forum A Different Kind of Anti Villain (OxO with @Dayzed, MATURE)

Started September 24, 2023 by @Desvelarse pets

tune

Kohen saw how the man seemed to be in deep thought- almost as if he was… paralyzed. And in more ways than one.
He didn't know what else to say. Kohen was notorious for being a rough individual. Yes, he had his moments where the gooey parts of him became exposed, but Kohen was all bloodied knuckles and anger- even to those who had experienced heavy trauma. He wasn't kind. At all. To anyone.

Or so he told himself that.

However, his actions contradicted his thoughts and claims. He didn't know it, but his attempts at making others feel better came out in harsh jokes, or pushing other's buttons to get them angry and use him as a target- he could take it. A good beating. He didn't mind- as long as the other person felt better afterward. It's what he would want, so he did it for others.
While he no longer bullied people, a watered-down version of that came out when he wanted to cheer someone up. Maybe it would be in the form of taunting someone to get them to try something new or just straight-up making someone do something- very similar to how he had switched beverages with Vaughn.

One thing was for sure, though. Kohen didn't know softness. He could express it on his face and physically hold himself back, which looked a lot like softness, but intentional softness was not something he knew. He hadn't ever received that and he hadn't ever given it back into the world.

Vaughn however…

He didn't know. It was rare for Kohen to think of someone so highly. He respected those who were stronger- looked up to them. He wanted to be that way too, and Vaughn checked off all those boxes in the physical sense. Killer or not, he was strong, and it was admirable.

Which was why, this time, he did seem to be intentionally softer, his heart beating faster as the unfamiliar feeling took over. Vaughn was strong, but it seemed that his mental state was a wreck. The subtle movements of the other and look in his eyes reading a lot like desperation to Kohen- he even got the vaguest hint of worry. And for a moment, he could see his childhood self in Vaughn, even if it was only for a split second.

He wasn't though- his childhood self anymore. Instead, he had become unbearable to be around. He was too unapologetic and dismissive.

But… Vaughn caught his attention in more ways than one, and Kohen's curiosity would be the death of him.
However now, the words that came tumbling out of Vaughn's mouth froze him in place. It took a second. Two seconds. Three, then four, then five, before Kohen processed exactly what it was that he had heard.

A smile of disbelief appeared on his face and it threatened to become cruel- but he resisted laughing. Like me? He thought it over in his head. Maybe he was just jumping to conclusions and he had only said that cause he liked Kohen's company but when Vaughn apologized over and over after the fact- that's when Kohen knew he hadn't just meant it casually.

The anxiety inside him seemed to spike. Maybe he should leave, because at this rate, Kohen's nervousness would lead him to…

Hurt him.

It was like it was the only thing Kohen knew how to do. He felt sad? Hurting someone would make him feel better. Angry? Hurting someone would fix that too. Jealousness and fear- it helped with it all and his control over things soothed him.

This time, though, he could see the clear panic on the other's face- the atmosphere around him heavy with anxiety.
The apologies were still swimming in Kohen's head, but then Vaughn was getting up to leave and anger hit Kohen like a ton of bricks.

Sorry??? Why the hell are you leaving?

Kohen didn't miss a beat as Vaughn got up, yet letting the guy stand to see if he would actually leave. And when it looked like he would, his hand swiftly grabbed the half-finished cup of soda- his aim at Vaughn.

"Hey, asshole!" He called out before the cup left his hand and made contact with Vaughn before it fell and the liquid pooled near Vaughn's feet. The rush of adrenaline made Kohen's heart hammer in his chest. He could have done more. He could have punched him, knocked him to the floor to hurt him till his heart's content, but he hadn't. Not that this was any better.

Kohen's face had mirrored Vaughn's in that instance, his face, along with the tips of his ears red from how hard he was blushing.
"That how you confess to people you like? It's shitty. Needs work" He hissed out, his hand trembling as he placed it on the table to stabilize himself. His anxiety had gotten to be too much that it showed all over his body- the way he was visibly shaking now.

"You're stupid." The heat only seemed to grow more intense as Kohen spoke, now speaking with emotions, instead of thinking anything through. "How the hell do you know I don't like you too?!" A dangerous bite in his tone as he raised his voice. Why was Vaughn apologizing? He was apologizing like it was bad to like him- was it? Kohen's heart constricted with the realization that even if people did like him, maybe it was too much to be with him. And the scene in front of him was probably exhibit A.

Vaughn's emotions showed clear on his face. Waves of emotions went through him, mixing together until they formed one big mess. He went from feeling angry, to confusion, to hurt. He didn't understand exactly what he had done wrong. Had he messed up so bad by blurting out his confession to Kohen.

He hadn't had much time to react when Kohen threw his cherry cola at him. All he had been able to do was lift his hands in a way to try and shield himself, but it didn't do him much good. The cup hit his chest, splashing brown liquid onto his grey crewneck hoodie. It left a decent sized stain, and he looked down at himself with wide eyes. The glass landed at his feet with a shatter, causing those around them to turn and stare. He could barely deal with Kohen's eyes being on him so often, much less an entire restaurant. "Kohen, what the hell?" he hissed out, face turning red with embarrassment.

Nothing was said as Kohen scolded him. He flinched when Kohen called him stupid, the movement faint but still visible. He seemed to shrink into himself in a way, like he would be able to hide. He would hide often as a kid. When his father would come back home drunk, he would hide away in his closet. He would curl up in the back of it, arms wrapped around his knees as he tried to make himself as small as possible. If he was small, maybe he wouldn't be noticed. It worked for a while, but his father eventually found his hiding spot, and he was suddenly no longer invisible. He wished that he could be invisible.

