Hey, your teaser was real cool! There's some places where I think you should add periods to make your sentences flow better, and just some little grammar things, but it was pretty easy to read. You have the song lyrics in the first part but not the second, so that threw me off a bit, but as long as you make the separation between the two parts a bit clearer you should be good! Nice job!
It's very interesting, to say the least.
This is awesome. I especially loved the beginning; really pulled me in with the interspersed song lyrics. I'd definitely say keep going. :)
gasp andrew (Our Supreme Lord and Overseer) has entered the chat!
lol
gasp andrew (Our Supreme Lord and Overseer) has entered the chat!
o.o
okayyyyyyyyy. im going to put up a different WIP, I'll pull three chapters from the middle.
this is a sucky second teaser.
and you have to be reeeeeely mean and nitpicky about details (not grammar)
Well… if you want some critique on that, then sure, I'll help out~
The very first thing is I can't view it aha
oh
nah, doesn't work
here, try this.
go to said document and pretend as if you were going to make some changes to it, but then click about, which should be in the top right corner
click share this document, and enable link-sharing
(oof, looks like I might have broken the ability to make documents public past night. I'll get that fixed in tonight's release. Sorry about that!)
(LOL. It's alright, andrew (Our Supreme Lord and Overseer). Thanks for being awesome, dude.)
(Oh that's okay aha! And like Nie said, thanks again for being awesome!)
(It's fixed now, but @writers_goddamn_block will have to make the document public again, since the bug was in saving doc privacy changes!)
Alright, I can take a smol peek at it now, but I won't be able to finish until at or after school
The actual first thing i have to say about this is that it tends to switch from past tense to present tense almost immediately. And then back to past tense after a little bit. Maybe change that? I personally find that a bit confusing.
The actual first thing i have to say about this is that it tends to switch from past tense to present tense almost immediately. And then back to past tense after a little bit. Maybe change that? I personally find that a bit confusing.
on it
oh my god lord andrew (Our Supreme Lord and Overseer) is here!
See, I told you it was good @writers_goddamn_block !
aLsO-
I love the names you used!