chgkc3
This is the intro to a story I have been storyboarding for some time now. I was hoping to get some feedback on what you guys think of it. It is a scene from later in the story that I liked as a way to grab the reader's attention. Any and all feedback is welcome! Thanks in advance!
The sky erupted in thunderous applause as the downpour began. The rain mixed the blood and dirt into a rust colored soup. Amidst the muk sat a man, soaked to the core. Hot tears collided with freezing rain and dripped rapidly into the blood soaked mud. A black, chipped blade slipped ever so slowly from his once hardened grip. Bodies and limbs lay in piles surrounding him. Cuts, scratches, and even bite marks covered his body, while blood seeped from each wound. He slowly lifted his head to the sky, peering into the black nothingness that was above him. He let out a booming and pained cry that could have woken the gods. Seconds flowed into minutes flowed into hours, but the man never waivered. Motionless on his knees, slowly losing the fight with the cold and rain he sat. He released the blade from his grip and waved his hand. A light blue screen expanded from nowhere. Though his muscles were cold and exhausted, his fingers moved like lightning. He scrolled and clicked and swiped until he managed to open his friends list. He continued to scroll through the abundant list as a crack of lightning exploded a tree nearby. The deafening thunder rolled as he crossed the name, "Ashlinn". A greyed out circle spun next to her name. He closed the menu as his head dropped. A light grin adorned his face as he reached for the chipped blade. The rain fell harder as he slowly pushed himself to his feet.