The reason Vaughn had apologized had been because he expected to be rejected. He thought that if he apologized fast enough, then Kohen would consider forgiving him and continue going out with him. He bit the inside of his cheek as he saw the way that Kohen trembled with emotion. Kohen hadn't rejected him, but he hadn't accepted his feelings either. Before he even thought about pressing the conversation further, he pulled off his sweatshirt, not wanting to liquid to seep onto his white t-shirt that he wore underneath. He dropped it onto his seat, rubbing a hand over his face.

Not wanting to cause even more of a scene, Vaughn suddenly grabbed onto Kohen's arm firmly, dragging him into the bathroom. It was a private, single person bathroom, and once inside, he locked the door behind them. "Kohen, why did you do that?" he asked, sounding frustrated and upset. His brow was furrowed and he frowned softly. Was what he did really bad enough to cause Kohen to react in such a way.

"I'm sorry, I panicked- I got scared," he stammered out, which was true. He was scared of losing Kohen's companionship, so he did what he thought would help. Clearly, that wasn't the right answer. "I'm not good at this, I know that. You said it yourself, I'm odd."

Vaughn exhaled sharply, head tilting back for a moment. His eyes shut as he attempted to collect his thoughts. What was he even supposed to do now? He didn't know how Kohen felt, much less what he thought of him at that point. "I do like you, I wasn't lying about that," he mumbled, "If you don't feel the same, that's fine, but I like having you around. I want to stay around you."

He wasn't good with his emotions. But was that an excuse for this? There was a reason he avoided his feelings, he hadn't learned how to deal with them properly. And Vaughn suddenly confessing to him threw Kohen's mind into a panic. He couldn't be attracted to this- he couldn't. So his solution had been to cause a commotion- typical.

Kohen's eyes landed on Vaughn's shirt, the stain clear and for a second, reminding him of how they had "first met", though, it hadn't been this bad. He knew he had messed up and the only thing that read on his face was regret. But isn't this how it always went? No one had taught him how to ruin his relationships with everyone important that he knew- he had done that himself.
The flinch from Vaughn bringing on that same squeezing feeling to his chest as the painful feeling burrowed itself further into Kohen.

The only thing he could do now was watch as Vaughn took the top layer off and set it down.

But when Kohen realized he was reaching for him, he tried to jerk back- though, it seemed over the top as he did so, his eyes wide as he wasn't able to evade the taller man. Kohen winced as Vaughn grabbed him, his arm tender with bruises that his body was working to get rid of.
It didn't take long for the sick feeling to start up in his stomach again as he was led away.
"V-Vaughn… wait-" he tried to reason but it didn't do much as he soon found himself locked in a tiny room with the other.
Kohen hadn't waited to snatch his arm away, backing away from Vaughn to the point where his back hit the wall. He eyed him carefully. He wouldn't do anything here…right? He didn't have a weapon on him? No- it was too public for something like that. He'd get caught. The thought seemed to soothe him, his body slumping against the tile wall.

"Wait- just…." Kohen held up a hand as he hunched forward, placing his other hand on his knee for support. He really did feel sick now and it was taking everything in him not to throw up. But Vaughn's words didn't stop and they muddled in his head as he slid down to the bathroom floor, now bunching his hair up in his fist as he set his forehead against one of his knees.

"No…-" He started, but the only thing that had been there since the beginning echoed over and over in his mind. I think I like you too, but I don't want to. I'm also scared. However, what came out instead was…
"I'm just a dick."

While Vaughn seemed perfectly capable of expressing how he felt, saying exactly what he needed to without any repercussions, it wasn't the same for Kohen. He couldn't do it. Guilt and shame and fear gagged him, then consumed him with the mere thought of saying what was on his mind.

It took a minute longer for Kohen to gather himself. Gods was he exhausted.

Once he looked up to see Vaughn's face, there was a near-irritated look on Kohen's face that showed in the form of a slight glare, however, laced with guilt and sadness. It seemed that even in these situations there was still a roughness to him- the expression on his face looking angry, even when he wasn't.

He swallowed harshly, muttering something about how 'odd didn't equate to something bad'.

The rest of Vaughn's words kept Kohen silent, now biting down on the side of his lip as he examined literally anything else but Vaughn- looking a lot like he was still trying to act tough. However, the gloss in his eyes was clear as day even as he kept trying to maintain his feelings bottled. He didn't know why he suddenly felt so overwhelmed as Vaughn cleared things up with him- that he still wanted to hang around him despite it all. That he liked him.

He liked him too. Kohen liked him too. I like you too. He gradually allowed himself to think the words.
It all felt like too much though- his attraction to Vaughn. He wanted that- to be with someone he liked, but he couldn't. And the more he thought about it, that he couldn't have what he wanted, that he couldn't ever be himself or be happy finally pushed him over the edge. It showed in the way a steady stream of tears streaked down his face, Kohen now frustratingly trying to wipe them away. He was fine. He was fine. This was all so stupid to cry over- his father would kill him if he saw him crying. What would he think? What would he think? It repeated in his head.

"Yeah…" Came Kohen's hoarse and shaky voice. "…you're not at all-" not at all like the person I saw last night. He wanted to say, but never finished the sentence.
He wondered what would happen if he could shut his brain off for a second and let himself speak every repressed thought he had since he'd been a kid. He wondered if it'd give him peace of mind, or would help calm his soul from the turbulence.

Don't apologize. You should never apologize for things you do if you are right. Came his father's stern words, but here he was, an apology halfway out his mouth.
"I'm sorry…-" he nearly choked on the words, the unfamiliarness strange on his tongue. "It's not your fault" he forced out.
"I apparently haven't been housebroken yet" he spoke, straining to hear himself over the overwhelming… well, everything.
Kohen never spoke of himself like that- for those who knew him, but in this instance, it seemed like he had adopted his father's vocabulary into his own.

