@murphysgirl
This satirical dictionary is intended to be a modern form of Gustave Flaubert's late-19th-early-20th-century masterpiece, the Dictionary of Accepted Ideas. This is meant to reflect the current state and views of society, not my own opinion, although I have let a little bit of bias sneak in here and there. My intentions with this are much like Flaubert's in that they are supposed to poke fun at society. One might call this a dictionary of memes - witticisms, if you will.
And yes, I know it's not in alphabetical order yet. I've been too lazy.
Here are my entries so far. I am not accepting suggested entries. This dictionary is mine, and mine to add to.
Nissan Juke. Cancerous piece of engineering; all drivers should be burned, along with the cars themselves.
Pen. If mightier than the sword, all carriers are armed and dangerous.
Bookstore/Coffee shop. The most noble thing to own.
Abortion. Highly controversial; therefore, you must have a strong opinion on it.
Vlogger. Lowest form of life.
Metafiction. Only to be written by Patrick.
Star Wars. One of the "former greats". The last three movies turned it sour: complain loudly about the lack of George Lucas.
Rap music. Rhythmic mumbling.
Principal. To be blamed for all of a school's problems. Do not blame the superintendent, whose name you do not need to know.
Overalls. Only to be worn on Fridays.
Minecraft. A noble art. Deny that you play. Have a group of friends with whom you "craft". Complain loudly about how a Creeper blew up your latest creation.
Politics. Condemn, but quietly follow. Thunder against anyone whose views differ from yours.
Book. Only read in English classes. Nerds read them "for fun".
Library. Quiet. Gathering place for nerds and the homeless.
Dewey Decimal System. Religion of librarians. You are not allowed to understand it.
Harry Potter. "It's Wingaridum Leviosa, not Leviosa!"
Facebook. Only understood by millenials.
Millenial. There is no such thing as a conservative one.
IKEA. Reference their meatballs and the difficulty of their building instructions.
Bomb. The red wire defuses it - or is it the green one? It is confusing. When defusing, take a long time to decide which wire to cut, all the while sweating profusely; in the end, whichever wire you cut is the right one.
Firefighters. Rescue cats from trees. Own a Dalmatian.
Jaguar (Car). If you drive one, you can get away with anything. See Italians.
Italians. All either Mafia hit bosses, pizza restaurant owners, or supermodels. Can get away with anything. See Jaguar (Car).
Ketchup. Can be used as fake blood.
Samsung (Phone). Users are always insisting that they are better than Apple ones.
Newspapers. Archaic.
French accent (feigned). Always a sign that someone is up to no good.
