagined his more sociable classmates might attend, but strangely enjoyable nonetheless. Until last time when Zephyr emerged from his room in the morning clad in pajama pants and shirtless beside's his binder to find Kate sprawled across the couch, fast asleep. Morning sun was spilling through the uncurtained windows, falling across her face. She looked far gentler than she ever did awake, bordering angelic. Zephyr had barricaded himself in his room, ignoring her knocks on his bedroom door (to apologize for falling asleep? to ask him to join her for breakfast?) until he heard her footsteps move away and the front door click shut behind her. He'd decided after that that it might be best if there weren't any more parties at all.
That had been a month ago and he'd dodged them all since with one paper-thin excuse or another. This time, though, Kate looked determined and Leon certainly wasn't helping.
"You're right, Kate. We should do something. It's only Saturday, and we should be living it up." Irony painted her last words; a rare occurrence to say the least.
"Like an after school special on the dangers of teen drinking," Kate agreed. "Red plastic cups, the like. But of course, Zephyr is far too classy for that. We'll drink from crystal goblets instead." Evidently sensing his hesitation, her face and manor softened. "Come on, Zeph. I know you don't have a headache, or whatever bullshit you're about to claim. I'll bring alcohol and snacks and we can talk about philosophers or the history of air travel or whatever you're reading about. And you said it yourself. I quote: 'being wine drunk is fun cause you get intellectual and horny'."
"I'm quite sure I was already drunk when I said that." He frowned, but his resolve was melting.
"I'll see you at 9." It was Leon who solidified the plan, handing Zephyr back his coat and making for the door. Kate swiftly copied her steps, and Zephyr was just glad not to have to be alone with her. He took one last look around the apartment. In his pocket, the dead man's pen weighed heavy.

Leon hated parties. But she’d never admit it. Just… the bright lights, the dancing, the heat, the alcohol, the smoke… It was like a headache but in situation form.
That’s to say, the parties between the three were never like that.
She hated them much less, even going as far as to say she liked them from time to time.
But ever since those stupid butterflies made themselves known, she had despised them.
Even so, she gave a smile and pushed through the door, holding it out on its creaky hinges until they all exited. She put her hands on either of their shoulders, squeezing them slightly.
“Catch you both later,” she said softly. “Maybe I’ll make myself look more presentable this time.”
“Really?” Kate asked mockingly, raising an eyebrow.
Lee smiled brighter. “No promises. Probably shouldn’t count on it.”
She gave one last small shake to their shoulders, tuning to walk back down the way she had come; back down to the cafe. Zephyr gave a small wave as she turned, and Kate just shifted her weight with her arms crossed in front, still holding that teasing smile. Leon, yet again, had to resist the urge to scream. The voice in her heart was going absolute ham, but she shut it out as best she could.
The sun sunk lower into the streets, casting that same comforting orange glow. Her footsteps echoed on the somewhat empty streets. She stuffed her hands back in her jacket pockets, noticing how much colder it was without Zephyr’s jacket.
Multiple questions popped up about the subject, but she shoved them all back one by one.
It hadn’t meant anything. Anything at all.
It didn’t take long for her to get back to her apartment. It was a studio, the cheapest one she could afford. It had been a recent move-in, so the decorating was slow-going, and she was the one that made most of it. She had bought dollar-store lights and a small book light as the only lamps, just keeping her windows open for light during the day.
She slipped through the door, breathing in the lilac flowers she kept in a vase by the door. Well… more of a cup, but she had painted it to look more presentable.
Lee shut and locked the door behind her, not even a foot in and beginning to put on music. It was a chill folk and indie station that reminded her of the cafe, but much more woodsy. The acoustic guitar at least calmed her nerves. Well… not that she’d admit she’d had any.

She brushed past the paintings still laying on the floor and stood in the middle of her room, just staring at the floor. Her mind was completely blank, not even knowing what to think. Finally pushing back the immature notion, she sat on her bed, closing her eyes and taking a deep breath.
Things would get easier, right? Not that today had been any indication.
The music added to the mood too well, so she flipped on a different station. It was more upbeat, but still, every single one was a love song.
She finally grit her teeth and pushed pause, spending the rest of the next few hours in total silence.
Something she hated about as much as those butterflies.

After a brief moment of awkward silence, Kate turned to Zephyr. “Well, see you soon,” she said, giving him a small smile. Some people gave out smiles as often as they breathed, but Kate reserved her smiles for moments that she felt deserved them. Kate was careful that way, as if saving her expressions and words would make them mean more. She was actually quite glad to have her friends, and she decided that no matter how many petty fights she got into with them (them mostly being Zephyr), she would not let this year go to waste. She’d been saving her last year here, just like she saved everything else.

She waved before walking back to her apartment. It was nice enough, as Kate’s father was not poor by any means, but it was lonely and empty. Kate had hung up a few posters and photos, but it didn’t seem to do anything for the boring room. She wasn’t even sure if her friends knew how deeply lonely she felt when they weren’t around. It was part of the reason she had suggested the party after all, besides the obvious one of wanting to have a fun senior year. She’d never been good at making friends that were more than just surface level, but Kate didn’t mind not being popular or invited to lots of parties. She’d been there and done that, and it wasn’t nearly as much fun as having a party with just Zephyr and Leon.