The exhaustion mixed with a lot of things he hadn't expected seemed to defeat him.

What the hell. Why not. What more did he have to lose? His soul to eternal damnation?
The thought made his hand shake until he balled it into a fist.

"I feel the same…" Came Kohen's quiet words, like he couldn't bring himself to raise his voice any further. "…'like you…" he continued, now sounding muffled as he dipped his head down again to rest it on his knees. "…'just don't know what to do with it, I panicked too…" he rubbed the back of his neck as if he were trying to comfort himself.
"Sorry," his voice became a little clearer at the end even though he felt all too hot from the embarrassment with every word that passed through his lips.

Vaughn's head fell down as Kohen spoke, watching as the ginger man sank down to the floor. He felt guilty all of a sudden. He hadn't wanted Kohen to be upset about anything. Despite being paranoid about Kohen exposing him if he ever found out his identity, he didn't want to hurt Kohen- not one bit. Not physically or mentally. He wanted to keep Kohen safe and well. He couldn't imagine being anything like his father and causing someone so much pain for no reason.

Then, Kohen began to cry. Tears streamed down his cheeks, and Vaughn began to panic. He pushed aside his own anxieties in favor of concentrating on Kohen's distress. His lips parted, not ever expecting to see Kohen cry, especially over something like this. Carefully, he moved to sit down next to Kohen. He moved like Kohen was an injured wild animal that would be scared away or attack if he went too fast or close. He kept a small bit of space between them, not touching Kohen for the time being. "Hey, it's ok- don't cry, it's ok," he stammered, trying to soothe Kohen. His eyes were a bit wide, filled with worry as he looked at Kohen. He didn't want to see Kohen cry, not for any reason. His heart ached at the sight, and he wished there was a quick way to fix it. If only fixing it was as easy as killing a random person. He thought he could do that if it meant Kohen wouldn't cry again.

Housebroken. The word felt strange to him. It was like Kohen was trying to say that however he acted wasn't right. That confused Vaughn. What about Kohen wasn't right? So far, he liked everything about Kohen. He even liked Kohen's feistier side- the side of him that caused him to throw drinks on another person for confessing their feelings. He enjoyed being around Kohen, even if they hadn't known each other. They had only hung out twice, yet he already felt so attached. Maybe it was because he had no one else in his life to be around, so he was latching onto the closest thing that provided some sort of companionship. Whether that was true or not, he cared about Kohen and wanted to see him safe.

"You don't need to be housebroken, whatever that means," he stated, trying his best to speak firm but soft. He would try his best to comfort Kohen the best that he was able to. While he might not be the best at it, he would make an attempt for the person he cared for.

Kohen liked him. Kohen actually liked him too. The confirmation shocked Vaughn, the surprise visible on his face. What he wanted to do was grin. He wanted to laugh and be happy about Kohen reciprocating his feelings. Internally, he did just that. He felt delight swell up in his chest, threatening to escape. Though, he would save his celebration for when Kohen was a bit more emotionally stable. He scooted a bit closer to Kohen, not touching him but still close.

Vaughn's arm moved, painfully slow so that Kohen would see it coming. His arm draped around Kohen's shoulders, hand moving to the side of Kohen's head. He nudged Kohen's head to the side so it would rest against his shoulder. Once it was there, his fingers brushed through Kohen's hair gently. As a kid, when he would be upset or have nightmares, his mother would do something similar. She would hold him to her and stroke his head until he calmed enough to relax again. He hoped that it would have a similar effect for Kohen as it did for him as a child.

"It's ok, you don't need to apologize," he started, nails lightly scratching Kohen's scalp, "I'm sorry for almost running away. I should have stuck around to see what you would have said."

A moment of silence passed before some intrusive thoughts slipped from Vaughn's lips. He didn't feel like he was the one saying it, yet he was. Being so bold was unlike him, maybe even completely inappropriate for the current situation. Still, he said it and couldn't take it back. The emotions he felt swelled too deep in his chest, and they escaped through his lips in such a strange way. "Kohen- can I kiss you?"

Kohen didn't know to explain to Vaughn that this wasn't his fault- or at least not entirely. No one would have seen it coming- not even Kohen who kept a tight lid on everything emotion-related. Vaughn may have kickstarted it, but really, this was bound to happen eventually. It had only been a matter of time.

As Vaughn took the space beside him, Kohen seemed to tense at that, now vigorously trying to wipe the tears away even more. There was no way he would let Vaughn see what a mess his face had become now that he was closer.
However, even with all the wiping, his eyelashes still stuck together in certain sections, the corners of his eyes gaining a faint redness as Kohen irritated his skin with the excess wiping.

Vaughn telling him not to cry simultaneously pissed him off as much as it made him want to cry even more. It was the thought that the other man had seen him this way that Kohen hated. That mixed with the soft words he hadn't ever gotten tugged at his heartstrings. He hadn't ever felt this way before and was slowly deciding that he didn't like how the kind words made him feel. It was like he had spilled all his guts out on the floor. He was vulnerable right now and it felt unbearable- to be exposed like this.

The words repeated back to him gave him a bit of a shock, as if in disbelief that he had said that about himself.
He didn't answer Vaughn, a small part of him not believing the words, but also not wanting to say so. But it was then that he turned to look over at Vaughn, his head still resting on his legs. There was a light blush on his face as he looked Vaughn over. He was sitting right there. Next to him. So casually. With him.

He saw the way Vaughn's overall demeanor seemed to light up, a type of relief and maybe even excitement there. It only turned his face red to know that it was genuine- still having held onto the small bit of doubt in his heart. He never let himself hope too far and wouldn't have been surprised if Vaughn was just playing a cruel prank on him.

