forum Critique my item?

Started January 17, 2020 by @AJ

tune

Hello, I was passing by and I thought I'd try to be of some help. I'm pretty new to this website and I have terrible advice, but I'll try my best. Before I decided to critique your item, I took a look at the universe it belongs to. I got to tell you, I was blown away. I read quite a lot, web novels and physical novels, but a lot of their plots are overdone. I may be biased because I have a soft spot for drama, especially involving crime, but if I were to throw those away, I promise you I'd still pick up this novel. The plot is engaging and I could see people being entertained by it. Universe aside, the item, in general, was close to perfect. You did a great job building the risk factor of the item and its use, but my only real concern was how these crime boss' and people use them. An item with such power can lead to their success or downfall. Have any people used it and faced serious consequences? I know the website doesn't have a lot of information slots, but while writing I think it would be helpful for the reader to get an image in their head. If you cannot turn back time with the watch, how do those in possession of it use the function where you can turn forward time while you remain unaged? Could it not jeopardize their position at all? Again, you can't write everything down, but you might consider writing it down. I could have missed certain parts, and if I did, please do not hesitate to call me out. If I came off rude in any way I apologize. If it were me I wouldn't change a thing to the design or the functions. Don't worry yourself over small things, the item itself will do its purpose and you will be able to clearly explain its role. If you didn't find this helpful please ignore it, don't let me confuse you.

@feelingbratty Hi! Thanks so much for your feedback- I'm so happy to know that you like my story!!

I've got plans for how the watch is going to be used in the story, and (no spoilers, but) I'm planning on a prominent character dying because they were using the watch without fully understanding how it works, and other minor characters getting killed by a person using the watch's power (and they definitely know how it works). My main characters aren't going to run into this problem much, though, but that's primarily because they're either, A: Smart enough to know how to use it properly, or B: Smart enough to know not to use it at all.

You've got some great questions, though, and if you're still curious, I've since updated the Pocket Watch's page! Again, thank you so much for your response!