Even if her own heart was being strange around Leon, she still had more fun with those two than anyone else. She sighed, thinking back to her first year at the school. She’d thought that being popular and going to parties would make up for the ache in her chest that hadn’t still fully healed. But she’d been a bitch that year, and before it was up, she realized that none of those friends really cared about her. Then she started being more careful, saving more. She smiled at the pictures on her wall, getting nostalgic at the fact that soon she, Zephyr, and Leon would all be going their separate ways. She would make this the best party yet.

(sorry its short hahah)

Kate and Leon showed up, as promised, at nine. Kate and Leon also showed up, unexpectedly, together. This caught Zephyr off guard enough for him to leave the two locked outside for a moment longer than necessary, shouting out to them that he needed "just a second," which was true, in some ways. He stood in front of the tarnished brass mirror he'd found in an antique shop back home and put an unholy amount of effort into lugging to his school when he moved back in for the semester, and began to meticulously comb his hair. It was getting longer than he cared for; he'd have to have it cut soon. He hadn't had it much past his ears since he was eight years old, in third grade, and called Flora. He'd hacked it all off with safety scissors during class one day and his panicked teacher had sent him home, where his bewildered parents exiled him to his bedroom for the afternoon. Not for cutting his hair, of course, they couldn't care less about that, but for behaving so wildly in class. He'd used that time to shred his holiday dress as well, ripping the gauzy green thing into long, thin strips, leaving pieces scattered across his carpet. They'd never made him dress femininely again. Looking in this mirror, he could already feel the old discomfort creeping back– his jawline was too round, shoulders too slim. Stomach aching and skin creeping, he tore himself from the mirror as he chided himself on what a waste of time it was to stand there and hate his body. Kate and Leon filed in the second the door was opened, shivering. He felt a taint of remorse for leaving them in the frigid hallway as a biting lick of cold followed them in. Fall in Massachusetts was often like this; warm morning and rainy afternoon tailed by a night that made itself blizzard-freezing, despite the clear skies. Kate kept glancing guiltily at Leon, who was rubbing her arms through her bomber jacket, then down at her own thick, woolen winter coat. Still, Kate had made no move to offer her her own.
Scared to steal my move, Zephyr thought smugly. Not that it had been a "move" when he gave Leon his own jacket earlier, not in any way. There was something about Kate that scared him, something in her laugh that made heat grow in his face and ice tumble down his back, but Leon wasn't like that. She was objectively fine looking and objectively kind. Too good for either of us, he'd thought on more than one occasion. Her compassion was wasted on him and Kate both. Yet she stayed, and for that, though he'd never been able to put it into words Zephyr loved her. He loved her in a soft, uncomplicated way, one built in time mixed with gratitude and friendship. In all truth, there was nothing more there.
Kate had brought wine and beer as promised, and Leon clutched a giant bag of popcorn– the kind sold by the street vendor at the corner of campus, giant, cheap, buttery, and extravagant in volume. For an awkward second, Zephyr just hovered.
"Does anyone want tea?"
"Oh, please." Kate rolled her eyes. "Just get the glasses."
Zephyr pulled them one by one from the high shelf above his sink– three elegant, long-stemmed wine glasses that grew into complicated fractal patterns at the top. Kate had found them in a thrift shop and proudly presented them to Zephyr for these very occasions.
The ice around them melted as soon as the glasses were filled, and everything about the evening began to sparkle, perfect and warm. I try to be honest as your narrator, friends, present you with every detail as is my humble work, make myself inseparable from the web of words I tie for you. But here, this illusion will break, for reasons of ethics. I cannot tell you of the three's party in respect for them, their rituals, the very glimmer and promise of being young. What I can tell you is how Zephyr recounted, with theatrical arm motions punctuating his excited monologue, the travels of Jean de Boisduval, a scientist he'd found himself fascinated by. I can tell you how Kate screeched with delight and amazement as Leon flipped through her phone to show her images of a few recently completed paintings. I can tell you that it looked like a movie scene, and they'd all forgotten how temporary it was. I can tell you that it was nearly four in the morning, and everyone had had so much to drink. Above them, the bare, dim, filament light bulbs looked like stars.
Imagine you are Zephyr for a moment, if you'll humor me. Imagine you excuse yourself to use the restroom but instead go to your bedroom and lock the door. You sit on your bed, staring at your palms, transfixed by the endless criss-crossing lines. You are a practical person, a science person, but they seem for a moment like a road map of where you've been. You are so young, waiting on the end while barely passed the starting line. Suddenly, you are bold and decide to tell Kate everything, it seems only natural, to reach out and touch her freckled shoulder, to see her beautiful, cursed eyes. For a moment, you aren't scared. So you leave your bedroom, return to the living room. Your foot crosses the threshold at the exact moment Kate's lips meet Leon and stay there, eyes closed. They melt into each other, and you are quiet, and all you can think is how it's very late, past three AM, and you need some rest and they need some rest and you feel sick. Then so sad. Then so stupid. Then nothing at all.
"I think, somehow, I always knew," you mutter, Zephyr mutters. Kate and Leon pull apart like a gun shot went off.
Kate looks right into Zephyr's eyes.
Still, he feels nothing at all.