Vaughn moving closer to him alarmed Kohen a bit, but he allowed it- and didn't move away even though his anxiety was practically screaming at him to run. Still, the move made him sit up from his previous slouched position. The slow movements from the other made Kohen narrow his eyes, yet, his heart stilled as it was the most honest part of him.
He was silently grateful for the careful approach.

Even though physical contact to this extent made Kohen nervous, he did lean on Vaughn… despite the way his body tensed.

The moment Vaughn ran his hand through his hair in an attempt to soothe him, Kohen's heart felt all too heavy. Heavy in the way his body slowly relaxed against the other. It didn't help that he was tired, the gentle touch coaxing him to close his eyes.
And again, Kohen said nothing to Vaughn's words, not having much to say save for a faint pleased noise that came from him, sounding a lot like a soft drawn-out tired hum.

His next words however brought a burning heat to his face. He supposed that's what lovers did, but he was all too unprepared for it. He hadn't ever kissed anyone before. How could he say that he was inexperienced in the area of romance?
"I…I'm not- t-that's…I wouldn't…" the words faded as he grew increasingly flustered. "If you really want to-" He said at least, a faked indifference on his face, even though his heart was hammering against his chest now.
He swallowed hard, not being able to look at Vaughn. "Just- I'm not too familiar so it might not be good, I haven't…" and then it hit him. Wouldn't this be his first time at any of this?
"Listen." He said firmly as he spoke again, trying to brush off the embarrassment. "I haven't been with anyone before….er, ever." He finished, now feeling like he was really exposing himself.
"So, I'm serious" he tried to make a case. He was all too anxious about this to the point where it looked like he was stalling for time. "You're going to be disappointed" he drew into himself some with that last line. Maybe Vaughn wouldn't want to anymore if he laid everything out on the table. He was new to everything in every sense of the word.

Vaughn wanted to kiss Kohen. He wanted to do that more than he thought he had ever wanted to do anything else. He wanted to get closer to Kohen, to wrap his arms around him and try to make him feel better. If he could do just that, then everything would be ok, he thought. Though, he noticed the way that Kohen grew anxious and how his body tensed up.

Kohen had never kissed anyone before. That was a bit of a surprise. While Kohen had attempted to convince him at the pet store that he had sex before, he hadn't been too convincing. Though, that was just sex. Vaughn at least thought Kohen would have kissed someone before. Kohen was attractive and, in his opinion, had a good personality. How could someone not want to kiss Kohen, especially when he looked so wide eyed and red in the face. "I thought you said you got around," he hummed, teasing Kohen a bit in an attempt to lighten the mood. He wondered what Kohen's excuse for the bruises on his neck would be now, since clearly, they weren't hickeys from some mystery woman.

Though, the fact that Kohen hadn't kissed anyone before didn't turn him off from the idea. No, it was the complete opposite. It got him excited. He was happy to be Kohen's first kiss. It appealed to something possessive inside of him. No one else had gotten to touch Kohen like that, no one but him. He was overjoyed by the idea of that. It showed on his face, with the way his eyes seemed to light up. He would be Kohen's first.

"How could I be disappointed about something like that?" he breathed, tilting his head to look at Kohen better. "I don't mind being your first anything."

Vaughn's hand left Kohen's hair, moving to take Kohen's chin between his fingers so he could turn Kohen's face towards his. His gaze went from Kohen's eyes to his lips, and his stomach churned with anxiety and anticipation. For once, everything was quiet. Figure wasn't there, and neither were any of the other intrusive voices. He felt settled, like it was just him and Kohen in their own little bubble. He wanted to stay in that moment forever. Maybe every time him and Kohen did something like this, his mind would get quiet. That made him want to try over and over again. "It's ok, you don't need to be nervous," he murmured, thumb rubbing against Kohen's jaw gently. They were close now, enough to where he could feel Kohen's breath against his face.

Wasting no time, Vaughn closed the gap between them. His lips pressed to Kohen's softly, giving Kohen any chance to pull away if he wanted to. He took things slow, leaving a couple lingering pecks to Kohen's lips before properly kissing him. He quickly grew addicted to the feeling of Kohen's lips and how he tasted. If he wasn't too concerned about taking things slowly with Kohen, he would have quickly devoured the other man alive. His obsession deepened in that exact moment, and he knew that this couldn't be the last time that they kissed.

Vaughn's hand left Kohen's chin in favor of resting on his cheek and jaw instead. His other hand steadied himself by resting on Kohen's knee, touch light enough that Kohen could easily brush it off if he wanted to. He tasted fresh, like minty toothpaste. There was also a hint of something a bit more metalic from when he had bit the inside of his cheek. He hadn't noticed it before, but he had left a small break in the skin that caused a light amount of bleeding. It was a strange combination of flavors, but they somehow fit hand in hand with each other.

The kiss didn't last long. It ended, and he pecked Kohen's lips once more before separating. His hand stayed on Kohen's face, caressing his cheek in an affectionate way. His face was red, and despite the kiss having been slow and sweet, he looked breathless. His eyes were all hazy, like he was drunk. Maybe he was, feeling like he was drunk off of Kohen. "Was that ok?" he breathed.

He thought that it was more than ok. He thought that simple kiss was the best kiss that he had ever shared with another person. "Can we do it again? Please?" he asked, practically giving Kohen puppy dog eyes as he spoke. He wanted more. He wanted to kiss Kohen again and again, wanted to kiss him not only on his lips but all over. He would do whatever Kohen wanted him to do if it meant that they could kiss again. He could be a good boy if it meant that Kohen would kiss him again.

Kohen shot Vaughn a hard glare at the tease, though, the red on his face was too apparent to take him seriously.
"Shut up…" He muttered, now slightly embarrassed about the fact that it was clear that he had lied before about the hickeys.

His eyes flickered up to look at Vaughn for a moment after that, wondering what kind of expression he would be making. Surely, he preferred the more experienced. But when he did, he was surprised to see a sort of delight in Vaughn's eyes- it made Kohen's eyes widen a bit at the thought of him not minding it.

First anything. The words rang in his head.

Kohen brought a hand to his face at the implication of that. His other hand tugged on Vaughn's shirt as if telling him to stop putting images in his head.
His grip only tightened on his shirt as Vaughn guided his face to look up at him. He moved the hand covering part of his face to gently grab Vaughn's wrist, swallowing harshly as he looked into his eyes. The trail from his brown eyes to his lips made him suck in a shaky breath. He really was out of his comfort zone with this one.
It didn't take long for Kohen's eyes to flicker away from the anxiety as Vaughn drew close. Though, the reassuring words and touch to his face slowed his heart some.
The moment of calmness faded, however, when Vaughn pressed his lips to his, Kohen's breath hitching from surprise. A muffled sound escaped him as he released Vaughn's hand and moved to press it against his chest instead, both of his hands now clinging onto his shirt with a cluelessness of where to put them.

Kohen appreciated the slow pace but it made his heart beat wildly from both the anxiety of never having done this and the excitement of experiencing something new. The peppered kisses made Kohen chase after Vaughn's lips for more, unsure of what to expect.
Once Vaughn pressed into him one final time, deepening their kiss, Kohen let out a small whimper. His worries about anything he had had before quickly melted into the sensation of Vaughn's warmth.
It felt good. It felt good to be this close to someone- it felt like love.

At the moment- and almost always, as Vaughn would soon come to find out, Kohen tasted sweet, just like the cherry cola he had drank. He was constantly snacking on something cherry-flavored- mostly just candies, or drinks that were sickeningly sweet- the taste always lingering in his mouth. On the days when he was having a particularly bad time, he would indulge in the sourness of candies instead of the sweet ones. What he ate largely depended on how he felt.

The taste of Vaughn felt all too familiar to Kohen, tasting his own blood in his mouth time and time again. It was odd, but Kohen didn't dislike it. Because it was familiar, the combination of the two gave him a sense of security and trust, his body slowly relaxing into Vaughn's touch.

As Vaughn pulled away and ended the kiss, Kohen looked to be slightly dazed now, as if he had been expecting Vaughn to keep going even when he broke contact between them. All Kohen could do in response to Vaughn's question was nod, the action stuttered as he tried to shake the pleasant fuzz that had clouded his mind.
The pleading seemed to shock Kohen back to reality, quickly sobering up with the look Vaughn was giving him. A ghost of a smile twitched at the edge of Kohen's lips as he took a second to try and catch his breath- despite it having been a slow kiss.
"Uhm..- y-yeah, that's fine…" he said all too meekly. "…'don't mind.." he added at the end, trying to subtly and quickly lick his lips before Vaughn decided to kiss him again- as if already missing the softness of Vaughn's lips on his.

Vaughn had practically melted when Kohen had whimpered against his lips. That was a tempting noise. He wondered what else he could do to get Kohen to make that noise again. Was Kohen just sensitive to their kissing, or had it been something out of surprise? Either way, he wanted to replicate it. He wanted to keep a recording of that sound that he could listen to whenever he felt like it. The hands that gripped onto his shirt was the icing on the cake. It was like Kohen's body was speaking for itself and begging him to keep going.

The fact that Kohen tasted like cherry came as no surprise to Vaughn. It brought a little smile to his lips. Cherry was slowly going to become his favorite flavor as well if that was what Kohen tasted like. It was cherry, and a bit of something sweeter. It was strange that Kohen, who's personality was so fiery and loud, could be so sweet. He didn't want anyone else to get to experience that sweetness. He wanted to keep that side of Kohen all to himself. if Kohen allowed him to, he would jump on the opportunity in a heartbeat.

When Kohen said that they could kiss again, Vaughn once again lit up. A smile formed on his lips, being much more noticeable and brighter. He was clearly showing his emotions on his face a bit more naturally now. He gave Kohen's knee a small squeeze, brushing his thumb against Kohen's plump bottom lip gently. The skin was soft, though he knew that already from their kiss. How Kohen had never done this before was beyond him. If anyone knew how sweet he tasted or how soft his lips were, they would probably want a turn. That wouldn't happen, though- not if Vaughn had anything to say about it. He didn't like sharing.

Vaughn leaned in again, kissing Kohen with a bit more confidence now. He still kept things slow, not wanting to overwhelm him, but wasted no time with the innocent pecking. He pressed closer to Kohen, his hand that was on Kohen's chin moving to the back of Kohen's head. His fingers laced through the hair on the back of Kohen's neck, scratching at the skin in a comforting way. He was glad that Kohen seemed to be getting into the act more. The way that Kohen's lips had previously chased after his didn't go unnoticed. He wondered what other things Kohen would surprise him with. "You can put your hands in my hair if you want," he murmured between kisses, knowing that Kohen seemed unsure about where to rest his hands. He loved having his hair played with, he found. Any sort of petting, scratching, pulling- he loved all of it.

He decided to take things a bit further. His lips parted, tongue brushing against Kohen's lips. "Open your mouth a little bit for me," he encouraged softly. Once Kohen did, he was able to kiss Kohen deeper. His tongue slipped onto Kohen's mouth, brushing against Kohen's tongue. Now, he could really taste the cherry cola. He huffed softly at the taste in a pleased manner, grip on Kohen's knee tightening in the slightest. There was the urge to take things even further. He wanted more with Kohen, to help him experience all of the things he hadn't been able to yet.

That couldn't happen, though. Vaughn cared about Kohen. Kohen was too special to experience any more firsts on the floor of a bathroom. As much as he wanted to be greedy, he couldn't push himself to continue on with Kohen. Still, he would indulge in continued kissing. The pace of the kiss increased, and his hand left Kohen's knee to rest on his hip instead. He held firm, his thumb rubbing circles against Kohen's hip. "You're doing good, Kohen, you're really good," he breathed against Kohen's lips, petting his scalp.

It wasn't lost on Kohen how much brighter Vaughn seemed than before. He didn't know he could have that kind of effect on someone and it made his heart swell with delight that anyone could be happy because of him.
The color on his face darkened with the brush across his lip, his eyes looking down at Vaughn's hand as he did so before looking back up at him. He wouldn't lie- that small gesture made him feel so many things. For one, it made him feel wanted… in the warmest softest of ways that so happened to pull at his heart.

The press against his lips drew a soft sound from him once more, as if trying to brace himself for the heart-stopping feeling of Vaughn but unable to. The straightforwardness of the kiss made it impossible for Kohen to ready himself, and in return, made a faint trembling start across his body. It was a lot like a physical manifestation of how his heart was making him feel.

Once Vaughn had started to speak in between the kisses, Kohen languidly opened his eyes, the comforting feeling of Vaughn's hand at the back of his neck having lulled him into relaxing and closing his eyes. It took a second for him to process the words, but when he did he moved so his arms draped over Vaughn's shoulders. His hands gently ran through his hair, absentmindedly brushing through and feeling the texture. He decided he loved it- running his hands through the other's hair. Kohen was an anxious person and almost always needed to fidget with something and this was doing wonders in helping him not to be such an anxious mess.

Kohen found that the familiar hammer of his chest increased with Vaughn's encouraged words. He wasn't one to do as he was told but in this moment, he was more than inclined to follow Vaughn's lead.
Feeling the new and unfamiliar motion of kissing brought his eyebrows together- not at all displeased, but trying hard to keep up. A few breathy sounds escaped Kohen as he just barely pushed further into Vaughn. He was still a bit hesitant and very shy about it all but seemed to be enjoying this interaction with the dark-haired male.

Kohen's body shuddered involuntarily at Vaughn's touch by his waist, his hands loosely bunching up sections of the other male's hair and gently tugging on it to try and still his heart that raced with the soft-spoken praise. The hungriness that Vaughn displayed as he wanted more from Kohen drew a small whine from him. Vaughn was giving him everything he could ever want and somewhere in the back of Kohen's mind, he knew that was a dangerous thing. It didn't matter though; Kohen was ready to drown himself in whatever Vaughn had to offer him.

The tension melted away from Vaughn’s body when Kohen’s fingers carded through his dark hair. A shivering breath escaped his lips whenever Kohen tugged on it in just the right way. He knew he would be unable to keep up with things for long before he got himself worked up. Still, he chose to savor the moment. Never had someone been so pliable and soft in his hands. Kohen was following his little instructions and reacting so positively to his touch. It was exhilarating, as much as it was calming.

Kohen’s shivering hadn’t gone unnoticed by Vaughn. It pulled him from his desire to continue with Kohen. He wanted to take everything the red head had to offer, but he knew he couldn’t. Not yet, at least. They had to take things slow, and what they had going was a damn good start. They could kiss again- hopefully. Vaughn’s fear was that the memory would be locked away in that bathroom. There was only so much time until Kohen found out who he really was, and then things would end. Vaughn needed to savor Kohen’s presence as much as possible. He had no time to waste with being nervous.

After a final soft kiss, Vaughn drew back. His cheeks were pink and he looked at Kohen like he was the only thing that existed in the world. Really, that was the truth. He liked Kohen, liked him so much that he didn’t have eyes for anyone but him. It could have been seen as unhealthy for him to get so deeply attached in such a short amount of time, but the thought didn’t register to Vaughn. He was just devoted, nothing crazy or dangerous.

Vaughn’s head tilted, momentarily pressing into the feeling of Kohen’s fingers. He savored the feeling before they would eventually move away. His hair was a mess, looking like he had just rolled out of bed, but he barely noticed. His hand left Kohen’s hip and went back to stroke his cheek, a little smile on his lips. “I like you,” he stated, repeating the same thing that had started the initial argument. He picked up Kohen’s hands, pressing his lips to the knuckles affectionately. He didn’t run away when he said it, not like he had tried to before. He stayed on that bathroom floor with Kohen instead.

After a couple of minutes, the pair would leave the restaurant. Vaughn had made sure to collect the togo bag that was left on their table that contained the two slices of cheesecake in their own boxes. There wasn’t much conversation made between the two of them, but Vaughn was alright with that. He felt content in the silence after getting his emotions off of his chest. It felt good to do so, and he wondered if it was something he should do more often. Figure seemed to hang back more, watching from afar where its whispers and hisses were quieter.

A short walk led them to a nearby park. It was a large area of woods with small destinations throughout- like various playgrounds or gardens. It was known for its trails that were family friendly, not being too difficult for younger children. They found a bench in a shady area near a garden. It was full of rose bushes, mostly, surrounding a small fountain with stone statues of birds perched on it. Vaughn dug into their togo bag, hanging one of the boxes and a fork to Kohen.

“Still feel up to eating the free cheesecake?” he asked, glancing down at him. He hadn’t made much eye contact with Kohen since their kiss. He seemed a bit flustered by it all, though held no regrets about doing it. Really, he was antsy about being Kohen’s first. He wanted to ask how it was, if he had done a good job. Maybe he was seeking out praise, though he would never directly ask for it.

Kohen was wholly unaware of how intense the thoughts and feelings going on inside of Vaughn were. He had never had anyone be interested in him, let alone obsessed with him. He didn't know what that looked like and he would most likely mistake Vaughn's overwhelming need for him for love- genuine love. Well. Maybe it was, despite it all.
Still. Because he had no experience with love he didn't know how dangerous and volatile it could be at times. He only knew about the things he had done in the past just to get close to someone he liked, but more than half the time it had been laced with hate and anger.
Vaughn was already a dangerous individual in Kohen's head but the way he had just kissed him and touched him sure was disarming. The look he was currently giving him was enough for him to drop his guard completely too. And for someone who was just now getting a dose of the love he should have had sooner in his life, he didn't know what to do with himself.

The flushed look on his face had started to fade as he looked Vaughn over, from the messy hair to his lips when he spoke. His eyes quickly darted elsewhere however when Vaughn spoke the words- only to be brought back by the kiss to his knuckles.
Kohen looked flustered to no end with those simple three words and painfully sweet actions to the point where he resorted to pushing Vaughn away playfully, the red on his face and tips of his ears making it clear that he enjoyed hearing those words despite the expression he might have been pulling in that moment. And although he had pushed Vaughn away, his hands had stayed by the hem of his shirt when they dropped down, holding onto Vaughn's clothes, even now.

"Yeah, I guess I like you too," he said, trying hard to dismiss the raging anxiety that mixed with the joy of finally saying the words he had wanted to say for so many years. It felt relieving as much as it gave him a slight rush of adrenaline.

On their way out of the restaurant, Kohen profusely apologized to the waitress who had been kind enough to gift them the two pastries on the house. She had huffed and told Kohen that she would only forgive him if he brought his boyfriend around to eat again while she was on shift. She commented on Vaughn being eye candy before poking fun at Kohen and telling him it was all jokes- noting how he had started to eye her suspiciously, almost as if starting to get defensive. She seemed to enjoy the lively couple as nothing interesting usually happened on her shifts, it felt like a breath of fresh air- or maybe slightly toxic air, but either way she didn't mind it.

Kohen didn't say much the entire way to the park, he seemed to be deep in thought, but a lot more relaxed around Vaughn after the happenings. Being with Vaughn had felt very good- it still felt very good but a new worry had silenced him. If Vaughn kept killing and he eventually got caught- since there was no doubt in Kohen's mind that it would happen sooner or later, what would he do?
…
He just couldn't get caught, Kohen decided. He didn't know how to bring up his concerns for the other male. He wasn't one to say how he felt and with the extra barrier there of Vaughn not knowing that he knew- it was a problem. He didn't want to think about how Vaughn would react to him knowing. He wondered if that would scare him and make him do things in order to keep Kohen quiet. It was a lot of what ifs and a lingering panic from his previous 'what if he kills me?' thought.

After they found a spot and sat, he glanced over at Vaughn when he offered the dessert to him. He hummed in appreciation as he took it, almost instantly unboxing it and digging in to scoop a bit of the cake into his mouth.
"I could eat" he joked, a small smile tugging at his lips despite having stuffed himself with the large burger and fries at the restaurant. If there was something about Kohen, it was his insatiable hunger for food. It was as if he was in a constant mindset of starvation whether that was emotionally or physically.

Vaughn didn't know Kohen all too well to pick up on that small fact yet but Kohen ate at any chance he got, like he didn't know when his next meal would be. Even if his mood was ruined or he couldn't stomach it, he would still force it all down. It partially had to do with the fact that his father got angry and unnecessarily violent when he didn't finish all his food at the table even if Kohen felt unwell. The other half of that was that he genuinely had no clue where his next meal would come from, his father was very inconsistent in that area. Some nights he demanded they eat together as a "family" and the next he was drunk off his ass with nothing to show for it.
Kohen had gotten "used to it" but there were nights when there was nothing edible in the entire house and he resorted to scrounging around…. sometimes, he found, that restaurant threw out perfectly good food.
Even if it was past the expiration date…

Kohen reciprocating Vaughn's feelings with a verbal confirmation didn't help his mindset one bit. When Kohen had returned the words, Vaughn had smiled like some lovesick idiot. Despite Kohen pushing him away out of embarrassment, he pushed back, pecking Kohen's lips quickly. His energy had gotten much lighter since then. Despite his own embarrassment over the situation, his joy over Kohen feeling the same trumped that. He wondered how much Kohen liked him. Was it as much as Vaughn already liked him? As nice as that was, it was wishful thinking. His emotions were overwhelming and intense, threatening to consume the usually unfeeling and stoic man.

At the park, Vaughn smiled softly as he watched Kohen eagerly dig into the cheesecake. He wondered if Kohen had gotten enough to eat at the restaurant. Maybe if Kohen had any more free time later in the day, they could grab something else to eat. He wouldn't mind that. He tended to take a couple of days in between kills to allow himself to rest and stay low. That time was already being replaced with ideas of things Kohen and him could do together. He seemed lost in thought as he made a mental list of all of the things that they could do together- if Kohen had the time, that is. Kohen had a job that would surely take up some of his time. Vaughn had to accept that Kohen couldn't give him all of his attention at all times. He was very much reluctant to do so.

"Is it good?" he asked as Kohen ate the slice like it was his last meal.

Vaughn took out his own slice of cheesecake, setting the box down on his lap. He opened it up, taking a little piece off with the fork. He put it in his mouth, exhaling softly at the taste. It only took a second for him to put the pieces of a memory together, brought back by the taste of the cheesecake.

It was the memory of a cherry pie- the taste and smell of it coming back to Vaughn clearly. He remembered his childhood home and how his mother enjoyed baking in her spare time. She seemed to use it as a way to relax. After something happened between her and his father, she would always end up in the kitchen baking some sort of sweets. The smell of it would draw Vaughn and his sister from their hiding place in his closet. It was a sign that their father had either left to go to the bar or pass out wasted in his bed. It was a sign that it was safe.

Vaughn and his sister would come down the stairs, creeping quietly into the kitchen. Their mother would greet them as if nothing was wrong, as if the forming black eye and other bruises on her skin didn't exist. The three of them would sit at the kitchen table and eat the dessert, their mother asking them about how school went that day. Cherry pie was something that she was very good at baking. She had her own recipe, one that she said she would share with the both of them once they were older. She said she would teach them how to make the pie from scratch one day.

The day never came- she was murdered by his father before that. Vaughn never learned her recipe. He had never been able to replicate her cherry pie, nor had he been able to find something that tasted just like it.

The sounds of a bird chirping as it landed by the fountain pulled Vaughn from his memories. While remembering softer times with his family, he had a far away look on his face and something sad in his eyes. He blinked quickly, having felt his eyes begin to grow wet. He looked down at his cheesecake, fork tapping on the to go box that it sat in. He suddenly wasn't sure if he could stomach it, but knew it would be strange if he didn't. He put another bite in his mouth, swallowing it a bit more harshly than he had before.

"Don't know if I'll be able to finish the rest of mine- I got full on that burger. Want some of mine?" Vaughn decided to offer. Kohen seemed hungry, and he needed to get rid of the rest of the cheesecake. It would be a win for the both of them.

While Kohen had been focusing on his cheesecake, he could feel Vaughn's gaze on him- call it intuition… or perhaps the trauma of being watched closely at all times since his childhood.
Kohen looked at Vaughn from the corner of his eyes as he ate, yet didn't utter a word. His eyes did, however, very clearly give off a 'what are you staring at me like that for?' vibe.

Vaughn would have to get used to it- or perhaps will Kohen to change in that area. He gave off a mean aura even when he was silent and eating- much like an animal guarding and defending its meal. The words from Vaughn only made his suspicion rise, his intensity growing with it.

"…it's good.." Kohen spoke cautiously as if waiting for the other shoe to drop.

It didn't come, and instead, was filled with silence as Vaughn seemed to drift off to a place unknown to Kohen. He saw the spaced-out look on Vaughn's person but didn't dare to question it or even snap him out of it. Kohen didn't need to ask, he already knew. It was the type of knowing that came from someone who shared a similar experience- who knew what it was like.

So instead, he dug back into his cake and took another chunk full into his mouth.

Kohen didn't have any good memories to look fondly on. He remembered there had been a time without constant pain and the torment that came with everything that was his father and the household he lived in, but that was as far as it went. He supposed no pain was good, even if those memories were mediocre at best.

Vaughn offering his cheesecake to Kohen, however, made him stop. He looked at his face to gauge if he was joking or not and when Kohen assessed that he wasn't, he took the pastry all too eagerly- now quickly finishing off his portion to dig into Vaughn's.

"Thanks" he spoke, his voice sounding lighter and brighter, even if it wasn't noticeable at first.

He didn't know, but anyone who was willing to offer him food was on his strong "like" list, even though Vaughn had more than food to offer him- that, however, triumphed everyone else.
Kohen came back to those who fed him- as seen with his friend who had offered him a position at the coffee place. At the moment, he didn't think anything could top having a warm meal- even if it was just once a day. Love and food were all he was looking for. He could go without shelter- he had many times throughout middle and high school, oftentimes sleeping on the streets, but as long as he wasn't alone, it wouldn't be so hard. He had gotten through tough times by himself and he could again if he had to, but it all sounded exhausting. Not having someone by his side to tell him that he could do this and that he wasn't alone felt depressing- as plainly as he could put it. A support system, in short. It was a support system that he craved.

"I'll pay you back," Kohen said through a mouthful of cake, trying to keep his mouth open to a minimum, making his words sound muffled so as to not be rude.

Kohen looking suspicious made Vaughn arch a brow in question for a moment. Why would he be joking about giving Kohen the rest of his cheesecake? An idea of why came to Vaughn's mind- did Kohen not have easy access to food? It would explain why Kohen insisted on scarfing down anything that he was given. He realized that he didn't know much about Kohen's homelife and wondered if it was in any way abusive like his had been. Maybe Kohen's parent refused to give him food as a punishment or something along the same lines. He would have to get to the bottom of what was going on. Maybe he could help Kohen.

When Kohen lit up and accepted the cheesecake, Vaughn smiled softly. He wanted to keep doing things that made Kohen have that expression on his face. He would do whatever it took to see it over and over again in an attempt to commit it to being flawless in his memory. Maybe he should ask to take a picture. Would Kohen allow him to do that or would he shrug it off and deny him? The worry kept his mouth shut.

Vaughn shook his head quickly when Kohen said he would pay him back. "You don't need to, it's ok," he replied, voice firm in that decision. He glanced down at his hands where he was fidgeting with his thumbs in a nervous sort of way. His next words came out a bit less firm, sounding more unsure and experimental, "Think of it as a 'thank you' for going out with me."

Saying it like that, it sounded like they were on a date. Was this technically a date? They went out to eat with each other and kissed at the end of it, that sounded exactly like a date to Vaughn. Though, he didn't have much experience to judge it off of outside of a few random dates as a teenager and watching movies. But he felt like it could be a date if he really wanted it to be. His ears had been getting hot, turning red at the tips from feeling flustered by his own words and thoughts.

"Are you doing anything else today? Do you have any other plans?" Vaughn asked, turning to look at Kohen. Maybe they could spend more time together, and they could do things that people did while they were on dates. That would practically make things official, wouldn't it? He had a hopeful glint in his eyes as he waited for Kohen's answer, and he felt himself opening his mouth again to ramble a bit more due to feeling awkward, "I don't have any other plans for the day, and I don't really want to go back home. I'd like to spend more time with you, if that's alright."